The bandicoot,
Who is severely injured,
Must rely heavily
On his fellow companions.
These companions consist of
A greatly incompetent scientist,
A distinguished master of time,
A goth girl with admirable strength,
A cyborg with a strong German flair,
And an easygoing southern possum.
What heroic qualities do they have?
How will they act during times of danger?
Are they capable of surviving...on their own?
Chapter 35: Dance or Die
Azalea, happy and cheerful as she always is, was skipping down the hallways when she was confronted by Keyon.
"I seriously need your help, mon," he told the Hispanic brunette.
"What seems to be the problem?" asked Azalea.
"You see, I have this crush, and I..."
"Well why are you telling me this, silly! You know Mindy handles that kind of stuff!"
"When I told her about my crush, she just shook her head in disapproval. That is why I need your help."
"Alright then, who is your crush?"
"...Zola Meadowood."
"Zola, eh? How very convenient..." Azalea thought to herself as she rubbed her hands for some weird reason.
Back at the Eubeleus Badlands, Mordecai began to question Clark's leadership skills. He shared his sentiments with Effam - who had Pasadena and Nina hunched over her back - while they returned to the sacrifice site.
"Wwwhat do yyyou mmmmmmean?" questioned Effam.
"Think about it; he's all pompous and self-absorbed, especially when he speaks of The One Who Strolls The Fields," Mordecai backed his claim. "Sometimes it's quite annoying..."
"Wwweell wwwwwhat arrre yooouuu goiiing tooooo doooo about it?"
"We are going to sacrifice him during the sacrifice, when he least expects it!"
"So why did you run away?" Cortex conversed with Elijah and Amber - the brother and sister who ran away from the Carrot Offspring - as he, Tropy, Von Clutch, and Uka made their way through the carrot fields of the Eubeleus Badlands. Turns out that the siblings were captured by the cultists, and were forced to dye their skin ivory and their hair brown so they could "fit in", so to speak.
"Our father had passed away, and our mother was trying to make ends meet," explained Elijah.
"At one point we were really depressed, so we ultimately decided to run away from home, as soon as we moved to Chinatown," added Amber.
"How is your mom, is she beautiful?" asked Uka, for some reason.
"I guess so..."
"Why would you need to know, you're a freaking mask!" stated Tropy.
"So because I'm a floating mask, I can't ask if people are good looking or not?!"
"It's kinda weird that you're asking these children here about their mother," Von Clutch joined in on the conversation.
A bunch of Carrot Monster stopped the group in their tracks, prompting Cortex to pull out his hunting rifle.
"Come to daddy!" he snarled as he hunted down the Gloombreed.
"Does he realize that those things will eventually eat him?" questioned Elijah.
"Eh, what's the point of stopping him?" shrugged Tropy. "It's not like he's any value to us or anything."
"Don't think I heard that Tropy!" Cortex shouted from afar. "I'm taking ten dollars off your salary!"
"That's it? You're pathetic..."
We now take you to Fake Crash and Crunch, who were busy playing video games in Crash's room of the hospital. Don't ask me how they managed to bring a gaming system inside the establishment.
"Is that my Xbox?" Crash questioned the two.
"Perhaps," shrugged Crunch. Crash tried to get up to give his brother a piece of his mind, but was in too much pain to do so.
"You shouldn't push yourself," Zoey advised Crash as she checked his spinal cord. "Even though you're a hero of fate and all."
"How much longer until I'm feeling healed?" asked Crash.
"You should be ready to go around evening time...which means I can go on that date with Cortex."
"She's definitely using that guy," Fake Crash whispered to Crunch in regards to Cortex.
"Cortex ugly, what does that woman find in him?" Crunch questioned.
In the hallways of the hospital, Coco, Yaya, and Aku spent their time searching for Isabel, who was still searching for the Excalibur sword. The three encountered the girl in a patient room, which had an elderly patient.
"My, my, Edith, what nice teeth you have there," remarked the blind patient, mistaking Isabel for his wife, as the girl was all up on the man looking for the sword.
"Yeah yeah yeah, keep your mouth shut," Isabel said to the patient.
"What on earth are you doing?" Aku scolded Isabel.
"Looking for the sword...why are you concerned about what I'm doing? You're not my father."
"Aku may not be your father or anything, but think about what you're doing," Coco intervened. "Just look at this poor patient!"
"It's okay, I don't mind this at all," assured the patient. "Edith knows exactly what she's doing; she does this on a daily basis, nothing to be concerned about."
"...What Coco is trying to say is, you are putting your own ambitions and wants over others," explained Yaya.
"And that's a bad thing?" frowned Isabel. "Can't you all just let me be?"
"You tell 'em Edith!" cheered the patient.
"Oh, shut up, old man!"
"That's no way to talk to your husband like that..."
"I SAID SHUT UP!"
The patient kept his mouth shut.
"See what we mean?" said Yaya.
"I...I can't take this anymore...I'm done," Isabel left the room, frustrated as ever.
"Edith don't leave me!" the patient called after Isabel, before turning to Coco. "Is that my ex-wife Helga?"
"Oy..." Coco facepalmed.
Mordecai and Effam brought an unconscious Nina and Pasadena to Clark, who was accompanied by Zola and the Magic Mirror.
"Here's the trespassers that Effam planned to use for the sacrifice," Mordecai showed Clark the two ladies.
"Excellent work, you two," commended Clark, as he gave Nina and Pasadena to Zola. "Hang these two on the scarecrow sticks; and make sure Xavier poisons them both."
"Gotcha," Zola accepted her duty, and walked off with the two heroes.
"When we gonna do the sacrifice?" asked the Magic Mirror.
"Eight o'clock sharp," replied Clark.
"We need to talk," Mordecai said to Clark.
"Yes?"
"There is something that I need to get off my chest...you're not a really great leader."
"Naw he did not just say that!" exclaimed the Magic Mirror as Clark looked at his second-in-command in utter disbelief.
"You wish to say that again?!" seethed Clark.
"What's the matter, can't take a joke?" Mordecai played around with Clark, putting him in a headlock and whatnot.
"Just making sure," Clark dusted himself off and fixed his hat once Mordecai was done. "Go check on the Offspring."
"Band's here?" the Magic Mirror perked up.
"The Carrot Offspring."
"Awwww..."
"As you wish," Mordecai departed, knowing what must be done that night. "Clark must go..." he thought to himself.
Clark then directed his attention to Effam, who still stood at her spot.
"I take that you want a task as well?" inferred Clark.
"Yessssss I do..." replied Effam.
"Alright, here's what I want you to do..."
We now take you to Team Cortex - or what was left of them at least - as Cortex was discussing card games with Elijah, off all things.
"Why is Cortex talking about Yu-Gi-Oh with that boy?" wondered Von Clutch.
"Because he's Cortex," replied Uka.
A horde of Gloombreed appeared and confronted our heroes.
"Does anyone have a charger?" Cortex asked the others. Apparently his ray gun ran out of energy.
"We're hopeless," moaned Tropy.
"Why can't you defeat these monsters?" Uka asked the master of time.
"Who, me? I'm above fighting now. Let Cortex handle the workload!"
Cortex was running from the Gloombreed like the ninny he is.
"Is he always like this?" Amber asked Von Clutch.
"You have no idea..." Von Clutch shook his head.
The Gloombreed managed to have Cortex cornered in the carrot fields. Suddenly Cortex remembered something...
"Aha!" he pulled out another ray gun out of his other pocket, and fired away at the Gloombreed, defeating them all.
"YOU HAD ANOTHER RAY GUN THIS WHOLE TIME?!" Tropy yelled at Cortex once the others met up with the N head.
"May I also mention that I've been carrying a first aid kit for the entire adventure?" Cortex brought up.
"Why you little..." Tropy grabbed Cortex by the neck and strangled him.
"Stop, Tropy, stop!" pleaded Von Clutch. "I wanna strangle him too!"
While Tropy was taking his anger out on Cortex, Uka went to go check on Elijah and Amber, who watched the scene with a sad look on their faces.
"Miss your mother?" Uka asked them, in his attempt to be some sort of a caring figure.
"Running away was a terrible idea," remarked Elijah.
"It was your idea to begin with," Amber pointed out.
"The only reason I suggested running away is so we could find a job. And now look were we are...running away from a bunch of rabid teenagers."
"Have you ever tried reasoning with them?" asked Uka.
"There's no reasoning with the Carrot Offspring," replied Amber. "Not with Clark around, at least."
"How about the others?"
"Aside from their demented and cannibalistic ways, they're alright."
The three men returned to Uka and the siblings once Tropy and Von Clutch were done with Cortex, whose neck was hurting.
"Shall we continue our quest?" said Cortex.
A bitter Isabel walked inside the hospital cafeteria, where the Chick and Stew cheered on for Rilla Roo, who was chugging down bottles of milk that he found in the storage room.
"Chug, chug, chug, chug, chug..." the two chanted until Rilla Roo was finished with the last bottle.
"Woooo!" the mutant cheered as he did chest bumps with the fowl reporters.
"Security?" Isabel called out. Rilla Roo grabbed her by the mouth.
"Chill out, Izzy," Stew said to Isabel, calling her by some pet name. "Can't you just let loose for once?"
"Let loose?" Isabel released herself from Rilla Roo's grasp. "The island - and the universe at that matter - as we know it is at stake, and you're..."
"The universe?" Chick raised an eyebrow. "That's some prior knowledge we never got before."
"Exactly where do you get this 'prior knowledge'?"
"It's a secret," grinned Stew.
"Also, have you been checking on Crash while he's healing?"
"Oh yes we have, not so long ago."
"Describe to me what happened."
"Well you see..." Chick began.
"Who was in the room at the time?"
"Crash...and his pals."
"Specifically which pals?"
"Um, uh...Fake Crash and...Yaya?"
"Did you have a conversation with Crash?"
"Yes, we talked about..." Chick looked to Stew for some backup/support.
"We were talking about who would win next year's Brawl Masters!" Stew perked up.
"But that tourney doesn't happen on yearly basis," Isabel pointed out.
"...So what's your point?"
"Imbeciles," Isabel walked off in disgust, leaving the reporting trio by themselves in the somewhat vacant cafeteria.
"Is there any more milk?" Chick asked Rilla Roo. The mutant headed to the storage room.
We now return to Team Cortex, who were accompanied by Elijah and Amber.
"You never told us what you guys were looking for," Elijah said to Von Clutch.
"We're searching for the Mask of Courage, ya!" stated Von Clutch. "Have any idea where it could be?"
"Our leader, Clark, holds the mask inside a building in which he considers sacred," explained Amber. "Getting inside won't be an easy task."
"Mmmosssst ccccertainllllyyy not..."
"I recognize that voice anywhere..." Tropy said. Effam appeared in front of our heroes.
"Tttrrying to rrrrun awayyy, I ssssseeee?" the scarecrow fixated her attention on Elijah and Amber.
"We're sick and tired of the stupid Carrot Offspring!" Elijah said defiantly.
"Sounds like you need to go see a doctor," snarked Cortex.
"Now's not the time," Uka told him.
"If you honestly think we're coming back to those weirdos, think again!" frowned Amber.
"It'ssssss nnnot yyoooouu two I'm afffffter..." Effam directed her attention to Team Cortex. "I'm afffffter tttthhhemmm..."
"You lookin' for a fight?" Cortex put up his dukes. "Let's go!"
"Vvverrry wellll..."
Effam transported Team Cortex to a shadowy dimension - the same dimension that Nina and Pasadena were in. The scarecrow appeared and conjured an image so frightening, that it is too scary for me to even...
"WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT BLACK-HAIRED GIRL'S JAW?!"
...type it out. Thanks, Uka.
Anyways, the black-haired girl, who had no jaw and looked oddly similar to Nina, pounced on our heroes...but mostly Cortex.
"Why is it coming after me?" the N head complained as he ran away, or at least he tried to.
"She must be intrigued in your humongous head," presumed Tropy, who didn't bother to help Cortex at all. (Though you can't say you blame him...)
"Watch out!" Von Clutch moved everyone out of the way as a giant shadow ball was fired at their direction. Everyone looked up and saw Effam.
"Pppreppparrree toooo diiiiieee..." the scarecrow fired a black laser at our heroes, which chased them around. Cortex tried to fire a plasma shot at Effam, but it was blocked by a shadow ball.
"I got this," Tropy fired a fireball from his staff at Effam; that was decimated by a shadow ball as well. Effam appeared by Cortex and licked him.
"Gah!" Cortex jumped up in fright. "What the heck Uka?"
"Why would I randomly lick someone?" defended Uka. "Answer that, Cortex!"
"You licked N. Trance that one time!"
"IT WAS A STINKING DARE!"
"...Really? I thought you wanted to taste his egg shell..."
"EGG SHELLS DON'T HAVE ANY TASTE, YOU MORONIC..."
"Can we please return to the battle?" implored Von Clutch.
"Ggglladlllyyy..." Effam fired another shadow ball at our heroes. When they dodged it, the scarecrow resorted to some man-to-man combat, attacking with her clawed hands. Von Clutch managed to land a punch - a hard punch - on Effam, sending her back.
"Maybe those PEDs really worked!" Von Clutch flexed his nonexistent muscles.
"But you're supposed to be a cyborg," Cortex pointed out, receiving a death glare from Von Clutch. Effam got Von Clutch back by delivering a punch of her own, punching through his chest and knocking the Black Power Gem out.
"Hoo boy..." Tropy panicked as Von Clutch started malfunctioning, until he completely shut off. Suddenly a purple aura surrounded the cyborg, and he awakened, but with purple eyes.
"Attacccck..." Effam commanded the now-possessed Von Clutch to attack Cortex and Tropy.
"Do something!" Uka yelled at the two. "You can't be just dodging around like that!"
"We don't see you doing anything!" retorted Cortex.
"Fine then. Time to take matters into my own hands..."
While Cortex and Tropy were dealing with Von Clutch, Uka confronted Effam.
"Hit me with your best shot!" he demanded. Effam fired a bunch of shadow balls at Uka, and the ancient mask absorbed them all to form into some sort of shadowy titan thing (you know what I'm talking about).
"Whhhhaaaa..." Effam looked distraught.
"Bring it on, cloth face!"
"Twoooo caaaan pppplllayyyyy aaat ttthhhhat gaaammeee..."
Effam extended her shadow, allowing her to create a shadow being about the size of Uka. Uka and this shadow being battled with each other, and they kept dueling until some sort of heart was revealed in the shadow being's chest.
"Hmmmm..." Uka analyzed this organ, then proceeded to punch it, defeating not only the being, but Effam in the process.
Everyone was transported out of the shadow dimension, as Effam collapsed on the ground in defeat. Uka analyzed the scene; Cortex and Tropy were panting, and a non-functioning Von Clutch stood there, with his black power gem not that far away from him. Uka went over to said gem and picked it up via telekinesis, before placing it back in Von Clutch's chest were it belonged. The cyborg immediately came back to life.
"What happened?" Von Clutch looked around.
"You were kidnapped...by robot ninjas," Uka made up a story for Von Clutch to believe.
"Robot ninjas? Where did they take me?"
"They all took you...to Los Angeles!"
"Ooh!" Von Clutch happily clapped his hands. "What did we do in Los Angeles?"
"Uhh...alpine skiing?"
"How delightful!"
(There is absolutely no alpine skiing in Los Angeles. Tsk tsk, Von Clutch, tsk tsk.)
Effam finally got up and faced Team Cortex.
"Yyooouuu mmmayyyy havvvvve wwwwon tttthhh baaaattlllleee..." she echoed, "...buuut tttthhe ssssssacrifffficcccee isssss near..."
And with that, the scarecrow dove into the shadows.
"The Carrott Offspring must have Nina and Pasadena!" said Cortex. "They must be a part of the sacrifice! We must save them!"
"Hold up just a minute," intervened Tropy. "Where's Elijah and Amber?"
"We've found the runaways," Cynzia and Zeferino handed siblings Elijah and Amber - with their hands held behind their backs - to Clark, who was accompanied by the Magic Mirror.
"Excellent work, you two," Clark commended the two classmates for their efforts.
"Oooh y'all tried to run away?" the Magic Mirror mocked the siblings. "Clark gonna tear up y'all behinds now!"
"Calm yourself, Mirror."
Mordecai and Xavier approached Clark.
"It is now nighttime," said Xavier. "Shall we begin the sacrifice?"
"Is everything prepared?" asked Clark.
"Everything is set in order," replied Mordecai.
"Then we shall commence the sacrifice." Clark turned to Cynzia and Zeferino. "Take the runaways to the site; they'll be sacrificed for their actions."
A sense of worry overwhelmed Elijah and Amber as they were carried away...but not for long.
"TINY SMASH!"
Tiny hopped out of nowhere and ambushed Clark and company. Cortex, Tropy, Von Clutch, and Uka all appeared; Cortex had the Warpinator in his hand.
"Playtime's over, losers!" taunted Cortex. "Now hand me my niece this instant!"
"Hey what about Pasadena?" asked Von Clutch.
"Oh no one cares about her."
Von Clutch frowned.
"Seize them!" commanded Clark, as Xavier and Zefernio sprung into action. Both went down quite easily, what with Cortex unleashing his ray gun on Xavier, and Tiny pummeling Mordecai. Cynzia ran off in fear.
"Let's not waste our time with them," Mordecai told Clark. "The sacrifice must be done!"
"But those miscreants will mess everything up! Not even our newbies could stop them!"
"Don't you have Cynzia?"
"...You're right. Where is she?"
"She ran off in fear. I'll go..."
Before Mordecai could go look for Cynzia, a pink force field surrounded Cortex and company, encasing them in a bubble.
"I'm right here," Cynzia reported to Clark.
"Great job. I want you to guide the trespassers to the site, so they can witness the sacrifice..."
That night, the Carrot Offspring gathered around a campsite for the sacrifice. Cynzia still held our heroes inside the bubble, as the helplessly watched the sacrifice about to begin before their very eyes.
"Tonight, we are all gathered here to welcome The One That Strolls the Fields," Clark began. "This is a rather momentous occasion for our cult."
"Tiny can't watch..." Tiny covered his eyes, while Cortex inspected the Warpinator. He saw something on the device that intrigued him.
"Guys, I have an idea..." said Cortex.
"Is it a good idea?" asked Uka.
"Must you always ask that...anyways, here's how our plan goes..."
"Once The One That Strolls the Fields makes his way here, and take the sacrifice, he will show us that..." Clark continued his speech before being cut off by some ringtone.
"Fingers down my spine, girl you lookin' mighty fine..." the ringtone went off.
"Where that music coming from?!" the Magic Mirror wondered as he looked around.
"Oh won't you rub your fingers down my spine, girl you lookin' mighty fine..."
"Excuse me everyone," Von Clutch giggled as he put his cellphone on silent.
"Where did the tiger run off too?" Clark noticed Tiny was not inside the bubble.
"Right here!" Tiny, who carried Nina, Pasadena and the siblings Elijah and Amber, pummeled Clark to the ground, before being teleported back inside the bubble - with the use of Cortex's Warpinator.
"B-But how?!" Clark growled as he got up.
"By letting you carry on with your speech, I teleported my dearest minion with this device here - which I had no idea had the ability to teleport people and objects - and ordered him to find those used for the sacrifice!" explained Cortex.
"It was arguably the best plot he did, and the only plot that was successful," added Tropy, causing Cortex to grumble.
"Do you know these two?" Elijah pointed to Nina and Pasadena, who were incapacitated due to Xavier's poison.
"Why yes, the goth girl is my niece, Nina," said Cortex. "And that possum girl is Pasadena."
"Can you heal them?" asked Amber.
"Let's see if we can..." Tropy whipped out his staff and observed the buttons. "One of these buttons here should be able to heal them."
While Tropy was doing that, Mordecai took upon the opportunity to sacrifice Clark by grabbing the boy preacher and holding him up for everyone to see.
"Clark here is the only person that needs to be sacrificed!" announced Clark. "He let what just happened to transpire!"
"He's right!" said one of the Carrot Offspring. "Clark is a terrible leader!"
"Why not sacrifice the newbies as well?" suggested another adolescent, causing concern in the students. "They've done and contributed nothing during their tenure!"
"Someone get the stakes!" ordered Mordecai. "And the torches!"
"We eating steak?" the Magic Mirror perked up.
"I said stakes, not steaks."
"Aw, shucks..."
An adolescent grabbed several stakes and mounted them to the ground, while a second adolescent gathered a few torches. A few other adolescents tied Cynzia, Zeferino, Zola, Xavier, and Effam to the stakes, and Mordecai tied Clark to the stakes as well. The stakes were lit aflame with the torches.
"Here he comes!" one of the adolescents saw The One That Strolls the Fields coming towards the sacrifice, burrowing through the ground. As the monstrosity neared closer and closer, Zeferino teleported him and his classmates away. Clark, however, was on the bitter end, as he wounded up being eaten by The One That Strolls the Fields. The Carrot Offspring cheered and whatnot.
"The sacrifice is now a success!" cheered Mordecai.
"Your little sacrifice may have come through, but you still have to deal with us!"
Mordecai looked towards Cortex, who was now out of the bubble, accompanied by Tropy, Von Clutch, Uka, and Tiny, as well as Nina and Pasadena, both of whom were rejuvenated. Elijah and Amber accompanied Team Cortex.
"How did you manage to get out your floating prison?!" frowned Mordecai.
"It was all thanks to me," Nina cracked her knuckles.
"Why couldn't Tiny break the bubble to begin with?" wondered Pasadena.
"Because Tiny is stupid," responded Tiny.
"D-Did Tiny just admit to being stupid?!" Cortex whipped out a notepad to mark this momentous occasion. "This is an absolute first!"
"ENOUGH!" boomed Mordecai. "What is up with you people?!"
"What is up with us?" scoffed Uka. "What is up with you and your scrawny cultists? You all idolize some sort of entity, and doing so has turned you all into murderous beings, with not a single shred of remorse or empathy! Why, this whole idolization of The One That Strolls the Fields is the very reason why your minds are all screwed up. How do you all live like this?"
Before Mordecai could answer, The One That Strolls the Fields returned and gobbled up Mordecai, swallowing him whole. The monstrosity revealed himself to everyone as a worm-like monstrosity, with multiple eyes and limbs, as well as a mouth full of sharp teeth.
"Those who dare to enter these lands..." bellowed The One That Strolls the Fields, "...begone with you!"
"We're not leaving!" detested Cortex. "Not until we acquire what we've been looking for - the Mask of Courage!"
"Oh is that so? Do you wish to obtain this mask...in a challenge?"
"What's the stipulation?"
"If you win, I'll give you the Mask of Courage, and I'll let your people go. But if I win, that girl and her possum friend - and also the traitors - must join the Carrot Offspring, while your companions DIE! What challenge do you wish to partake?"
"A dance battle!"
"Guess we're all gonna die," sighed Von Clutch as Tropy facepalmed.
"I don't wanna join those losers!" moaned Pasadena.
"Fine the; I'll pick your opponent," complied The One That Strolls the Fields as he summoned Clark, who looked A-OK for some reason. A thunderstorm cloud hovered over the Eubeleus Badlands, as a lightning bolt struck the ground, causing a dance floor of sorts to rise up. "Let the challenge - or should I say, dance battle - begin!"
Both Cortex and Clark got on the dance floor, as some techno music began playing.
Both Cortex and Clark got on the dance floor, as some techno music began playing. Clark was doing some legit dance moves, while Cortex was doing the robot.
"Our deaths need to hurry up now," Tropy was anticipating a loss for Team Cortex, judging by how Cortex was doing.
"Is there a judge?" Nina asked The One That Strolls the Fields.
"The Magic Mirror will decide who wins," explained the entity. "This competition will be best out of seven."
"Will the Magic Mirror be biased towards Clark?" questioned Uka.
"Man I ain't gonna be biased!" the Magic Mirror snapped. "Get outta here with that crap!"
"...He will be a little feisty at times," stated The One That Strolls the Fields.
The first round ended. The Magic Mirror got to decide who won.
"Clark wins, by default," he gave the victory to Clark, who did not celebrate at all. Then again, it's the first round; if he doesn't celebrate if he wins, then this guy must be boring or something.
"By default?" complained Cortex.
"Doing the robot ain't gonna help you bud."
Next up was some salsa music. Clark was doing the salsa pretty well, while Cortex attempted to roll his hips. His hip rolling looked extremely awkward, to say the least.
"MY EYES!" one of the Carrot Offspring couldn't bear to watch Cortex's atrocious dancing anymore, and had to look away. An adolescent comforted him.
"Clark wins yet again," said the Magic Mirror. "You should at least make this somewhat competitive," he told Cortex.
Next up was some ballroom dancing. Cortex and Clark did a variety of dances together, including the foxtrot, waltz, and tango.
"I'm posting this everywhere on uncle's social media," Nina filmed her uncle dancing on her phone.
"Cortex wins!" announced the mirror. Clark was exasperated.
"We both did the same dance move, for crying out loud!" he frowned.
"Cortex danced with a more elegant flair. You dance like you was in pain!"
"Hmph..."
The following around consisted of ballet. Cortex was actually doing pretty well.
"Did I ever tell you that Uncle Cortex took ballet classes at the Academy of Evil?" Nina asked Pasadena.
"He WHAT?" Pasadena was shocked. "Do you know if he was any good?"
"N. Gin helped him perfect ballet."
"...Really?"
"I know, right? Caught me off by surprise too."
"It's not just that. I never knew N. Gin was a good mentor. Always thought he was too crazy and maniacal for something like that..."
"Another victory for Cortex!" said the Magic Mirror. "It's now tied, two to two!"
Now it was time for some licensed music. Jump On It! by The Sugarhill Gang started playing; Clark was doing the dance alright, and Cortex was confused.
"Jump on what?" he threw his hands up in the air.
"Since Cortex look confused and whatnot, Clark gets the win!" said the Magic Mirror.
"You should have explained to me how the dance goes!" Cortex scolded his team.
"I don't believe that's how a dance battle works," remarked Von Clutch.
It's Not Unusual by Tom Jones played over the nonexistent loudspeakers. Cortex did the Carlton to perfection, while Clark's Carlton was completely off.
"Cortex wins!" said the Magic Mirror. "It's now 3-3! This one's for all the marbles!"
It was now time for the final round. What was the theme?
"YOU ALREADY KNOW WHO IT IS!"
"What song is this?" wondered one of the adolescents. (This song didn't come out around this time of the story, mind you.) Clark looked around, bewildered.
"Aw yeah, I'm really feeling it now!" Cortex got pumped up as the hook came on.
"Now watch me whip..." Cortex did the whip. "Now watch me nae nae..." Cortex did the nae nae. He would repeat this four times.
"You can't let him win!" The One That Strolls the Fields begged to the Magic Mirror. Cortex was freestylin' on the dance floor.
"Do the stanky leg..." Cortex did the stanky leg.
"Looks like we're not going to die after all," remarked Tropy.
"Now break your legs..."
Cortex literally broke both of his legs.
"Gaaaaahhhhh!" the scientist grabbed his legs in pain.
"Yes, yes, yes!" cheered The One That Strolls the Fields. "Your time is up!"
"Hey, wormface! Over here!"
The entity directed his attention to Tiny, who had Pasadena's a bunch of flammable stuff near the carrot fields.
"What is going on?" questioned The One That Strolls the Fields.
"Part 2 of my master plan," explained Cortex, who feigned his leg injury, as he got up. "By engaging in a little competition, I gave my minion some time to gather as many match lighting materials as possible, so we could burn your carrot fields to the GROUND!"
"No, you can't!" implored The One That Strolls the Fields.
"Does this belong to you?" Tiny held up the prophecy scroll, which Clark was holding on to. Turns out that it actually belongs to The One That Strolls the Fields.
"Give it here!" the entity rushed towards Tiny, who dropped the scroll in the nick of time and stepped to the side.
"Now Tiny!" commanded Cortex. Using Pasadena's flamethrower, Tiny burned the scroll and the carrot fields, seemingly defeating The One That Strolls the Fields. The entity let out a big "NO!" as he, Clark, the dance floor, and, strangely enough, the Carrot Offspring, faded away.
"How peculiar," Cortex observed as every carrot field turned into ash. The master of time noticed Elijah and Amber were still present. "How come you two didn't fade away?"
"I thought we told you we had to dye our skin..." said Amber.
"Please excuse Cortex, he has his slow moments from time to time," Uka said to the kids. Cortex folded his arms in disgust, then realized something.
"The mask! We still have yet to acquire the mask."
"Clark had the mask inside a chapel," said Elijah. "We could go see if it's still there."
Elijah and Amber led our heroes to the chapel, and there it was. The Mask of Courage was sitting atop a pedestal.
"The visage of the mask looks familiar..." observed Uka. "Could it be...?"
Cortex walked over to the mask and picked it up. The mask depicted a female with dirty blonde hair.
"She looks like that blonde girl we saw in one of Grantor's old tapes!" he exclaimed. (Go to Chapter 21 if you don't know who it is.)
"Great, we finally have the mask," Nina sighed out of relief. "Let's ditch this place!"
Team Cortex returned to Chinatown later that night, bringing Elijah and Amber with them, as they headed to the hospital. Zoey happened to be at the hospital entrance, ready to leave for home. At the sight of Cortex, Zoey teared up and run towards him...
"Told you she digs me," Cortex said sheepishly to Tropy.
"Elijah! Amber! You've returned!" a teary-eyed Zoey ran to the siblings - not Cortex - and hugged them both.
"Whuzzat?"
"You found my children?" Zoey asked Cortex.
"Children?!" Cortex was caught off guard. "Uh yeah, we managed to find your children at the Eubeleus Badlands."
"Oh how can I ever thank you?"
"With a date, perhaps?"
Suddenly an explosion was heard from inside the hospital. Everyone rushed inside...
...and saw Team Crash - save for their leader - writhing on the ground. Dave had an incapacitated Isabel in his arms.
"What is the meaning of this?" boomed Cortex.
"Heh heh heh..." an evil laugh was heard. "Glad you all made it back here...for the Alpha has arrived!"
A Russian looking man in a fancy red suit appeared, holding a sword in his hand. Uka quickly realized who it was, judging by what he learned from watching Grantor's old tapes.
"Is that...Daniil Yerofeyev?!" he exclaimed.
End of Chapter 35