I am SO sorry. My tests were so much work and I already failed one :C
I studied so hard and I completely blacked out the moment I read the first assignment.

And the second thing is, I wanted this chapter to turn out perfect.

And I made it really long, to make up for the time I didn't update.

And now that it's finished you are going to kill me.

I am so sorry.

I'm going to hide now.

Another chapter next week!

I'm seriously hiding now.

Don't kill me.

What the hell had I done?

I gasped for air as I bit back the sob that was begging to spill.

Didn't I foresee this in the back of my mind? Did I not realize the effect this could have? Couldn't I have figured this out beforehand? But nooo, I had realized it at the wrong moment. I realized what I was doing only a second after and then it was already too late.

The candle-holder clattered to the floor noisily when I took a sharp turn. My lips trembled as I desperately ran through the halls cautiously. Hoping that I wouldn't even catch a glimpse of a guard. Because in all honesty, it probably looked as if I was slowly slipping into madness. And maybe I was.

With every passing minute the tight feeling in my chest was getting worse. I could practically feel it stretch down towards my stomach, legs, shoulders, feet and fingertips. And when it reached my head the desperation hit me full force.

I let out a pained sob as I threw the door to my bedchambers open. With trembling fingers I begrudgingly forced myself to lock the door before letting myself slide down towards the floor.

What the hell was I thinking?

My hands formed into a tight fist as I thought of what to do.

Thinking? I wasn't thinking. I wasn't thinking at all. I rushed into it and let my control snap for just one second. Different emotions coiled inside my stomach. And to my horror the one emotion that stood out was embarrassment. One I had become quite acquainted with over this short span of time.

But this was just awful. I was so goddamn mortified and at the same time I was utterly furious with myself.

As I recovered and finally caught my breath, reality slammed me to the ground even harder. The tightness around my chest was gone, but somehow it wasn't a relief.

For a long long long time I just sat there on the floor not knowing what to do. My fingers grabbed the hair closest to my scalp as I went over every detail. Rewinding them, observing them and basically trying to make sense of it all.

I had been so wrapped up in my own pride and selfishness that I did the one thing I promised myself not to do. Especially today.

I was such an idiot.

And by now I craved singing along with David Bowie songs and a bucket full of ice-cream.

I groaned again as I couldn't muster up any more tears. Because the worst of it all was that it wasn't just going to haunt me. It was going to haunt everyone. And somehow I just knew that I was in for nothing but torture.

'How you turned my world, you precious thing.~'

Such an idiot.

'You starve and near exhaust me.~'

Addy you idiot.

'Everything I've done, I've done for you. I move the stars for no one~'

Let's rewind a bit.

Let's rewind back for about… 20 hours.

Yeah. 20 hours sounds just about right.

20 hours

As I obediently followed Elmont I had the distinct feeling of being babysat once again. But funnily enough I also got the feeling neither of us knew the way. As we turned another corner and Elmont's expression turned more serious by the moment, I was about to burst into a fit of loud obnoxious laughter. Luckily for both of us we ran into a maid. It was quite interesting how every single maid I encountered had worn similar costumes.

The maid with bright red curls under her cap looked quite upset when I asked where my bedchambers were. As if I was initiating to do dirty things in there with a certain goateed escort!

…That thought wasn't as funny as I initially thought it would be.

I managed a quick goodbye as the maid reeled me off to my bedchambers. When we entered a hallway through a familiar door (But in my opinion every door in here looked identical) I barely dodged the blond little girl from earlier running through the hallways.

As I entered my room I immediately decided I liked it a great deal more than my room in Cloister. It wasn't that large and it felt alive. As if somebody had actually walked, talked and lived in this room a long time ago.

With a light smile I walked over to my bed and folded my legs under me. The nausea had passed but the warmth of the fever still clung to my forehead.

Just as I was about to rid myself of my fancy dress there was a rapping on the door. With a grunt I pulled my dress back up. Somehow I couldn't help looking disheveled when I opened the door. The maid at the door bowed lightly 'Would my lady require a basin of water before you retire for the night?'.

Technically it was already night, but I managed to keep my mouth shut.

'Yes, thank you.' I said, not missing the way the maid gave me a once over before speaking again.

'Will my lady need assistance?' she spoke again, probably doubting my dressing skills and not my bathing skills.

I stepped aside for the other maids to come in carrying warm water 'I think I will manage, but thank you.' I mumbled.

The maid dipped into a faint curtsey before retreating back towards the door. There I caught a glimpse of Isabelle being escorted into the room across from mine. She didn't see me though and I didn't have a chance to call out to her since the maid closed the door behind her quietly.

As soon as she did I all but yanked the dress away from my body. Leaving me only in my underdress. A massive wave of drowsiness swept over me as I sat on the edge of the tub and soaked my feet.

I gazed at the tub and back to my bed contemplating the pros and cons of each. However, another idea crept into my mind when I pulled the underdress over my head along with everything else. The water was hot and burned into my skin. But despite the high temperature I continued to scrub myself off very thoroughly. By the time my skin turned pink I jumped out of the tub and looked around for a nightgown. But the moment I spotted one I hesitated.

Maybe this was the nightgown of the duke's sister. And if it was, why would she have left it behind? It was more likely it once belonged to a dead ancestor who lived in this gigantic house.

Cautiously I lifted the gown as if a dead body could drop out of it at any moment.

And (of course) the next thing I knew, there was another gentle knock on the door. Which startled me real bad. After that I panicked since I didn't have anything on yet.

Another set of knocks against the door.

I blinked at the gown, momentarily disoriented. But the dilemma between greeting the person naked and wearing a dead woman's nightgown was quickly solved as I pulled it over my head.

Sorry old dead lady.

18 hours

My stomach gave a tug of sadness when I looked at Isabelle's face. Sure, she looked beautiful as always. But her eyes showed a deep weariness that somehow seeped into my bones.

She didn't have to say anything, I simply took a step to the left and Isabelle entered my room.

'So.' I started as I watched the princess moving in the room 'Do you want me to get Jack?'.

Isabelle stopped near the window before turning towards me 'It is frowned upon if you do.' She spoke uncertainly.

Right. I forgot about that.

'Do you want me to get somebody else?' I asked again after a few moments.

She shook her head as she sank onto a bench near the fireplace.

'Do you want to talk about it?' I questioned. Tilting my head to the side at the same time.

Isabelle tensed a bit despite her fatigue. And I wasn't sure if that meant a no or a yes.

'Do you wanna have a sleepover?' I let out a yawn right after, almost forgetting to cover my mouth.

That made Isabelle smile a little 'I have not had one of those ever since I was a little girl.'

I ungracefully plopped myself on the enormous bed and patted the place next to me with a grin. To be honest I didn't really remember my last slumber-party either. Usually my friends and I would get drunk and I would forget what happened the next day… Or why I was lying on the staircase with a frying pan on my head.

'So I was thinking,' I started to lighten up the situation 'there must have been some sort of reason why I ended up in Gantua with all of you.'

The corners of Isabelle's lips turned upwards as she took a seat next to me.

I rubbed my now cold feet, frowning in the process 'I mean it could have been for my awesome giant-slayer skills. But that didn't really turn out well. Or it could be because I'm dead or have gone insane in my world. Or that I have some other glorious purpose which includes me being really impressive with my sword.' I rambled.

'So here's my next question,' I said as I sat up straight 'if I was sent here for a purpose, do you think I'll be sent back?'

'Do you want to be sent back?' Isabelle frowned, waiting patiently for my answer.

Did I?

'I think so.' I admitted 'Yes.' I nodded confidently before frowning 'Well maybe. I don't know.'

'Do you miss your family?'

'Well yes, they are my family of course.' I sighed, plucking at my old-dead-lady-nightgown.

'So what is holding you back?'

Elmont

Jack

Elmont

You

Elmont

Elinor

Elmont

the King

And just about everyone else.

The environment.

And the adventures.

And Elmont.

And my sword-teaching.

I would miss that.

And Elmont.

'I think you would feel better if you just told someone.'

'I'm telling you aren't I?'

Isabelle laughed before standing up and took a few steps towards the door.

'Do you like swords?' she asked with a special gleam in her eyes.

I raised an eyebrow 'Yeah? Why?' I eyed her up and down worryingly 'You don't have a bunch of swords underneath that robe do you?'

'Wait here!'

'This is a slumber party! You can't just… 'un-slumber' and run away like-'

Slam.

Well. That went okay. I guess.

Suddenly I wondered if it was okay to be talking that much. Because I really was a bit of a chatterbox and never seemed to give anybody the opportunity to talk about 'their thing'.

As I let myself fall backwards on the bed, the door opened and Isabelle walked in with two toy wooden swords in her arms.

I almost squealed in joy.

'I found these in my room.' She breathed as she handed me one 'It was a rather large room, so perhaps it belonged to the children once.'

I inspected the very short wooden sword and immediately felt like I was 5 years old again.

'I think my room belongs to an old dead lady.'

Isabelle eyed me in confusion before straightening up and taking a deep bow.

I almost fell off of the bed trying to do the same thing.

16 hours

I now officially sucked more than anyone else in the kingdom. For the longest time I had assumed that the princess didn't know how to handle a sword since she was being looked after by Elmont every day of her life.

But apparently Elmont had been teaching her the basics since she was 12 and now she was giving me advice in how to dodge and strike.

'Are you sure you should be doing this with your baby and all?' I huffed when I barely caught my sword before it would fall to the dark wooden floor.

Isabelle skillfully switched the wooden sword to her other hand, smiling as I watched in jealousy. 'It will be fine. As long as we don't actually fight each other.'

As I tried to do the same trick by throwing the sword into the air, I frowned. 'So what do you think about all of this?'

Isabelle sighed as she watched me try to perform the same trick. 'I do not know. At the very least I am happy Jack is here with me. Although in another room.'

I smiled 'Because you love him.'

She nodded before placing a hand over her stomach.

Her pregnancy wasn't really showing beneath the heavy dresses tonight. But when she did flatten her dress I could see it. It wasn't all that obvious. It just looked as if she gained a little weight. Nothing more.

'How does it feel?' I asked. More referring to her having a baby than her being in love. She understood my question though.

'Frightening.' She answered 'I don't feel safe in the slightest and the only thing I am worried about is my child.'

I finally managed to catch my sword with the other hand with a smile before putting it down.

'Why don't you feel safe?'

Seriously, the duke was hardly going to bite her head off. Wich is why her answer surprised me so much.

'There are many reasons why I don't feel safe.'

'Then tell me.' I smiled, trying to get her to open up a bit more.

'I do not know.'

'Sure you do.'

'Addy…'

'Oh come on. I'll figure it out eventually!'

Isabelle threw her sword on my bed with a sigh, sitting back down next to it. I turned towards her with a frown.

'It's just that now I have Jack and my baby is here… I cannot go back to my old life.'

I raised a sceptical eyebrow 'Did you really like it that much?' I questioned.

'It was safer than it is now.' She buried her face in her hands briefly before looking back up at me. 'I am not a stupid girl. I know what will happen once my father dies, my baby gets born and I become queen.'

I grabbed her hand and gave it a small squeeze 'You're father is not dead yet. You know this.'.

When she didn't answer I took a seat next to her, not letting go of her hand.

'You are not failing. Y-yes you got captured by giants and big ugly thugs but that's not what you'll be remembered for! You will be an amazing queen who will be remembered as the woman who fought against an entire giant-race. And for saving her friend from the threats of a thief and murderer.' I let out a breath when I remembered that fairly tense situation back in the woods. 'You'll be remembered as the woman who, without any chance of coming out of this alive, threatened to nail everyone's head on her bedroom wall. The person who saved her friends. And you fell in love and will have 10 lovely babies who in their turn will be hero's and save their friends as well!'

Isabelle sent me a watery smile and squeezed my hand 'But my father-'

'That is just a small piece.' I sent her a grin before continuing 'It's just a small piece of the story.'

We remained silent for a while. Isabelle leaning against me and me holding her hand with one of my own.

The rain still splashed against the windows and it was strangely quiet in the estate. But then again, I didn't know what time it was.

I didn't think about time passing at all until the moment Elmont gave me a birthday present.

'You should tell Elmont.'

Could she read minds? Damn!

I froze before going into denial 'Why would I do that? Go sweet-talk him yourself!'

Isabelle purposely bit back a laugh as said 'Because I'm not the one who tells him all of my worries.'.

She paused before adding something under her breath.

'What was that?' I said while eyeing her suspiciously.

'And because I am not the one who needs to open up more towards him.'

'That's not what that sounded like.'

'That's nice.'

I sighed 'All the more reason for me not to go to him and encourage myself to open up. Everyone in Cloister already knows I'm nuts.'

Silence.

'Besides, he tied me up when I first met him. That hurt my feelings!'

Isabelle chuckled lightly.

8 hours

It was quite funny the way I had to sneak Isabelle out of my room the next morning. Especially since it was already daylight and the weather was absolutely gorgeous. And gorgeous days made me giddy and bubbly.

With a snort and a giggle I separated with Isabelle and saw her shut the door.

It took me quite some time to put my dress back on. But by now I had worn so many dresses, I figured it out after a few minutes. I even managed to lace myself up all on my own!

Breakfast was awkward. More than awkward. Sitting at the same large dinner table with everyone was just unreal. Usually I ate my breakfast alone or during the time I was in the infirmary. Sometimes Howard would join me, sometimes Elmont would join me but most of the time it was just me, myself and I.

The table was stacked with fresh bread, cakes, jams and dried fruit.

The only person missing was the duke.

One of the maids I saw yesterday explained the situation with an apology. Apparently he was away for business near the docks and had left early in the morning. He would meet us again in the midday for a lovely Sunday lunch.

'Which means we can't leave.' I remarked, earning another offended look from the maid and a soft kick against my feet underneath the table.

The windows were open and a cool breeze brushed over my face. My gut decided to tell me to go outside immediately. So when the same blonde girl opened up the door, once again asking a maid to come play with her, it brought a smile to my face.

I stood up making the little girl look up at me with glee, but I got pulled down by Elmont who was sitting next to me. And he made it very clear that he wasn't going to let me go outside before I ate at least two pieces of bread and one glass of milk.

'I do not want to take the risk to bring you back to Cloister half-starved.' Elmont added before passing me a glass.

Mumbling something incoherent I quickly downed my glass and took quick bites of the bread. Nobody decided to mention my bad manners, nobody cared or everyone was still half asleep.

I almost choked on a piece of bread the moment the outside of my thigh accidentally brushed against Elmont's.

Instead, it sent me into an embarrassing and never-ending coughing-fit. It was one of those really bad ones. The ones that every time someone asks you if you are okay, you could manage a 'I'm fine' only to start all over again.

Jack, who still had a bit of a bed-head, couldn't help laughing softly as I turned red.

One of the knights that had joined us on our journey (The one who actually listened to my stories every now and then) patted me on the back awkwardly.

I breathed out a thanks before stuffing the last piece of bread in my mouth, standing up and walking towards the door.

7 hours

'twenty…'

'nine-teen…'

'eight-teen…'

'seven-teen…'

A giggle was heard to my far left, although the rustling of leaves blended out most of the sound.

The bark against my hands was rough and smelled of spring. And although it was a bit chilly and it was hard playing hide and seek in a dress, it was the most fun I had in ages.

'ten…'

'nine…'

'eight…'

'seven…'

Somehow I also managed to make the knight who actually liked me, Charles (who I nicknamed Charlie), join us in the game of hide and seek.

When Mary and I played red light/green light, Charlie was still a bit hesitant. He simply stood there on the side in order to keep an eye on me. Probably Elmont's idea.

But Charlie was no match for Mary's bright blue eyes, and soon he too found himself wrapped around her little finger.

Mary, the blond haired girl had a thing for cheating every now and then. Which was totally okay with me, because so did I.

'Sixfivefourthreetwoone-readyornothereIcome!' I said in one fast breath as I twisted around, seeing nothing but the grass, a shed, the glittering water in the pond, a random bunch of trees every now and then and of course the estate.

No sign of Mary or Charlie.

I took a step towards the pond and heard a small giggle.

My lips twitched upward as I sneaked around it.

6 hours

'Found you, Addy!'

I scoffed.

'You're a cheater!' I exclaimed as Isabelle grabbed me by the arm with a laugh.

'You are the cheater here! You can't run away after you have been found! That is not playing by the rules!'

I let out a snort as she pulled me from the bushes. She plucked out a few leaves and twigs from my hair before bringing me over to the rest of the party.

By now almost all of us were playing. Except of course the other knight who didn't like me as much as Charlie, Elmont and three grumpy maids. And although our party initially played to be polite and nice towards Mary, it turned out we had the most fun.

'I say Addy has to count.' Jack spoke up.

'Whaaaaaaaat?' I whined as I pointed at Jack 'But Isabelle found you first!'

'But you cheat.' Jack scoffed, but his smile broke through eventually.

'I always cheat. If that's new to you, you really have a lot of problems.'

Mary squealed in joy as Charlie lifted her up and put her on his back. Proceeding to run away with one of the maids on their heels who pretended to be a bear.

'And it's not your say, it's Isabelle's say. So-' when I turned around to find Isabelle she was gone. She had run off towards grumpy knight and Elmont who stood near the estate, making sure we wouldn't do anything stupid.

'Elmont, play with us.' Isabelle pleaded as she tugged on his hand.

I shifted on my spot and Jack nudged me with his elbow.

'I will bet you 5 coins Elmont will find you first.'

Now it was my turn to scoff as I looked at him incredulously 'In your dreams, I'm the hiding queen.'

Jack bit back a smile 'So sayeth the queen.'

At first I wasn't entirely convinced Isabelle would be able to sway Elmont in the slightest. So to say that she baited him to play, was an understatement.

'I am afraid to disappoint you princess. There has to be at least one to make sure neither of you wander off into trouble with Mary.'

She tugged on his hand again 'Please?'

And right at that moment I knew it wouldn't take long before he would give in.

'You're on.' I said to Jack as I turned my attention back to Isabelle and Elmont.

Jack smiled smugly as he spoke up 'Come on Elmont. Just once!'

Isabelle nodded fiercely 'Yes! Just once!'

'I am not repeating myself again.'

'Please?'

'I will not-'

'Please?'

Elmont shot Isabelle a wry look. Oh. Of course that worked on him! The only thing I needed to do is turn into royalty and say please a lot.

When Elmont removed the sword from his waist and handed it to the other knight, Jack cheered loudly and it made me snicker.

'If it will get you to stop. Just once.'

Isabelle clapped her hands in joy before running back to Jack and me. 'Start counting Elmont!'

'Yes, count to one-hundred! ' I joined in before running off. Somehow I ran a lot faster than I usually did.

I saw Charlie put down Mary on the grass and I grabbed both their hands. I nudged at the group of trees that stood on my right.

Mary let out a giggle and let go of my hand, running there first.

'Addy wants to hide by the trees on the right!' she yelled over her shoulder, making me stand there all baffled. 'You troll!' I called out after her, making her giggle in the process.

Laughter was heard, but I wasn't sure to who it belonged.

'Don't cheat Addy!' Jack's voice echoed from my left. And when I turned around Charlie had gone too.

'Be quiet!'

All alone.

With no one to rat out.

And with a bet I had to win.

I made my way to the pond and ran towards the small cottage on the opposite side of the estate. That way I could still see Elmont and make sure I wasn't found. I hid behind the wooden walls as I peered through the trees around it.

The small shed hid me rather well, as did the scattered trees around it. Somehow my heart was beating twice as fast when Elmont finally turned around. I scurried further behind the shed, my fingers digging into the wood.

He took a few steps forward, not really walking in my direction but I could see him more clearly.

Would he come looking for me first?

Suddenly I felt an incredibly shy-ness come over me as I observed him through the trees.

His head snapped to the right as he stood still al of the sudden. Probably someone made some noise and Elmont took a few steps towards the small group of trees.

Luckily for me, he walked away from my hiding place.

I shut my eyes and a relieved sigh escaped my mouth. With a small smile I shook my head. Why was I disappointed? I won a bet!

My eyes peered between the trees again, trying to find Elmont.

Trying that is.

My eyes widened in panic and making some noise as I turned and looked around me.

No sounds.

No Elmont.

So where was he?

Shitshitshitshitshit

I turned around once again, being greeted with nothing but silence.

Desperately I tried to get my shit together and back up against the wooden shed. I forced myself to listen the best as I could when at the same time my eyes were wide open.

2 minutes went by.

5 minutes went by.

10 minutes went by.

I was surprised how long it took before I actually heard anything approaching. Yes, there had been that time 2 minutes ago when a bird suddenly flew from the bushes next to me, causing me to yelp.

But other than that it had been quiet.

Until now.

Other that the occasional sound of footsteps, I heard nothing. I didn't know which way it was coming from, I didn't know how fast it was approaching me and I didn't know who it was. He or she was positively trying to step on as little twigs as he or she could. And it pissed me off.

So now I had to rely on my eyes for most of the time.

When I finally caught a glimpse of Elmont coming in from the right, I was almost afraid it was too late.

He was striding between the trees. Not too quickly and very alert. As if savoring the chase.

He only needed to turn his head and I would have been in sight.

The anticipation built up as I took a step backwards, trying to make as little noise as possible when I sneaked to the other side of the shed.

Elmont stopped in his place and I knew I had to be quick. A light and knowing smile played on his face as if he knew exactly what I was trying to do. The exact moment he turned I had all but jumped out of his sight.

My heart thundering in my chest as I considered my escape-routes. Elmont was probably approaching behind me and to my right. If I ran to the left I would be out in the open field. So the only option was straight ahead.

God, I was taking this game way too seriously.

However, I wasn't prepared for the sudden sound to the left of me. The rustling of leaves and very close.

It had set me off as I took a sharp turn to my right, throwing my plans into the wind.

Why didn't I calculate him coming for me from the left?

Why didn't I think of that?

That was because he didn't.

I let out a loud yelp and a gasp as I ran straight into Elmont's chest the moment I turned around the shed.

'Found you.'

Apparently winning was the one of the things Elmont liked the most, because this was the first time I actually heard him laugh.

The clear sound took me off guard before I took a few steps towards the left, my intention to outrun him and by cheating winning the bet.

But apparently Elmont already expected me to not play fair. His smile not wavering in the slightest as he grabbed hold of my arm with one hand. Making me taking a step back.

I gazed up at him but I was unwilling to give up easily, so I quickly tried to twist my arm out of his grasp.

Again my attempts were futile as Elmont grabbed my other arm and without any effort pinned them against the wood of the shed.

The muscles of my abdomen contracted the moment he did pin me down, heat flaring in my body at his touch.

'Have you quite finished?' an amused look flashed through his eyes. He was definitely making fun of me.

I experimentally tugged at my wrists, but I couldn't free them.

'How did you do that?' I breathed heavily. Not that I had done a lot of running, but I certainly felt out of breath.

'Do what?' he asked, smile not fading.

Do what? I don't even remember anymore. And I don't care. Nor should you. Kiss me please.

But somehow logic got the better of me.

'That.' As I nodded towards the area I heard the sound that had me running into him.

Elmont smiled and my insides coiled again the moment I heard him exhale and felt his breath against my cheek.

He let go of one of my wrists and plucked a small stone from his pocket.

'Cheating.' Elmont answered, throwing the stone into the bushes as a low laugh rippled through him.

When he backed away I realized how close the two of us had been. He made sure my hand wasn't pinned to the hard wood but he didn't let go.

'Are you going to be a good girl or do I have to drag you with me?'

Nope. Bad girl. Wait what?

I was pretty sure I was turning an interesting shade of red. I wasn't sure what I was about to answer but I guess it was lucky that at that moment Mary had tripped over a tree root and started crying loudly.

4 hours

Every one of us all but ran towards the crying girl, but luckily it wasn't all that bad. Her right knee had a scratch but that was all. One of the maids who had joined in our game picked her up.

The grumpy maids weren't very pleased with us. Or with me to be precise, since I started it all.

However when the duke came back from his appointment, Mary stopped crying immediately. Running over towards him and hugging him around his neck.

And when the duke asked her if she wanted to play the Citole with him, she sent him one of the most disarming smiles I had ever seen.

Apparently a Citole was some sort of descendant of the guitar or a violin, but more leaf-shaped.

I had no idea how they did it, but they managed to produce lovely and enchanting sounds. It made the cheer return to my bones. It was a bit messy every now and then but somehow it didn't matter.

It was so cheerful that one of the knights, still pretending to be a family member, asked Isabelle to dance.

I smiled happily as Isabelle accepted and twirled around to the most charming sounds.

One more lunch.

One more dinner.

It sounded lovely.

1 hours

It was late in the afternoon when the clouds rolled in. The dinner would start soon. Our last dinner here with the duke. The kind, sad and smart duke with a passion for books. Somehow I found myself in his garden on the other side of his estate. Inspecting the flowers that were just about to come up.

In all honesty, it was a shitty garden.

I'm not going to lie to you.

The winter had taken its toll, and apparently birds and other animals had waltzed right through everything as well.

A few once brightly colored and showy flowers lay trampled in the dirt. They looked a bit too lovely for this climate, so I assumed the duke bought them from somewhere else some time ago.

And now they were scattered in the mud and grass.

'Why is it that every time you have gone away to who knows were, suddenly I am the one they send me to find you?' Elmont's voice called, probably standing a few feet behind me.

I almost fell headfirst into the old flowerbed and order to catch myself I dirtied my hands on the soil.

'Because you know where to look apparently!' I answered as I rubbed the dirt from my hands.

After inspecting my hands I went over to where Elmont was standing. He wasn't looking at me, just up at the sky.

Frowning, I did the same thing as I stood next to him. And after the first raindrop hit my forehead I cursed silently.

Only now did he look over to me and somehow I just knew he was going to ask me a question I didn't want to answer.

'Something's the matter.'

I knew playing dumb wouldn't make him believe me, but I tried anyway 'Very observant. It's raining.'

'The princess has told me something has been bothering you and as you are quite aware, I am not particularly fond of being left in the dark.'

Isabelle. You and your big princess-mouth. I thought we had a slumber-deal!

I squirmed on the spot, looking at the grass and dirt underneath my feet. 'It's no big deal.'

'I mean it.'

I sighed again and really looked at him for the first time. He didn't look angry or like he was impatiently waiting for me to spill the beans.

Ha. Spill the beans.

The weight of all the questions roaming my mind had been pressing down on me. Could I go back to London? Did I want to? Did I even have a choice in the matter? Maybe I was dead? And I already have told somebody right? And if he did hear about all these questions, would he have any answers?

…But it couldn't hurt either, right? It wasn't as if I was burdening him or something.

'Please?'

…

Great.

Two things:

1. Whether he knew or not, he had found the right way to butter me up and tell him every terrible thing I had ever done.

2. And whether I wanted or not, I found myself very much enjoying Elmont saying please.

'Will you think badly of me?'

Big sigh.

'What do you think?'

'Umm. No?' I offered.

Now it definitely started to rain softly but somehow neither of us made an attempt to move.

'As you put so delicately the other day. It will not disillusion me.' He offered, being way too awfully sweet.

He was watching me. And it seemed even the surroundings screamed at me to say it. Even that ugly garden.

'I'll tell you if you tell me why you never ever danced with me.' I smiled, turning to him as I raised an expectant eyebrow.

Silence passed between us as we stared at one another.

'Because we-'

'Show me?'

Another silence and a wry look.

'We're not quite in a state for that'

'Dance with me.'

'In the rain?'

'And in the mud.' I nodded vigorously holding out my arms expectantly.

He was silent for a good while, giving me the chance to ogle him even longer as the rain started to dishevel our hair.

But somehow the small drops of water didn't bother me at all. It felt refreshing for once.

I could see him hiding a smile 'Lady Pitsman, would you do me the honor of a dance?'

The grin I felt coming on almost ripped my face in two. Immediately I placed both my hands on his shoulders, as Howard had demonstrated some time ago.

It seemed Elmont found this extremely funny and shook his head in good humor.

I frowned in confusion as he replaced my hands, not at all in the same fashion Howard had once shown me. My one hand resting on his upper arm and the other one resting lightly on his.

Almost tripping over my own two feet, I let Elmont lead me into a slow dance with a lot of turning and circles. Was it a Waltz? One-two-three, one-two-three right?

Of course I danced atrociously, but I couldn't help but smile as Elmont started humming a melody.

I burst out laughing when I went the wrong way during one of the turns and almost bumped into one of the walls instead. Then I stared at our feet once again, desperately trying to not cock it up and stand on his feet.

'What are you doing?' Elmont questioned, humor laced in his voice.

'Trying to not step on your toe-eees' I broke off, laughing once again when we took a sharp turn.

I let out another snort before resuming my sentence 'I am starting to resemble a chicken.'

'Very descriptive.'

'I'm not very good at dancing.'

He laughed quietly 'You are doing famously.'

By now the rain drenched me and the cold was seeping into my bones. I let go of his hand briefly to wipe the wet strands that clung to my forehead behind my ears.

When I bumped into him and almost into another wall again Elmont's chest shook with concealed laughter 'Is this how you danced back at your home?'

'You do not want to know how girls dance in London.' I raised my eyebrows as I tried to focus on his feet and my feet.

'London.' He repeated, tasting the word. I chuckled at how strange it sounded coming from his mouth.

I smiled up at him 'Yes.' I stiffened up immediately and glanced over his shoulder to see if anybody was there. 'I am not sure if I'll be going back to London.' I said with a frown.

By now Elmont had stopped moving, studying me carefully. And I couldn't help but notice his hair had darkened a few shades because of the rain. How did he do his hair anyway? I mean, how surreal was his hair?

'And if I am going back… when will that happen?' I grimaced, angrily wiping the raindrops from my face 'Maybe I'm dead. Maybe I've gone nuts. Or maybe this is all a messed up dream. And I… I just-'

My hand waved around helplessly as I tried to make my point.

I gave up, my one hand accidentally squeezing his arm 'I just don't know how I feel about going back and not going back.'

Elmont eyed me curiously, his blue eyes tearing every worry, thought and trouble away from me. Until only I remained.

Everything was so messed up.

This whole 'let's-send-addy-back-in-time-oh-and-lets-add-giants' situation was messed up. This should have been different. This was not the way I envisioned my life. If only…

'Everything is just so…' I started, trailing off for a second before continuing 'I just wish I'd met you before all of this.'

Before Wells.

Before Cloister.

Before Gantua.

I was so desperate to be useful here, but I wanted to be something more. Right now I was so horrendously… inept.

This time it was my arm that was gently squeezed, and it triggered a smile from me.

'Milady gives me no credit.'

Another laugh bubbled up and my worries lightened a bit.

The cold was almost unbearable now as an almost violent shiver traveled down my spine. Automatically making me step closer to his warm body.

I didn't know if I ever experienced that desperate rush with anyone before my time here.

This moment. This exact moment was when I knew I wanted him. Real bad.

Not because of some misplaced sense of loneliness or self-pity. It hit me so fast that I didn't even know what I was doing when my hands reached for his jerkin. I would have liked to say that part of me didn't know what I was doing. But that would be telling a lie. Because I did know what I was doing. It was as if the gravitation doubled as my eyes lowered towards his lips.

He must've been looking at me but somehow I didn't want to look up. As if his probably narrowed ice-blue gaze would literally set me on fire.

So I took a small step closer before resting one hand on his chest and sliding the other higher up to his shoulder.

Maybe it was the thrill of the possibility of getting caught or maybe it was the left and right side of my brain fighting between logic and intuition.

Whatever it was something snapped.

To be more specific, I let it snap. I did nothing to prevent it.

So I leant forward.

So I inhaled sharply.

So I kissed him.

And I twitched the moment the electricity hit me full force. You know the different ways people describe it? Hot lava, fire, explosions yada yada? I think I could tell you one thousand analogies but I think I still couldn't describe the feeling to you.

All I know is that I let out a sigh the moment my lips touched his.

It was not the most perfect timing. It was in the middle of a very tense dinner party with expectations and things that were far beyond me. But this moment was full of helium and chapped lips.

I was even more aware of what I had wished. If only I did know him before all this. Then I would have had a chance to this in the proper way. Asking for a number, having dinner, getting embarrassed over the most stupid things. And although doing things properly takes a lot of time and patience, the idea was appealing. Elmont was someone who deserved that.

His left hand was still on my arm, the skin underneath his rough hand burning.

Time really did pass so slow that I only now realized he wasn't responding.

Panic sank its claws into my heart as I opened my eyes. And the moment I wanted to pull back I finally noticed it. That his eyes were closed and his mouth covered mine very carefully. Very gently. As if I'd turn into air any second.

My eyes closed again and I arched against him. And even then I felt as if I could never get close enough. The electricity hit me again and I sighed once more. This time in relief.

And perhaps to force myself to take it slow, because I really had to restrain myself from totally trying to frickin' tongue him.

It seemed like we were only people on this earth. It felt right. Just as the tips of my fingers crept up and brushed over the warm skin of his neck, Elmont parted from me roughly.

The sudden action froze me into place and the only thing could stare at was him. His right hand somehow hovered in the air. As if his hand was about to cup my face. But it dropped to my other shoulder. Both hands on me as he made sure that there was a good distance between us two.

'Don't.'

His eyes were blazing as he looked at me, slightly out of breath.

I tried to make sense of the word. Repeating it over and over in my head before they hit home.

'Don-?' I repeated hesitatingly before I frowned in confusion. Gradually the emptiness filled my chest, swallowing up all the glitter and happiness. The chill drifted through my bloodstream as my mind turned into a horrid factory.

I wanted to back away but I couldn't move. I couldn't move! had stopped working. Oh God. I was so embarrassingly stupid! So damn stupid.

B-but?

And…?

You…?

And what about…?

He seemed lost in thought before continuing with a steady voice 'Why did you do that?'

Why did I do that?

Really?

I wasn't crying. Yet. But I did try to find ways to brush my sleeve over my eyes casually. He seemed to freeze up the moment I did it. Stupid leakage.

I've had my fair share in rejections. My old life contained a few guys I liked and didn't like. And only once I have done the rejecting myself and only once I was the one being rejected. So I wasn't all new in this department…

That's what I told myself at least the moment I felt absolutely stricken by the realization.

My next instinct was to start pointing fingers. But I could only point them at myself.

I had tried. But in the end I was unable to do anything to promote myself. And I was not a lady, not a genius, not smart and definitely not impressive. I had stood on the tip of my toes, walking among giants and trying to pass myself off as one.

'I… You…' I shook my head as I fought to find the right words. But I couldn't . So I started pointing out the obvious as I pointed at him in the most accusing way.

'You kissed me back...' I drawled before backing away and out of his hands 'You kissed me back!'

'This is not what either of us want.' He started remaining perfectly still while eyeing me up and down 'It may not seem like it, but this is not what you want.'

He was confusing me. I wasn't sure if it was on purpose or not.

'What you did was for all the wrong reasons. I suggest to stop this. Right now.'

I interrupted him with a scoff and raised my eyebrows at him challengingly.

'You were saying no such thing a few seconds ago!' I said fiercely before I pointed my finger at him again 'You kissed me back.'

Elmont's eyes were freezing as he seemed temporarily lost for words. He was still standing across from me, keeping a good distance between us. It made me angry the way he was watching every little movement I made. Like I was about to pounce him any second.

'I did no such thing.' His voice was restrained, as if he was trying to keep his voice down. Not losing it like the complete fool standing in front of him.

I started doubting myself just then. Did I really feel him kissing me back? Did I make that all up? I was so certain a few seconds ago.

He let his words settle for a moment before saying, 'I did not. I would not. Banish that notion from your mind entirely.'

'Really? So what were you doing then?' I couldn't help the doubtful tone in my voice. 'Because to me it seemed-'

'I would not.' This time he did raise his voice slightly 'The fact that you are insisting on continuing this ridiculous conversation is needlessly upsetting you further.'

By now I realized I was just as out of breath as he had been when he pulled away. I frowned in confusion, searching for anything that might have proof. Some sort of evidence that it wasn't all in my mind. That he really had been kissing me back like I thought.

'You did not kiss me or you would not kiss me?' I breathed while I watched him intently.

His eyes lowered from my eyes to my lips, a frown also on his face. I knew I was being cruel in some way, calling him out like this. I was going stark-raving mad. Love in general was making me go mad. How trembling, miserable and vulnerable my heart suddenly was.

To be grown-up must have been the worst thing that ever happened to me. Because now I was responsible for my actions and had to face the fire for it. And I had to realize it wasn't entirely Elmont's fault.

'I'm so sorry.'

It didn't even sound like my voice when the words left my mouth.

Now was the time for me to swish my hair and be independent and strong as I walked away. But my departure was nothing that dramatic. I just stood still for a moment as if waiting for him to do something. But after a few second I lost my fight and turned around.

Running would come later when I was only one-third of the way back to my room.

0 hours

How terrible it would be if I marked the story as 'completed' right now?

How bad would you hurt me?

Muhahaha.

To be honest, I was planning the rejection for a long long time. So no 'spur of the moment during writing' thing!

But don't worry. I immediately had to write a piece were they make up.

So don't hurt me too bad.

Zabuzasgirl: Hahaha! I will update again next week. I'm very sorry for the wait this time!

Guest: Thank you thank you thank you! C: You are amazing!

Miss Guest: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ho, I love to wriiiite~ When you waaaaant to write you want to write!~ I think me updating was not a good thing actually. Will you still survive? I'm so sorry for this chapter. It'll get better! And yeeeeeeeees. School is sucking the life right out of me. It's just exhausting.

Addy89: Another Addy! Love it! C: Thank you for the lovely review! I'll update next week!

MoonCastersFlyingCircus: That would be a weird way of earning money. Now I'm actually wondering if it exists. But then again, I've (no joke) met a man who earned his money with his pet-worms. Nothing fazes me anymore hahaha!

Bestbuds55: Oh dear! Don't sleep deprive yourself! Hahaha! It's a great compliment though! Thank you very much C:

Cantate: The duke: to trust or not to trust. That is the question. :) Thank you for your lovely review dear. I'm so very happy you still like it!

Amber: Thank you dear! To be honest I raised my eyebrows lots of times when I did research on etiquette. And believe it or not: the 'leaving the spoon in your bowl' thing is actually true haha!

Addie: Hi there Addie! (It always makes me laugh when I read your reviews, because it really does seem as if its acutally Addy replying haha!) Thank you so much for the compliment :)

MidnightShadow07: I think Elmont and Addy actually did forget about Jack hahaha! Poor Jack. I'll give him some more attention! I am so sorry though, because once you read this review you probably already know that it didn't go to plan. I'll make up for it, I promise it'll get better!