Casey was looking as fizzled out and worn down as the rest of, his eyes were shadowed nearly as fiercely as mine, yet no where as badly as Paige's and his normally neat and professional hair was disheveled, showing signs of being raked through in both frustration and anxiety. His tanned skin looked pale despite it's self and his regularly clean shaven face was showing a substantial amount of stubble that he couldn't be bothered to take care of in the crisis at hand. His muscles were weak, barely able to carry his stature in light of the over exhaustion and his face looked rather drawn. This event had easily aged him at least five years and they were not good years to say the least.

When we came into the room he'd been sitting at Bridget's side, exactly where we'd left him some hours before, his arms were crossed tightly across his stomach and his chin rested against his chest as a low grumble vibrated through him while Bridget slept in her hospital bed. His position was slightly awkward and his muscles showed no sign of relaxing which meant his rest would do nothing to relieve his aches. Paige had crossed to him and ran a gentle hand down his arm as she spoke to him very gingerly and he had bolted up, his body instantly going into action, his eyes shooting open as he tried to stand and he spoke in a groggy and startle tone asking what was wrong and demanding he was awake.

Paige had smiled softly and spoke calmingly at his frazzled behavior and I couldn't help but smile as well because his actions were a clear indicator of how deeply he loved his wife and how disheveled he was by the thought of her being ill. She had told him it was okay to go home and insisted upon it when he'd resisted while running a hand over his face in an attempt to wipe away the grog and confusion; but it wasn't that long before his submitted and finally took his keys to leave, promising to send a text when he made it home.

Once he was gone, she made a point of occupying his single occupancy chair at her mother's side, being sure to keep space between us and even though I'd expected after the painfully silent car ride over it was a completely undesired action. I didn't really understand what was happening between us, it seemed like we were taking steady stride backwards as I attempted to move forward. Her distance was a painful thing to swallow and the more I watched her in the dim glow of the machines from the other side of Bridget the harder it was to not speak to her, to not tell her all the insanely passionate things that were burning in my chest but I didn't want to talk until she addressed me. She'd laid her head at her mother's side, her hand resting on her arm, her position unnatural and insanely awkward but judging by the still deep bruises beneath her eyes and the soft snore that was just audible under the mask of the noisy machines, she'd let sleep take her now because it couldn't after their activities.

I watched her sleep for what seemed like an eternity, thinking about how this was not the present I had imagined after we'd moved so amazingly together but I gathered perhaps it was just hopeful delusion that had me believing that our carnal actions were anything more then instinctual and a coping mechanism but rather an indicator that we were somehow starting a new. Regardless of what her take was, I refused to accept that forever would remain this way and when the time was right, I would do whatever I had to make us "us" again.

My eyes didn't leave her and my mind didn't cease until Bridget's still croaky whisper of a voice startled me some time later- I hadn't even thought she was awake and I couldn't know how long she had been, "Thank you for coming Jake dear-it really means more to us then you know. You're sweet boy." I smiled softly at her, trying hard to mask my surprise at her gentleness seeing as I was sure she'd have the same distaste for me that Casey did in the light of what happened between me and Paige. "You don't have to thank me Bridget, of course I came," I said softly as I turned my body towards her more and forced the tension in my shoulder to alleviate some. "I knew you would love, I was sure of it," she said as she raised her hand in a painstakingly slow manner because of her exhaustion and extended it towards me to ask that I hold it for comfort.

I straightened up steadily and leaned towards her so I could take her soft hand in mine as I spoke in a gentle whisper, "I came as soon as I heard." She squeezed my hand gingerly, the strength of it all she could muster in her frail state, and smiled warmly, the act putting some much needed light in her gray washed face and making her eyes shimmer happily as her voice came in a meek croak, "I know you did love."

There was a warm and comfortable silence between us for several breaths as we smiled at each other, a shared affection coursing between us with no need to talk because we were comfortable enough to sit in silence. Bridget's eyes fluttered close for a moment and I believed that soon it would only be me awake for some time to follow, so I let my eyes drift back down to Paige's beautiful profile that stood out magnificently against the white of the hospital blanket. I smiled softly to myself at how peaceful she looked while she slept, there wasn't a hint of all the anguish I knew she felt while she was awake and she had a peaceful energy vibrating from her. I let her serenity calm me for the first time since I'd woken up and pushed all the complications out of my mind so that I too could have a little peace. As the soothing energy washed over me, there was another gentle squeeze around my hand followed by Bridge's astonishingly sweet voice in light of her exhaustion, "You know she's happy you're here too, she might not say it love but she is-she needed you with her more then you could know since I've been putting the poor thing through such hell."

I turned my eyes to her shamefully because I knew she knew there was a clear tension between us, a presence of anxiety in my behavior and spoke to her with more doubt in my tone then I meant to, "I don't know if that's entirely true…" My voice fell off, my expression going uncertain and wounded as the thought that maybe I should have been a bit more resistant when she'd awaken with her body on mine and the realization that maybe it was too soon for that ran clearly through my eyes. She shook her head very softly, the movement very minute but still rather clear as she wrinkled her nose slightly-the expression reminding me of her daughter-and gave me another squeeze while she cleared her throat quietly before holding my eyes steadily and speaking with conviction, "She might not be able to admit to even herself yet but I assure you she did-no, she does. Regardless of what happened you're the one she'd forgive of anything and I can tell by the way you look at her you'd do anything to make her forgive you so there is no need to worry love."

Her words tugged at my heart, made a knot form in my instantly dry throat and as I shook my head in genuine protest and attempted to clear the obstruction from my throat so I could respond she cut me off with adamancy, "I know this whole thing isn't right love-it may just be my self preservation talking and if it is please tell me but I couldn't never believe you wanted this and the more I see you with her the less I believe you gave up on what the two of you have." I couldn't speak, couldn't believe how spot on she was or the faith she had in my character and integrity; she was the one who knew me the least yet out of everyone she was the only one who knew me the best. She wasn't wrong and I was not one to lie so, I said nothing at all but my eyes must have spoke volumes because she smiled with a soft satisfaction and a cloud of heartbreak before she spoke again. Her voice was more tender then I'd ever heard it before, the tone so motherly it sang chords to the statement Paige had repeated to me that was uttered many years ago-she was meant for this role, born to be a Mommy, "I know you've needed to say this since that day-say it, I am listening Jakey." No one had ever called me that before, the nature of it was so maternal that I couldn't help but have an immense amount of trust in her words and before I could even think of a response, it was flowing from my lips as tears threatened to fall from my eyes, my voice quivering softly, "I never chose Bella, it was always Paige, it will always be Paige and I won't be okay until I've fixed us."

She smiled as the words filled her mind, showing a clear pleasure in the way they sounded and drew my hand that was linked with hers slowly to her lips so she could press them lovingly to my skin as her words came softly, "Keep going Jakey." My words continued fluidly without hesitation, my inner turmoil seeping from my mouth without thought, the need to say the words and finally have them heard by someone else overriding my reserve and strength, "I've tried a million times to fix it, tried to tell her more times then is sane but she wont hear me and it's killing me-like literally knotting my insides until the pain is so unbearable that I know nothing but it and the only thing that is going to make the pain stop is her- I'll never be anything but this broken shell of myself without her. They say time heals everything but they fucking lie! I could live another 80 years and it wouldn't be long enough to heal this but 8 seconds of holding her and knowing that she's mine would make ever fiber of it vanish-would erase every minute I've been without her."

She gave me a disheartened smile, the sign that she felt my heart wrenching brokenness in her own chest but there was also an underlying sparkle of satisfaction from hearing the words that she herself had always known to be true. She spoke gently, the coarseness of her voice barely audible to me any longer as I focused only on her words, hanging on every single one, "I don't need to know what really happened sweetie but she does and once she knows the truth she'll heal you while you heal her. Trust me Jakey it will all work out beautifully as long as you don't give up on her because she's been forced to give up on you and it's killing her. The truth will save you both I promise." My eyes held hers as several breaths were filled with silence because I couldn't speak, I didn't know what to say at first, was taken so aback by how adamant she was in the perfection I knew we had together and once I could finally answer I could only speak weakly, "She's not ready to for the truth-I can't because she has too much going on to hear me."

She answered quickly her words forceful and her tone demanding, "Then you make her hear you Jake because she does need to hear it now because she has so much going on-she need good in her life to wash out the bad and you're her good, the best medicine for her heartache. I know my stubborn pig headed daughter Jacob and she needs you to make her hurt less and she's going to resist to protect herself but you have to make her listen because that's where her healing will start even if she doesn't know it." The force she put behind her words tired her, caused her breaths to come jaggedly and made her chest heave in a staggered manner. She closed her eyes softly as she tried tediously to regulate her own breathing, to calm herself down some and within several deep inhalations, she had managed to steady herself but the event took too much from her and she didn't even open her eyes as she spoke again, this time her throat sounding raw and crackled as her words came in breathes, "Promise me you'll make her listen Jakey."

I studied her profile, sweeping my eyes along it while I digested the entirety of what she had said and as I responded I tightened my grip comfortingly on her hand and let my eyes drift back down to the angel we were talking about, my words soft yet sturdy, "I promise Bridget." "Good," she said in barely a breath as she smiled softly before turning her face towards mine while squeezing my hand once more before she released a deep sigh. Nothing else was said between us because nothing else had to be said, I'd made her a promise and she trusted my words.

It wasn't long before they both slept, leaving me with only my own thoughts and nothing besides silence filled time to plan my course of action. I swore to myself that I'd do it soon, that the first opening I saw I'd take and I let myself believe that there was no way that it could go any other way then perfectly-I had to believe it because I wouldn't be able to stomach anything less.