KissMeDeadlyT-T: Doop-dee-doop who got a cold mid-summer oh me that's who (yes, again.)

Whatever though, my cold can suck a cock because oooooo shit I went to an anime convention and got ROY MUSTANG IGNITION GLOVES THAT'S RIGHT which I wore to type this up aw yiss. I got a bunch of other stuff too. All of it is FMA. This freakin' manga RUNS MY LIIIIIFEEE. *cries*

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Title: Of colds and cuddly bastards

Rating: T

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"Roooy," Ed whined from the next room— the guest bedroom, where he'd ended up falling asleep last night only to not be able to properly get up the next morning. "I'm hungrryyyy," he droned in a stuffy voice, followed by a series of nasty coughs and then a long, "Uuuuugh."

Roy resisted the urge to screech at the top of his lungs. Instead, he patiently placed his book down, took a deep breath to calm himself, then called back, "What do you want me to do about it?"

"Get me a snack," Ed pouted. God, the patheticness just oozed in his voice. Roy grit his teeth. Ed was the worst when he was sick. Whinier and needier than a newborn baby, Roy swore.

"Can't you get one yourself? I'm trying to read."

"It's your fault I'm bedridden!"

"It's my fault you decided to go out in the rain last week and get a cold? Right, I'm sorry, I completely forgot that I'm the one who decides the weather and makes all of your stupid-ass decisions."

"I mean it's your fault I can't walk and get it myself," Ed sniffed indignantly, his voice plugged and nasally. His cold was a particularly nasty one, and Roy almost felt bad. Almost. A teensy bit. "I told you I wasn't feeling well last night."

"Excuse you, Edward Elric, you came onto me. I tried talking you out of it, but no dice."

"Tch, yeah, well, whatever, you went along with it, and don't you Edward Elric me, Roy Mustang."

"You're really making me want to get you a snack. Keep going, Ed, really. You're just charming me."

"Well excuse me, princess." Ed cleared his throat, making a gross hacking sound that made Roy wince slightly. "If I ask nicely will you?"

"Possibly."

"Alright, will you please get me something to eat?" Then, as an afterthought, he sarcastically added, "Darling."

"Not if you call me that."

"For fuck's sake, bastard, grab me some goddamned food."

"Fine," Roy sighed frustratedly and got to his feet. "What do you want?"

"I don't care," Ed replied. His voice sounded muffled, like maybe he'd curled up and brought the blankets up to his face. It was such an adorable image that Roy couldn't stay annoyed, not really. He wandered to the adjoined kitchen, tapping his fingers along the surface of the granite counter as he went. Ed only had a cold; there was nothing wrong with his stomach, but he was always a bit pickier about what he could force down when he was sick. After a moment of looking through his cupboards, he eventually pulled out a can of chicken noodle soup, pouring it into a pot and turning on an element on the stove to warm it up. While he was waiting, he walked to the guest bedroom.

"Chicken noodle soup," he said as he pushed the door open and strolled in. "Good?"

"Mmm," Ed hummed back. "Fantastic." His voice was adorably stuffy and Roy couldn't help but smile.

"How are you feeling?"

"Like shit, thanks for asking." Ed rolled over, pushing himself up on his metal arm to look at Roy. A wince shot through the boy's body, and Roy hurried over to help him, ignoring the muttered protests because it was obvious how achy Ed was. "Fuckin' stupid," Ed grumbled through grit teeth, clinging to Roy's side with tears beading in the corners of his eyes. "Feels like something's stabbing me from the inside."

Roy could sympathize; he didn't get a cold often, but when he did, he got the aches and pains bad. "I know," he said, gently propping Ed up with the many pillows scattered around him. He moved away slightly once Ed was upright, but Ed still didn't let go, clinging to his side like a little koala. Roy had to smile again; Ed might be a pain in the ass when he was sick, but he was clingy, too. And it was honestly quite adorable.

"Want a painkiller?"

"Just took cough medicine, gotta wait an hour," Ed muttered into his chest. He sounded drowsy.

"Don't fall asleep," Roy teased. "Weren't you the one bitching about being hungry?"

"I am hungry," Ed sighed. "And I'm not falling asleep. You're warm and I'm freezing."

Roy raised an eyebrow. "You have four blankets on."

"I'm still cold." To prove it, Ed placed his flesh palm on Roy's cheek. "See."

"I'll grab you another blanket," Roy said, standing up. Ed's hand shot out and grabbed his wrist.

"I don't need another blanket," he protested. "I need you. Stay."

Roy smiled again, turning his head to the side to hide it. "I'll come back," he promised. "There's soup on the stove. I should go check it. I'll bring it and another blanket and I'll sit with you for a bit, okay?"

"Okay," came Ed's stuffy voice, stifled by the blankets brought up to his nose. His tired gold eyes trailed on Roy as he got to his feet. "You better."

"I will, Ed," Roy said, chuckling. "Just relax."

After a drowsy reply in return, Roy left the room. By the time he returned to the kitchen, the soup was just beginning to boil, so he hastily poured it into a bowl and added an icecube to cool it. There was a soft 'clink' as he let the spoon drop onto the side of the bowl. Balancing it in his right hand, he carefully grabbed a blanket from the couch he'd been reading on earlier in his left and dragged it to the guestroom. Ed's eyes peeked at him from the top of the blanket.

"Hold on a second," Roy said, doing his best not to spill the soup. He put it down on the dresser by the door and spread the blanket on top of Ed's pile, helping Ed prop himself back up before grabbing the bowl and handing it to Ed's outstretched hands. "It might be hot," he warned, but Ed didn't seem to care and cradled the bowl to his chest, making a small humming sound of appreciation.

"I'm so cold," he whispered, a shiver shaking him suddenly as if to back it up. He fumbled and nearly dropped the soup all over himself, and he would have if Roy hadn't hastily caught the bowl before it could tip. "Sorry," Ed murmured. He gingerly sipped at it, sighing as warmth slid down his throat. "Thanks."

Roy got comfy next to him, doing his best not to jar Edward's already shaky hold on the bowl. "Don't mention it," he murmured, wrapping an arm around Ed's shoulders and gently pulling him closer. Ed melted into the embrace, a soft sigh leaving his lips.

"God, you're so warm," he sighed. He sipped at the soup again. "I think I'd probably die without you. Just become a human icicle and die."

"Don't say that," Roy said, "your temper is too hot for that to happen."

"Just when I thought you were gonna be sweet," Ed joked, supping the broth and grinning weakly up at him. Roy smiled back, rubbing the cold skin of Ed's flesh arm, hoping the friction might help warm him up. Ed curled closer until he was almost sat atop him, sipping at his soup with the spoon, sniffling occasionally. He was tense— the aches weren't going away at all, not even with the cough medicine he said he'd taken. Roy's heart felt heavy. He wished he could do something to help, but there wasn't much he could do. Colds this time of year were nasty.

"Hey," Ed murmured when he finished his soup. The spoon clattered in the bowl as Roy took it from him and put it on the night table. "Don't feel bad," he said, cuddling closer. Roy eventually decided to just get under the blankets with him, so he did, feeling Ed's smile against his neck. They lay there like that, curled up together, as Ed sighed into his chest, "You're helping a lot more than you think."

"Still…"

"No, really." Ed looked up at him. "Just lying here with me is good enough. You're warm. And I don't think about how shitty I feel as much." He smiled again. "You're like a giant teddy bear."

Roy totally took it back— Ed was annoying when he was sick, but he was annoying all the time. Apparently having a cold really just brought out Ed's sweet side. It was adorable. "Maybe you should have a cold more often," he said thoughtfully. "I think it's been a full fifteen minutes since you last insulted me."

"You're a bastard," Ed supplied, pressing his cold flesh toes and even colder metal ones against Roy's legs. A grin curled his lips when Roy hissed. "A cuddly bastard, though."

"I guess that's the best compliment I'll get."

"Unless you count lovable piece of shit."

"I think I'll stick to cuddly bastard."

"Good," Ed grinned. "I thought you'd like that one."

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KissMeDeadlyT-T: I WANT A LOVABLE PIECE OF SHIT ROY AWWW

*LOL oops, had an awkward typo, thanks to the anon for pointing it out. XD "Couch medicine" LOL FUCK YOU KEYBOARD