Hi guys~ quick update I know! (I'm just as surprised as you are! (not really)) But it's only fair that I finish out Sasuke's birthday before I go on vacation, right? I thought so too.
I hope you enjoy!
On a typical day, Itachi slept in until ten thirty or eleven in the morning which was slowly becoming normal for him ever since he fell ill with leukemia. He would then start his day off by eating a light lunch because the rumors he'd heard in passing were true – hospital food was not very appetizing, especially when one was expected to eat it every day, three times a day, of the duration of their month long stay. If he thought that chemotherapy induced nausea was bad, then the next three weeks of his new diet, comprised entirely of hospital food, would be pure hell.
Between lunch and dinner, Itachi did one of two things: slept or tried to concoct new ways to keep himself entertained. Unlike some of the other bedridden patients admitted to the hospital, Itachi was (mostly) alert enough to carry out his usual hobbies such as reading the paper or reading a courtroom drama, or reading up on people whose cancer went into remission and were able to go back to living life the way that they had before they were diagnosed. Every so often, Itachi was granted a brief visit by Kisame or Sasuke which always brought a smile to Itachi's face because it provided him with conversation that didn't revolve around cell counts, hemoglobin, transfusions, bone marrow or bone marrow transplants.
Today, however, was different.
Today, Itachi not only had the pleasure of receiving a visit from Kisame who was able to drop off Sasuke's birthday present before going to work this afternoon, but by Sasuke as well who was coming to spend his birthday with his older brother after getting off from his shift at the restaurant.
"Happy birthday, Sasuke." Itachi smiled when Sasuke entered the room.
"Thanks, Itachi." He replied and leaned over to place something on the ground.
Itachi attempted to sit up a little straight to see what it was Sasuke had brought with him when Sasuke approached him with open arms and embraced him in a gentle hug. When they parted, Itachi reached over to the bedside table where he'd placed the little box that held Sasuke's present and extended his arm to hand it to him.
"When did you have time to—"
Itachi shrugged. "Before I was admitted. I knew that I was going to be here for your birthday so I went shopping ahead of time. I hope you like it."
He watched closely as Sasuke pulled the lid of the box up to reveal the fountain pen inside. "Thanks, Itachi." Sasuke said, closing the box.
"You're welcome." Itachi smiled. Sasuke stood up just then, holding the box in hand, and walked around the perimeter of the hospital bed. He was wearing a plaid button down shirt with a black graphic tee from one of those dimly lit Goth stores that sold albums, shirts, piercings, anime and popular Disney merchandise and skinny jeans (which Itachi suspected were bought from the same dimly lit store). His right wrist was bare, Itachi noticed, while his left adorned a bracelet made of black parachute cables. "You're not wearing the watch I bought you as a graduation present."
Sasuke, who was kneeling down on the floor so that only the jagged peaks of his hair could be seen from above the bed, answered "It's at my apartment."
Although Sasuke was spending most, if not, all of his time at Itachi's apartment, he still hadn't moved out of his own apartment yet. Itachi guessed that he was waiting to see how Itachi's first round of chemotherapy went before he made any rash decisions. And Itachi was proud of him for that. "Kisame stopped by this morning." Itachi said by way of making conversation. "It seems to me that the two of you have been tolerating each other's presence lately?"
"You could say that." Sasuke murmured and rose to a stand.
The moment Itachi saw the razor in his brother's hands, his eyes widened. In that instant, all of the energy seemed to drain from his body as though somebody had punched him in the gut, effectively knocking the wind out of him.
"You okay, Itachi? You look pale."
Itachi couldn't speak. Not then, at least. All of the words he might have said in response to Sasuke's simple question were rooted in his heart which was having enough trouble beating as it was. Instead, he nodded, acutely aware of the rock solid lump that had formed in the back of his throat as he did so.
"You agreed that it was better to rip the Band-Aid off instead of waking up bald the next morning." Sasuke said, bending over again. "And it's okay, I brought a hat with me for when it's all said and done."
Rip. Bald. Said and done. Those were the only five words Itachi's brain had been able to process and each evoked a different, yet equally horrifying message to his mind. Instead of denying or confirming Sasuke's claim, Itachi's mind was filled with images of Sasuke ripping his hair out of his head by the fistfuls, of feeling the smooth exterior of his cranium like an old man standing before a mirror, reminiscing his lost youth, and finally, a granite stone that read "ITACHI UCHIHA; JUNE 9TH, 1985 – JULY 23RD, 2015; BELOVED BROTHER, R.I.P"
Deep down inside, Itachi knew that each of those images were just exaggerations of the things that Sasuke had said or maybe they didn't have anything to do with what Sasuke had said at all. How would Itachi know? He was more focused on keeping his lunch down from a couple of hours ago than the things that Sasuke was saying.
"Itachi?" Sasuke asked again.
"Justdoitalready." The words left his mouth as quickly as a sudden gust of air on a cold November day and as loudly as a brittle brown leaf being carried along with it.
"What?"
"Just." Breathe. "Do." Breathe. "It." Breathe. "Already."
"Are you sure?"
Itachi nodded, fully aware that his terror was probably causing his hair to fall out even faster than before. "Name of the deceased: Itachi Uchiha. Sex: Male Race: Other. Date of death: July 23rd, 2015. Cause of death: Heart failure." His death certificate would say.
-8-8-8-
It had taken him a full hour to recover from the near panic attack he was having. And through it all, Sasuke had sat by his side, rubbing small circles into his back which caused more of his hair to fall out and become entangled in between his brother's fingers. It was then that Itachi decided that he had had enough. "I'm ready now." He announced.
"Are you sure?" Sasuke asked, skepticism lacing his voice like syrup drizzled onto the hot surface of a buttermilk pancake.
Itachi nodded. "Yes." He said evenly, a feat he wasn't able to manage less than thirty minutes ago. "I'm tired of hiding the fact that my hair is falling out and I'm tired of waking up to clumps of it on my pillow case. I'd rather cut it all off now and be done with it instead of waiting for it all to be gone."
Sasuke chuckled and rose to his feet. "It'll be weird seeing you without all of your hair."
Itachi shot him a murderous glare.
"Sorry." He apologized and grabbed the razor from where he'd placed it at the edge of the bed.
Itachi took a deep breath and tried to think of something to talk about that would take his mind off of what Sasuke was about to do to him. What was it that he wanted to talk to Sasuke about today? Something important… "It sorta strikes me as strange that you and Kisame are getting along so well lately."
"Why?" Sasuke asked. "I know how to act towards people I don't necessarily like."
People I don't necessarily like. Those were the key words. "If you don't like him, then why—" Itachi began to say when Sasuke flipped on the razor, halting him mid-sentence. He took a deep breath once again to still his unsettled nerves when Sasuke pulled the razor blade away.
"Then why what?" He asked.
Beside him, the razor blades clicked and whirred, disrupting Itachi's usually articulate train of thought. When it became clear that Sasuke wasn't going to make a move until Itachi did, he said "Kisame mentioned that he had legal matters that you were helping him resolve."
Again, he could hear the razor gravitating closer and closer to his skull like the day of a death sentence coming closer and closer. "How do you want me to do this?" Sasuke asked.
His words caused Itachi to jump at least half a foot. "I don't care, Sasuke do whatever you need to do!" He shouted, screwing his eyes shut. Just get it over with already.
"Well tell me what you want me to do to make this go more smoothly! Do you want me to start from the top and shave it all off or do you want me to cut chunks of it out so you get used to seeing it get shorter and shorter until there's nothing left to shave?"
Itachi didn't understand a word that was coming out of Sasuke's mouth and he didn't want to. "Just…do whatever you think is best. I just want this to be done and over with." Itachi whispered.
Sasuke apparently heard him and released a low grunt. "Whatever." He said and grabbed a fist full of Itachi's hair in his left hand as if he were getting ready to tie it back into its usual ponytail. And yet again, Itachi could hear the buzz of the razor blades sawing back and forth as Sasuke's hand steadily approached the base of his neck until it had made contact with his weakened follicles. And one by one, Itachi could feel the strands breaking apart. There would be a moment of tension and then release before the cycle repeated itself again.
By the time it was done, Itachi was certain that his heart was racing at 140bpm and Sasuke wasn't even done yet.
"Are you okay?" Sasuke asked, flipping off the razor.
Itachi pressed his lips together and nodded. I'm okay. It's just hair. I can do this.
"Do you want to see it?" Sasuke asked.
Itachi knew that he was referring to the ponytail that no longer relaxed between his shoulder blades, now gripped in the Sasuke's iron clutch, and shook his head.
"Okay." He said.
Itachi could imagine him opening his hands to release the anthracite strands, once united, onto the hospital tile in a slow downpour as dark as the nighttime sky.
"Do you want to see what you look like without your ponytail?" Sasuke asked.
Once again, Itachi shook his head, noting the way the ends of his hair licked and tickled the base of his neck and shook his head. He imagined he looked like his college macroeconomics professor at that moment and wanted to spare himself the humiliation of such a sight. It wasn't that his macro professor wasn't attractive; Itachi just felt as though her hair style wouldn't suit him as nicely as it did her.
"Are you ready for me to continue or do you want to take a break?"
"Continue." Itachi ordered.
Having your head shaved created a slew of conflicted feelings. On one hand, it like having someone thread their fingers through your hair, starting at the nape of your neck and running them all the way up to your scalp until you couldn't go any further. In a way, it reminded him of how his mother would play with his hair when he was sick and how the tiny hairs on his forearms would stand on end when her neatly manicured nails gently brushed against his skull. On the other hand, it also felt like running your hand along the surface of a velvet pillow – the wrong way. Only Itachi's head was the pillow, and the razor was the hand stroking the surface.
It was both comforting, and discomforting at the same time.
"So what were you saying about your roommate's legal issues again?" Sasuke asked again, trying to redirect the conversation they were having before he made the first cut. "I'm helping him because I went to law school and know a thing or two about legal matters, Itachi."
Again, Sasuke wouldn't make a move until Itachi spoke first. "But your arear area of expertise is in family law not probate law, Sasuke. You primarily deal with divorce cases, not wills, estates and inheritance which is Kisame's—" Itachi was about to say "issue" when Sasuke placed the razor at the base of his neck and pushed it up the back of his skull, causing a patch of hair to skitter down his back with a few strands falling into his shirt and tickling his back.
"Stop twitching." Sasuke muttered. "If they have to reattach a piece of your ear lobe, cancer will be the least of your problems." He said. "And I'm not overseeing him myself. I was planning to contact one of my old mentors from college."
Itachi felt stupid. Half of his skull was patted down by his hair while the other half was completely barren. Exposed. Nude. "While I appreciate that you're taking the time out to help Kisame, I have to admit that I'm a bit surprised." Itachi said. "I know that you want to get your feet wet in paralegal matters but I don't think you would've agreed to help him a week ago."
"That's because," Sasuke said, repositioning the razor at the base of his brother's neck once more, "he punched me in the eye, or have you forgotten?"
The more Sasuke shaved off, the more comfortable Itachi felt. The first cut, after all, was the hardest to get through. The rest was just mildly unsettling. "I haven't forgotten, it's just that you've gotten over it rather quickly. I guess what I'm trying to say is that I'm surprised, that's all."
"I'm not a kid anymore, Itachi, I'm an adult. I don't have to like everyone I work with to want to help them out." He explained. "But if somebody punched you in the face and then asked you to help them, wouldn't you decline too?"
Well, yes, I would. "That's not the point. You're not a probate lawyer and you don't like Kisame. You never hav—" He was about to say when his right bangs made their slow descent into Itachi's lap.
"Never what?" Sasuke prompted.
Itachi stared at the fallen fringe in his lap. It would be a very long time before he would be able to run his fingers through his hair again. "Just finish it."
"Are you sure?" Sasuke asked, positioning the razor on the left side of his head.
"Yes." Itachi choked out and screwed his eyes shut.
Even though his eyes were shut, he could feel the left side of his bangs – his outermost wall of defense from the world around him – slide down his forehead and brush against his cheek like rain drops.
With two more strokes, Itachi was effectively bald.
Beside him, Sasuke shut off the razor, unplugged it from the outlet he'd found on a nearby wall, and wrapped the cord into a tight coil.
Itachi exhaled, unable to tear his gaze away from the obsidian strands curled on top of the sky blue bedsheet draped on his thighs.
"What were you saying a minute ago, Itachi?" Sasuke asked, strolling past him to put the razor away.
Sasuke's bag, or whatever he brought with him to conceal his tiny instrument of shame and despair, was less than ten feet away. And although he hadn't walked very fast to cover the short distance, Itachi could feel the air caress his newly exposed skin, an area that had been shielded not even ten minutes ago. "I'm fine."
"What?"
"I'm fine." Itachi whispered to himself. He knew that Sasuke had asked him a question but he couldn't make out the words no matter how hard he tried. And he realized that he didn't actually care.
Everything's fine.
I'll be fine.
Andddddd scene! Poor Itachi. That's all I have to say. Actually, I lied. I wanted to thank everyone who gave me suggestions for Sasuke's 25th birthday present. As I said might happen, I didn't actually use any of them, but I'm grateful for your participation anyways~ (ice cream for everyone! Not really; the holidays got me broke!)
****To Charada: It was your review that made me sit down and crank this chapter out ASAP actually. I'm not sure why, but it was nice of you to leave a review telling me how much you loved my story so far and I dunno, it just inspired me~ ;) Thanx! (and please keep reviewing! It does my heart good and adds more years onto my life I think!)
****To AbsoluteAnarchy: There goes all hope of your Itachi shampoo commercial hon :( sorry.
****To Esparia: "So the little brother returns...and learns Itachi is losing his hair." ...only to return a few days later and shave it all off...
Until next time! (whenever that may be!)
~Sasori33-001