A/N: At last, we've gotten to this stage. Till now, I'm still not sure if I've gone in the right direction with the confrontation scene, but thankfully I had volume 13 to help with that a bit, so I hope it turned out okay?
Thank you all for your support! Merry Christmas, and have a Happy New Year! :)
April 27, 2013
The dash for the inevitable confrontation with his Shadow was filled with silence and tension, the latter mostly on his own part.
While he ought to be worried about whatever was in store for him, Shizuo instead found himself being more preoccupied with the vague yet shockingly honest confession from the flea prince earlier. Even though it wasn't mentioned directly, the meaning behind Hibiya's words was not hard to pick up on, and the mere idea of Izaya ever thinking of him as human – even if it were just for a split second or a split of a split of a split second – was enough to get his mind spinning.
For the longest time since he could remember, Shizuo felt the butterflies fluttering in the depths of his gut as he ran, their metaphorical wings sending waves of blood to every part of his body. The wind blowing against his face was supposed to feel like cold rain droplets trickling across his skin, but now it felt like the air around him was turning as warm as his whole body was getting. He'd gotten accustomed to such a feeling, to this supposed adrenaline rush he got whenever his temper got the better of him, and yet it was an alien sensation at the same time. He didn't feel himself letting slip any shred of self-control, the usual unusual strength wasn't gathering at his fingers, and the spread and the build-up of the warmth was gradual, like ripples in a calm body of water.
There was a certain element of tranquility to it, an element that Shizuo was mostly unfamiliar with, and as he grabbed hold of that thought and continued pondering about it further, the fortissimo of Ikebukuro held back a snort.
'Before, the flea would be the one pissing me off,' he mused, 'and now, some part of his Shadow is making me feel the complete opposite.'
It was somewhat apt, Shizuo thought, when he connected this to the idea of Shadows being suppressed human thoughts and emotions, as well as his earlier idea of him and Izaya being more similar than he would have ever expected. Perhaps deep down, Izaya was aware of it too, but because of his messed up, stupid flea pride, he rejected that very notion. Shizuo could just imagine it: "What? You think we share something in common? …Don't lump me together with a protozoan like you. I know you have an undeveloped brain, but this is just laughably ridiculous even for you, Shizu-chan."
It almost sounded real in his head, except Shizuo could not think of a reply eloquent enough to convince Izaya otherwise. But he was starting to feel determined to find a way to make it real, no matter what form it might take.
'So wherever you really are,' he thought, tilting his head slightly towards the canopy, 'don't even think about giving in, Izaya. You've got a whole lotta mess you're sorta responsible for, and you'd better make it back in one piece to clean it up.'
He wasn't expecting an answer, and when he did receive it, it was in the form of the somewhat distant howl of the winter zephyrs and gales of shadowy aura.
"We're almost there," Shizuo heard his own voice – except much calmer and more serene than he could ever hear himself say – point out. He turned towards his left, where one of his doppelgangers was gliding across the snow, hands tucked into the sleeves of his kimono.
Shizuo had nothing to say to that. Not that he ever had much to say to someone who looked exactly like him and happened to be part of his inner psyche. He was still working on that.
"Perhaps we should take our time from here on," Tsugaru suggested, though he was already slowing down a bit. Satonaka looked like she wanted to refute that, but Tsugaru cut her off before she could make any comment. "After all, there is something I would like to confirm with you, Heiwajima-san."
"...About what?" Shizuo asked.
"What does strength mean to you?" Tsugaru spoke, casting a firm yet soft gaze on the person responsible for his existence.
Shizuo couldn't give a reply immediately, and almost choked on his own breath for a moment. It was a bomb of a question, and something Shizuo himself had been wondering and had no answer to for years.
Most people might look towards themselves or other people as examples, but his "strength" didn't work in the manner he had been hoping for. It put other people in danger, and caused his family and the townspeople too much trouble for him to list. He had tried his darnest best in making it work the way he wanted it to, but he couldn't. It made him feel weak and vulnerable, and there was not one aspect of his "strength" to feel proud of.
If anything, Celty would be the prime example of someone who displayed true strength. She wasn't human; could summon up shadows and scythes and stuff. But she tried living as one in spite of who she was, and was even able to find love in Shinra, a human being – though sometimes Shizuo doubted he had the mentality of one – who loved her unconditionally. She had the courage to love even though she wasn't human, a trait that Shizuo found really admirable. He'd even say Celty was more human than he was.
"Heiwajima-san?" Tsugaru nudged.
"Sorry, guess I spaced out there. Strength, huh." Shizuo let the word roll on his tongue for a bit, and it tasted just as bitter as it sounded when he said it. "If I really have to say something... Strength is, being strong enough to overcome anything. Even if you're hated by everyone, or the world is against you, you face it all like you don't give a damn," he answered, thinking of Celty and the trials she had gone through.
"I see," Tsugaru replied, smiling a little. "Then, do you think you have that? That kind of strength you just described?"
"Not one bit," Shizuo said without hesitation.
Of course Tsugaru knew he would say that, but the other blond asked all the same, and he did so again, "Well... Then what kind of strength do you think you have?"
"...The bad kind," Shizuo responded quietly.
Tsugaru nodded, presumably in understanding, but at the same time, his ocean blue eyes looked at the snow on the ground. "I thought so."
Shizuo could only stare, not knowing if he was supposed to respond to that. And if he was, then how he should respond was another factor to consider. In the silence that had fallen, the deep bellow of the abnormal winds continued to grow steadily louder, and the same stifling feeling from earlier was beginning to engulf his entire body and press against his chest, as though sucking away the air from his lungs.
"Well, what about you, Satonaka-san?" said Tsugaru, turning to face the adolescent. "Is it alright with you if I asked you for your opinion?"
"Uh, sure?" Chie rubbed the back of her head, sounding a bit surprised that she had been included in the conversation. "To be honest, though, I can't really give a clear answer, but I guess strength is...having the power to protect those you love? Or more like, having the right kind of power to do that."
That answer left part of Shizuo's gut rolling about, the invisible butterflies' wings shuttering once again. He knew she hadn't directed it at him, and he knew she didn't realise what her words meant to him, but Shizuo still felt a pang of guilt striking his chest as Satonaka's words echoed in his mind: the right kind of power, the right kind of power...
"May I request for further clarification?" Tsugaru asked, snapping Shizuo out of his thoughts.
"Huh? Oh, 'course you can!" The brunette hummed thoughtfully. "Well... I guess you could say that strength is being able to protect people without overstepping your boundaries. Like, not pushing yourself too hard, or helping other people so often you end up looking like you're trying to keep them to yourself. You gotta know what's right and what's wrong when using whatever you have to help other people out. But what's really important is that it's also about knowing you can rely on people, too. It took me a while to realise it myself."
Shizuo didn't exactly disagree with her opinion, but he was a tad bit curious how she would answer if he had asked about having the wrong kind of power from the start. And..."relying on people" was just the thing he would normally avoid. He'd caused enough trouble for the people around him as it was.
Tsugaru, on the other hand, nodded again. "An interesting perspective. Thank you for shedding more light on the topic, Satonaka-san."
"Ah it's nothing," Chie replied with a cheery smile. "Though, if you don't mind me asking... Why'd you bring this up all of a sudden?"
Tsugaru said nothing at first, the corners of his lips widening slightly into a thin, graceful smile that Shizuo thought looked like it belonged on the face of noble ladies or princesses more than it did on a face that looked like his. Then, he turned his head to steal a glance at Shizuo, before he unhurriedly looked away and at the path before them. A low, steady clap of thunder roared at almost the same time a flash of lightning cracked across the sky, and thin strips of bursts of shadowy aura could be seen flaring up within a corona of coniferous trees up ahead of them.
"I just wanted to be sure," Tsugaru said.
Shizuo didn't like the sound of that.
"Oh! They're here!" Teddie exclaimed, flapping his arms as he skipped about his squeaky feet.
At the mention of their arrival, Souji and the others turned, and waited until Shizuo, Tsugaru and Chie fully entered the area before the grey-haired adolescent acknowledged their presence. Chie heaved a huge sigh of relief upon meeting her leader and seeing that he was alright.
While the kids were having their brief reunion, Shizuo couldn't help but notice the doppelganger who had been giving off the menacing aura that had been strangling the air out of him all this while. To his surprise, this one was even wearing the exact same bartender outfit he usually wore, almost as if trying to say that he was so-called closer to Shizuo than the other lookalikes were. He was also sporting a pair of glasses, while Shizuo's normal shades were nowhere to be seen on him. Around his neck was a pale turquoise scarf, a shade so faint it nearly appeared white.
"...You've finally shown up," the bespectacled lookalike murmured, his pitch higher than Shizuo would've expected. It was muddled by the deep echo of some other unknown voices, though, so for all Shizuo knew, this guy's voice could be one of them instead.
"Uh, I'm...here?" Shizuo responded. He scratched the back of his neck, and shrugged slightly. He knew that was a little lame, but he didn't really care about how he sounded at the moment, and continued to focus his attention on his otherworldly clone. "You're Tsukishima...right?"
The doppelganger Tsukishima simply gave a huff, and drew back in some of the thick, crushing aura he had been exuding. Instantly it became a whole lot easier to breathe, and Shizuo grabbed this chance to take in a long, deep breath.
Unfortunately, that gave off a certain impression that Shizuo hadn't intended for. "Feelin' the jitters, huh?" said the Tatsumi kid, who flashed Shizuo a sympathetic smile. "S'not everyday you get to face yourself, after all."
"And boy am I glad that's the case," Satonaka said, placing her fists on both hips as she sighed. "Well, break a leg, Heiwajima-san. And don't worry, if anything happens, you've got us to fall back on." At the later statement, Chie brought up a thumbs-up sign and a reassuring smile. It was weird, having to count on a group of kids to protect him. He settled for a quick and firm nod before taking a few steps forward.
"Give it a chance to talk," Seta said, voice quiet yet steady from behind him. Shizuo wasn't sure what that entailed, and why it implied that he wasn't going to like whatever the Shadow was going to say, but he had a feeling he was going to find out soon.
"Hey, me, how's it going?" Delic called out from the right. It took a moment for Shizuo to realise that it was a rhetorical question when the pink-eyed blond leaned forward and swung a lazy arm across his shoulders, bringing him close enough to hear Delic whisper, "Just a heads-up when dealing with Tsuki: you do not want to piss the lil' tyke off. I mean it. He doesn't like getting mad."
Shizuo didn't understand why that was to be taken as so bad a secret that Delic had to come up with those gestures just to whisper it to him. In fact, he felt quite the opposite, and his shoulders relaxed a little. "Really? Sounds like we'll get along just fine," he replied before he shook the other's arm off, gaining a startled grunt in response which he paid no attention to as he moved on.
To his left was the lookalike dressed in the butler uniform, but this one didn't make as much as a whisper, and simply folded an arm across his chest as he made a ninety-degree bow. It only served to make Shizuo even more uncomfortable.
When he was finally at close enough a distance from Tsukishima, Shizuo stopped and gingerly slid his hands in his pockets. "You sure took your time in getting here," his Shadow spoke.
Unable to think of an appropriate reply, Shizuo shrugged and said the first thing that came to his mind, "If you wanted to see me that much, then why didn't you come looking for me?"
He could hear someone – most likely Delic – groan and slam a palm against his forehead. '...What? Don't tell me that's gonna piss him off. I was just asking.'
As Delic's reaction justified, however, Shizuo saw the expression on his Shadow's face darken considerably. "Don't you think I would've done that if I could?"
"Huh... You mean you couldn't?" And he heard Delic outright curse this time – what the hell was he doing wrong?
"Oh please. You think you have the right to judge my sense of direction? Go look at yourself in a mirror – if you can even find one." Tsukishima rolled his eyes, then reached up to loosen the scarf around his neck heatedly, almost like how those annoyed, down-in-the-dumps debtors who wore business suits messed with those ties whenever he saw them arguing with Tom.
He hadn't even gotten into a proper conversation with his Shadow yet, but Shizuo was already starting to get annoyed with that attitude. "What was that, you bastard?!"
"A-ahh, Shizuo, stay calm! Deep breaths, deep breaths!"
"Uh, Ted, I don't think that's what you normally say in this kinda situation..."
Tatsumi and the bear's mumbling to each other wasn't helping much, either, but he did get the reminder that he needed to at least hear Tsukishima out and let him say his piece. So Shizuo did as Teddie instructed, much to Chie and Kanji's voiced confusion, and tried to take it from the top again.
"Alright. Fine. Could you tell me..." Shizuo paused momentarily. 'Damn, this is hard. I mean, what the hell do I even say?' "Could you tell me what you meant by that?"
Tsukishima seemed to regard him with mild approval, and the shadows that crossed his features faded away. "Exactly what it sounded like," he replied vaguely, as he adjusted his scarf back. "You're lost."
Shizuo raised a brow, but refrained from making any comments.
"Not just about the things that have happened recently," Tsukishima clarified, taking on a slightly gentler, though monotonous, tone, "but your whole life. Since discovering, to your utmost disgust and horror, the terrible power you possess, you often find yourself caught between polarities of all sorts, and you haven't the faintest idea which you fall under. Which you belong to. And it makes you feel lost, like you're leading a directionless life that goes on without an end. Maybe you're a kind person beneath those thick layers of power, maybe you want to be of help to other people, but then you turn around and you end up destroying their homes, their families, their lives. Oh, and maybe, just maybe, you want to love and be loved by other people, but you're so much of a coward you wouldn't even dare to go near a single person! If that's the kind of life you lead everyday, and the kind of life you're going to be leading even in the future, then what else is it but meaningless and directionless?"
At this, Shizuo truly felt himself going speechless. Those were his sour spots, alright, and though he wouldn't deny he harboured those thoughts and let them bother him, Shizuo had to admit that it hurt to hear them aloud in his own voice, no matter how distorted it was.
"I don't belong anywhere," the Shadow continued, driving a blade deep into Shizuo's gut at that open, unashamed admittance. "I want to use my power to protect other people, but it gets them into trouble instead. I want to lead a normal, peaceful life, but I can't because there's nothing about me that's normal!" Tsukishima's breath hitched at this, and hearing that had Shizuo's throat coiled up in knots. "Everything I do doesn't come out right. Everything I touch breaks apart. Everything about me is wrong, and I know that, yet I want to make things right. But I can't. How can someone like me – someone who doesn't even know how to make sense of myself – ever have a place to belong, let alone have friends and be loved by anyone?"
"Heiwajima-san..." Shizuo heard Seta murmur, and that was the last straw. The nagging feeling that he didn't like anything his lookalikes did and said now became all too clear for him. This was why he didn't want anyone knowing about how he felt about himself. This was why he only confided in Celty and Kasuka – because they understood, and they understood well enough to not throw a pity party for him.
He had already caused enough trouble for the people around him. The last thing he needed was to make them feel sorry and worry about him.
"Shut up," Shizuo growled, mostly meant for Souji, but it didn't stop Tsukishima's eyes from widening and the shadowy aura, intensifying. "Yeah, I'm messed up. I can't do anything right, I make my parents apologise for the shit they're not responsible for, I wreck half the town whenever the flea drops by for even half a second..." He hadn't really meant to mention Izaya, but when he did, the corners of Shizuo's lips curled into a dry smile. "But, that's how it is, right? This...power," he slipped out one of his hands and clenched it, before unclenching it and clenching it close, "probably wasn't meant for me to control. I tried, and it worked, but that's the only time it did in all the times I tried."
"...So you won't try again?" Tsukishima asked, gazing at Shizuo intently.
"I don't know. I mean, it felt good, y'know? When it worked." Shizuo paused, glancing at the ground. "But pulling that kinda shit again is way too risky. Too—"
"—dangerous," Tsukishima said with a sneer that looked way creepier than Hachimenroppi did, "just like everything about you. What's new?"
"...Um, what?" Shizuo could only say that much, his earlier confidence and anger deflated. He didn't understand what Tsukishima was hinting at.
"It's dangerous, just like you were about to say. But at the same time, it felt so damn good, didn't it? Being able to control the power you were given, even for just a short moment?" The Shadow chuckled, and the way he did just screamed wrong in Shizuo's ears. He thought he heard Seta and Tatsumi yell out something, and the sounds of some weights falling to the ground, but they were all drowned out by the sound of his own twisted voice. "What was it that you said? That 'this power probably wasn't meant for you to control'? That's hilariously stupid bullshit and you know it!"
Shizuo took a cautious step back, now utterly lost. The change in Tsukishima was far too drastic for him to handle; even his thoughts, which were usually making a mess of his head, fell deathly silent.
"How could something that wasn't meant for you feel so right when the thing you've always been wishing for finally came true?" Tsukishima exclaimed, golden flames burning brightly in his eyes. "That's the one time you felt things were going right for you for once, isn't it? So! Reconciling yourself with this power is the only way you feel like you're truly you, and that you finally belong somewhere, and yet you say it wasn't meant for you? Don't kid yourself."
He whirled about on his feet, an action that was supposedly simple, but the moment he made the full turn, the Shadow kicked up a force strong enough to send a shockwave through the area. The air sparked, sending tiny flames fluttering to the ground that had sunken and made a shallow pit beneath his feet, yet the trees and the snow were relatively unaffected by Tsukishima's might. It was just that, a shockwave – a wave of power that drifted by yet made no marks of destruction in its wake.
The butterflies in Shizuo's stomach raged, sending a gust of envy sweeping over him at the display of Tsukishima's power and his masterful control over it. Shizuo gritted his teeth. "I didn't... I never even wanted—"
"Oh and hey, if it all goes well, maybe you might even put this power of yours to good use! You know, like those superheroes who fight crime for some noble cause using their abilities?" Tsukishima nodded, excited by the prospect of the idea. "I mean, you've always wanted to protect Ikebukuro, haven't you? Even though most of the townspeople are dead scared of you, you just can't turn your back on anyone so long as they're in trouble. Ohh I know! Next time you see Izaya making a mess of things, maybe you could try going all out on him. Doesn't that sound neat?"
Shizuo flinched. The broad sunny smile on Tsukishima's face would've been a nice sight if not for the fact that he spoke every word as if he were spitting acid.
"Up till now, all you've been making are some lame, weakass threats you don't even seriously consider carrying out. And that's exactly why that rotten bastard can get away with whatever he does. That guy's smart, after all. Enough to snake his way around and avoid arrest and stuff like that." He paused here to cast Shizuo a watchful gaze, his eyes narrowing to slits. "That's why somebody's gotta teach him a lesson or two."
Shizuo clenched his fists.
"Ah, but who should be the one to take up the responsibility? The police are useless, like I said. There's Celty, but she's only recently beginning to enjoy her life with Shinra. Having her go after Izaya all the time would be troubling for her, wouldn't it? Then there's Simon-san, but he prefers relying on his words instead of his strength, and it's not guaranteed that he can always get the message across to Izaya when it needs to. Who else, who else...?"
"...I really, really want for you," Shizuo snarled, finally finding his voice, "to shut the hell up." He didn't want to admit it, not even to himself, but his Shadow was starting to sound a whole lot like a particular detestable someone who had a pile of shit to clean up.
"Well, it can only be us, then. Right?" Tsukishima said, maintaining the beaming smile on his face. "We're the only ones who really bother with him, and we're the only ones who can effectively deal with him. It makes sense, doesn't it? You want to protect Ikebukuro. Izaya's a dangerous presence to Ikebukuro. So, if we can use our power to contain Izaya, we'd be able to protect Ikebukuro from him! Isn't that the perfect outcome?"
"It's not!" Shizuo retorted. There was something about the way Tsukishima said "contain" that really irked him, and it was biting at him so badly he had to get it off his chest. "Well, yeah, okay, the flea's one hell of an annoyance, and he's ruined my life before...and I'm pretty sure he's ruined a couple others' too, but that doesn't mean—"
"Izaya sure has it great, doesn't he?" Tsukishima interrupted, switching subjects yet again. "When you think about what he's done, he's a troublemaker through and through. And yet he never has to answer for the consequences of his actions. Nope, he just slips away, like every damn time we try to get to him. Even though he's hated by pretty much everyone, even by his own sisters, it's like he doesn't give a damn and just keeps going with what he's doing."
"Where are you going with this?" Shizuo asked, growing exhausted and too confused to keep up.
"We worry too much," Tsukishima elatedly pointed out. "Fear too much. That's why we never get anywhere. But Izaya... He doesn't let all that drag him down. Well of course, he doesn't have this crazy nonsensical power to deal with in the first place, but we both know even if he did, he'd be able to work his way around it. That's something we don't have. That daredevil, taunting nature of his. Pisses us off, doesn't it?"
"That's not... Izaya isn't..."
"Oh please, don't even try. You know it's true. Why, the only reason you're so fixated on him is because you've admired yet envied him all these years." The Shadow's eyes glinted like a cat's in the pooling darkness of night, before he added, "Though, if it wasn't for what happened back then…would you still have these conflicting feelings, I wonder?"
Shizuo immediately looked up, straightening his back and squaring his shoulders. "Oi, what... Whaddya mean by that?"
"Don't pull the Neanderthal card now. You know exactly what I mean," Tsukishima said, looking crossed and bored. "I'm sure you haven't forgotten about that kiss that other bastard gave you."
A chill colder than the harshest of the winds in this Niflheim place ran down Shizuo's spine. All of a sudden the fabric of his clothes felt like electrified needles, prickling every bit of his skin, and he almost felt compelled to scratch and pry them off. Black spots started to cloud his vision, its edges blurring as he gradually lost his focus. The sensation was familiar, and Shizuo could've sworn he only experienced this just minutes ago, when he thought he had spaced out.
'No, not now... Not again, dammit...!'
Shizuo closed his eyes shut and shook the disorientation away. The chill was still there, and so were the needles, but at least his head was clearer now, and not as heavy with giddiness as it had before. Those images that he saw last night – which felt so damn distant now it was hard to believe all of this was happening within just one day – and he thought he had blocked off were resurfacing again, but at a steadier, more coherent pace. As he took a glimpse at them, which was the best he could do under these circumstances, his eyes slowly widened.
"What... No way..."
"Do you remember now?" Tsukishima spoke, cutting through the images that drifted by before Shizuo's eyes. "Do you finally recognise who I am?"
"...You're..."
At the tone of vague familiarity in Shizuo's voice, Tsukishima visibly softened, to the point that the shadowy aura he was giving off had become a thin mist, and his eyes were no longer as bright as they were earlier. Then, without any warning, he flared up once again.
"That's right. I'm the thing you've kept denying, the thing you keep pushing away, because 'I'm not meant for you'," the Shadow said mockingly, taking a firm step forward. "But the truth is, Heiwajima Shizuo, I've always been there inside you. I know you like the back of my hand, because I've been through everything you have. Your fears, your insecurities, your desires... Nothing about you escapes me.
"We were whole, once. Though it was only for a short period of time, you were able to overcome the weaknesses of your heart. But," Tsukishima's voice lowered an octave, "as time passed and things went back to normal, so too did your attitude towards me. And, now, as I have heard from you... You don't know what to do with me. Hell, you never even wanted me."
Shizuo could only let his arms hang limply by his sides as he lowered his gaze. He still couldn't trust the things he saw, but he also couldn't find it within himself to declare them false.
"...That's not it," Shizuo murmured. "It's just... I don't think I'm ready."
For a moment there was complete silence, even from the kids and the other doppelgangers who were supposed to have been around. But then again, Shizuo hadn't exactly been paying any attention to his surroundings since falling deep into the conversation with Tsukishima, so there could've been some talking going on that he wasn't aware of. Regardless, there was silence in Shizuo's world, and all he could do while waiting for a reply was raise his head to meet Tsukishima's eyes.
"Then I'll force you to," his Shadow said, and that was the last thing Shizuo heard before the world spiraled into darkness.
Out of force of habit to avoid the incoming bolts of a rain of Maziodyne, Yosuke tripped over his foot and rolled across the snow until his back collided with the bark of a tree. With a croak, he shakily got to his knees and massaged his back, mumbling under his breath that he could've sworn he heard something crack earlier. He hoped it was anything but that – even though they had a nifty thing called Diarahan, there was nothing they could do about the damn pain that lingered – when he heard a shriek not too far away.
"Oh shi— Amagi!"
"Wait, Yosuke-senpai don't—!"
The sound of Rise's concerned yell was deafened by the clapping of thunder coming from right above him. For a split second, all Yosuke saw was white before his vision faded back to a spinning reality, finding himself lying on the snow and staring into the entangled tree branches and leaves that formed the forest's canopy. He felt like his entire body was on fire, and his muscles torn apart even though he hadn't seriously fought a single Shadow yet since entering the TV. The thunderclap was still ringing in his ears.
"Ugh... What hit me?"
"A Maziodyne," Rise replied, and Yosuke might've made some sort of remark that she was stating the obvious without him noticing it because she went on to say, "Well, of course I know you'd know what it was, but this Maziodyne... It felt like, I dunno, like it was aimed straight at you or something."
"So, this Shadow, it knew about my weak point right from the start?" Yosuke winced as he forced himself on his feet and rubbed his shoulders, being careful not to accidentally cut himself with his knives. As soon as the statement left his lips, a realisation struck him. "Wait, then that means..."
"Yeah, Psyche-san was right about the blood thing after all. Though...what I don't understand is—eek!"
Hearing the scream was as bad, maybe even worse, as having that Ziodyne engulfing his body. "R-Rise?!" Yosuke called out, bolting straight for where the navigator was stationed at.
"I-I'm fine, Naoto-kun's got me and Shinra-sensei covered. Don't worry about us, go help Yukiko-senpai out!"
Yosuke hesitated, and halted straight in his steps before yelling out an acknowledgement and turning for Yukiko instead. If this Shadow really did know them inside-out from the sucking blood incident, it was probably for the best that Naoto stayed with Rise to ensure that their support wasn't completely left open for the enemy to strike. Since Naoto didn't get attacked by the flea Shadows, and she didn't have any weaknesses for the enemy to exploit anyway, Yosuke trusted that she would be able to effectively protect Rise from any immediate danger.
Thankfully, Amagi wasn't that far away, and the Shadow didn't look like it was about to make its next move just yet, so Yosuke tossed it a quick Garudyne and took this chance to regroup with his kouhai and Kishitani. To his suspicion, however, the berserk Shadow simply shrugged the gust of wind off like it was nothing, and yet remained where it was: hovering right below the canopy and staring at them, unmoving.
Almost like it was...observing them.
"It's watching us," Naoto said, affirming that suspicion. It seemed that Yukiko thought so too, and Rise agreed, though she couldn't say for sure if they were right about that.
"The question is, why?" Yosuke wondered. "Up until just a moment ago, it was firing off attacks non-stop."
"It probably has something to do with this 'game' it was talking about," Yukiko suggested. She was trying her best not to show that she was trembling, which Yosuke knew wasn't from the natural cold of this labyrinth. "Speaking of which, it hasn't gone around to explaining it yet, has it?"
"Not unless it talks with its spells. Though it's not like that explains much, either," Yosuke said in a mildly joking manner.
Naoto, however, had a different opinion. She brought a contemplative finger to her chin, keeping her eyes on Orihara's Shadow. "Amagi-senpai has a point. As you all may recall, the Shadow mentioned that it was going to 'commence Round Two' in order to introduce its concept of a game to us. If that elaborate scheme to set up a fortress around this Niflheim and inflict Orihara-san with Apathy Syndrome was merely a part of its game, then we can't dismiss any of its actions as pointless too easily."
"Well, I wouldn't be surprised if he's actually thinking of a plan to escape," said Shinra, pushing his spectacles up the bridge of his nose. When asked what he had meant by that, he elaborated, "Roppi-kun did say something about leaving this place, and he seemed intent on getting Teddie-kun to help him with that, too. My guess would be that he's still keen on that idea, but since you're in his way..."
"I see. That sounds like the most probable explanation for its behaviour," Naoto noted with a brief nod, glancing in the Shadow's direction. "We should keep that in mind as we plan our next move."
"Okay, but you gotta act fast. I'm picking up something from it. I think it's..." Rise paused, and then she raised her voice, "What the— It's charging up for an attack!"
"Shit, was it listening in on us? The timing's way too convenient if you ask me," Yosuke said, preparing to go on the defensive.
"No time for thinking about that! Brace yourselves, guys, Mabufudyne incoming!"
Amagi didn't have to be told to raise her fan and shield herself from the block of ice forming around her body. Yosuke and Naoto were about to do the same, when they realised that Rise and Shinra were left in the open and no means to protect themselves from the human-sized ice block that had them encased.
Just as the ice was about to shatter, Yosuke wasted no time in calling out for his Persona. Almost simultaneously, Naoto summoned hers as well, and hurriedly told Rise to get both her and Shinra to safety, before firing a quick Agidyne that hit precisely at the moment of the Bufudyne's breaking. She clutched her right ribcage and almost collapsed forward, but willed herself to stand straight, and ended up wobbling on her feet. Yosuke, having been equally stricken by the attack, coughed and choked on his own breath, and Susano-O soon faded away, but not before leaving Rise and Shinra with the emergency Diarama as they teleported away from the area.
Yukiko was silent and breathless as she hurriedly called out for Amaterasu's assistance, bathing the three of them in a flash of warm light and returning Yosuke and Naoto their much needed stamina. The look on her face was something Yosuke had grown used to seeing, and that alone made his heart sink.
"Hey, look, Amagi—"
"I'm sorry," the manager of a family inn cut him off, lowering her head.
"It is no fault of yours, Amagi-senpai," Naoto responded, gently and quietly. "If you hadn't done that, the Shadow would've taken the window of opportunity to strike even harder. Our predicament would be far worse if that had happened."
"I... I know," Yukiko conceded, but Yosuke knew – he couldn't say he fully understood, but he did dabble a bit in healing after all – that the guilt wouldn't vanish just like that even at something a close friend had said. It made him feel even lousier than that one time he was forced to crossdress and stand before the entire student body of Yasogami High.
A memory flashed in his mind, and for a moment he was brought back to the time he and Souji were looking out the window of their apartment, noting the gloomy sky and the storm that was brewing on the horizon. He cursed himself, inwardly, for his glaring inability to hold to that promise he made with his partner.
"Don't lose your focus, guys! The enemy's heading straight for you!" Rise exclaimed, redirecting Yosuke's and his teammates' attention back to the main issue at hand.
"We'll talk about this later," Yosuke said. Though it probably wasn't her intention, Rise was right; this wasn't the time nor place for any of them to wallow in the frustration and mirth at their shortcomings. Besides, he'd been meaning to talk to his teammates, so it wasn't like he was making an empty promise, either.
Naoto did not reply at first. She swiftly checked her gun, then aimed it at the Shadow flying towards them. "Alright. At your word, Hanamura-senpai."
Yosuke nearly dropped his knives. "Wha... Me?"
He turned to Yukiko, with some hope that she was as puzzled as he was, but instead he found a rejuvenated Amagi who was already in her usual position, Persona card was floating in front of her. "We're ready when you are."
"Uh, huh? Wait, why me?"
"Hurry up, Yosuke-senpai!"
"O-okay, right, right," Yosuke stammered, shaking his head. There had to be some reason why they were all in sync with each other on this, he'd have to ask them later. He fleetingly wondered if it was just a girl thing, before he ordered with more certainty, "Amagi, burn the Shadow to crisp! Naoto, try a Garudyne! I'll see if physical attacks work on it."
Being the fastest of the three of them, Yosuke was able to summon his Persona and land a Brave Blade on the Shadow before Yukiko's fire and Naoto's wind struck it as well. The flurry of attacks and spells created a dust cloud that engulfed the Shadow's body, but when it cleared at the gust of the Shadow's wings, they found that it was still mostly unscathed.
"Does... Does it nullify our attacks?" Yukiko said.
"According to my scans, it does resist Fire, but it should be taking normal damage from Physical and Wind," Rise informed. "But its health doesn't seem to be going down any lower."
"What? Then what's keeping it up?" Yosuke asked.
There was a lapse in Rise's response; meanwhile the Shadow was remaining still once again, and keeping a close watch on them. "This could just be a hunch, but... Maybe, your blood..."
Yosuke could feel himself going a shade paler. "Ugh, don't tell me it actually drained our blood to give its own health a boost. That's just...wrong. And playing dirty."
"Not when there's no rule stipulating that it is," the Shadow spoke cheerily, sounding a bit too pleased about what it did.
"Oh, you're finally speaking," Yukiko said, though she was genuinely surprised about it. If it had been Yosuke, he would've said it in a more sarcastic tone.
"Hmm...? Oh, yes. So I am." The Shadow gave a low, broken cackle, like he was wheezing and laughing at the same time. "Forgive me, I must've been paying too much attention to my explanation that I had forgotten to speak."
Naoto's eyes brightened, as though an invisible bulb above her head had lit up. "I see, so that's how it is," she said, and she went on to elaborate before anyone could ask her to, "I had been wondering how this 'Round Two' was supposed to be a follow-up from the previous round, but after listening to what you said, it's all starting to come together. First, you allowed us to traverse the fortress that kept this place – the heart of the reflection of Orihara-san's thoughts – hidden and inaccessible. And in there, we were restricted in our use of certain items and blocked off from our support, and you trapped us while you set the fortress on fire, forcing us to participate in your game. In other words, 'Round One' referred to a game with a particular set of rules that had to be obeyed in order to make progress."
Though the Shadow did not indicate any sort of confirmation, and simply maintained a silent smirk, Yosuke and the others took it as a sign that Naoto was on the right track. "So, with the way this guy has been spamming attacks and making use of dirty tricks, that means Round Two is referring to a game where literally anything goes," Yosuke inferred, to which Naoto nodded.
"I suspect that to be the case, especially when it's supported by something you said earlier," the young detective said, looking in the Shadow's direction. "When Seta-senpai once asked you what the rules of the game were, you merely mentioned that it was to 'have fun'. That seemed to suggest that there weren't any particular rules when in fact we were still in Round One at that time. To put it simply, in the end you intended for us to meet you here in this forest to continue with your game, not at the fortress back then."
The Shadow's shoulders shook and the chains wrapped around it chimed as the edges of its stitched up lips reached the bottom of its hollow eye sockets. "You're as sharp as ever, Naoto-chan. Splendid deduction as always. I'd give you a prize, but you haven't quite answered my question."
Naoto didn't seem to be in the mood to humour it, but she did nonetheless. "A game...isn't simply an activity for participants to draw fun and enjoyment from. It has a system of rules that participants must follow, whether they agree to it or not. And this system is subject to any changes that the designer sees fit and the participants must still abide by."
"And doesn't that sound familiar to all of you?" The Shadow broadened its wings, as though they were a substitute for its bound arms, and gave a strong flap to keep itself airborne. "Yes, that's right. That's life, isn't it? Everyone has their share of ups and downs in their everyday lives, but regardless of what they face, life still goes on, right? There's no arguing or bargaining with what's handed to you. You either take matters into your hands to try to change the outcome, or you don't and you hope things tide over for you. It's a gamble no matter which you choose."
Yosuke rubbed the back of his neck. "Uh... We haven't even said anything," was all he could reply. He had to admit, the Shadow had a point there. So much so, that it almost felt like Yosuke was listening to a real person speak, and not some manifestation of pent-up thoughts and feelings gone crazy. Hachimenroppi fitted that better.
"Wait," Yukiko spoke. "Are you trying to say that Orihara-san feels like reality is holding him back? That he's taking a gamble with some problem reality has posed him with?"
"Heh. Ironic, isn't it?" The Shadow's smile turned wry and bitter. "For someone who has been instigating some of those ups and downs in other people's lives to actually be caught up in his own? And the so-called way out is to secure a ticket to some Valhalla pipe dream? It's so ridiculous, I could only keep on laughing as I gave him a taste of what he's always been wishing for."
"That... What do you mean by that?" Naoto questioned sternly, but Yosuke knew as well as she did the only possible thing it could be referring to.
The Shadow replied with an Evil Smile.