Hero's Song Chapter 35: Alanna: If I Could Have You Back, a song of the lioness fanfic

Disclaimer: Not. Mine.
Song: If I Could Have You Back by Aly & AJ
Character(s)/POV(s): Alanna
Pairing: past A/J, some A/G
Reason: It's been on my list for almost a year, I had to get it done sometime…
Posted: 5/13/08
A/N: I realize that it's been almost another month, but I'm finding it harder and harder to write songfics…I do enjoy it, but it's not nearly as much fun as it used to be. I've just finished school this last week, so I'll try to write more of them more often. I don't particularly like this songfic, it's not horrible, but I don't think it's up to my usual...Anyway, enjoy!

On the subject of you being gone forever
I still can't believe it, I can't see it
I should just stop counting days
On the subject of the future
Wouldn't it be nice to leave it open ended
And pretend it could go either way

Alanna of Trebond and Olau stared out at the desert in front of her. It had been three weeks since her fight with Jonathan. A part of her couldn't believe it, while another part was glad that he was gone. Maybe, before the fight, she might have accepted his proposal, but she wasn't meant to be queen. She knew that she would have made a horrible queen. Tortall would have paid dearly for her mistake. Yes, she loved Jonathan, but he needed someone who was bred for ruling. Alanna was a fighter, a knight, but not a lady, not a queen.

If I could have you back
I'd think about it once or twice I guess
If I could have you back
I'd reconsider, maybe I'd say yes
On the other hand it would be
Better to have a life
Without the constant indecision over
If I could have you back
If I could have you back

Alanna did wonder what she would do if there was a chance for her and Jonathan to rekindle their relationship the next time she saw him. Maybe she would reconsider then….No. It would be nice, but it wouldn't work. She had to stand with her decision. There was no going back. She and Jon just weren't meant to be.

On the topic of the time we spent together
I can't say I never wonder
If you ever think about those days

When she was traveling, she began to think about Jonathan and the news of his new relationship with the Copper Isles princess. Did he ever think about her, wonder if she was alright? She knew she shouldn't think about it, but she really did miss him, even if it was just as a friend. He was still her friend.

Once back at the palace with the Jewel, Alanna began to wonder again, would she take him back if he apologized? A simple answer. No. She was slowly coming to realize that, despite her feelings for him, the love that they had shared wasn't the kind that lasted forever. Neither was what she had had with Liam. The only one who loved her like that was George, who had always stood in the distance, waiting for her to realize it. It was better for her to know that than to have her mind struggling with whether or not she would accept Jonathan's proposal.

It's game over
You've lost this round
And now I get to turn you down
Thanks for all the lessons learned
I'm takin' in what I have heard
Practice makes perfect

When Jon came to see her before the coronation, he asked her again. Alanna just smiled and shook her head.

"You're a good man, Jon, but not the right one for me. You don't want me as queen. Besides, I've seen the way you and Thayet look at each other. She will make a good queen." She walked away, leaving a slightly dumbstruck Jonathan in her wake.

Alanna was sure of it now. She had made the right choice – it was better than having that little bit of indecision left in her heart. She had George, and Jonathan had Thayet, who were better for both of them. She was glad that she hadn't accepted his offer. She wouldn't have taken it, even if she had the chance to..

A/N: Don't forget to review! Or vote in the poll.

And this time, your choices are:

Rosto: Here

Daine: Thoughts of You