I Like You, Natsume-oniisan
Chapter 36: To His Past
"If you have a chance to undo your past, what will you change?" it was a question printed on a piece of paper.
A sixteen year old boy with a pair of beautiful crimson eyes scribbled his answer down on the same piece of paper, "I don't know. Maybe nothing, because I am contented with what I have now."
Because he would never know how important she was to him until eight years later...
-:-:-:-
"Excuse me," a lady voice woke him up from his slumber and he immediately looked at her in daze. "May I sit next to you?"
He nodded tiredly and placed his head back down on the table. He wanted to blame his noisy younger sister for disturbing him the whole of last night with her endless whining all because he refused to return back her favourite teddy bear.
"You look very familiar. Have I seen you before?" the lady who was already sitting next to him asked loudly.
Without looking up, he shook his head.
"Hmm... I know I've seen you before. Ah-ha! Were you from the orphanage which is owned by St. Mary Church?" the lady continued.
This time, he looked up and looked at her with narrowed eyes.
"Who are you? How do you know that I was from that orphanage?" he demanded.
The lady brightened up in response and chirped, "I knew it! I used to be from that orphanage too and your face, especially your eyes, looks extremely familiar. So, nice to meet you!"
She stretched out her arm and shook his hand with a smile.
"I'm Nobara Ibaragi. What's your name?"
"Natsume Andou."
This was their new found friendship which led that man into a deeper trouble than he could ever imagine.
###
"Natsume, how's university life?" his mother asked as she munched on a cracker. "Did you meet your old friends there?"
"Fine but no, I didn't. I met a girl who happened to be from the orphanage where Mikan and I used to stay at."
"Oh really? Who's she? Is she pretty?" his father chuckled.
"She is Nobara Ibaragi-san and she sits next to me in the lecture hall. I can say she looks pretty normal to me," the man answered with a thoughtful look. "She's noisy as well."
"I'm home!" a little girl rushed into the house and hopped onto her father's lap. "Onii-san, give me back Teddy!"
"Natsume, you're still bullying her, aren't you?" Misaki sighed. "Give her back that teddy bear."
He groaned and took out the soft toy from his bag which he had brought to school together with him, "Fine, fine. Here!"
The girl smiled and ran towards him.
"Thank you," she said and took the bear together with her into her bedroom.
###
"Andou-kun, are you free this Friday? There is a class gathering held in a chalet," his friend asked as she packed her books into her slingbag.
"Nope. I've to attend my sister's graduation ceremony," he hastily replied.
"You have a sister? Sorry, I didn't know about it. Well, I'll help you to tell those organisers that you're not attending the gathering. See you, Andou-kun."
"Thanks. Bye."
###
"I would like to thank my family and friends for their endless support. Without them, I won't be standing up here today to give this speech to everyone. Though it was unexpected, this is all I can say. Oh yes, there is actually one person whom I want to thank the most. It's my brother, Natsume Andou."
He was surprised and smiled to himself. His sister had thanked him in front of everyone. He felt so proud that his sister was one of the top scorers in her school, even though she was so irritating, dumb, dense, whinny and...
No matter what, she had never failed to impress him.
"He may be the most irritating and grouchy brother I've ever seen in my life but he's a great person at heart. He spent a lot of time trying to help me with Maths which I have no idea what's going on up till now... Haha... I think so. Anyway, with his help, I'm able to get at least a B. Thank you, Onii-san!"
He was frowning at first. How dared she called him irritating and grouchy! But upon hearing her praises, he was blushing and kept fidgeting with his fingers. Though he had heard enough of praises from his sister, he still liked them.
Do you want to know why?
Because it was her who praised him. Not others, but her. The one and only girl whom he liked more than anybody else.
"I like you, Natsume-oniisan!"
He smiled quietly at this statement for the billionth time.
"Stop it, you're spoiling me," he whispered to himself for the billionth time as well as he saw his sister walking down the stage. "Stupid, I like you too..."
###
He threw his graduation cap up high, together with our graduates. After taking a few photos with his friends, he slowly made his way to the canteen. A short and bubbly brunette was sitting on a bench, swinging her legs up and down in a bored manner.
"Mikan."
She looked up and her face brightened up instantly.
"Natsume-oniisan!" she greeted back to him as she skipped towards him. "Congratulations!"
He ruffled her hair and said, "Thank you. Where are Mum and Dad?"
"Oh, they had just left a few minutes ago because they're trying to book a french restaurant somewhere near this area," she replied with a toothy grin. "And they called me to follow them too but I told them that I will wait for Onii-san myself, just in case Onii-san can't find us and then, cry for us."
His mouth twitched.
"Do I look like I am crybaby like you, little idiot?" he scoffed and flicked her forehead.
She yelped angrily, "Like I've just said, 'just in case'; something like an assumption; like 'what if'!"
He looked at her uninterestedly as she pouted with teary eyes.
"I was worried, okay?" she mumbled. "You would never know how much I..."
He knew that she was going to say that phrase again. He suddenly felt conscious because anyone in the canteen would hear it. He did not want people to know. He knew how people would look at them. He was scared to know what those people would see him as, especially his friends.
For the first time, he felt conscious about his reputation. For the first time, he found that this phrase was getting out of hand. Not that he disliked her or anything, he was just being paranoid.
"Okay, enough."
She stared at him with a shocked look. She was very sure that he had just raised his voice at her. She held her breath and nodded meekly before taking out her mother's handphone to call her parents that her brother was down with his graduation ceremony.
'You would never know how much I had tried to beg them to wait for you, Onii-san.'
That was what she wanted to say.
###
"I like you, Natsume-oniisan..."
"Stop saying these things so casually. Don't you even feel embarrassed by saying these all the time?" he snapped.
He had no idea how it happened. Well, it just happened like that. She just say this phrase like it was already part of her speech whenever she talked to him. He had to stop her from saying this because everytime she said this, his head would go crazy. What if she did not like him that way? Did that mean that he got all happy for nothing?
Her eyes became teary and her voice also softened, "No, because I really mean what I have said. I think I've fallen in love with you..."
Was it true that she had fallen in love with him? What if it was only puppy love? She was still young so she did not know the difference between true love and puppy love.
Suddenly, he remembered about his worries about how others would think of him and his sister. They were siblings, though they were not related by blood. Others might deem them as incest, which would tarnish the Andou family. No, he could not let it happen.
He took in a deep breath and said, "You know it. No matter how much you love me, we can never be together."
"But..."
"I'm sorry. I can't return your feelings because we are siblings!"
Her face crumpled as her tears rolled down her pale cheeks. She hung her head low and walked over to the exit. He felt bad. He really should not have said that but he was too paranoid and worried for his family. If only, she would understand.
"Onii-san, if Mummy and Daddy did not adopt me, will you accept me?"
He looked at her again with a surprised look. She was standing at the door with her back facing him. He could picture how horrible she looked right then but it was for her own good. If only, she would understand.
Because he really loved her.
"If we aren't together, as now we are in, in the first place and fate decides to pull us together no matter how distant we are, I will accept you. I will definitely accept you, Mikan."
Nodding lightly, she walked away without even looking back to him; without saying her usual phrase to him; without telling him where she was going.
From this point of time, they began to drift further away than anybody could ever imagine.
###
"She has finally confessed to me. What should I do?" he groaned softly.
He felt extremely bad for rejecting her. He could not sleep for the whole of last night too, especially hearing his sister's continuous sobbing and sniffing coming from her bedroom.
"What were your response?"
He looked up and saw his university friend, who used to sit next to him, standing in front of him with a cocktail in her hand.
He bluntly replied, "I rejected her."
Her mouth formed into an oval shaped and then puffed up her cheeks in deep thought. "What did you tell her?"
He shrugged and mumbled, "I told her that we are siblings. I mean, in the eyes of the law, we are siblings. There is no way we can be together. You know it. There's..."
"Do you think she will buy your answers?" she interrupted, causing him to look at her again.
"What do you mean?" he asked with a frown.
She chuckled and began drawing circles on her own palm, "She has been liking you since a long time ago. Do you think she will just let you go like that?"
"I... I don't know..."
She chuckled again, "Then, let me tell you something. It will surely and definitely work out. I cannot guarantee how fast or slow the result will be but trust me. She will give up on you one day."
"What is it?"
"Simple. But before I tell you that, let me ask you a question. What if she is not adopted by your parents, will you accept her confession?"
That question was somehow similar to the one his sister had asked him before. His bottled up feelings which he had failed to convey to her the day before came spilling out like a confession. If only, his sister would understand him better.
"I will definitely accept her because I love her. You can be disgusted with me but I want to touch her... Touch her more... I want her to say my name... call me by my name. Are you disgusted now? I bet you do. But that's me. I'm not as good and perfect as you think I am. I am like no other men on Earth. When I am with her, I will go crazy. Do you want to know why? That's because I have hormones too. And thanks to her, that somehow proves that I'm still alive as a human. Geez... I really love her. I really do..."
"Is that your answer?" she interrupted in amusement.
"Yes."
"Then... Eww... You're disgusting too. But that's fine. As long as you do what I say, she would definitely leave you," she proclaimed with lots of confidence.
He looked at her impatiently and asked, "What is it?"
She chuckled softly and teased, "I love you, Andou-kun."
He shot her a glare and said in disgust, "What are you..."
"Let me be yours..."
"What are you thinking, Ibaragi-san?" he raised his voice and shook his head hopelessly. "You're crazy."
"To get her from leaving you is by making me as your acting girlfriend. How's that? I cannot guarantee an immediate effect but I think it'll work," she assured with a smile.
Without a second thought, he nodded quietly and unknowingly dived into a deeper trouble.
###
He brought his acting girlfriend home for the first time and furthermore, it was unannounced. He was not excited or nervous. Neither was he looking forward to bring her home to show to his parents, especially to his sister. He felt guilty, horrible and perturbed.
He saw his sister open the front gate for him to enter into the house. She had lost her radiance after the rejection and upon seeing his female friend together with him, her face drained in colour.
"Mikan, this is my girlfriend," he spoke without even looking at her. "Her name is Nobara Ibaragi."
"Good evening, Andou-san!" his friend greeted with a sweet grin and waved.
There was silence until the brunette mumbled softly, "Please come in and take a seat."
Then, he looked up, feeling flabbergasted. His sister was smiling to his acting girlfriend. That was unexpected. He did not know why he was hoping for another response. His mind was so messed up.
What exactly he wanted from her?
'Go away! Onii-san is mine! I like Natsume-oniisan!'
Maybe that was what he was silently hoping for.
All thanks to his ego, he allowed these lies to carry on for the next two years until someone stopped them abruptly to save him from falling into an even deeper trouble which no one might save himself in the future at all. And that someone was his beloved non-related sister.
-:-:-:-
I like you, Natsume-oniisan...
"If you have a chance to undo your past, what will you change?" an old friend of his asked.
The twenty-four year old man gave a weak smile and replied sadly, "If I have a chance to undo the past, I will want her in my love life and in order to do that, I will confess to her way before she does. I will leave everything behind me and take her hand as a man. I will give her my love and affection. In short, I will give her everything I have. I want her to love me forever. Of course, I will love her unconditionally. However, everything was ruined. Everything was ruined by me because of my pride and my love for her. Now she has changed. Everyone has changed. But did I even change? Even if it is a little bit? No, I don't think so. Because of me, I continue to dwell in the past where my memories and dreams are so clear that I could hardly imagine myself losing my status as a bachelor soon. I truly love her but I just could not have her because she is just too good for me..."
I love you, Mikan...
Hey! You've finally come to the last part of this story! Four more chapters to go! :)
Special thanks to the reviewers of Chapter 35:
- CuteChibiNekoChan
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Lastly, I would also like to thank those who had story alerted and favourited this story. :)
Random note(s):
- Four more chapters to go before this story ends, approximately in September-October.
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