Is Love Enough (ILE) – A Kish Drama
Chapter 35: Escaping the Past
Zach sits in the restaurant booth staring at the man in front of him. Suddenly he is that teenage boy again. Fear and anger race through his veins. The emotions paralyze his body. He cannot move or speak.
"No hello, for dear old step dad?" asks the man sitting across from him.
Zach simply wants to run, but again his body is motionless.
"Can't you talk, boy? I see nothing has changed in all these years. You're the same old sissy little kid, but I will give you a small ounce of credit. The new look is impressive. You're Mom would be so proud."
"Don't you talk about her," responds Zach in an angry whisper.
"What's that boy? I can barely hear you."
Zach closes his eyes. "This isn't real. This is simply a dream. I'll open my eyes and I'll be sitting in this booth by myself." Zach slowly opens his eyes.
The man is still sitting across from the Zach in the booth. A smile forms across the man's face. The smile is evil in nature and full of hate. "This isn't a dream. I've been looking forward to this little reunion. It's been way too long."
"I thought you were in jail."
The man shrugs his shoulders. "Good behavior on my part helped. Plus some prison overcrowding. I was a model prisoner."
"You killed three people. My entire family is gone because of you. How could anyone let you out to roam free?"
"I've changed, I was in a bad place then. I'm trying to turn things around."
"Whatever."
The man becomes angry. "Don't you dare disrespect me kid, I'm still your elder. I'm the only family you have left."
"I don't have any family. We're not related. I want nothing to do with you, ever."
"I get that. I mean I have a lot to make up for."
"Are you deaf? Get lost. I'm not sure what you're trying to pull here. I'm not interested."
"Same old smart ass kid. You're not going to get rid of me. I'm going to be a part of your life. You're all I have left."
"You're a sick son of a bitch. You have some nerve. You deserve to rot in hell for what you did." Zach becomes more and more agitated.
Rex exits the kitchen and looks over at the booth. He notes Zach's agitation and the new customer sitting across from Zach. His curiosity grows as he watches the two men.
Zach stands. "I'm out of here."
"Sit down, Zachery. I'm not finished with you yet."
Zach tries to act strong, but the images of his dead family begin to replay in his head. "I don't take orders from you."
Zach starts to walk, but the man grabs his arm. "Sit, down. I'm not messing around with you."
Zach uses all of his strength to wrestle his arm free. The images continue to flash in his head. A sharp pain shoots through his head. He falls to the floor as the pain continues to shoot through his head.
Rex runs to Zach's side.
The man in the booth simply smiles and lets out a small chuckle. "Oh, poor little Zach. What's wrong? I thought you were leaving. This image is quite familiar."
Rex bends down in front of Zach and grabs his arms. "Hey, man. You okay? What's going on?"
Zach tries to speak, but the pain feels like someone is driving nails through his head. He begins to shake as the pain intensifies even more.
Rex looks up at the man in the booth. "Do something. Don't just sit there?"
The man looks at Rex as if he could care less about Zach. "You work here? I need a beer. Go fetch."
"Hello. I think he needs our help."
The man sighs, stands up from the booth and pushes Rex out of the way.
Rex is startled by the sudden push. "Hey."
The man grabs the Zach by the shirt, lifts him and sits him back down in the booth. The man looks back at a still in shock Rex. "Can you get us some more water? Maybe a cool cloth or something?"
"Sure," says Rex getting to his feet. He heads into the kitchen to get the requested items.
The man sits across from Zach again in the booth and simply watches a trembling Zach. "Man up. I see you still like to have all the attention."
"Please. Go away. I don't want anything to do with you. I hate you with all my being," says a still trembling Zach.
"I came here for a beer, which I still don't have thanks to your theatrics."
Rex rushes back over with a glass of water and a wet cloth. He sits down by Zach and places the wet cloth in his forehead. "Here, drink some watery." Rex holds the glass out in front of Zach.
Zach reaches for the glass, but his hands are trembling too much to take hold.
"I've got it." Rex maintains hold of the glass and lifts it towards Zach's mouth. "Take your time."
"Where's Carol? I need a beer."
Rex looks at the man. "I run the place on the weekends. I have more important things to worry about right now besides your damn beer."
"Fine. I'm going to the restroom, but when I get back I want my damn beer on the table. Sissy boy's little spell will be over in no time. I'm totally used to them even after all these years." The man heads off towards the restroom.
Zach looks into Rex's eyes. "Please. Help me. Make him leave. He's a horrible person. Please."
"Pipe down man. Lets try to get more water inside of you."
Zach continues to shake, but begins to calm. He is finally able to get some of the water down thanks to Rex holding the glass.
"Do you want me to call an ambulance?" asks Rex.
"No. Please. I'm fine. I need that man to go away."
Rex looks towards the restrooms of the restaurant. He debates in his mind about what to do.
The man soon returns. "I see he's starting to get some color back. That's good. Can I have my beer now?"
As the man approaches Zach's panic returns and the shaking begins to intensify.
"I'm afraid we're closing up now."
The man looks perturbed. "It's the middle of the afternoon."
"I need to get him to a doctor."
"Oh please, trust me. This is all part of his act."
"I'm sorry, sir. I need to ask you to leave."
"You are f'ing kidding me. Right?"
Rex remains firm in his resolve. "Please, sir. I need you to go so I can lock up."
"Come on sissy boy. Let's go. I'll take your ass to the doctor myself for ruining my afternoon beer time."
Rex stands to face the man, noting Zach's fear at the man's words. "No. I've got this. Please go. I'll take care of him."
"Fine, but listen to me Zach and listen good. I'm going to make amends. We're going to resolve our issues. You can't escape me."
Zach looks away from his stepfather.
Rex stands, grabs the man's arm and leads him toward the door. "Sorry, sir. We're now officially closed."
"Let go of me punk. I'm capable of walking out of here on my own. I'll be sure to let Carol know of the crappy service."
"You do that. I think she'll understand when I explain the situation."
The man shakes his head. He opens the front door and turns to look at Zach back in the booth. He then looks at Rex. "Take some advice from me. Stay away from that one." The man's eyes look at Zach. "He's nothing, but trouble. Always has been and always will be."
Rex quickly pushes the man out the door. "Thanks for the warning. Have a good afternoon!" He closes and locks the door quickly. He hears a trembling voice from across the restaurant.
"Is he gone?"
Rex does not immediately answer. He looks back outside and watches the man get in a truck. The truck soon peels out of the parking lot.
As Rex watches the man leave, Zach stands. He holds onto the table to maintain his balance. His legs simply feel like dead weight.
"He's gone, " says Rex turning to see a standing Zach. Rex races over to his distressed customer. He grabs him by the arms. "You need to sit back down. You're in no shape to be standing."
Zach pulls out of Rex's grasp. "I have to get out of here, before he comes back. I can't go through this again."
Rex grabs his customer again. "Sit down, Zach. I'm not letting you leave here until I'm sure you're okay."
"How do you know my name?" asks a puzzled Zach.
"Your friend clued me in."
"That SOB is not my friend."
"No kidding. Now sit down."
Zach does not argue. He simply doesn't have the strength to get past Rex right now.
"Good. I'm going to get another wet cloth. Don't move one inch from that spot."
Zach looks up at Rex. "No worries. I can barely stand."
Rex exits to the kitchen.
Zach takes another drink of water. His hands still shake slightly, but he is able to get quite a bit of water down.
Brody brings the car to a stop at a gas station off of Interstate 70 around Booneville, Missouri.
As Brody brings the car to a stop, Kyle comes out of a deep sleep.
Kyle rubs his eyes. "I'm sorry, man. I didn't mean to fall asleep."
Brody grabs the door handle. "No worries. You needed some sleep. I'm going to fill the tank and then we can grab a bite to eat. Hang tight."
Brody gets out of the car and closes the door.
Kyle lets his eyes adjust to the light and takes stock of his surroundings. His body aches more than he ever thought was possible. Brody's front passenger car seat is no substitute for his Oliver's arms.
A few minutes later Brody enters the car. "Want anything special to eat?"
Kyle looks around. "It looks like we're in the fast food capital of the world."
Brody chuckles. "Good point. So what's the less evil in terms of our food choices?" Brody starts the car.
"Not sure really. Let's pick the closest. I really need to stretch my legs."
"Perfect," says Brody who shifts the car into gear and takes off. He drives the car across the street into the home of the golden arches.
Kyle laughs as Brody pulls into a parking space.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothin' man. I love this place on road trips. It's about the only time I ever eat here anymore."
"Wait until you have kids, man. I swear this is the only place Bree ever wants to go to."
Kyle exits the car and Brody follows suit. "Oh to be a kid again."
"Isn't it funny, how we all wish our childhood away. Before you even know it, it's over and you're an adult entering the big old world."
The two enter the restaurant and order their food. They soon are seated at a table near the window and begin enjoying their food.
"So where are we heading?"
Brody shrugs. "This is it for a while. We're right around where Zach made his last call. I hesitate to go much further until we get another update."
"What if he doesn't make anymore calls?"
"Something tells me he will. He's been fairly consistent on using the phone since leaving Llanview. It's like he is purposely leaving a trail."
"I wouldn't put it past him. He probably knew Oliver would take off after him."
"I'm sensing that you're not a huge Zach fan?"
Kyle takes another bite of his cheeseburger. "I'm not a big fan. He made a play for my man."
Brody jaw drops. "Zach? Really? I had no idea that he's gay."
"To be honest, I'm not even sure Zach knows who he is."
"He went after Fish, really?"
"Oh yeah. I cam home from work a few nights back and found him asleep in Oliver's arms."
"Ouch," says Brody grabbing a drink of soda.
"I let him have it. He denied any wrong doing at the time, but opened up to me about his feelings for Oliver later."
"Sorry, man. I really had no idea Zach was interested in Fish that way."
"I think Zach's a very private person. He doesn't let people in much from what I can see."
"Why, Oliver then?" asks Brody.
"Some weird connection thing after Oliver took that bullet for him. I haven't trusted him since I first met him."
The two sit in silence for a bit and continue to eat.
"You're not worried about Fish straying are you? I think Fish is completely Kyle whipped if you get my drift."
Kyle smiles at Brody's comments. "I know Oliver loves me. I know how much us bein' back together means to him, but between you and me Oliver's never been with another guy before. I often wonder if he's curious to see and try what else is out there. I guess I think it's a right of passage. I mean how many people settle down and completely stay committed to their first love?"
"I get what you're saying, but not Oliver. He's anything, but your typical guy."
"I know and that's part of the reason I love him so much, but that small fear still echoes in my head from time to time. I'm sorry. I'm sure ya' don't want to hear about all this."
"We're roomies and friends. I'm sure you will return the favor some day."
"Thanks, Brody. You're really cool for helpin' me with this. I owe you."
Brody stands and grabs his drink. "Anytime, man. More soda?"
"No thanks. I'm good."
"Okay. I'll be right back."
Brody heads towards the soda station for a refill.
Kyle stares out the window.
Back in Llanview, Layla enters Schuyler's hospital room. The room is empty, but she hears water running behind the closed bathroom door. She throws her purse down on the chair near the door. She walks over and sits on the bed facing the bathroom door.
Schuyler exits the bathroom and instantly sees Layla sitting on the bed. A smile forms on his face. "Hey."
Layla returns the smile. "Hey, yourself. I do say my eyes appear to be deceiving me. Is that really you Schuyler Joplin?"
"It is Ms. Williamson, in the flesh. Its good to see you." Schuyler approaches the bed.
Layla stands and opens her arms for her friend.
The two hug.
"It's so good to see you awake and out of bed. You had me scared to death," says Layla as they continue to hug.
"You were really that concerned? We barely know each other."
Layla breaks away from the hug and punches Schuyler in the upper chest with her fists. "Yes, I was concerned, silly. I can't believe you let yourself go and get beat into a coma."
"Ouch. I'm still a patient you know. No hitting. I'm off limits."
Layla gets serious. "I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? I wasn't thinking?"
Schuyler smiles at his friend. "I'm giving you a hard time. I appreciate you caring, Layla. Lewis said you've been at my bedside as much as you can." Schuyler returns to the bed getting under the covers.
Layla sits on the bed facing him. "I didn't want you to be alone." She brings his hand into hers.
Schuyler squeezes her hand. "Thanks, it mean a lot having you here and on my side."
"I'm glad I could be here. So when are you getting out?"
"Hopefully, tomorrow. They want to keep me one more day for observation."
"I'll be here when they spring you. I'll get you home and make sure your settled."
"That's really nice of you, friend. So, not to change the subject, but was it only because of me that your back in Llanview?"
Layla stands up and walks towards the window. "Yes and no."
Schuyler looks over at her. "What do you mean by that?"
"Maryland is not my home anymore. Yes, my Mom and Evangeline are there, but Llanview is my home. I like it here. I missed it. I started thinking how silly it was that I was running and hiding. So when I heard you were hurt, I decided to move back for good. I wanted to be at your side and I wanted to be an adult and face my problems head on."
"So are you and Cris back together?"
Layla turns to face Schuyler with her arms crossed. "No. That's not an option. I can't in good conscious be with him without Evangeline's approval. I know that may sound lame, but its how I feel."
"Do you really think your sister would care? I mean didn't they break up before the coma?"
"She may not, but I just can't. I'm on a guy moratorium for the time being. I'm going to focus on my career, my friendships and family."
"I'm happy for you, Layla. Really I am, but won't it be hard seeing Cris around all the time."
"Maybe, but I want to be in Llanview. I simply have to convince Cris to move on."
"He's not going to give up on a beautiful girl like you."
Layla blushes and returns to sitting at Schuyler's beside. "That's sweet of you to say, but I'm not really giving him a choice. I'll be his friend, but that's all I can offer."
"Fair enough," says Schuyler.
"So what about you?"
"Me what?"
"How are you doing? I know Gigi's death threw you for a loop."
"I miss her. I can't even put into words how much. I feel robbed. I mean we just got together. To have one magical moment together and then poof she's gone. It doesn't seem fair, but I'm still here. I want to get my life straightened out. I want to focus on my medical degree and go from there. I'm definitely not interested in any type of relationship for a while. I need time to heal. Boy I bet I really sound like a wimp."
Layla shakes her head in a no fashion. "Not at all. I like a guy who can discuss his feelings."
"I owe Kyle a huge thank you. I almost went off the wagon a few times. He was there to save me. It's funny really. We're not really that close, but he's been very protective since Gigi's death."
"Kyle's an awesome guy. There's a reason Oliver loves him so much."
"In the past I would argue with you about Kyle being a good guy, but not anymore. So, what do two career focused and relationship free friends do next?"
"Exactly that. Focus on work and our friends. I have an idea." Layla jumps up in excitement.
"What's that?"
"Let's make a pact. We'll keep each other in line. We both will look out for each other and if one of us begins to stray and lose focus we sweep in for the save."
Schuyler smiles. "I like that. So where are you staying?"
"I'm actually crashing at your place right now."
"Do you want to make that permanent?"
"Really?"
"Why not? Rachel moved to Seattle. I need someone to share expenses with. Is it too close for comfort? I mean its right across the hall from Cris."
Layla pauses before answering, pondering the possibilities. "You sure about this?"
"One hundred percent. It's perfect considering our new pact and all."
"It's a deal then." Layla approaches and holds out her hand for a shake.
Schuyler takes her hand and pulls her forward into an embrace. "You can do better than that."
"You're sneaky. I'm going to have to watch out for you, Mr. Joplin."
"You watch my back and I'll watch yours."
The two hug. They both are genuinely happy in their new decision.
The hug disbands.
Schuyler looks at Layla. "Can I ask a favor?"
"Sure, pal."
"I'm dying to hear the end of "Twilight". Care to read some more?"
"You heard that?"
"Between you and me. I think I may be man crushing on Edward a bit."
"Oh you wait my friend. When we get into the next few books, you may be torn between two man crushes."
"Can't wait. Oh and can I request a welcome home gift?"
"What's that?"
"Can we rent the movie when I come home?"
Layla laughs. She walks over to her purse and pulls out the "Twilight" book. She sits down beside Schuyler again on the bed. She opens the book and begins to read to her new roommate.
Schuyler leans back against the pillow, closes his eyes and listens to his friend's voice fill the room with sound.
Rex now sits across from Zach in the booth at the restaurant.
Zach drinks more water and is finally calming down.
"So what was that all about?" asks Rex.
"It's not important. Thanks for your help. You don't have to babysit me anymore. I'm fine. Go take care of your other customers."
Rex looks around. The restaurant is completely empty, except for him and his booth partner. "You're my only customer. So who was that guy?"
"Someone from the past."
"So we don't get many strangers in these parts. How did you end up here?"
"I'm not a stranger. I grew up here until I was fifteen."
"Oh, okay. Welcome home then."
"Thanks."
They sit in silence.
After a few minutes Rex can't stand the silence. "So that's it? Really? Who is he and why does he have such an effect on you?"
Zach stands. "It doesn't matter. I need to go. Thanks for everything. If that man frequents this place going forward I would watch my back. He's trouble and shouldn't be trusted."
Rex stands to block Zach's exit. "Why's that?"
"Sorry, man. I don't have time to explain. I have some calls to make. Time isn't on my side anymore. Especially not after my visitor today." Zach reaches into his pocket and grabs a twenty-dollar bill. "Here, take this. Thanks for the help today."
Rex holds his hands up in a no fashion. "Keep your money, man. You only had water."
"I'm not going to need money where I'm going."
Rex is instantly concerned by the comment from his only customer. 'What does that mean?"
Zach approaches Rex and stands right in front of him. "Hey. I thank you for all your hospitality and help today. Its nice to know that there are still some good people in the world, but I'm not your concern. You don't need to act like you care."
Zach's blue eyes suddenly distract Rex, but he manages to get some words out. "But, something is wrong. I can feel it. I'm not acting."
Zach takes the twenty and puts it in Rex's front jean pocket. "Thanks again. I really have to go."
Zach heads towards the exit and out of the restaurant.
Rex debates about what to do, but then decides he is going after his customer. He grabs some keys from the counter and heads towards the door. He looks out and sees Zach standing behind his car with the trunk open. He locks the restaurant door and heads toward Zach and the open trunk.
Zach peers down into the trunk of his car. Inside the trunk are two large gas containers. Zach lifts a blanket that sits next to the two gas cans. As he lifts the blanket he reaches for a gun that sits on the trunk floor. He lifts his shirt in the back and puts the gun in the crease of his back inside his jeans. As Zach places his shirt back in position he is startled by the appearance of Rex at his side.
Rex eyes the gas containers in the truck.
Zach catches Rex eyeing the contents of the trunk and slams it shut.
"What are those for?"
"Not important."
Zach heads towards the driver's side door.
Rex grabs his arm as he goes by.
"Let go of me, man."
"Something's not right with you."
"You know nothing about me."
"I can tell when someone's in trouble. Does this have to do with that guy from earlier?"
Zach jerks his arm out of Rex's grip. "Look. Mind your own business. I'm fine. Everything's fine. I'm handling things." Zach gets in the car.
Rex races to block the door from closing.
Zach gets angry. "Get out of the way. Don't you have a restaurant to run?"
"Forget the restaurant. You need someone right now. I'm right here. You don't have to go through whatever this is by yourself. Let me help."
Zach starts the car. "Its to late. Please forget you ever saw me."
"Look. Let's go inside and talk. I know sometimes that things seem out of control. Trust me. I've been there. I am there now."
For a brief second, Zach wishes he could trust this person standing in front of him, but life has proven time and time again that he can trust no one. He quickly pushes Rex out of the way, slams the door shut and peels away.
Rex falls to the ground, but manages to get the license plate number off the car as it speeds away.
"I can't believe I agreed to this."
"Isn't it great? See what's its like to actually put the pedal to the floor," responds Nick looking over at Oliver who is now in the passenger seat.
"Eyes on the road."
"You're such a prude."
"Again, you know nothing about me."
"Wrong again, Oliver."
"Whatever. Focus on the road."
Nick pushes on the accelerator even more.
Oliver takes in a deep breath and closes his eyes.
Nick smiles as he looks over and sees Oliver's reaction. "Everything okay?"
Oliver responds without opening his eyes. "Never better."
"Great! Try to get some sleep. I'll wake you in a few hours."
"No thanks. Someone needs to keep an eye on you and make sure you don't do anything really crazy."
"I'm not the crazy type, Oliver. You don't trust me?"
"Trust is not a word I think of when it comes to you."
"I guess we're even on that one then. I don't trust you either. Look. We share something in common."
Oliver coughs at Nick's words. "I think I threw up a little in my mouth."
"You know, for a cop you're a little over the top dramatic."
"Can we please ride in silence? You're voice is starting to sound like fingernails across a chalkboard. It's painful."
"Ha ha, Oliver. You're not my favorite person either. The only thing I find remotely admirable about you is the view you flashed me back in the hotel room. Its quite impressive, Oliver. I might even be a little jealous of Kyle now."
"Please stop talking. Can we forget that we ever had that little encounter? Its not one of my finest moments."
Nick laughs. "You should have listened to me about the bugs."
"Its not like you have the best track record when it comes to honesty."
"Point taken, but you've won Oliver. You have him now. I have no one."
"You'll meet someone, Nick. I'm a firm believer that there is someone out there for everyone, even someone like you."
Nick laughs again. "What kind of fairytale land do you live in? You need to start living in the real world for a while. I thought Kyle was the guy for me. After all my false starts, I finally thought I met the right one, but no. You sweep back in and take him away. I have the worst luck picking out the right guys. I'm not lucky in love, Oliver."
"What do you want me to say to that?"
"Nothing, Oliver. I'm trying to tell you that love doesn't come so easily for all of us.
You're very lucky to have what you have with Kyle."
"Don't you think I know that? I could kick myself for all the time I wasted. I'm beyond thankful to have him in my life. He completes me. I do hope you find that someday, Nick. There is a small part of me that feels bad for you."
"How kind of you, Oliver," says Nick in a sarcastic tone.
Oliver looks over at Nick. "Then you go and open your mouth. Your voice just irritates the crap out of me."
"Again, we're even. I can't stand you're voice either. I like your earlier suggestion. Let's ride in silence."
"Deal."
Silence fills the car.
"Can I ask you something," asks Nick a few minutes later.
"I guess."
"Why don't you like me?"
Oliver sighs. "Its not you per se Nick that I don't like. I don't like your tactics, that's all."
"Kyle hurt me. Am I not allowed some grace period to figure out how to deal with what happened?"
"Sure, but being hurt doesn't give you the right to manipulate and hurt people in return."
"I guess. I kind of think that's a normal human thing today, but the perfect Oliver I guess would never stoop to such levels."
"I'm not perfect. I think someone who keeps claiming to know me so well would have figured that out by now."
"So, not to get to serious or anything, but for Kyle's sake do you think we could be friends someday?"
Oliver looks over at Nick. He is pleasantly surprised that Nick seems to be making an effort, but can his car partner be trusted. If the past is any indication the answer to that question is a big no. "Never say never, but my ability to trust you is non-existent."
Nick shakes his head in understanding. "I wonder if I can ever get past you being the guy that took him away from me?"
"I'm not sure you ever really had him."
"Damn, Oliver. Take the knife and twist it all around. You have Kyle now, I don't. You don't have to rub it in."
Oliver sighs and rolls his eyes. "Sorry. You scare me though in a way. Or maybe I'm jealous of you in a way."
"Jealous and scared of me? What for?"
"Because you are who you are. I mean you're confident in yourself. You're an out and proud gay man. You don't care what others think. You are who you are. Don't you think I know that's what attracted Kyle to you in the first place? You're everything I'm not. It scares the crap out of me that Kyle will want that back. I mean I don't see myself ever being as open as you are. I wonder if Kyle can look past that?"
"I guess this is where the Nick of recent times would take that knowledge and try to use it to his advantage," responds Nick.
"Probably, if the past is any indication."
"Look, I'll let you in on a secret. Yes from the outside I look confident and in control. I do know who I am and I'm proud of it, but that outside persona simply hides the uncertainty that channels inside. I struggle with being alone and finding the right guy. I have a tendency to latch on the wrong ones all the time. On some level I always knew Kyle was not over you, but I continued to push the thoughts out of my mind. Look where it got me. Alone again."
Oliver doesn't really know how to respond. Nick acting human is not something he is used to. "I'm not sure what to say."
"You don't have to say anything, Oliver. Look, you have Kyle's heart. You always have. You're in his soul. No one can compete with that, not even me as much as I would love for Kyle to come running back to me."
Suddenly they hear sirens from behind.
"Shit," says Nick.
"I told you this would happen."
"Shut up, Oliver."
Oliver simply smiles and laughs as Nick pulls over to the shoulder of the interstate.
Zach is now on the outskirts of Deepwater proper. He is traveling west away from town on a gravel road. Gravel dust is flying behind him as he speeds towards his destination.
A few minutes later Zach slows down as he approaches what used to be the driveway he so frequently traveled on to get to the main road to catch the school bus.
The driveway, or what's left of it, is overgrown with weeds, but amazingly you can still see where the previous driveway tracks are. Plus the old, and now extremely rusted, mailbox still stands on the left side of the drive.
Zach slows the car as he approaches the turn off. He pulls over, stops the car and looks down the drive. In the distance he sees the house that he used to call home. He sighs to himself. He can't believe he is back here. He vowed never to return to this town or this house, but he simply can't escape what happened here in the past.
He turns the car and begins to head down the short drive. His car runs down the weeds with relative ease. He brings the car to a stop about three feet in front of what used to be the front porch. The roof of the porch is now gone. He looks over and sees the roof to the side of the porch on the ground. The old swing rests beside the former roof. Yellow crime tape still surrounds the house.
Zach steps out of the car and heads back to the trunk. He opens the trunk and grabs the two gas containers. He walks towards the entrance of the house. He does not even bother to close the trunk of the car. He carefully maneuvers himself across the old porch floor and walks through where the front door used to be. He wonders what happened to the door. He looks around, but the door is nowhere in sight. He is amazed that the furniture and contents remains in place just where they were when those fateful events occurred that night so long ago. Of course the items are now dirty, dusty and worn thanks to the elements of the outside since the roof of the old house is now practically gone. He walks into the front room or what used to be his childhood living room. He sits the gas containers down and walks towards the old kitchen. The kitchen is directly behind the living area. He hesitates before entering the kitchen area. He recalls the last vision he had of this room. He closes his eyes in obvious pain. He misses his Mom more than anything. Life is simply not fair. How could such an evil, like his stepfather, exist in the world? What did his Mom or his sister or his brother to deserve such evil in their lives?
A few minutes later he continues his journey through the remainder of the old ranch house. He also visits the rooms where his brother and sister were so violently taken from him.
A few minutes later, he returns to the living room and grabs the two gas containers. He carries the containers into what used to be his childhood bedroom. The room is exactly as he remembers, except for the cobwebs and dirt additions. Suddenly a raccoon runs across the floor of the room. Zach jumps from the sudden movement.
He shakes the panic off and grabs one of the gas containers. He pours the contents throughout the house. He visits the other bedrooms, the living room and kitchen before returning to his room. He leaves the first empty container in the living room. He pours the remaining container's contents around the edges of his childhood room. He then throws the empty container to the ground. He walks over to a small alcove of space in front of the east window of his room. He recalls sitting in this alcove as a kid pondering his family's escape form the horrors of their existence. Sadly, he had failed at making the escape a reality.
He sits down in the alcove again. He crosses his legs and faces the window, The only difference between now and the past is that he does not need a stool to prop himself up to see outside the window. Prior to sitting down he grabs a lighter from his front pocket and grabs the gun from his back. He also grabs his cell phone from his other front pocket. He lays all three items down in front of him on the floor. He buries his face in his hands. He feels more alone than ever. He simply sits on the dirty floor in complete stillness staring at the items in front of him.
He reaches for the cell phone. He dials Nick's number, but there is no answer. He soon gets Nick's voicemail. "Hey, Nick. It's me. Zach. I wanted to call one more time and say that I'm sorry for being such an ass and so difficult over the last few months. I think you're a good guy. You deserve so much better than me. I don't even know who or what I am. I've spent my whole life trying to figure that out, but none of that matters anymore. I hope you find someone to love you like you deserve. Have faith my friend. It will happen. Again, I'm sorry for any issues I caused you. I know I'm not the easiest person to get along with. I'm not sure what else to say. Goodbye." Zach sits in silence and does not disconnect the phone. A few minutes later he closes the phone. He lays it on the floor and buries his face in his hands again.
Oliver enters his thoughts. He has strong feelings for his geeky, but genuine co-worker. He wishes things could be different. He wishes that they had met in a different lifetime or something. He would give anything to be someone else, someone without all the baggage. He would die to be Kyle for even a split second. All he needs is a few seconds to feel what it is like to have someone like Oliver love him in return. However, the time for what ifs is in the past. His path is clear now.
He picks up the phone again and dials another number.
"Hello," says a voice on the other end.
"Oliver?"
"Zach, is that you?"
"It's me, Oliver."
"Where are you? Are you okay? We're worried about you, pal."
Zach hears the words and if his fate wasn't already sealed the words may actually have made an impact. "That's nice, Oliver. I'm fine. I was just calling to hear your voice one more time. You've been very understanding and supportive with me. I appreciate that."
"That's what friends do, Zach."
"You don't need a friend like me."
"I think that's for me to decide, Zach. Please tell me what's going on with you."
"I can't. I'm sorry."
Zach is so lost in the phone conversation and hearing Oliver's voice that he does not here another vehicle pull up outside.
"I need to go, Oliver."
"Zach, please. Wait. Let's talk. Nick and I are on our way to you now. We should be there in a little while. Nick got a ticket and is still driving like a bat out of hell. We can talk through anything. We're here for you. Nick is in complete agreement with me."
Zach chuckles. "At least I could bring you and Nick together so to speak."
"I guess. He's still a pain in the ass. So, what's going on?"
"Nothing, Oliver. Everything is fine. I have to go. It's great hearing your voice again." Zach snaps the phone shut. He throws the phone across the room against the wall. It shatters into multiple pieces.
A tear forms and falls down Zach's cheek. He thinks about how ironic life is. He may actually have some real friends for a change, but sadly it's to late. He reaches for the lighter and lights it with his left hand. He grabs the gun with his right hand. He places the gun to the side of his head and pointes the burning lighter towards the gas on the nearby floor.
"Zach, stop," says a voice from behind him.
Zach does not turn to face his visitor. "Go away, Rex. How did you find me? You should really mind your own business." Zach lays the lighter and gun back on the floor.
"Look, I don't know what's going on with you, but this entire scene doesn't look right. I know what happened here. Don't let that guy win, man."
"He already has. He won some eleven years ago when he took everything away from me. Nothing has been right since. Nothing."
"Ok, fine. But this isn't the answer. Let me help you get some help. Please."
"There is no help for me now. Please go away."
"I'm not going away until you get up and leave with me."
"No. I'm not leaving. It's fitting that I'm back where all my pain and heartache started."
"Would your Mom, your sister or your brother want this for you?"
"Don't talk about them. You know nothing about them."
"True, but I can't imagine they would want this for you."
"Look. I'm grateful you were there to help me earlier, but I'm fine now. I'm not your problem."
"Talk to me then, Zach. Help me understand what's going on here. I don't understand why you would want to do this."
"Why not? Life isn't fair."
"Hey, you're not telling me anything I don't already know. I lost the love of my life a while back. I ran from home and haven't been back since. I'm letting so many people down back there."
"Then you should understand this. I can't live with this pain anymore. That man this afternoon. Do you know who that was? He's the person that took everything from me. The stupid legal system couldn't even keep him locked up. I'll never have any peace as long as he's around. He has some sick need to make amends. I can't ever give him that. Not ever."
"You don't have to. He did a bad thing. You have the power of choice. You can choose to not let him back in."
"You don't know him. It's his way or the highway. He won't give up. Not until he gets what he wants. I can't escape him."
"You're not giving yourself enough credit, Zach. You were young and a kid back then. Look at you now. You can deal with him. Your stronger than you give yourself credit for."
"Right. You don't know anything about me. I might be tough looking on the outside, but that man scares the crap out of me."
Rex approaches Zach. He places his hand on Zach's shoulder.
"Don't touch me, man. Please go away. I need to be by myself."
Rex bends down and turns Zach around.
Zach now faces Rex, but he can't bring himself to look into Rex's face. "Please, stop. I don't want this. I don't want help. I don't want anything from you or anyone."
"You don't have to be alone."
"Whatever. You don't know a thing. Being alone is all I know."
Rex releases hold of Zach and sits down in front of him. "I'm not leaving here, until you walk out of here with me."
"I'm not leaving."
Rex shrugs his shoulders. "Fine. We'll sit here staring at each other for as long as it takes."
"Whatever. You're not going to stop me from seeing this through. I've made my decision."
"Fine. Maybe we both need to die here today."
"No. I don't want that responsibility. Please, Rex. I appreciate what you're trying to do, bit its too late."
"I'm not giving you a choice, Zach. We are walking out of here together."
The two simply sit in silence. This goes on for the next half hour.
Finally Zach speaks. "Are you really going to sit here and just watch me?"
"That's what I said," responds a defiant Rex.
"I'm getting angry Rex. Get out of here or I'm going to drag you out."
"Try it. I dare you."
Rex stands and holds his hand out to Zach. "Come on, let's go. I'll make you some dinner. And you can stay with me tonight. Let me help you. I'm here for you."
"Why would you do that?"
"This may sound a little selfish, but it keeps me from having to face my own demons for a while longer."
"I won't be anyone's pity party."
"Take my hand, Zach. Get over yourself. You're not the only one that's been dealt a bad blow in life. It happens."
"Shut up, Rex. I don't want your help. Get lost. Leave me be."
Rex glares at Zach. "Not an option, man. Take my hand now. I'm getting you out of here."
Zach is reluctant, but does finally take Rex's hand.
Suddenly, they hear another car pull up outside.
Rex looks out the front window. "Shit."
"What? Who is it? Is it him?" asks Zach.
"No, sorry man. It's my past catching up with me. I didn't run far enough."
Zach looks out the window. "You know Kyle and Brody?"
"I'm from Llanview. Kyle's my mom's best friend."
As Kyle and Brody approach the house, Rex panics. "Can we sneak out the back? I can't let them see me."
"No."
"Zach. You don't understand. I can't see them right now."
"Well you don't have to. Go. You don't owe me anything."
"Zach, please. Don't argue with me. Let's go. Come on."
"No. I should have known I couldn't trust you. Damn, once a sap always a sap. I'll never learn."
"It's not like that. I can't see Kyle right now. That's all. It doesn't change my promise to you."
Zach releases Rex's hand. "Go. Get out. Leave me the hell alone."
"Please, Zach. Come with me."
"Zach. It's Kyle and Brody. You in here?" yells Kyle from the front room.
"I'm sorry, I have to go." Rex races out of the room, down the hall and out the back room window.
Zach returns to the floor facing the window again. He grabs the lighter and gun again preparing to see his plan through.
Kyle enters the bedroom a few minutes later, followed by Brody.
Kyle is shocked by what he sees. "Oh, Zach. Please tell me this isn't what it looks like."
"Go away, Kyle. I'm trying to fix it so you never have to see me again."
"Zach, no. Not like this. Nothing can be that bad."
"You don't know how hard it is for me."
"Please, Zach. Put down the gun and lighter. We can help you," says Brody trying to assist Kyle.
"No Brody. No one can help me. I'm so tired. I'm so tired of being who I am. You have no idea."
Kyle motions for Brody to keep Zach talking. He begins to move towards Zach.
"Please Zach. You're part of the Llanview police family now. You're not alone."
"Whatever, Brody. No one will miss me. I'm done with all this."
Outside Oliver and Nick arrive. They jump out of the car and run towards the house.
Kyle lunges for Zach just as the lighter ignites the gas soaked wood and a gun shot rings out.
Chapter 36 Preview
A heartfelt reunion takes place.
Nick feels left out again.
Rex feels guilty and makes a wrong turn.
A tearful goodbye takes place.