A/N: I've been using the 'Select Character' option on Content/Chapters to learn the correct spellings of these characters, because my wi-fi is poop and is literally the only thing that loads quickly. I apologise if I've completely screwed up some of the spellings because I can't find all the characters and am going on memory.
"Welcome, children." The priest said.
"Hi." Esil replied.
"This is Esil." Marcurio told him. "She's the one I told you about."
"I see. My name is Maramal, little elf."
"Why does everyone say I'm little? I'm five foot three." Esil muttered in Marcurio's ear.
"Exactly." Was the reply. Esil whacked his arm.
"Are you ready for marriage? This isn't a commitment to make lightly." The Redguard man said.
"Sir, I don't go back on deals." Esil told him. Marcurio whacked himself in the face with his hand.
"But do you love him?" Maramal looked at her pointedly.
"Sure. He's an asshole, but sure."
"Well this is going to be a shitty relationship." Marcurio muttered. Esil snickered.
"Why don't you come back when you've made up your mind?"
"No, I have. Let's get married, I probably won't screw that up." Esil said brightly. Maramal shook his head and led them to the front of the temple. Esil cocked her head to the side as she was placed on Marcurio's left, and they both faced the statue of Mara.
"We join today these two in holy matrimony, forever and always. We ask Mara for her blessing upon them, may they live long in prosperity." The priest said, raising his hands. "Do you, Marcurio, take this young elf as your wife?"
"I do." He said, looking at Esil. She cocked her head again, the strange muscle tic that normally accompanied curiosity and excitement.
"And do you, Esil, take this Imperial as your husband?" Her head was up again, and her sightless eyes moved to Marcurio's. She grinned, that strange sharp-toothed smile reminiscent of a Bosmer's.
"Sure— I mean, I do." Esil quickly corrected herself.
"Then as a symbol of their union, we present these rings for them." Esil and Marcurio were handed small silver bands. Esil pulled off her glove and slipped the ring on. She pulled her glove back on and with no warning tackled Marcurio in a hug, wrapping her legs around his waist and causing him to stagger and hold her.
"What the—"
"Shush, you." Esil told him, grinning. Marcurio laughed and carried her out of the Temple as she waved to the priests, who just smiled.
"Thank you!" She shouted as the doors shut.
"That was a strange elf." One priest commented.
"I know. I hope Marcurio knows what he's getting into." Maramal replied.
—
Marcurio carried Esil through the streets of Riften as she shrieked wildly, passing shopkeepers who gave them strange looks, and guards who shifted uncomfortably. Only as they blew through the doors of the Bee and Barb did Marcurio set Esil down, and even then he spun her around.
"Why didn't you act like this earlier?" Esil asked.
"Don't worry, I'm still going to rib you mercilessly and question every decision you make." Marcurio told her.
"Oh goody. Well, what do you want to do?"
"I want to drink."
"Already? We've just started!" Esil said, putting some hurt into her voice.
"Oh shush, you. As a toast, not an attempt to ignore everything."
"Okay then." Esil said brightly and was plopped down at a table, and a tankard was handed to her. They made a toast and drank deeply.
—
Five tankards later and Marcurio was wasted while Esil was merely tipsy. She giggled as she dragged him upstairs, tossing Talen-Jei some more septims. She dropped her husband on his bed and sat down on the chest.
"So what were we doing?" Marcurio drawled.
"Drinking." Esil said calmly.
"And whash are we going to do now?" He asked.
"You're going to sleep, and I'm going to… rob everyone." Esil said proudly.
"Be careful when you're doing thash. 'Kay?"
"Okay." Esil left him lying on the bed, humming those three damned notes as she walked down the stairs.
—
It turned out that robbing people while drunk was a terrible idea. She was dragged down to the dungeon by the guards and locked up across from Sibbi Black-Briar, the same man who'd wanted her to kill a woman and steal a horse for him. She glared at him, in his fancy lavish cell, as she laid down on the cot to wait out her time in jail.
—
"Where were you?" Marcurio asked.
"Jail. Pickpocketing is not a good idea when you can't feel your fingers." Esil said calmly.
"Of course. Where to for our honeymoon?"
"Out to some bandit caves. We're going to make enough money to buy this lovely little place in Whiterun." Esil said proudly.
"Bandit caves?"
"They have lots of loot. Follow me!" Esil said happily.