Author's Note: Originally this chapter was supposed to be a part of the last chapter but since I was trying to publish that chapter so quickly I decided to cut this part out and use it for this chapter. So enjoy everyone! As always review and comment! ^_^
She stood there staring at the floor. Frozen in shame and guilt she could only stand there like she was merely existing and not living.
"Roza…" A soft male voice called out to her.
She turned around slowly and looked at him with eyes empty as the void of space, "Goten…" She said without the slightest hint of emotion.
He wrapped his arms around her, "I've been looking everywhere for you. Are you okay? You seem like you're out of it."
"What did I tell you about hugging me. It's not right for you to hug me." She told him.
"You can't tell me not to love you. Roza, you're my girlfriend…my lover, I can't just shut my love off for you no matter how much you hurt me." He said with a slight smile trying to get her to lighten up.
She gritted her teeth and smacked him across the face, "Everyone has their pain limits…eventually you'll stop loving me! You'll see!"
"Don't say that…" He said in a tone that displayed she had just hurt him bad.
"Well it's true! I'll prove it to you!" She shouted.
"What do you mean?" He asked nervously.
"I'll show you and then we'll see if you still love me!" She shouted and gripped her fist.
Suddenly she smacked him again and then again and again and again. Over and over until his cheeks were a bright stinging red. Tears coming down his cheeks barely soothed the sting on his cheeks. Fueled by anger she continued to smack him until his faced was bruised badly. Then she realized that he wasn't going to fight back.
She cried and shook her head, "You idiot what is wrong with you! Defend yourself! Fight back! Stop me from hurting you!"
He shook his head and simply said, "No…I wont."
Her eyes widened and she stepped back, "What! No way! How can you resist hurting me when I have hurt you so much?"
"Because I love you." He answered simply.
She cried like crazy and screamed as loud as she could. Goten grabbed her by her shoulders and shook her to get her to calm down.
"Roza…wake up! Wake up!" Goten commanded.
Everything went black then Roza opened her eyes and gasped as she sat up. She looked at her hands and looked at the fire place next to her. She realized she was back in the Son home.
"I was dreaming…" She said to herself.
"I'll say…" Said a voice coming from a boy on the couch.
She looked up at the boy and recognize him as Goten. He was cuddled in a blanket sitting on the couch drinking hot chocolate.
She grasped her forehead and looked sick, "I feel ill."
"Well that usually happens when you jump into an ice cold pond. You got me sick too when I jumped in to save you." He told her.
She lowered her head and sighed, "I'm sorry"
Lights flashed behind her. She turned around and stared at the source of the lights. A pine tree with beautiful and colorful flashing lights. Decorated with ornaments and other decorations. Finished with a glowing star on top.
"What is it?" She asked.
"A Christmas Tree. Christmas is a holiday of giving and spending time with friends and family. It's the birthday of a savior." He answered.
Goten stood up and walked over to the tree. He looked at a small paper cut out angel decorated with glitter, "I made this when I was seven years old. I made this because Gohan and mom said that my dad was angel now. He was still dead at the time. But the next Christmas was wonderful because it was the first Christmas I spent with my dad." Goten smiled.
Goten turned and looked at Roza, "This Christmas can be special too…it will be the first one I get to spend with you. But it will only be special if you let it be."
"What do you mean?" She asked.
He knelt down on his knees and stroked her cheek, "Please accept my forgiveness as a gift. And give yourself a gift of self forgiveness."
She looked down and whispered, "But I…"
"Roza please! I can't take this anymore! Seeing you hurt yourself like this is too much for me. Look Roza, maybe I'm sick in the head for still loving you but I don't care….I can't stop loving you." He begged.
"Goten…what do you expect us to do just forget the past and act like those things never happened." She asked.
He shook his head, "No…we can't forget what happened…it's just…well it's complicated. I guess the best way to describe it is that…well bad guys always say darkness will consume everything or something like that…so I guess what I'm saying is if you forgive yourself and we make new happy memories then maybe light will consume our lives….consume the even the memories and the pain and take away the hurt."
"Please Roza…" He begged.
She could see the hurt in his eyes. She saw how much he was holding back his anger and trying to be like his father and forgive. Here she was beating herself up and making it hard for him to be happy with her. She realized every time she hurt herself she was also hurting him.
She sighed and said, "I'm so weak…you find the strength to forgive me yet I'm so weak I can't even forgive myself…I'm pathetic…"
He moved over and got under the blanket with her. He looked into her eyes and kissed her lips softly, "Then stop being weak…be strong and forgive yourself….we're both still alive so let's be strong and make the future better than the past."
She started crying in buried her face in his chest, "I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry….I'm such a fool…."
He held her close and whispered, "It's okay…we'll make things better now….I love you, Roza."
She loved feeling his arms around her again and the way he kissed her always made her feel loved, "I missed this…I missed how it feels to be held by you….I'm so sorry I hurt you…I love you, Son Goten. I'll spend every day of the rest of my life loving you."
"You can't imagine how happy I am to hear that." He said nuzzling his head against hers.
Goten looked up and smiled, "Mistletoe"
Roza looked up, "What's mistletoe?"
"A special plant that two people must kiss under" Goten blushed.
Roza blushed as well, "Oh."
They leaned in and kissed each other passionately for the first time in months. Warmed by the fire and comforted by the blanket they fell into a deep sleep together as the snow fell softly outside.
Upstairs Goku was getting ready for bed. Chi-Chi sat on the bed in her gown. She waited for Goku to say something but after a few moments she decided to speak up.
"So are you going to tell me what's been bothering you?" Chi-Chi asked.
Goku froze. He looked down and prepared himself for what he knew he had to do. "You sure you want to hear what I'm about to tell you? It's not going to be easy to hear, Chi-Chi."
"Come here honey." Chi-Chi told him.
Goku crawled into bed next to his wife and blushed when she held him close to her. She stroked his hair and kissed the top of his head.
"Honey, it's okay. Whatever it is you can tell me. You know I can never hate you, sweetheart. I'll always love you." She promised him.
Chi-Chi could see Goku was visibly shaken by whatever it was that was bothering him. She kissed his cheek and tried to sooth him by rubbing his back which was something that seemed to sooth Goku and both of his sons, "Goku…" She said in a more serious yet assuring tone, "You can tell me anything…don't be afraid…"
Goku nodded and began to explain, "After I beat Frieza on Namek…I landed on the planet Yardrat and learned instant transmission. One day I was practicing the technique by transporting from world to world. I landed on a planet and found myself out of energy. A saiyan woman met me there. This woman was Turles' wife, Roza's mother. Since I looked so much like her deceased husband she couldn't stand to see me go so she…" Goku paused.
Chi-Chi saw the tears that softly streamed down his cheeks and she knew whatever happened must have been terrible. She was shocked to learn Goku had met Roza's mother so long ago but right now that didn't matter to her. All that mattered is what was making her husband upset.
"It's okay Goku, tell me what she did…I'm not going to be upset with you." She held him tighter.
He closed his eyes and barely managed to say, "She drugged me and….raped me…" A waterfall of tears were let loose.
Chi-Chi's eyes widened. Absolute shock came over her. It was hard to imagine that the most powerful man in the universe could be drugged and raped but Chi-Chi knew Goku's heart and knew he wasn't making this up.
What Chi-Chi didn't realize is her long moment of pause was giving Goku the wrong impression.
"You hate me…don't you?" He broke out of her arms and ran to a corner crying and clenching his chest as he was forced to take deep breaths from the anxiety he was overcome with.
Chi-Chi quickly realized her mistake and tried to fix it. She jumped out of bed and ran over to her husband taking him back into her arms and crying with him.
"Goku no…Sweetheart I don't hate you….sweetheart this wasn't your fault. Why didn't you ever tell me about this before?" She asked.
Goku looked down in shame, "I thought if you knew you would think I cheated on you and…I was afraid you would leave me…"
"Oh baby…You should have known better. Goku I wouldn't have left you…I would have done everything I could to help you. You've been hiding this all these years…the pain that must have been eating away at you…" Chi-Chi led him back to the bed and cuddled him in comfort.
Goku tried to regain his train of thought and told her the rest, "Roza would have had to have been a year or two old by the time I met her mother because I had killed Turles before then. So Roza had to have been conceived sometime before Turles came to Earth. I didn't see a little a girl at the time I met Roza's mother and when Roza came to Earth and told us she was in fact Turles' daughter well I…I was worried Roza may have been my daughter and if she was then…she couldn't be with Goten…so I had Bulma do a DNA test…thankfully Roza isn't my daughter…she's really Turles' daughter…"
Chi-Chi petted Goku's head and snuggled him, "Oh baby…I had no idea that….I'm just so sorry Goku….I wish I would have known sooner….listen baby don't hide anything like this from me ever again…please….now rest Goku…rest and I promise we'll get through this together."
Goku felt loved in her arms and now for the first time in months he felt at ease. Like a heavy burden had been lifted. He quickly fell into what would be the best sleep he would have in a long time.
Chi-Chi on the other hand had a lot to think about. As she thought about what Goku had just admitted all she could do is whisper his name in sorrow, "Goku…"