That's it. You've officially lost it. Next chance I get, I'm going to Konoha and personally checking you for any abnormal brain activity or some mental illness your shrink hasn't found out about yet.
Expect me within the week, crazy.
~Marionette
What a hypocrite he was, calling her crazy when all his marbles weren't exactly in the jar themselves. She sighed a bit at the mention of her shrink, as she was about to walk into her appointment when she got the message. She didn't know why Ibiki kept insisting on her meeting with Inoichi every week. over a year of sessions had given her not even the slightest help with her problem.
They believed her story about the man in the civilian village and did their own investigating some time ago. Sasori had done a quick job of finding her "predator" and implementing fake memories in the small, unsuspecting population that lived there.
The investigators found no reason to believe anything other than her story, so her account went by without another question. Since then, she'd been treated for PTSD due to that incident and the death of her parents. Ibiki forbid her from receiving any medical prescriptions, understandably, which left her with four other options they tried: Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Therapy, Group Therapy, and brief Psychodynamic Psychotherapy.
"Good afternoon, Sakura," Inoichi greeted. "Go on and have a seat, then we'll get started." He pulled out his clipboard and her file, flipping to the back towards her session notes. "I heard you passed your genin test a couple of days ago. Good job. Why don't you tell me about it?"
EMDR had Sakura focus on other stimuli as Inoichi got her to talk about the bare minimum of her trauma, but it only led to her reliving some of the memories by having the stimuli somehow connect to what she was trying to forget. It was still a process in the works, so it was no surprise that it didn't work.
"There's not much to say. Naruto and Sasuke are my teammates like I thought and they were really excited when we met our sensei for the first time. He's Hatake Kakashi and Anko-san keeps telling me that he needs friends. And frankly, I agree."
Inoichi's lips quirked up.
"I asked about him. Rumors say he was taken out of ANBU just to teach us," she continued. "Apparently, the reasons aren't clear why, but I have my own assumptions. He trains as hard as I expected and Sasuke and Naruto are having a hard time keeping up. I mean, it's only our second day training so I'll wait a little longer before making suggestions."
Next they tried Cognitive Therapy. He tried to get the girl to open up and talk about how she felt about the trauma and its aftermath, but her vague descriptions and unwillingness to delve into detail hardly left him much to work with. He wanted to help her cope with her anger, fear, and guilt, but anytime he mentioned them, it only seemed to take root even deeper.
"Are you sure that's a good idea? I doubt he'd take counsel from his student."
She huffed. "Kakashi will take it if he knows what's good for him."
"Kakashi? He lets you call him that?" he chuckled. "I met him a few times myself, and I don't think he appreciates that."
Following that attempt, they leapt into Group Therapy. She was the youngest in those meetings with five other PTSD sufferers and kept a tight lip whenever she was asked to speak up. She told him once that she wasn't grateful for the pitying glances the other attendees sent her. Just because she was young didn't mean she needed them to feel sorry for her. After two sessions, Inoichi pulled her out of the group and tried something else.
"He doesn't. Come on, Yamanaka-san. Keep up. I disrespect with a purpose... except for this one, which I did because it's fun."
Inoichi shook his head in amusement as he wrote a few things down. Fifteen minutes had gone by with small talk about what happened the past week. There was nothing notable besides the fact that she graduated two years ahead of the norm. They both knew they couldn't keep this small talk going on forever with the reason for these weekly visits bubbling under the surface.
The last attempt he tried was brief Psychodynamic Psychotherapy. He tried, once more, to help her deal with the emotional conflicts she fought through every day of her life. He tried to make her aware of the emotions she had unhealthily learned to live with the past five years. He tried to raise her self-esteem to help her into that happy ten year old girl she was supposed to be. But, he failed. Like with all his other attempts.
So they went to the fifth therapy style he hoped he wouldn't have to use.
"Sakura, you and I both recognize that therapy has done little to nothing for you. I accept the fact that you won't talk about it. It's personal. I understand. But, you can't keep this bottled up forever no matter how much you think you can. If you keep it in too long, you may respond to a stimulus in an unintended way."
He didn't need to elaborate for them both to think to her panic attack two years ago. Sakura rubbed her neck, saying nothing.
"We'll try a different approach: exposure therapy. Do you know what that does?" he asked.
Exposure therapy dealt with primarily anxiety disorders; fears, more often than not. It would gradually diminish them by subjecting her to what she was afraid of. Be it desensitization or flooding, she would learn to overcome the fear with time and repetitive action.
She stared at him, unblinkingly. "You want me to be near Uchiha-san."
"Something along the lines of that. Obito-san has agreed to come to these sessions starting next week and will be sitting on that sofa in the corner." Inoichi pointed to the cushions on the far right. "He'll gradually move closer and closer to you until he's sitting right beside you. We'll see where we go from there. Okay?"
Sakura slowly nodded, eyes half lidded and pointed towards the wall. Thirty minutes left. It was enough time to ready herself for the weeks to come if Obito was going to be sat in the room from now on. She wouldn't allow herself to lose her calm when he came.
She wouldn't.
::
"Are you actually laying there and doing nothing?" Ibiki mused. "Huh. I never thought I'd see the day where you chose to stay inside instead of doing something you're not supposed to. What's the occasion?"
Sakura moved the couch pillow from her face and fixed him with a groggy glare. "Why's it so hard to believe that I'm capable of taking breaks?"
"Because you don't."
"Oh, great explanation, old man. I never knew you were a master of reasoning," she drawled. Ibiki picked up another pillow at the end of the couch and tossed it at her face and taking its place. There was a comfortable silence between the both of them for a little while before Sakura lifted her head to peer at him. "But you're right, I don't take breaks. I'm actually thinking about a few things."
"And the world gives a collective gasp of fear."
She glared again. "Anyway, I was thinking about why our team was assigned the way it was. I know the three of us are best friends and those two listen to what I say, but... there's no dynamic, you know? Naruto and Sasuke are always bickering- in a good way, of course, but sometimes I feel like them being rivals and friends isn't going to be fine when we're older. I guess Hokage-sama sees me as a mediator, but I won't be around forever."
Ibiki crossed his arms and leaned back. That was something he never heard before, let alone considered. Sakura might try to hide it as hard as she could, but she was prone to worry even over the most insignificant of things. He didn't know why she'd concern herself with the details.
"What brought this on?" he questioned. The girl rubbed at her eyes, showing the dark bags she went through great means to conceal from others aside from himself. It was actually the seventh month of her living in the house when Ibiki first saw the dutiful concealers and chakra replenishing pills (which he confiscated) she kept in the bathroom. Recently, he'd been getting her to try natural sleep remedies to help.
She shrugged. "We're best friends, not a team. When we finally get out into the field, do you know how many problems that'll cause? Emotions get in the way and things aren't done in the most effective way because of it. Naruto and Sasuke don't know what it's like out there."
He looked at her. "And you do?"
"Better than them."
A brazen assertion, but he couldn't find himself disagreeing with her. He'd known her long enough to understand there was a wisdom beneath her snark and skill. She knew more than she let on and lived through enough to make such a statement. But he knew where she was going with this and he didn't like it one bit.
"I want you to remember that it's alright to take care of yourself before taking care of others."
She gave another shrug and placed the pillow back onto her face. Still, he could hear her bitter undertone and see that guilty smile that paired up nicely with her reply. "Well..."
"Sakura."
"Kidding. I won't put my life on the line once we start taking field missions. Promise."
Ibiki didn't believe her.
::
"Fifteen more laps."
Naruto, quickly forgetting about the hellfire that curled around his muscles and the buckets of sweat seeping out of every pore in his body, jerked his head at the toned figure watching their progress from the shadows. His legs trembled in exhaustion.
"We... We just... thirty around Konoha..."
"Did I stutter?" Kakashi questioned coolly. "I said fifteen more. Or, I'll have you meditate in 10°C (50°F) water for an hour. Do you want a repeat of what happened last time?"
Last time, Naruto had gotten so tired that he lost consciousness in the middle of the lake. If Sakura hadn't been there to fish him out and make sure water hadn't gotten into his lungs, he would've drowned.
The boy shook his head and forced himself to run another lap. Sasuke wasn't too far behind him and heard the threat his sensei had given, so he merely swallowed his pride and focused on how to keep running without collapsing. Kakashi watched the both of them slowly round the village's walls as he crossed his arms.
Their obedience nearly made up for the insolence of the third one.
"Kakashi, are you trying to get them to hate you? Because it's hard for them to hold a grudge even with your sadistic tendencies."
He withheld a sigh. Nearly.
Sakura slowed to a leisurely stride as she completed her twentieth lap. She had kept a lagging pace behind the other two and hardly looked as drained as her teammates, confirming his assumption that she went as fast as she did for their sake. If he had to make a guess, it would be that she was unfazed with his stamina training because she had something similar done to her before.
"You have fifteen more laps to complete. I suggest you see to it without your normal brand of unnecessary remarks," he said. Of course, she paid no mind to his direction and stretched an arm over her head.
"I know you're trying to mold us into top-notch shinobi, but you shouldn't run them ragged every day. It's Monday. We graduated six days ago."
He didn't look at her. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction that he was actually taking that into deliberation.
"The sooner you learn your lessons, the better off you'll be in the future," he settled on. She gave a lengthy sigh and poked his flak jacket.
"We graduated six days ago," she repeated. "Even if you wanted us to take the upcoming chuunin exams, it's four months away. I don't think we'll be able to compete if most of the team dies of fatigue the first week of training."
Kakashi crossed his arms. "Spit it out."
"I want you to understand what you're doing to Sasuke and Naruto. Sure, you're doing this to assess your team and gauge their strengths and weaknesses, but you won't be able to get good results if they don't get time to adjust and recuperate. You've got us training thirteen hours straight with a five minute break here and there and a thirty minute lunch. It's not exactly healthy, you know."
Along with the insolence came a degree of knowing he certainly didn't want or ask for. Annoyingly enough, whatever she seemed to say never seemed to be on unfounded ground. There was always evidence to back her claims, even with that smile he was completely sure was used to make fun of him.
Yet his pride wouldn't let his gaze drop to her no matter how right she was.
"Continue with your laps, Sakura," he ordered. She grinned and mock saluted him before jogging to catch up with her boys. Kakashi watched her go blankly, idly wondering how such insight could be crammed in an impudent ten year old girl.
He waited two more hours until the three of them finished running. Sakura emerged from the exercise with a slight sheen of sweat dampening her clothes. Sasuke leaned against a tree to take gulps of ragged breaths and to try to keep himself from falling onto the ground. Though Naruto was more conspicuous of his tiredness and promptly crumpled on the soft grass with a soft thud.
He didn't get up.
"N-Naruto...?" Sasuke mumbled. He too slid to the ground, chin dropping against his chest as he succumbed to sleep. Sakura gestured to them.
"See? What did I tell you?"
Without waiting for a reply, she made two clones and had them each hoist a boy against their back with the clones' hands holding them up by their thighs and draping the sweaty arms over red cloth shoulders to keep them in place. Kakashi didn't bat an eye.
"So," the real Sakura started. "Are we meeting at six in the morning like usual? I'll try to get them to the grounds on time if we are."
The man shook his head. "No... Seeing the state these two are in, I doubt they'll be able to be in optimal condition for what I have planned. Training will continue on Wednesday," he said. Sakura waved her clones to send her boys home as she leaned forward a bit, a wide grin crawling onto her face.
"Kakashi, are you giving us the day off?"
"I said no such thing."
"Aw, you listened to my advice!"
"I didn't."
His denial didn't stop her from sliding up beside him and nudging his side. He frowned at her friendly demeanor.
"Don't get all shy on me, Kakashi. We both know what this means," she grinned. Kakashi raised an eyebrow despite himself, making Sakura grin wider. "It means you're starting to like me!"
He blinked once before snorting at the ridiculous comment. There was no way he'd ever stoop low enough to start enjoying a brat's company. Black eyes eventually slid to her smiling face and narrowed slightly. She was stronger and far more skilled than her counterparts, but that didn't make any sense. She would've already made a name for herself much like he did at a young age.
It was either she learned everything on her own, or she was being kept under wraps by other shinobi. It didn't matter which it was, it just meant he couldn't underestimate her. Not when she acted like she could see through his intentions.
"Instead of insisting on lies, perhaps you should take the day to catch up on your sleep."
Her smile turned a little less genuine. "Sleep?"
"The sweat moved some of the concealer from under your eyes," he informed quietly. "Have you worried about those two so much that you forgot to worry about yourself?"
Surprisingly, her reaction was something he didn't expect. Sakura's shoulders dropped as she put both hands up in weary defeat. "Okay. You caught me. I'm a certified mother hen. Arrest me. But don't put me in the T&I cells. I know they're nasty as hell."
Kakashi felt he found another aspect of her. She was selfless, yes, and tried to hide it under humor to mask how bad it really was. He searched her gaze and saw how the green- that had been jovial a minute ago—had iced over into a controlled smoothness.
"Is that the reason for your presumably unusual sleep schedule?"
She gave a noncommittal shrug. "Don't worry about it, Kakashi. I've already got an old man at my back who nags me all the time," she sighed. She rested her hands behind her head and slowly strolled off the grounds. "See you around—oh, and don't do anything I wouldn't do!"
He waited until she was gone before letting out a tired sigh and running a hand through his silver hair.
Him. A sensei.
If this wasn't the worst decision ever made, he didn't know what was.
::
EDITED 2/5/18