Disclaimer: I don't own Bones, but I am obsessed.

Author's Note: Well, folks, one year ago today, I published the first chapter of If I Needed Someone. I love being a part of the Bones fanfic community, and I thank you for your support and encouragement. So Happy Anniversary to me and enjoy the next chapter of the Man in Black!

Chapter 35: Without Love

October 4, 2006 Booth's Apartment

Booth popped open the tab on his can of beer and sank into his couch. He stretched for the remote and idly flipped through channels. He was bored, plain and simple. And exhausted. He'd spent 72 hours in the back of a van, sleeping little and eating even less. The stake-out had been successful and the team had made twelve arrests. Booth's adrenaline had been pumping and he had been flying high until he had opened the door to his empty apartment. Suddenly, too tired to even call for food, he had just grabbed a cold one and retreated to the living room.

Halfway through the beer and at the top of the fifth inning of the game he was watching, a subtle knock resounded on the door. Blinking, Booth sat up, set his drink on the coffee table and rose with a groan. Three days in a cramped van had definitely taken its toll.

Booth was surprised to see Rebecca when he opened the door. She was dressed in a little black cocktail dress and her long hair was pulled into a twist held together by a simple clip. Booth simply extended an arm and waved her into his apartment.

"Hey, Rebecca. What are you doing here? Where's Parker?"

The blonde woman smiled as she adjusted the wrap along her shoulders. "I had a client dinner and Rose has class on Wednesday nights, so she couldn't stay late. Parker's spending the night with my parents."

Booth raked his fingers through his hair. "I would have picked him up. He could have spent the night with me. I'm his father, I can take care of him."

Rebecca raised an eyebrow, "You could have been at his school at 2:45?" Booth shook his head, he'd been giving the go-ahead on a raid at that time. "Or been at my place by 5:15 so that the nanny could get to her class on time?" Booth frowned, he'd been processing his collar then. He was an excellent agent and a dedicated father, the two roles just didn't always work together.

"Anyway, you could have given me the option. I don't get enough time with him as it is. He's still my son."

"That's not why I came here tonight, Seeley." Rebecca sighed, they had this argument all too frequently with never changing results.

Booth crossed his arms, "Then why are you here?"

Rebecca gave a soft smirk as she let her velvet wrap fall to the floor. With the flick of her wrist, the clip joined the shawl and she shook her hair loose. Booth swallowed hard and his hands fell limply to his side. When they had first started dating, her hair had been even longer, and he had loved running his fingers through the silky tresses. It had once been his job to free her hair from its pins and clips after a date, and the action had become something of a code between them. He always knew what she wanted when she literally let her hair down. And she still had the power to sway him with that simple move.

She took a confident step towards Booth, closing the distance between them. When he didn't move, she took another step. When he numbly stared at her, she tilted her head up and pressed her lips to his. They kissed for a long moment before Booth pulled back, placing his hands on her shoulders and holding her at a distance.

"Becs, what are you doing here?"

"I just wanted to see you."

"What about Drew? You know, your boyfriend?" Rebecca shrugged and tried to remove Booth's hands from her shoulders, hoping to pull their bodies closer together again. She was unsuccessful and Booth's gaze bored into her eyes. "Rebecca," Booth warned.

"We're taking a break. His ex-wife called him and she wants to reconcile."

"So you've been dumped, and you're hurting and you came here?" Booth finally released her shoulders and she ran her hand up and down his chest.

"It's worked in the past. You and I were always good together."

Booth took a step back. "I'm sorry, Rebecca. I'm not that guy anymore. I'm not good for a booty call when you're feeling bad about yourself."

Rebecca frowned. "It's because of Dr. Brennan, isn't it? You're finally dating her?"

"No, we're just partners." He vehemently denied the accusation, at least the second half of it anyway.

"So are you with someone else? I find that hard to believe."

"No, I'm not with anyone else."

Her smirk returned as she toyed with the fabric of his shirt, "Then I don't see a problem. You're single, I'm single. It doesn't have to mean anything."

Booth picked up her hands and gently pulled them away from his shirt before once again dropping his own. "Yes, it does. I want it to mean something. I want it to be more than sex."

Rebecca took her own step back, stooping to pick up her dropped clothing items. "God, Seeley, when did you become this paragon of virtue? You're not a monk."

Now, Booth did step towards her and placed his hand at her elbow. "Are you telling me that if I led you into my bedroom right now and kept you up all night long, that it wouldn't be a mistake? Do you honestly think that tonight could be a fresh start for us? That we could go back to being Seeley and Rebecca and we'd end up married, give Parker another sibling or two, and live happily ever after?"

"Seeley." Rebecca soothed, as she sighed "Does it have to be about a relationship? Can't it just be about two friends having fun?"

"I'm sorry Rebecca, but not anymore." He wanted more than that. He wanted everything. And he wasn't ashamed to admit it.

Rebecca nodded and turned on her heel, trying to gracefully accept defeat. She was nearly out the door when Booth called her name. She whipped her head around, her hair floating in the self-made breeze. She was holding out hope that he had changed his mind, would pull her into his arms and kiss her senseless. "Yes?"

"Can you give this to Parker?". Booth handed the woman a comic book. "I thought that he'd like it."

Rebecca glared at the comic as she reached for it. For a moment they both had a hand on the book and their eyes locked. Then Booth blinked and released the comic into her grip. Without further ceremony, Rebecca walked out of the apartment. Booth simply returned to his perch on his sofa where he returned to his now lukewarm, flat beer.

Booth wasn't exactly sure of his thoughts. Yes, in the past he and Rebecca had dated, then the stick had turned blue and their romantic relationship had ended. However, they were forever bound by their son and in the past several years they had often found comfort in each other. A little over a year ago, Rebecca would have already been naked in his bed, but things were different now. He had changed. More specifically, someone had changed him. It wasn't a secret, he had moved on. Maybe not in the most traditional sense, as she still seemed to be unaware of it, but someone else had claimed his heart.

And as if the connection that he felt was reciprocated, his phone rang. Groaning again as he twisted to grab his phone out of the couch cushions and without checking the ID, he answered the call, knowing who would be on the other end.

"Booth."

"It's me. I hope that I didn't wake you."

Despite the exhaustion of the day, Booth felt himself perk up. "No, I am still up. Long day, but we got our guys. Twelve arrests and we've got 'em all, dead to rights."

"That's good."

There was an awkward pause before Booth spoke again. "Not that I don't appreciate the call, but what's up?"

Brennan didn't answer. Why exactly had she called him? She wasn't entirely sure. One minute she had been writing a scene between Kathy and Andy and the next, she had pressed a speed dial button and had heard his voice on the other end. "I'm sorry, I don't know why I called."

Booth exhaled a soft breath, "Hey, Bones?"

"Yes?"

"I missed you too." He could have sworn that her own breath hitched in response, and it brought a silly grin to his face. He shifted, lying down on the couch, yet another groan escaping him as he tried to make himself comfortable.

"Is your back bothering you?"

"I'm fine."

"When was the last time you slept?"

"I'm an Army Ranger, Bones. I don't need sleep."

Booth chuckled into the phone as he heard Brennan scoff in the background. "You should rest, and schedule an appointment with a chiropractor as soon as possible."

"Yes, dear." Booth almost slapped himself on the forehead at the comment. He had meant it in a joking tone, but he knew that she wouldn't understand his put-upon response. Or the endearment that had slipped out.

However, she chose to ignore the statement and continued to boss him around. "And don't fall asleep on your couch. It really is terrible for your back. And you should probably take something for the pain."

"I'll be fine." Another awkward pause followed. The silence stretched on before Booth cleared his throat, "So, how's Squirt? What's she been up to these days?"

Brennan began to describe Lucy's mounting school-work, her various activities and the latest books that had captured his interest. Booth listened, but as Brennan continued her monologue, he found himself distracted. He wasn't listening to her words so much as the tone of her voice, the obvious pride and love. Others saw her as cold, even abrasive, but he knew the truth. She hid her true self behind a mask of scientific objectivity, but she was passionate and warm and he wanted her. So much.

There was another pause and Booth's focus was pulled back to the conversation. "I'm sorry, Bones. What did you say?"

"I asked you what do you think would be an appropriate birthday present for a boy turning thirteen. Lucy has been invited to Carter's birthday party and she doesn't know what to get him. We thought that you would know, as you were once a thirteen year old boy."

Booth cringed, he didn't want Lucy spending time with a thirteen year old boy. She was only eleven. Booth had met the boy. He seemed nice enough, but Booth had gotten himself into his fair share of trouble at thirteen. He didn't trust teenagers as far as he could throw them. Call it a job hazard. "Are you sure she should be going to this party? Isn't she a little young to be hanging out with teenagers?"

"Booth, it's just a birthday party. He invited his entire class, these are her peers. They are just going to see a movie and share cake. There is nothing to worry about. Lucy is very mature for her age."

"I still don't have to like it," Booth grumbled as he acknowledged defeat, he had no right to give her parenting advice. Still, Booth found it difficult to stop the various scenarios that ran through his head, in his line of work he'd seen some nice-looking kids do some terrible things. He wouldn't fight about Lucy's taste in friends without a reason, but he'd keep an eye out. Vigilance was a personal strength.

"Anyway, do you have any suggestions?" Booth rattled off a few ideas as Brennan took note in order to report her findings to her daughter in the morning. "Thank you, now you should get some sleep. I imagine that you are quite exhausted."

"Yeah, I guess I should go." But, he didn't want to go. He wanted to keep talking to her all night long, whispering secrets into her ear. He tried to calm those rapid-fire thoughts. This path was too dangerous to head down, not when he was weary and reeling from his encounter with Rebecca.

"Good night, Booth."

Dammit, he was going to go down this rocky road anyway. "Hey, Bones?"

"Yes?" She answered quickly, apparently she was also not quite ready to end their conversation.

"Do you ever wish..." He let his voice trail off as he completed the thought in his head. Do you ever wish that things were different between us? Do you ever wish that we had met in a coffee shop and not over a dead body?

He started again, "Do you ever think..." Again he only finished the sentence in his own mind. Do you ever think that we can be more than partners? Do you ever think that someone like you could ever be with a guy like me? Do you ever think of us?

This time he managed to finish his question, even if it wasn't one of the questions that he meant to ask. "Do you and Lucy want to come over on Sunday? I'm supposed to have Parker this weekend, and I promised Lucy that I would teach her some football. Steelers are playing the Chargers. Oh, you can bring that five-layer dip that you've been bragging about."

"Seven-layer dip. It has seven-layers."

"Oh, even better. Anyway, bring that. Come over around noon. We'll hang out. Order a pizza, make root-beer floats."

"I will ask Lucy, but I'm sure that will be fine."

"Great. It's a da... a plan. A good plan. Anyway, you should get some sleep too. You never know when our next body is going to drop."

"That's true. Have a good night, Booth."

"Yeah, you too." He was about to hang up when Brennan's voice returned.

"Would you like to join us for dinner tomorrow?" The words rushed out of her mouth before she could stop them.

Booth smiled to himself again. "That sounds good. Any particular reason why?"

There was another pause before he answered "Lucy's missed you."

"Tell Squirt I'll see her for dinner then. I'll bring dessert."

"Yes, good night." She quickly disconnected the call and Booth slipped his own cell shut. He played with his phone with his hand. He settled himself more deeply into the couch, his back still aching, but a stupid grin on his face. She wouldn't admit it, but he knew the truth.

She had missed him.