Chapter 37

"Hello," he repeated again in the phone. I was brought from my momentary haze and was able to think more clearly.

"Hello, Billy," I replied.

"Bella?" he grunted into the phone. He was obviously less than thrilled that I had called.

"Yes Billy, it's me,"

"What do you want?"He huffed.

"Could I talk to Jacob?"

"He's out," he grunted. I could tell he was about to hang up the phone when it was grabbed away from him.

"Hello," Jacob's voice came from the receiver. Again I was at a loss for words. What could I say to him? What did I want to say to him?

"Hello?"

"Hi Jake," I replied into the phone. I could hear his breathing catch at the realization of it being me on the other end of his phone.

"Jake, please, I need to speak to you," I said quickly fearing he would hang up the phone.

"I have nothing to say to you,"

"Jacob, don't be like that, we need to talk,"

"You're dead to me," he said coldly.

"JACOB BLACK! How dare you say that!" I screamed.

"How dare you! Calling here imposing the voice of an angel!" he yelled right back.

"Jacob can't you understand? It's still me," I replied anguish present in my tone. Why couldn't he except that it was still me.

"Don't you ever say that! You are not Bella, not my Bella,"

"Jacob, please listen to me. I'm still Bella. It's still me. Only my feeding habits have changed,"

"You're a fucking leech! You are not Bella," He retorted.

"You have to listen to me Jacob," I cried. Dry sobs overtook my body and I couldn't control myself. I was breaking down. Why couldn't he believe me? I was still Bella, the same ole me.

"I don't have to listen to anything," he growled. I could say nothing to this. Sobs ripped through my body as I tried desperately to gain composure.

"J-J-Jacob, p-p-pleassse listen," I cried.

"Fine, what the hell do you want?" he asked angrily.

"Just listen to what I have to say," I pleaded.

"Say it already!" he grumbled.

"Jake, I'm still me. I may be a vampire now, but I'm still me. If I had changed do you think I would have called off Emmett?"

"Whatever,"

"No Jake, not whatever. I'm still me and I still love you. I know that we can't be friends like we were before. I understand that. But can't we at least be civil? Can't you at least get over it and quit acting like I'm dead?"

"You are dead,"

"Maybe in your sense of the word I am. But Jacob I still exist, I'm still here," I sighed heavily. Maybe my heart stood still in my chest and maybe breathing was not necessary, but I still had emotions I was still present in this world.

"Your existence isn't right,"

"Jacob, I haven't harmed anyone. I don't wish to harm anyone. I am still me,"

"Bella, why did you do this?" he asked his voice cracking with emotion.

"When you love someone the way I love Edward you will understand. You will give up everything to be with them,"

"You could have had me,"

"Jake, I do love you, but not the same way. You were my best friend. That's how I loved you,"

"Bella, I could have made you happy," he replied I heard him crying.

"Not the same way Jacob. I know you don't understand, but Edward fulfills me,"

"I wanted to fulfill you Bella. I wanted you as mine,"

"Please understand Jacob, I only wanted you as a friend. I let things get too carried away," I replied trying to make him understand.

"I understand you marrying him. But why in the hell did you have to let him change you?"

"It's what I wanted,"

"Bella, you ruined everything," he groaned.

"What did I ruin Jake? I'm happy. I have everything I could ever ask for,"

"What about kids?" he asked his tone angry.

"I would like to have kids. But I really can't ask for anything else, Edward has made me happier than I have ever been,"

"But you could have been happy and had children with me Bella. You could have had everything,"

"No Jacob, I wouldn't have been happy. Maybe for a while, but I wouldn't be happy forever,"

"You don't know that,"

"Jake, Edward and I were meant to be. It's as simple as that. He and I were made for each other,"

"Bella we could have been happy," he tried to reason. I shook my head, even though he couldn't see it I needed to clear my mind. Would he never grasp that Edward and I were meant to be? That while I did love him on some level, that it would never measure up to the love that I held for Edward. I wanted him to be happy. I wanted him to move on with his life. I needed him to quit acting like I was dead.

"No Jake. We wouldn't have been. Please believe me,"

"Why did you call, to torture me?"

"No, I want you to be happy. I want you to find someone Jacob,"

"There's no one left for me,"

"Yes there is, you just aren't trying,"

"Bella, I don't want anyone else. You were the only person I have ever and will ever want,"

"You need to move on with your life Jacob. Some where out there is the perfect girl for you,"

"No,"

"Jacob, how do you know?"

"Because the girl I loved died and took all hopes of love with her,"

"Jake, I'm still alive. But even if I was unchanged there would not be a future for us. I am with Edward, and I don't regret my decisions,"

"Did you want to rip my heart out?"

"No Jacob, I want you to find love, just like I did. I want you to be happy and fulfilled in the way that I have,"

"What? You want me to be changed or something?" he laughed viciously.

"No. Very funny Jake. I want you to have someone like I have,"

"Bella, I don't want anyone but you,"

"Jake, I'm sorry. You just need to move on," I sighed. All I could do was talk to him and tell him that I didn't love him in that way. If he couldn't understand it, then it was his problem.

"But Bella…" he started.

"No buts Jake, you need to move on. And the reason for my call was to ask you to please stop acting like I'm dead, you're worrying Charlie,"

"I'm sorry Bella. But to me you're as good as dead,"

"Jake, I'm here for you when you need someone to talk to. But that's it. If you can except that I still exist that I'm not dead and that were just friends, you know where to find me," I replied.

"I think this should be goodbye," he said. His crying had stopped and I could hear the finality in his voice.

"If that's how you want it. Just know that I'm here if you ever need me," I sighed. I knew I should have severed the ties, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. He was my own personal sun in my darkest of days and if he needed me I would be there for him. Not the way he had been there for me, but if he needed someone to talk to, he could come to me.

"I'll try not to mope around Charlie," he replied.

"Thanks Jacob,"

"Yeah,"

"Bye," I sighed as I shut the phone. This was my official goodbye to Jake. I sat it down on the mattress and looked down at my hands. I couldn't help but thinking of how hot he would feel to my now cold skin. Edward then returned to the room and taking me in his arms I could no longer think of Jake. The moment our skin touched my thoughts were directed back to him-the one I was meant to be with.

"Are you ok love?" he asked after a few moments of silence.

"Yes,"

"How did you're conversation go?" he asked playing with a lock of my hair.

"Fine. I think he realizes that I'm still me. We've said our proper goodbyes though," I sighed. It hurt me to think that he would rather say goodbye to me forever than talk to me at all. Edward merely nodded his head to this and continued playing with my hair.

"Love,"

"Yes Edward?"

"I think we should start working with your power and exposing you to humans soon," he said taking my mind off Jake. I knew what he was doing and I was grateful.

"When should we start?" I asked.

"Well, in a month I think you should be ready to encounter them in small doses and at a distance," he replied.

"But how?" I asked.

"I'm not completely sure yet," he admitted.

"Just don't let me harm anyone," I shuttered.

"Never," he replied.

"What about my power?" I asked.

"Well, we can start on that now if you'd like,"

"Yes!" I exclaimed. Anything would be better than sitting around feeling sorry for Jacob.

"I'll go get Emmett," he chuckled as he got up from the mattress and walked down the hall. I was excited to see what my power really could do!

(A/N: First of all I'd like to apologize for the cliffhanger on the last chapter! I admit that was a little mean on my behalf. (Sorry LionsLamb) Next I'd like to thank all the reviewers! I love getting reviews. They give me the will to keep going! I know some of you don't like that I brought Jake back into the story, but I needed to give him a proper goodbye. Beating his ass and sending him on his way just didn't seem right. Now that things are semi-patched up between the two of them, will Jacob ever call Bella back, is this a goodbye?? How will Edward and Bella work to perfect her power? How will her first controlled contact with a human go? What's to come? As always please review! I love seeing what everyone has to say! I'm glad so many of you have commented. 115, that's really something!!)