What I'm Missing
Sariah Loire
Chapitre Thirty-Five

Skip Beat! and its characters, locations, terms, etc, do not belong to me.
This story began on the day of Act 151, February 15th. It follows the first 151 Acts exactly, and is a direct continuation of Skip Beat!'s main story. If you need back info, please read the official story.

If Kyoko had been the same person she was a year ago, she would have been able to work at Daruma-ya the evening right after Ren informed her that he wished for them to not be seen together. She would have probably done so with a vengeful heart, and have been surrounded by her flock of demons, all jeering and plotting how they were going to get back at the actor that had so effectively gotten rid of her. And she could have handled that fine, again, if it had been the previous year.

But in the time since she had met the many people she interacted with on a nearly-daily basis, Kyoko had begun to change. She herself hadn't begun to realize it until her mother rejected her. Surrounded by Kuu, Juli, President Takarada, and even Ren, Kyoko took inventory of the important things she had in her life, knowing that it was more than ever before.

Sho's rejection a year ago had hurt her deeply, and it had taken away the confidence she felt when it came to loving someone, and hoping for that love in return. But despite the hurt she had felt, the anger in her heart at his betrayal just made it that much easier to deal with. She had clung to that anger, believing it was the only thing keeping her from going back to the cowering, meek girl who knew only how to live for others' purposes.

When her mother rejected her, Kyoko knew it was only thanks to Ren that she had made it through without trying to at least search her mother out, one last time. She knew she wasn't wanted, but that didn't stop her from wishing once again, even if it was only for a moment, that there was something she could do to earn her mother's love again. But the events that happened that night, at the Takarada Estate, drove those thoughts far, far from her mind. Until the events that she had just faced, that is.

Kyoko felt as if she had been lying in bed for days, but a quick look at her phone let her know that it had not even been two hours since she had arrived back at the restaurant. Okami-san had been worried when she saw the tear tracks on Kyoko's face, but she had let the matter go after telling Kyoko that she was to take the evening off. Without protesting, Kyoko had made her way up to her room where she collapsed onto her futon, clothes and all.

In that hour, Kyoko was sure she had cried out every drop of water that her body held. But every time she thought of Ren again, the tears started afresh. She knew a new haircut, or a whole makeover, wouldn't stop this pain. 'B-But why? Why does it hurt so much more than it did when Sho threw me away? Or even when Mother rejected me?'

She rubbed her eyes, feeling new trickles running out of each of them. Kyoko pulled her cover up to her nose, willing herself to wake up from the bad dream this day had been. 'Where are my demons, with the anger that helped me before? I could be mad at M-Mr. Tsuruga, just like I was with Sho. I could h-hate him, and vow to get revenge. But…' Kyoko knew, without having to sort it out or 'solve' the problem, that she didn't want to have that kind of anger directed at Ren. She didn't think she could. But she also knew the reason why her heart refused to let her vow revenge against the man who had pushed her away.

Kyoko was completely, and wholly, in love with Ren Tsuruga.

Juli found herself at the entrance to the Daruma-ya, a little afraid of what she might face when she opened the door. If her short amount of time with Kyoko had taught her anything, one of the things was that the subject of love was one that Kyoko didn't broach on her own, with no prodding. And Juli knew she should be well prepared if she was going to have to talk to the girl about it for any length of time.

She drew a deep breath and pushed the door to the restaurant open. The Okami-san was wiping her hands off on a rag, and the woman looked slightly concerned at the sight of Juli. They had briefly met each other when Juli and Kuu picked Kyoko up for the Kyoto trip, but it had been little more than a brief introduction. Juli had seen plainly how much Kyoko meant to the restaurant owners, though, and she couldn't help but feel a little wistful.

"Good evening, I'm sorry to drop in unannounced." Juli bowed low, surveying the restaurant. So far, no one seemed to have given her entrance any thought. Hopefully she was disguised well enough to get rid of the suspicion she was sure to draw with her foreign looks. "I need to speak with Kyoko, if she's available."

The Okami-san glanced at the stairs behind her, then back at Juli. "Please, come this way, first." She led Juli to the back of the restaurant; Juli assumed it was so that their conversation wouldn't disturb the customers. The woman handed her a small cup of tea, and turned to look Juli in the eye. "Mrs. Hizuri, I asked you to come back here so we couldn't be overheard by Kyoko. She would only feel worse if she knew that we were all worrying about her, so I have to ask you this: Do you know what happened to her? Why she showed up on my doorstep looking as if she was going to break down at one harsh word?"

Juli sipped the tea, feeling the familiar pang of guilt she had been experiencing ever since she had been given the news of Ren's actions. 'I thought my days of apologizing for Kuon's actions were long over with.' "I have an idea, which is why I'm here. I haven't known Kyoko for very long, certainly not as long as you and your husband have, but she means the world to Kuu and myself. If there's anything I can do to help her through this, I wish to do it."

Okami-san nodded, reaching out a hand for the now-empty tea glass. "Please let me know if there's anything I can do. Her room is up the stairs, the second door." She bowed in thanks, and led Juli back to the staircase off the kitchen. Juli took another deep breath and traversed the stairs, seeking out the room from which soft sobs could be heard.

"Kyoko?" She tapped on the door softly, almost losing her nerve. She listened for a minute, but there was no change, except the sound of the sobs quieted even more. "Kyoko, it's Juli. Can I come in?" She heard the soft patter of footsteps, and in a few seconds, the door to her room opened, and Kyoko stood in the doorway.

At the sight of the girl, Juli had to force herself not to fall into tears as well. Kyoko's face was red and blotchy, and her eyes were swollen. Kyoko glanced up at Juli, then down to the floor, her hair falling into her eyes. "G-Good evening, Mrs. Hizuri."

"Can I come in?" She didn't expect the girl to turn her down, but it wouldn't hurt to ask her permission before storming the room. Kyoko nodded and stepped aside, allowing Juli to enter the room. Juli stepped through the doorway, taking in the modest surroundings. There weren't many decorations, so she couldn't help notice the two posters hanging on the opposite wall. 'She's got a photo of Kuon? And that Fuwa boy? From the way she spoke about him in Kyoto, I was sure she wouldn't want to see his face every day.'

"I'm s-sorry for the mess." Kyoko motioned towards her rumpled futon, and the various items that were thrown out across the room. "I've been… preoccupied the last couple of days. I w-was planning on cleaning today, but then-" Juli watched as the girl fought hard against crying, but she was quickly losing the battle.

"I know what happened, Kyoko." Her head shot up, looking at Juli with wide, nervous eyes. Juli reached out a hand to steady her. "Someone overheard you both at the filming set, and word got back to me. I'm sorry."

Kyoko dropped her head again, silently shuffling across the floor to the kotatsu. Juli followed her, taking a seat across from the girl. Kyoko folded her hands on the table, opening and closing a tiny pouch without really seeing it. "T-There's nothing for you to be sorry for, Mrs. Hizuri. I-It's just a work situation; Mr. Tsuruga has his image to be worried about, that's a-all."

"Then why are you crying over it?" Juli's gentle words hit Kyoko a little deeper than she intended them to. Kyoko stared at her; the pouch slipped out of her hands and hit the table in between them. Kyoko's eyes followed the pouch, and she brought her arms up to the table, and buried her head in them. 'Ah, she must have finally realized it. Not that it's a surprise, her eyes shown adoration for Kuon ever since I met her.' "Kyoko, do you love him?"

Kyoko stayed silent for so long, Juli thought she wouldn't answer at all. Finally, from under the arms that were covering Kyoko's face, a small, scared voice seeped through. "Y-Yes." It sounded as if she was crying again. "B-But how can I? M-Mr. Tsuruga is… he's my mentor, and even more than that, he's- he's incredibly famous. It's like he said, w-we shouldn't even be s-seen together."

'Kuon, I'm going to make sure you spent the rest of your life making this up to her.' "Kyoko, that's not-" Juli was reaching her hand out to try and comfort the girl, but managed to knock the small pouch off of the kotatsu. "Oh, dear, I'm sorry. I…" She trailed off as a familiar blue stone rolled out of the pouch and onto the floor, reflecting the lights shining from the ceiling.

Less than an hour later, Juli stepped out of the restaurant briefly, phoning Kuu as soon as she was sure no one was within earshot. She knew that the event she had just been told could only be counted as fate, but she didn't trust herself to break the news to Kyoko. There was only one person she would let tell the girl, and it was one who was desperately waiting by his phone.

The phone call hadn't ended before Kuu was rushing to find a car. He drove as fast as he could through the streets of Tokyo, trying to get to Kyoko's side as soon as possible. The three words that ended the call only left him wishing he could go even faster. "Kyoko needs you."

Kyoko heard the soft knock at her door again, and it swung open to reveal Kuu. He wasn't disguised, and he looked to Kyoko as if he had run here without giving his appearance any thought. He pulled off his sunglasses and smiled softly at Kyoko, the fine skin wrinkling around his eyes and mouth. When he held out his arms, that was all the invitation Kyoko needed.

She flew out of her futon, where she had returned to at the request of Juli, nearly throwing herself into the arms of the only man she ever thought of as a father. He responded, not by pushing her away, but by cradling her close, wrapping his long arms around her shoulders and head. He patted her head softly, drawing more tears from her swollen eyes. "It's okay, Kyoko." The use of her proper name made her stiffen for a moment, but she let it go without objection. "Now, dry those tears so we can talk, okay?"

Kyoko nodded, wiping her eyes with her wrinkled sleeves. Kuu shook his head, pulling out a handkerchief and mopped her face with it. He led her to the kotatsu, where Juli was sitting, clutching her phone nervously. After they both took their seats, Kuu reached for the stone that was lying on the table, and examined it. "Juli told me that this is precious to you?" Kyoko nodded, wondering why her stone was drawing so much attention. Juli had almost begged her to tell her where she got it from, when she first saw it. Kuu reached out his hand and gave her the stone back. "This may sound strange, but would you tell me who you got it from?"

Clutching the stone to her chest, Kyoko raised an eyebrow at Juli. 'Is this why she left the room? To tell Father about the stone?' "I-I got it when I was six, when I lived in Kyoto." She closed her eyes, remembering every detail of the day Corn had left her.

"Who gave it to you?" She hadn't given Juli all of the details, and now the woman wanted to know more.

"Why don't you tell us the whole story, Kyoko?" Kuu laid his hand on Juli's, glancing at her sideways. "That way I can hear it all firsthand." Kyoko nodded, straightening up a little. 'Corn, you won't mind me telling two more people about you, right? They'll believe in you, I know they will.'

"When I was six, I was in the forests outside of the inn I grew up in. You remember those forests you came in to find me and Mr. Tsuruga?" They both nodded. "Well, I was trying to find somewhere to get away from my… my mother, when I walked into a clearing in the forest. It had a beautiful stream running through it, but even more beautiful than that was the b-boy who was in the clearing."

Kuu and Juli exchanged another look, but Kuu motioned for Kyoko to continue."He told me he was a fairy. His eyes and hair were so light; I still don't believe he could have been from this world." Kyoko looked down, turning the stone over in her hands. "He was the most kind, gentle person I've ever met. He listened to my problems, and he let me cry when there was no one else I could turn to." She drew in a deep breath, thinking of the memory of the boy's soft voice that had comforted her so many times throughout the years. "He told me of his own life, but mainly he listened. But then… then he went away."

She scrubbed furiously at her eyes, trying to stop herself from crying again. "He left me, and went back to his home. I don't know where he is, or if he's okay, or… or anything. It's been over ten years, and Corn still hasn't come back."

"Corn?" Kuu's voice sounded odd, he was staring at the stone as if it would speak if he stared hard enough. "The boy's name was Corn?" Kyoko nodded, wondering why the Hizuris looked so incredulous. "What did he look like?"

"H-He had light blonde hair, like Mrs. Hizuri's. And his eyes were pale blue, very pale." Kuu's mouth had opened slightly, and he looked as if he didn't know whether to believe Kyoko or not. "W-What's wrong? Why do you want to know about Corn?" 'Maybe it was wrong to share my precious memory with them? What if they laugh?'

"It was… almost eleven years ago." Kuu finally looked as if he was in control of himself; he rubbed his temples, sighing deeply. "Juli, myself, and our son came to Kyoto on vacation. We were busy meeting all of the press that was covering my return to this country, so our son escaped the hotel every day to find somewhere to play. He knew the problems that would come if everyone found out he was a celebrity's son, so he would have never told anyone who he really was."

"You were in Kyoto back then? But-"

"Do you remember my son's name, Kyoko?" Kuu leaned forward, reaching out a hand and clasping her hand that held the Corn stone. "The boy who I told you was beautiful, athletic, intelligent and all those other qualities? The one who people said shared his mother's beauty, considered almost 'out of this world'?"

"O-Of course. His name was Ku… on." She stopped; a sick feeling was growing in the pit of her stomach. 'He's not trying to tell me what I think he is…'

"Kuon. Or Corn, when it's spoken by a boy who grew up in America and was visiting Japan for the first time in his life." He met her eyes, she searched for laughter or any signs of joking in them, but she couldn't find any. "Kyoko, it was our son you met. Kuon. Did he give you that stone? He had it for years, but he said he lost it during our vacation."

"I always wondered how he lost something that he had kept so dearly for so long." Juli's voice only added to Kyoko's growing distress. 'T-They wouldn't both be lying, why would they? They recognized Corn as soon as they saw it; Mrs. Hizuri knew the stone right away. But-'

"Y-You told me you hadn't seen Kuon since he was fifteen, Father." Kyoko's heart was begging for one of them to laugh, to do anything but tell her the facts that she already knew. "You said he was… that he was gone!"

Kuu dropped his eyes, staring at his hands. "That's right, Kyoko. Kuon… Kuon left us when he was fifteen years old. We never got to say goodbye-"

Kyoko was on her feet before she even knew what she was doing. She backed a few steps away from the kotatsu, shaking her head in disbelief. 'N-No, not Corn. Corn can't be… he can't!' She stepped away until she felt the doorknob jabbing her in the back. She blocked out the concerned voices of the two others in her room, and she did the only thing she knew to do.

She ran.

Sari*