My boots crunched softly against the snow. Returning home from my trip had little comfort compared to what it once had, especially since I had left the state without seeing my parents once. I wondered if Tatsuo had planned that. He probably did.

But now, as small flakes of snow fell slowly around me, I wandered the streets of the city, my arms crossed in front of my chest for warmth. My hood was pulled up. I had hoped to avoid confrontation as much as possible tonight. The streetlamps offered little recluse from the cold, though I forced myself to pause my walk underneath them once in a while before continuing to the heart of the city. I was looking for something. I had seen only one in my entire life living here, and I hoped it still worked. But it had been a long walk already.

The sky was completely dark, and if I had to guess, it was about eight o'clock. It was dangerous, on top of everything else, for me to be walking the streets, alone and without a phone, on a Saturday night. Part of me hoped I wouldn't get lost. Part of me didn't care.

Who am I kidding? Returning home, no, to that stupid flat, was miserable. There, I was always tense, always grumpy, and always ready to leave. It was only after sitting in that godforsaken room for hours that I decided I had had enough. It had been too long since I spoke to them. It had been too long since I heard their voices. I didn't care about the consequences anymore. I had nothing else to lose.

So, pulling my scarf tighter around my neck, I followed the sidewalk towards the only payphone left in town.

It was across from the club we had gone to for my introductory party. The club where I had rescued Luka from. The club where I first met Anon and Kanon. I was in no mood to smile, but I couldn't help but chuckle at the irony of it all. Willingly coming back to this place after weeks, trying to survive the attack the twins had put on me. It was cruel. And I was broken enough to laugh at it.

Lifting my head just a little, glancing through the silently falling flakes, the outline of the box appeared. My heart jumped. I'll finally get to talk to him, I realized. It had been weeks. But it felt like it had been years.

But what if he's changed his mind? The thought was enough to make me stop in my tracks. It had been so long, I wouldn't be surprised if he - and the others - had completely forgotten about me at this point. Maybe Anon and Kanon weren't so bad when you got to know them. Maybe living with them wasn't so bad. Maybe I was thrown into this flat, completely forgotten. They hadn't tried to contact me since their concert -

If they had forgotten about you, then why would that do that for you? They surely were punished for that show when Tatsuo found out what they were doing. But that had been so long ago, maybe they succumbed to the pressure. Maybe they gave up.

An unexpected, loud whimper escaped my throat. I threw a hand over my mouth to suppress it, closing my eyes to stop the tears. Stop thinking like that. It's not true. They wouldn't.

I remembered the barrier I had felt when I first met them. How it felt like it was me against them, me against the world. I felt that barrier rising once more. And it crushed me.

With a deep breath, I calmed myself, lowering my gloved hand back down to my side. You're jumping to conclusions.

But it seemed so real, so plausible, that I had half the nerve to turn around, finally accepting my fate and living the rest of my life alone in that flat. I could make it nice, I told myself. Finally throw out all of that junk in the back, maybe redo the floors, the walls. It could be nice.

No convincing made me feel better about it. I was lucky I was the only one on this street. I must have looked crazy, standing aimlessly in the middle of the sidewalk, in the snow, on the verge of tears. It was still too early for the clubbers to be out, and it was too late for those on their way home from work or chores. Looking around, I could easily convince myself that I was the last living person on earth. I definitely felt like it.

Even if it is true, I figured. I at least should get an explanation. If my friends had chosen to give up, live with their new lives, then I was owed a reason why. It was the least they could do.

Clenching my hands into fists, I resumed my steps towards the empty booth. Images from Len and I's night together, the night before I was taken from my apartment, flashed through my mind intrusively. I pushed them away before they broke me down again.

My hand trembling, I pushed open the glass door, closing it behind me. Here I am. I thought. What now?

Now, I put in this change. And tap in his number. It's that easy.

I picked up the phone with one hand, reaching into my pocket with the other. It took me much too long to put the change in with my hands acting the way they were. I almost typed a number wrong, but was able to control myself at least somewhat. Lowering my hand to my side, I was forced to hold the phone a few inches away from my face, else my trembling hand would tap it against my face. I gulped as the ringer began. You can hang up, I told myself. You can give up. Go home. It's home now. It would be the easy thing to do. It would be so nice to let everything go, and give up. I can't do this.

Just as I was about to throw the phone back on the wall, the ringing stopped.

"Hello?"

My eyes widened. How could I be so stupid? Sure, I had nothing to lose. But the others? They had everything to lose. The selfishness of my act wanted to drown me. Especially because it was not Len's voice on the other end of the phone.

Still shaking, I dropped my eyes to the floor, holding the phone next to me.

"Hellooo?" Kanon's voice continued. The clanking of dishes could be heard in the background. She's in the kitchen.

I didn't answer. She can't prove it's me, I desperately thought. If I don't say anything. The sink was on, too. Someone was doing the dishes.

"Look, I don't know who this is, but-" She paused, and her tone suddenly changed. "Rin," she said slyly. "Is that you?"

The clanking behind her stopped.

She let out a laugh. "I know you're not trying to talk to my Lenny, right?"

Now, I couldn't tell if my trembling was from fear or anger. Of course she would pick up his phone. Of course she would.

"Where are you even calling from?" She asked. I could heard the smile in her voice. "Not gonna say anything, huh? Do I really deserve the silent treatment?"

Another voice sounded behind her. A deeper one. Len. I clamped my hand over my mouth to keep from crying out at his words.

They were muffled. "-e the phone."

"Oh, come on. You'd get in so much trouble for that."

He was angry. Louder, this time, he repeated. "Give me the phone."

I listened helplessly, no longer in this booth, but transported to my kitchen, where I watched the scene play out. I imagined him in his pajamas, angry, just trying to clean his apartment, when his phone rang. Kanon must have gotten to it first.

"A private number?" She ignored him. "Are you calling from a payphone or something?"

She couldn't trace me. Even if she could, I'd be long gone by the time she got here. My stupidity was beyond me. The trouble Len could get in for this… I wanted nothing more than to turn around, drop the phone, and run. They couldn't catch me here. They couldn't.

"Kanon, give me the fucking phone."

"Listen," Kanon said. "Don't call this number anymore, 'kay?"

"Don't you fucking dare-"

Click.

Minutes after the call ended, I still stood there, holding the phone to my ear, as if something else was going to happen. This was a horrible idea. I only felt worse now.

But at least I had gotten to hear him.

Finally placing the phone back on the wall, I pushed my way out of the booth. My plans to call the others disappeared into thin air. I imagined it couldn't be much better than what had just occurred.

I felt exhausted. Not only from the scene I had just created, but from walking all day. I was still terrified of being caught, but my fatigue overcame it. There was a bench nearby. I brushed the snow off of it, and sat on it. It was cold on my legs.

I was right across the street from the club. There were people beginning to arrive, young groups laughing and smiling on their way in. The neon lights cast a bright light on the street. I admired the way the snowflakes changed color as they passed through it. It was by no means at blizzard, but I could see it beginning to pick up. By the time I'd reach home, I'd be frozen. The very real possibility of me freezing to death occurred to me, and I vowed to find a hotel or somewhere to stay for the night. Maybe I'd be able to find a taxi. It's not like I could call one.

But the motel sounded nice. I couldn't decide which was worse, staying in the familiar flat alone, or staying in a random motel room away from the reminders of everything that had happened. It's crazy how things can just do a 180 like that.

He had wanted to talk to me. I didn't want to admit it to myself, for whatever reason, but he had demanded that Kanon give him the phone. He had. He wanted to talk to me. But I still couldn't help feeling incredibly alone.

Maybe I'll just fall asleep right here, I figured, looking at the rest of the bench. It was covered in snow. I was too. No doubt. What would happen if someone found me here? I thought, amused. I could see it now. Ex-Vocal Rin found sleeping on a bus stop bench. What would they think, then?

The minutes ticked by. I watched the parking lot intensely, stil trying to come up with something - anything - that could get me back into the Vocal house. But the situation was grim. With a sigh, I finally lowered my head. It was over. It was done. This was my life now. Might as well stop trying to fight it.

"Excuse me, is this seat taken?"

"No," I answered, raising my head. "Feel free to-"

My breath caught in my throat.

Miku and Gumi stood only a foot or two away from me, each dressed in the same manner I was. Hoods over their heads, jackets, gloves, everything.

Gumi smiled sadly at me. "Hey, Rinny-"

I shot up from my seat, throwing my arms around both of them. "How did you guys know-"

"Len came downstairs ready to explode," Miku explained, returning my hug. "And he told us what happened."

"He wanted to come, but then Kanon would know something was up for sure," Gumi continued. "So we convinced him to stay."

"But how did you know I was here?" I asked, pulling away from them.

Miku chuckled. "Where else is there a payphone in this entire town?"

I lowered my eyes. I wanted to cry from the joy of seeing them. It was unfamiliar just being this close to them. I felt exactly like a shy fan. "You guys are risking a lot being here-"

"I don't give a shit anymore," Miku spat. "It's the shitshow of the century at that place right now. I don't care what he does. It can't be any worse than this." She crossed her arms.

"What's… what's been happening?"

Gumi sighed. "Just, like, we don't hang out anymore. Everyone just kinda hides on their floor. And I think tonight is the first time Len's left his room in days."

"Where's Luka?"

The two of them exchanged looks.

My heart dropped. "She can't be-"

"Tonight is the first night," Miku sighed. "It's just so tense in the house, I think it finally got to her."

"But the gym-"

"She stopped going after you…" Gumi trailed off.

I couldn't believe it. I almost wished they had forgotten about me. Then they at least wouldn't be this upset. "All because of me," I said aloud.

Miku furrowed her brow. "It's not because of you. You did nothing wrong."

"If I had just never went to that stupid show," I thought, feeling tears rising to my eyes. "If I had never met him at that stupid coffee shop, if I had never taken those fucking tickets from him, none of this would have happened." I sniffled. "It may not be my fault, but I caused it. And now everyone-" My words caught in my throat. I couldn't look at them.

There was silence between the three of us before Gumi spoke up.

"I want to punch you in the fucking face right now."

My eyes rose out of sheer surprise. Miku seemed as stunned as me. Anger was something I had not expected to ever hear from Gumi. Never.

"Do you have any fucking idea what you've done for us?" She asked, her voice rising. "Better shows, more fans, more sales, and not to mention the fact that you somehow managed to find your way into all of our lives with your… niceness." Despite her kind words, she seemed genuinely angry. I could do nothing but watch her with wide eyes as she continued. "And now you're saying that this little bump in the road made it all irrelevant? Like it was nothing? You sound like you're done trying, Rin. And that pisses me off."

I opened my mouth to respond, but no words came out.

"So don't you dare say that we should have never met you, because without you Luka would have drank herself to death by now, Len would still be hooking up with random chicks after every concert, we'd all be mindlessly partying just like those two fucking demons, and none of us would have any idea that it was wrong. Not to mention that you'd still be the stuck-up bitch you were when you met us! You've had plenty of free time to figure this shit out, and you've got nothing?" She jammed her finger into my sternum.

"I-I never wanted to look around-"

"You need to get over the self-pity," she spat. "And start figuring this shit out."

I felt my own anger rising. "What about you?" I yelled. "What have you done to help the situation?"

"I don't live in their fucking house!" She retorted. "There has to be something there!"

"Like what? You didn't see the mess they left for me. It's like a tornado went through the entire house! How am I supposed to find anything in a place like that?"

"Maybe by getting off your ass and looking-"

"You two need to calm the fuck down," Miku said, moving between us. "This is not what we came here for."

"Then what did you come here for?" I spat, still angry.

Gumi suddenly lowered her head, her shoulders slumping as all the anger literally drained out of her. After a pause, she sniffled. "I just wanted to see my Rinny."

Sure, leaving Len was horrible. Sure, doing interviews and shows alone were awful. Sure, living alone was like hell. But seeing Gumi, my Gumi, start crying caused an ache in my chest that convinced me that my heart had physically broken.

Miku patted her comfortingly on the back.

"Gumi…" I trailed off, watching her with guilt.

"I just - just want everything to go back," she muttered. "I hate them. I hate them."

A few deep breaths, I felt confident enough to finally speak. "You're right," I said. "I was giving up. And I shouldn't."

"I just want you to come back."

"I just want to come back."

She left Miku's hand, throwing her arms around my shoulders. Though she was hiding it well, I caught a glimpse of her tear-stained face. I cast an apologetic glance at Miku as she sobbed into my arms.

I chuckled softly. "Was I really a stuck-up bitch when I joined?" I asked softly.

Despite herself, I felt her let out a laugh in response. "You were like one of those snobby people who walked with their nose straight up."

Miku shrugged and added with a smile, "She's not wrong."

My smile disappeared, and I sighed. "I'm sorry for yelling."

"Me too."

"I'll figure things out. One of us will."

"I'll try to find something."

"Okay."

"Okay." She rubbed her tears onto my jacket, then took a step away.

"As much as it sucks, we probably need to get back-"

"I know," I responded. "Don't want to raise suspicion or anything."

Gumi cast one more look towards me. "I talked about all those good times we had, and not the good times we haven't had," she smiled sadly. "Not yet, anyway."

I smiled. "I'll see you guys. Soon."

Miku gave me one more hug. Gumi cast her glance towards the club, and, when she wasn't paying attention, I whispered to Miku. "I thought you guys had forgotten about me."

"Hah!" She let out a laugh. Gumi looked towards us. Neither of them said anything more, merely waving and turning their backs on me.

When I finally reached home, my legs were exhausted from walking, and everything was cold.

I had been lucky enough to hail down a (very surprised) taxi during my search for a hotel, and here I was, trudging snow into the flat in the earliest hours of the morning. I peeled my frozen outerwear off, leaving it to melt on the floor, and collapsed onto my bed.

I felt like I had blinked, but when I opened by eyes, the clock told me that two hours had passed. I was awoken by a gentle tapping on the window. It must be raining, my tired mind thought, completely forgetting that it was the dead of winter. It stopped, then started again.

Tap tap tap.

Alarmed, I slowly opened my eyes once more, looking through the window. There was someone out there.

What the fuck? I felt my heartbeat pick up. My first thought was that someone was trying to break in. Realizing the stupidity of that, given the crazy security of the place, I pushed it out of my mind. That must mean one of the callbacks, or maybe more, were trying to fuck with me. I had been lucky in avoiding them so far, but it seems all luck eventually ran out.

I shot out of bed, turned the light on, and froze.

Len was standing outside of my flat.

The room was huge, and yet I managed to cross it in a single leap before throwing open the door.

"You fucking asshole!" I hissed. "You scared the shit out of me-"

But he cut me off, entering the flat and throwing his arms around me. He kicked the door shut behind us. "Sorry," he whispered. "I was trying to be sneaky."

I took a deep breath in, the familiar scent of his cologne filling my senses. "It's okay… I guess," I muttered with a smile.

His arms were tight around me. We stood in silence for a comfortable amount of time. His heartbeat. There it was.

He took a shaky breath. "I'm sorry," he said.

"For what?"

"My phone was on the counter. The one fucking time I leave my room. The one fucking time I'm stupid enough to take it out of my pocket. I should have known she was going to grab it, look through it or something. I should have known-"

"Len," I interrupted him, pulling back to look at him. "It's okay. I was stupid to think she wouldn't answer."

He smiled sadly at me, then kissed me. It was just as amazing as I remembered.

Pulling back, his eyes scanned the room. "This place… sucks."

I couldn't help but laugh. "Yeah. Tell me about it. You should have seen it when I got here."

"What happened?" His arms fell from around me as he began to walk around the room.

"They tore everything apart," I explained. "Hence why I'm sleeping on a pile of pillows instead of a mattress. It's all in the back if you're interested. Erik helped me clean most of it out."

"Does he come here a lot?"

I shrugged. "He tries. I know he's busy. But it's kinda nice. It's… it's weird being alone."

He turned to face me again, taking his hands in mine and planting a kiss on my forehead. "I'm sorry I couldn't come earlier."

"Don't want to break the rules," I half-joked, looking down at the floor.

He sighed. "I can't stay long, either. I told Kanon I was going to visit my parents in town and she was dumb enough to believe me."

"How is it?" I asked. "Her being there?"

"Horrible," he answered with a blank expression. "It's awful."

"Has she done anything…?"

"Well," he sat on the pile of pillows, and leaned back. "She deleted all of our recordings in the living room."

I couldn't help but chuckle. "What'll we do now?"

"She can't cook for shit. Every time she turns on the stove the fire alarms go off twenty minutes later."

"You're just used to my amazing meals."

"I am," he agreed. "Even if she wasn't a horrible cook, I wouldn't go within twenty feet of anything she makes. Probably has rat poison in it or something."

I layed on the pillows next to him, curling into a ball. "True. True."

"The show was awful."

I took a deep breath. "The free one?"

"Yeah."

"...I watched it."

He nodded. "Miku told us about your text. We all figured."

"I think you did good."

"It sucked."

I scooted a bit closer, grabbing his hand in mine and snuggling my nose against his shoulder. "Error was really good."

He didn't say anything for a moment. "I thought I was gonna have a heart attack on stage."

"I don't see why. It was amazing."

He just shrugged.

"Don't shrug at me, Kagamine," I said, lifting my head up. "It was."

He had been looking up at the ceiling. Turning slightly to meet my gaze, he asked, "Did you like our setlist?"

"Ask Ia." I didn't know how to tell him I was sobbing the entire time while also telling him it was the most touching thing anyone had ever done for me. "I couldn't stop watching it."

"Tatsuo was pissed."

"Is he around a lot?"

"Since I have the great pleasure of rooming with his daughter, I see him just about every day."

"Is Anon with you too?"

"No. I don't know what she's doing. I don't care."

"Weird," I responded. "Does Erik come by?"

"Yeah. Lot's of meetings with Tatsuo. But he doesn't talk to us." He took a deep breath. "I think he feels guilty."

"He shouldn't," I said. "But I've noticed that too."

"He really shouldn't," he agreed. "This was all my fault, anyway."

"Shut up."

"You can't even deny it," he said with a small smile. "I knew it was against the rules and I did it anyway."

"We did a bunch of stuff that was against the stupid rules. No one ever cared."

He was silent.

"If it's anyone's fault, it's theirs. Not ours. Besides," I propped myself up on one arm. "Even if I'd known what was gonna happen, I would have done it anyway."

"Done what?" He asked, looking up at me with that hazy gaze. "I was the one who came up with the whole serenade thing. Don't take credit for my hard work."

"Excuse me," I said, leaning forward with a sly smile. "I think I was the one who initiated our first kiss in a room full of all of our friends."

"Yeah," he breathed in mock disappointment. "I guess."

I kissed him again, and layed back down. We sat together in peaceful silence for a long time. Just the feeling of being in each other's presence was so satisfying, neither of us felt the need for words.

"Len," I said suddenly. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure." He turned on his side, facing me. One of his hands pillowed his head, while the other rested on my waist.

I couldn't tell if I was crossing a line here, but this had been eating at me since the moment I met him and the others. "You said you told Kanon that you were going to see your parents."

He frowned. "Yeah."

"Where… where are they?"

His expression darkened, and I instantly regretted asking.

"If you don't want to-"

"No, no. It's okay. I don't know," he answered. "I don't know where they are."

"...are they… alive?"

"I would think so. I haven't heard anything otherwise."

"When's the last time you saw them?"

"...a long time."

I didn't want to ask for the story. But I didn't have to. With a sigh, he began.

"They were all cool growing up. Like, things were fine. We lived in this nice house in this nice neighborhood, I went to a nice school, I was pretty spoiled growing up, all that stuff. Looking back now, I can see that my parents were real snobs. They cared about me and all, but it was always about looking nice and dressing nice and acting nice to these fake people at these stupid parties - you know. The struggles of high class society." He seemed grimly amused at the phrase. "Anyway. My music finally started getting attention. Erik signed me. Next thing I knew, I was as rich as they were. But nothing really changed with the way I lived. But my parents were just… greedy. They wanted everything I had, saying all those excuses, like 'We took care of you, and now you need to take care of us' sort of thing."

"Jeez," I said, frowning.

"Yeah. And for a while I was cool with it. Like, I was making too much to care, I was more into the actual shows, hanging out with Miku. Eventually we signed Luka. The three of us were like a trio, you know. I was having way too much fun with the whole celebrity thing to realize that my parents were practically stealing all of my money."

"Why would they need to do that? They were already fine."

"That's the thing," he explained. "Nothing was ever really… enough for them. Like, they wanted something, they got it, and then they needed something else. And then something else. Until they just lived in this mansion with everything they could ever want, and never feeling any satisfaction from it. So, when I realized exactly what they were doing, I cut them off."

It was a depressing story, but I couldn't help but let out a little chuckle. "You cut your parents off?"

He mirrored me. "Yeah. Weird, I know."

"And I'm assuming they didn't take it well?"

His face suddenly cleared itself of all emotion. The abrupt change disturbed me. His eyes lowered to the space between us. "I have a little sister."

"What?" I furrowed my brow. "I never heard of-"

"I know," he admitted. "No one has. Because my parents were so pissed off when I stopped giving them money, they refused to let me see her."

I didn't know how to respond. "Len…"

He smiled sadly, still not looking at me. "Her name is Lenka. My parents thought it was cute. I think she's twelve now. Probably doesn't even remember me. At least, not as her big bro."

I rested a hand on his cheek in an attempt to comfort him. "You haven't talked to her, either?"

He shook his head. "No," he whispered, almost too soft for me to hear.

Shifting a bit, I wrapped both my arms around his shoulders, hugging him into my chest. His hair was still damp from the snowfall outside. He was silent in my arms.

I was desperate to change the subject. Seeing him this sad was heartbreaking. "It was just you and Miku in the beginning, right?"

He nodded. "Until Luka came by."

"When did the guys move in?"

"Katio came a few years later. Then Meiko not too long after. And then Gaku, then Gumi."

"So…" I trailed off. "You were alone with the girls for a while?"

He leaned back, looking up at me, blinking. And then, just as suddenly a he had wiped his face of emotion only seconds before, he began laughing at me.

"Len!" I scolded, feeling a blush rise to my cheeks. "It's a serious question!"

"Yes," he answered between laughs. "Teenage me was living alone with two girls for about a year."

I looked away from him. "And nothing ever-"

He rolled onto his back, a hand rising to cover his eyes as he laughed.

"I'm just curious!" I yelled. But he paid no attention to me. So, pouting, I crossed my arms and rolled over, facing away from him. "Come on," I muttered softly.

"Okay, okay. I'm sorry. It's just-" Another fit engulfed him.

My face was burning.

Just as his chuckles finally died down, he wrapped an arm around my waist once more, the final hints of his fit coming out in short breaths against my hair. "No," he finally answered. "Nothing ever happened."

I sighed in content.

"Except this one time-"

"Len!"

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding. Jeez." He nuzzled his nose into my hair, his voice lowering. "There was never anyone like you."

I turned over in his grasp, facing him once more. Our noses were nearly touching, and our breaths shared the same air. "...What about the girl that Kanon convinced-"

His half-smile cut me off. "You threatened by my exes that much?" He joked.

"No! It's not like that. Like…" I trailed off, trying to find the right words to say. "I hate the idea of you growing up with… no one."

"You said you didn't have any other relationships."

"Yeah, but I had a better… upbringing." I was prying way too much. I knew it. But I couldn't stop. After being with him so long, it was odd noticing how little I knew about him.

He sighed, catching my meaning. "She was okay," he offered. "But she knew Kanon was… the way she was. Still is. And she still believed her over me." He shrugged. "I don't have any interest in people like that. Also, don't think I came up completely deprived of any kind of… family."

I watched him intently.

"Because, while I wasn't fucking either of them," he grinned slyly at me, and I pouted again. "Miku and Luka were, like, so different from anyone else I had been friends with. It was nice having people around who didn't just care about the way I dressed, or how much money I had, or all the stupid shit I'd done. You know," he continued. "Real friends. Real friends that were like family."

He was right. It was comforting.

"I missed you," I suddenly said, closing my eyes. An unfamiliar feeling of contentedness overwhelmed me.

His arm tightened around me. "I missed you, too."

"I thought you guys had forgotten about me."

For a while, he didn't say anything. Then, just when I thought he had forgotten about it, his hand rose from my waist to my cheek, and I felt him gently press his lips against my forehead.

"Rin," he said, his breath brushing against my closed eyes. "Hell will freeze over, Anon and Kanon will stop being bitches, and Miku and Luka will finally agree on a color before I ever forget about you."

I giggled softly at the promise.

I'll remember that.