A lot had happened.
Jake had kept his word and stayed away. But he'd also left Sam's pack and started one of his own. A band of misfits of sorts. Him, Leah, and Seth. Well, Seth not so much.
He hadn't gone back to school so he was constantly there, every time I showed up he was there. Next to Bella, never taking his eyes off her, never offering me a glance nor a word.
Exactly what I asked for.
On top of that, Bella had been overly vocal in her distaste for me. Even on her side, she was still my enemy.
They were just small, little stabs, would have been barely noticeable had she not done them all the time. It was frustrating, but I was used to it, and Jake took up all of my focus. I tried to keep my eyes off him and failed every time.
Today, his face was doing that thing where he was trying to reign in his anger. I wondered what he had to be angry about, if it was Sam, Leah, if it was me, but then he opened his mouth to make my heart flutter just a tiny bit, "Bells, that's enough."
"I wasn't—"
"You were, so just stop, alright?" His voice was angry and tired and that's the reason I followed him when he got up and left. Because he sounded so defeated.
That's it.
"I didn't need you to stick up for me." Somehow that was the first thing out of my mouth. Not asking after his well-being but redefining the boundaries I'd put up, just so that he knew. So that we both knew.
"I'm not supposed to be talking to you." He bit back which was painful but true. The anger in those words made me nervous, not for my safety, but because everything in me wanted to wipe that frown off his face.
"I-I just wanted to tell you that you didn't need to do that. We're not—"
"We're not together anymore." He spat. "I get it. You've told me that. I didn't do it for you. I was tired of hearing her talk. That's it."
"Oh. Okay. I just-"
"I'm listening to you. I'm giving you what you want, so just...let me do that." His voice was still angry. That was the only thing I was clear on. I couldn't see his face, as his back was facing me, but that anger, it saddened me.
There were tears collecting at the edge of my eyes, but he wasn't looking. His eyes were nowhere near me, he wanted to give me what I wanted, yet why did this hurt just as much, more so, than him chasing after me?
For a moment, a deep emptiness formed inside of me for I missed the Jake who was just my friend. The one I could talk to about anything. The one I could run to when I wanted to scream and cry. But I couldn't, because of my pride, because he had broken me.
But now, it looked like I had done the same to him.
I gave one nod, that he didn't see, and made my way back into the house. I flopped into the couch, covering my face with my hands and letting a few tears fall.
This didn't make any sense. I didn't love him. I had told myself this truth time and time again. But why did my heart not believe it?
I blamed it on the curse.
"You really love him don't you?" Bella's voice sounded from above me.
"Why is that so hard for you to believe?" I asked, angrily wiping away the tears. She seemed startled by my crying.
Join the club.
"It's not. I mean Jake is great." She said. "I just…I want him to be happy."
I applauded her selflessness. "Good for you."
"I mean that I want Jake to find a love like Edward and I have. I wasn't sure that you were that for him."
"Or you weren't ready to let him go?"
"I was, actually." She took a seat next to me, not touching me but looking off into space, lost in memory. "Did you know the day he met you was the day I chose Edward?"
I paused, searching back in my own memory banks for that day, my first encounter with Jacob Black. It was a fond reminiscence, one of playfulness and flirtation, a beginning to our end. I briefly recalled his frustration at the start of our meeting; it was no surprise to me that it had been because of Bella.
"Did you also choose Edward the day you asked him to kiss you or was that just a mild setback?"
Her face flared red, and she rushed to defend herself. "I was trying to save his life!"
"Well, congratulations on that at least. Jake didn't die that day. It was just me."
Just me. Alone and hurt, watching the literal love of my life tear my heart out and stomp it into the ground.
There was a pause of silence before she asked, "You really like Jake, don't you?"
"The fact that you don't know by now how much I loved Jake is really sad and unbelievable in itself." I scoffed. "It doesn't matter anymore really. I loved Jake. Past tense. That's all over now."
"You mean love." I glared at her. "I see the way you look at him, Crystal. Still. Even after he kissed me. Even after he left. Even after he broke your heart. You love him and nobody, not me, not him, not you, nobody is ever going to change that."
"If you weren't pregnant right now...I swear I would kill you." Rosalie hissed at me from the corner, standing tall and big, fangs flashing. "Down Killer, I said if...and don't give me that look you would kill her too if she tried to take Emmett from you." That shut her up.
Turning back to Bella, I said, "I don't really need your views on my love life, I have enough people telling me what they see when it comes to me and Jake but I don't see anything. I'm sitting here with a broken heart, and I have to find it in myself to forgive him because somehow, someway he ended up being my imprint. I'm pulled to him even though I want to run far far away from him. All he brings me is pain, but I'm supposed to feel love for him. Now you tell me how that says love to you."
"I know what you're going through."
"Don't." I warned. "I'm done talking about this with you."
"I do know what you're going through." she insisted.
"No Bella, you don't. Edward left you to protect you. Jake kissed another girl, you, and then left because he was a coward. Don't compare the two. Just don't."
I was out of the house before she could say another word, my hate for Jake refueled and the fortress around my heart intact.