A/n: Thanks to NikkiB1973 for posting a new story called "Fever". It's a brilliant P/T fic based on one of my fave episodes "Blood Fever". I really recommend reading it, it's awesome so far! :)
Chakotay shifted irritably on the thin, scratchy sheets of his hospital bed, there where none of the sleek, Starfleet issue, biobeds here, and was punished by a sharp searing pain radiating over his whole upper torso from the wound in his chest. He ignored it as best he could though and moved again, too many noxious thoughts were attacking his brain to give him the peace his healing body needed and in fact at that dark moment he found physical pain a blessed distraction. It was either that or he found a way to dope himself up to the point where he forgot what Seska had told him, what she had implied… A frustrated growl that became a groan left his throat as his mind came back to Seska. When he thought of her his chest hurt, not at his wound but somewhere deep inside, his heart squeezing. She'd been so violent, so bitter in her tirade that he was angry and ashamed of himself for being attracted to such a person, what had he been thinking? The rose-tinted glasses she'd skilfully placed over his eyes with her beauty, charm and wit had been spectacularly knocked aside by her actions and words, the wild accusations that he didn't, couldn't, believe. He'd seen the worst side of her character, and now, as he anxiously mulled the day over in his mind, he couldn't help but resent his own. He wanted to be able to dismiss what he'd heard with an unconcerned ease, but he'd found in these hours that he wasn't as trusting as he'd always thought he was, couldn't calm himself with the thought that he hadn't heard the facts. The poisonous seed of a scenario that Seska had planted in his mind kept growing, becoming more twisted and uncontrollable with every passing minute.
He knew better, of course, than to take Seska's explanation of events while he'd been unconscious at face value. Even in good times Seska had a tendency to fight the truth and bend it to fit her point of view and he had no doubt that she'd done that now. Every time he tried to convince himself once and for all that it was all just a spouting of vindictive lies on Seska's part, the memory of Seven starting to plead, tearfully, for his forgiveness returned vividly to his mind. He'd thought at the time that she'd just been upset by his near death, but now he put more significance on it. Could she really have… Now that he analyzed it, the reluctance she'd shown to talk about the events after his injury was unusual and her quick dismissal of his question about the codes downright odd. In another person, this would have seemed far from damning, but the Seven he knew could recall events with an eerie accuracy and was often so uncompromisingly blunt about facts, never sugar-coating anything, that she was left in a social quagmire afterwards. In this way she was the opposite of Seska, but equally difficult to handle. As the possibility slowly became more concrete in his mind, the torture he felt increased. Despite himself, all the reasons why Seven might have done something like this kept occurring to him. Her sense of self was so tightly wrapped up in her "Collective", which was himself and the Valjean crew now, that he knew she'd do just about anything to protect them. It was a trait he respected, even hoped he shared, but sometimes she took it to the point of a martyr complex. She was naïve, with a more elastic moral code about certain things, or complete ignorance of them. That was a legacy of her time with the Borg no doubt, but would she really stoop to letting herself be defiled by a Cardassian for the sake of a set of codes, no matter how vital?
To his distress he realised he couldn't answer the question. He considered asking the nurse outside in the hall to get Tuvok for him, the astute Vulcan would surely know, and be willing to tell him honestly, what had gone on but he didn't he could face hearing what could be one of the worst answers in his life from the older man's calculatedly indifferent lips. He forced himself to sit up in bed as a hated conclusion hit his heart, he'd need to ask Seven himself. A sick feeling of dread ate at his gut as he began the struggle to climb out of bed, brought on by fear of her confirmation, and by the hurt he'd cause her just by asking. Lies or not, Seska could have just broken irreparably the ties of trust between himself and Seven that had taken years to form and to bind them close.
He felt a wince cross his face as he tried to manoeuvre off the bed and couldn't quite choke back a moan, but it was a newcomer's horrified gasp that filled the quiet room. "Chakotay, what are you doing?" B'Elanna exclaimed anxiously as she stood just inside the doorway.
Chakotay didn't meet her fearful, searching eyes in case his resolve should waver. "I need to talk to Seven…" He ground out through gritted teeth.
"About what?" B'Elanna demanded sharply, stepping further into the room.
Chakotay noticed her tone and stared at her levelly. "I spoke to Seska." He began tiredly, "Now I need to speak to Seven."
B'Elanna paled visibly at the mention of Seska's name and as Chakotay's eyes narrowed in dark suspicion she knew she had to say something. "Look Chakotay, I know Seska might have had some…theories about how we got those codes but…"
"Seven didn't go to the Cardassians?" Chakotay interrupted hopefully, his emotions plunging back down as he watched B'Elanna swallow. "Tell me everything you know…" He started angrily, trying again to stand up.
"For Kahless' sake Chakotay, you'll reopen your wound!" B'Elanna snapped, using all her strength to hold him back before sighing heavily. "She tricked the codes out of the Gul Ishek yes, but Seska is wrong, he barely touched her and I don't think she would've let him in the end. We were desperate Chakotay, even with faking the radiation leak we still wouldn't have been able to get out of there without those codes…"
"That doesn't justify the risk!" Chakotay burst out, "I can't believe she would even consider…" He stopped, choking on emotion as his cheeks reddened with exertion, "If that's the only explanation she can give me then…"
"It won't be." B'Elanna cut in, pushing him back to the bed, "I'll go get her before you make yourself haemorrhage." She muttered as she watched his chest heave for air, sighing in relief as he nodded.
B'Elanna couldn't help but rake over her shock at Chakotay's reaction as she moved hurriedly through the Valjean in search of Seven. She never would have thought that the calm and controlled Chakotay, often the only one whose softly spoken words of reason could dampen her own temper, would've lost his cool to such a degree. He'd almost reminded her of a martial argument she'd once witnessed between a friend's parents, the father nearly ripping his hair out as he demanded details of the mother's infidelity. She grimaced jealously at the surprising comparison but it had been made before, one of the Valjean crew's fonder nicknames for Seven wasn't "the missus" for nothing, said behind the backs of the oblivious pair who couldn't really be called a couple in normal terms.
B'Elanna's agitation rose even further as she saw Seven tampering with the warp engine control console, which was supposed to be her sole responsibility, but forced herself to overlook that in favour of the issue at hand. "You'd better leave that to me." She said shortly, "Chakotay wants to see you."
Seven immediately whirled around to face her, having ignored her entrance. "Has his condition worsened?"
"No." B'Elanna answered, unable to keep the relief from her voice, "But his mental state has, Seska has apparently been talking about you."
Seven's face, always naturally pale, drained of colour until it appeared disturbingly grey. "That is…unfortunate…" She admitted, gulping hard, "But he won't believe…"
B'Elanna took her arm and pulled her aside into a corner, glad that Engineering itself was almost deserted, the crew repairing the hull as per her instructions. "Well, he believed enough to be scared and want to know the truth from you." She replied in a low tone, glaring at Seven in exasperation, "You promised me you'd tell him to avoid a scene like this…" She hissed accusingly.
Seven bowed her head, her shame and guilt radiating from her and giving her a defeated air. "I tried…" She mumbled, "But it was very difficult for me and Seska interrupted…"
B'Elanna softened a little in understanding, but was still frustrated by the whole situation in which she'd somehow become entangled. "I know it would've been hard to tell him, but you've made it a hundred times worse by giving Seska the privilege…"
Seven flinched before meeting B'Elanna's gaze with her own eyes flashing. "You would never have told him either."
B'Elanna coloured, managing to stop herself from saying the "no" which echoed through her mind. She hated that Seven was right, and embarrassed that the Borg seemed to know of her powerful crush on Chakotay, obviously the drone was more observant that she was given credit for. "It doesn't matter what I would do!" she retorted hotly, "I didn't…"
"Didn't do what?" Chakotay's voice suddenly interrupted harshly from behind, much to the shock of the two women.
"Chakotay…" Seven began shakily, "You should be in the hospital, your wound…"
"Will still heal." Chakotay finished coldly as Seven nervously stopped her automatic move to go to him. "First I need to know what you've been hiding from me."
"Chakotay…" B'Elanna tried to intervene in a calming tone.
"Leave us alone for now B'Elanna." He ordered sharply, his soft, deep voice injected with such force that even her Klingon spirit quailed and she paused only for a moment before obeying. Chakotay's eyes followed her retreating back before regarding Seven again, "So, do you finally want to explain how you got those codes?" he asked, his tone so harsh that Seven winced.
"Yes." She whispered with a tiny, contrite nod. "The situation was…dire." She began heavily, "We were on the brink of being discovered, only the codes held by Gul Ishek would exempt us from being boarded, and most likely killed, by the Cardassians." She took a deep breath as Chakotay nodded, watching her intently, "Dalton had once informed me that women…of a certain type are not acknowledged by the security on Terok Din, they are allowed to move around as they please. It seemed to be the only way in. By using that story I managed to gain entry to Ishek's office, I was going to download the codes from his console and return to the Valjean…" She halted, her whole body shaking, "I did not expect to meet Ishek, I thought he'd be at his post after the damage caused by the plasma storm…" Chakotay snorted despite feeling an involuntary shudder passing through him as he sensed the crux of the story, "But he entered unexpectedly, he believed the deception and attempted to assault me." Seven swallowed, not daring to look up at Chakotay's face, "Thankfully, he was distracted and left me, then I was able to get the codes…"
She was surprised by the feeling of Chakotay's warm heavy breathing near her, he'd reached her side within a few strides despite his injury and now gripped her forearm tightly, forcing her gaze up to meet his heated one. "I can't believe you did something so reckless, so stupid…" He muttered, almost to himself.
Despite knowing she deserved the censure, Seven still wanted to explain herself. "I believed my actions were necessary to save the crew…"
"I don't care if you thought you were saving the Sacred Spirits!" Chakotay exclaimed angrily, almost shouting. "He could have raped you, he had the opportunity, or worse killed you!" When Seven didn't immediately respond, he continued thoughtlessly, rubbing a frustrated hand over his damp brow, "How can you still be so naïve Seven? I'm supposed to be able to trust your judgement…"
His last words stung despite her guilt and Seven wrenched herself away from him. "I did what I thought was necessary and right, you were dying, was I supposed to just allow that to happen?"
"No, but…" Chakotay started, rendered flustered by her retort, but soon his anger, fuelled by fear and a sense of betrayal, reasserted itself. "Didn't you ever think about what would've happened if they'd captured you? The Cardassians having access to your implants could lead to them ruling the Quadrant…"
Seven stiffened, her hurt, guilty exterior replaced by one of icy stoicism. "Yes, the Cardassians would covet me for my implants, but obviously the Maquis share that motive." She replied, her clear, sharp voice cutting through the still air, "I'm sure your standing in the movement would be damaged if you allowed the Cardassians to take a valuable being like a former drone."
Chakotay flinched as if she'd slapped him as the meaning of her statement sank in. "I didn't mean it like that! You know that isn't how it is…" His voice was shaking with the feelings of offence and hurt now flowing strongly through him.
"Do I?" Seven questioned challengingly, her eyes glistening as he fell into a stunned silence, "Logan was right." She murmured to herself.
"What has he got to do with this?" Chakotay snapped, the idea of Logan in relation to Seven hitting an unacknowledged nerve as always.
"I've waited too long for you to regain a sense of perspective in your life." She muttered cryptically before turning on her heel and stalking out of the room, shoulders shaking.
A/n: PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! :D