ragtagg asked you:
Story Prompt: A Nami POV on Zoro/Sanji featuring the line, "Their love is idiotic."
Their love is idiotic.
That is the conclusion that Nami has reached after months of watching the two morons on her ship. Specifically the moron who brought her drinks and the moron who owed her more money than he had any hope of repaying.
Sanji is too flighty with his feelings, too emotionally volatile and too quick too spite. Zoro on the other hand, despite his façade of apathy/anger is actually quite sensitive and thoughtful. So the absolute worst person for him to be with is Sanji, it's stupid. It's beyond stupid, even for Zoro. And he had stupid down to an art form. Moron.
"Well fuck you! You can just go jerk off all by yourself forever because I'd sooner cut out my own tongue than touch you again, seeing as you've got so many more important things to do than be with me!" Sanji screams, stomping across the deck and slamming the kitchen door after himself. Nami rubs her forehead, a headache is building there.
"SHUT YOUR YAP COOK! I JUST SAID WAIT FIVE SECONDS!" Zoro hollers after him, but of course Sanji has already decided that he's not going to play nice and now he's not going to go back on it.
"Sanji!" Zoro calls, following him into the kitchen.
Great. He never learns.
Nami listens for the smash of furniture and the shatter of crockery, mentally tallying up all that they're breaking and adding the amount to Sanji's bill as this is clearly his fault. Though Zoro ought to have half of it for not being smart enough not to know better than to follow Sanji in when he's like that.
She looks over her sunglasses as Zoro is punted clean out of the kitchen door and lands on his face in the lawn. Zoro's really in the dog house now.
Zoro disappears overboard with a harpoon after that. The blonde idiot starts to calm down a little for being left alone.
Eventually Nami watches as the harpoon-wielding moron returns to the ship with a gorgeously plump elephant tuna, one of Sanji's absolute favourites. Zoro kneels down and guts the fish just the way Sanji taught him when Zoro started catching things for them. She raises her eyebrows as Zoro carefully washes the deck off, leaps overboard again to clean himself, climbs out and towels himself off and removes any errant sea-weed or fish parts. She watches Zoro carefully pad up to the galley door with the prepared tuna and gently knock on the door, holding the fish carefully.
"WH- oh." Sanji's rant is cut short as he spies the fish in Zoro's arms. The cook inspects it carefully and then with a slow nod gets Zoro into the galley with it. Sanji shuts the door and after a while and some background cooking noises she manages to strain her ears to hear the cook sigh and the sound of clothing being discarded.
She rolls her eyes, their love is idiotic, but then they're idiots, so it works.