A/N:UPDATE. I don't know if this is going to make people happy, or not lol
If you have read my first two fics, 'Silence' and its sequel 'Don't you forget about me'
Then this is to let you know that the first Chapter/Prologue of the UNTITLED third installment is written and ready to go!
I'm just not posting it until this story, OR my other story, Awake and Alive is complete.
But, no later than the end of May. I'm really hoping I don't end up having three stories going at once lol!
I'm thinking after seeing the sequel to PITCH PERFECT, I'm going to have a lot of inspiration for the third installment, which is all planned out. I just need to write it. Sooo yeah :) ON WITH THE SHOW :) a thanks to every one who followed/fav/reviews and supports this story!
TRIGGER WARNING. MENTIONS OF SELF HARM. PHYSICAL ABUSE. SEXUAL ABUSE.
Stacie rode the elevator up to her apartment, looking down at her phone. Aubrey still had one more class, so she told Stacie to head home with out her, and she'd meet her there.
She walked the familiar steps from the elevator to her apartment door, not looking up as she typed out a response. She smiled as she slid her key into the lock opening the door. Once she was inside, she stayed inside the doorway for a moment, finishing end text before sending it, smiling and closing the door as she put her phone in her pocket and set her bag down. She was about to walk toward the kitchen, when her path was blocked.
She gasped and her hand came up to her chest as a small laugh escaped.
"Jesus Chlo, you scared me!" She said.
Chloe didn't say anything. Not yet, she just waited for Stacie to calm her racing heart.
She moved her hand, and realized Chloe had spoke, nor had she really changed her straight faced expression at all.
"Chloe? Something wrong?" She asked a little worriedly. "Is Beca okay?" She asked looking towards the living room, where she assumed Beca was.
"Beca is fine." She said and took a step forward, causing Stacie to take a step back.
"Chlo?" She asked again.
Chloe kept walking forward, until Stacies back hit the door. She looked at her nervously.
"Now, that day you gave me the friend speech, for Beca. You earned a lot of trust, and respect from me." She said.
Stacies face relaxed, realizing what this was.
"You didn't even know her, and you threatened to ruin me, if I ever hurt her."
Stacie nodded slowly. "I still have a lot of respect for you, for that. But, I know Aubrey, I have known her for a very long time, and I have seen her get her heart stomped on multiple times. She is a hard ass, but she has a big heart, that for some reason she can't help but give to people. Her being into girls is news to me, but it doesn't make this any less. She is like my sister, Stacie. She has never been with a girl and while I'm pretty sure whatever you two did last night was okay with her." She said, dropping her voice and stepping closer, so she was barley an inch from Stacies face.
"If I ever find out, you have done anything, and I mean anything, to hurt her, upset her, make her feel like anything but a fucking queen, I won't just ruin you Conrad," she growled.
"You will never so much as looked in her direction. That is, if you're still able to see when I'm done with you." She said.
Stacie looked down at the girl, who she had no idea could be so scary. But she was, Stacie was officially scared.
"I promise, Chlo...I won't hurt her." She said.
Chloe glared at her, keeping their eyes locked. She waited a moment, seeing that Stacie wanted to look away from her, but couldn't, before she stepped back and smiled.
"Good." She said, before promptly turning and disappearing around the corner.
Stacie sighed and let herself relax slightly. Still looking toward where Chloe headed.
She shook her head after a moment. "What the hell just happened?" She whispered to herself before walking toward the kitchen.
XXXXXX
Beca stood next to the stove, where stacie was sautéing vegetables. She had been kinda of quiet since she got home, and Beca was starting worry about her.
"Stace? You okay?" She asked.
She looked to the side and smiled, "Yeah, no I'm good." She said and picked up the skillet, putting it on the back burner.
Beca nodded, though she didn't believe her.
"Where's Aubrey?" She asked. She saw Stacies shoulders tense.
Chloe walked in, before she could answer. "Hey, Becs." She smiled hugging the smaller girl from behind.
"Hi," she smiled, placing her hands over Chloes, as they rested over her stomach.
"What's for dinner?" She asked.
Beca motioned to the vegetable. "Um," she started.
"Baked chicken with Bell peppers, garlic and mixed veggies." Stacie said softly as she pulled the chicken from the oven.
"Smells delicious." She smiled, placing a kiss on Becas cheek, before pulling away and grabbing plates from the cupboard.
Stacie still didn't say much, as Chloe and Beca set the table and she finished preparing dinner.
Just as she was setting it on the table, Aubrey walked in. She was smiling happily as she entered the kitchen, a bottle of red wine in her hands.
"Hello ladies." She said cheerfully.
Chloe smiled and turned to the cabinet that held the wine glasses. "Hello, chipper." She laughed.
Beca smiled at them, then looked over to Stacie, who hadn't acknowledged Aubrey walking in. She felt her brow furrow in confusion as Aubrey and Chloe walked over to the table and took their seats.
"This looks amazing!" She smiled as Stacie chose the seat at the head of the table, instead of beside the blonde.
Chloe didn't see this, as she had taken the wine bottle and was busy opening it. Beca however, saw Aubreys eyes follow Stacies movement, her lips forming a slight frown as she chose to sit in a different seat.
She looked to Stacie too see she was beginning to serve herself, not speaking. She felt something settle in her stomach, looking back at Aubrey who only kept her frown for a moment, before shaking her head slightly and looking back at Chloe as popped the cork on the bottle.
"So, what are we celebrating?" Chloe asked, pouring Aubreys glass first.
She smiled again as Chloe poured a glass for herself and then another for Stacie before turning to Beca.
"Would you like some?" She asked.
She shook her head. "No thank you." She smiled softly motioning to her water glass.
Chloe nodded in understanding.
"Well, Bree?" Chloe asked.
The blonde smiled. "We are celebrating, for Beca." She smiled at the younger girl, who looked at her in confusion.
"What?" She asked.
Chloe smiled at her best friend. "We are celebrating one week. One week today, that you have not only begun to eat regular portions of food. You have begun to smile, laugh, hold stable conversations with us. And one week, free of self harm." She smiled proudly raising her wine glass.
Chloe did too, as did Stacie, finally a smile appearing on her lips.
Beca looked down, it had been a week, and she hadn't even noticed. She had come a long way in just seven days. And someone noticed. She looked up.
"To Beca." Chloe smiled. "You are so strong my love. And I know, you will continue to get stronger, everyday."
"To Beca." Stacie and Aubrey repeated. Beca smiled and felt her vision get blurry with tears.
"Thank you." She smiled. Aubrey set her glass down.
"You are doing so well, Becs. We are all so proud of you." She said.
Chloe leaned over kissing her lips softly.
"And, I spoke with your professors today. Luckily, throughout my time at this school, I've had them all, and was of course their best student." She playfully flipped her hair back and they all chuckled.
"Your past assignments as well as any future assignments, until you go back to class, will be emailed to you." She smiled.
Beca smiled. "Oh my god, thank you Bree!" She said. "Seriously, that means a lot." She said.
Aubrey nodded, "Of course, I'm just happy you actually value your education." She said. "It's not useless." She said. "As some students here think."
Beca smiled at her. Truly touched that Aubrey had done all of this. Remembered it had been a week. Noticed her progress, helped her to keep up on her studies. It reminded her a lot of someone, someone she really missed.
"Let's eat, before all this amazing food gets cold." She said, and they nodded in agreement, picking up their forks and dug in.
Stacie glanced up at Aubrey, then looked back down, and continued with her dinner.
Aubrey, though she was still happy, when it came to Beca. Felt a pain in her stomach. The night before had been amazing with Stacie. They didn't go all the way, but they got pretty far. Then, they fell asleep, she was curled in Stacies arms, that morning had been great, they went to class, Stacie had covered her hickies, and even kissed her goodbye. She had been on cloud nine all day.
Then she arrived home and she wouldn't even look at her. She hadn't spoken too her, nothing. She pushed back the hurt she was feeling and ate in silence, as did everyone else at the table. This wasn't new, she should have been prepared for it. It wasn't the first time something like this happened. She decided that she wouldn't let it go any further. This was enough, she knew better. She was worth more than how she was being treated. If Stacie didn't wish to continue to relationship, then that was fine.
She glanced up once more, and caught Stacies eyes on her, before she looked back down, avoiding Aubreys confused green orbs.
Damn it. Ten second ago, she had made a decision. Then she saw those beautiful eyes, looking at her, as if she wanted to say something. Then looked away. What was happening?
XXXXXX
Beca shivered as Chloes fingers gently skimmed across her bare back. "I'm so proud of you, Becs." Chloe said, placing a kiss to the tattoo on her right shoulder.
She smiled as Chloe circled back around. "Thanks." She said in a small voice.
She pulled her shirt on, feeling slightly proud of herself as well. Chloe did her nightly check, and found nothing, but practically healed cuts, and old scars.
They climbed into bed and Chloe turned out the lights as they got settled.
They kissed for moment, not letting it go as far as the night before, before settling in.
Becas back was pressed flush against Chloes front. The redhead holing onto her, her warm breath tickling Becas neck.
Becas eyes drifted closed, she was defiantly getting used to being held at night. Being kissed goodnight, feeling the warmth of Chloes body against her own.
"Becs?" Came a soft voice.
"Hm?" She asked tiredly.
Chloe hesitated, letting her fingers tickle Becas wrist where she was holding her.
"Uh, last night, when you thanked me..." She said guardedly.
Becas eyes opened and she felt herself stiffen slightly. She felt two soft lips on her shoulder and she instantly relaxed. Letting out a sigh she let herself relax, preparing for what was about to spill from her mouth.
"No one ever... Asked permission before." She said. "Like you did. You asked if you could touch me,"
Chloe closed her eyes, fearing this would be the answer. She held her a little closer.
"I...I thought I was your first relationship?" She asked softly.
Beca nodded. "You are. But, you're not the first too...you know." She said shyly.
"You don't have to tell me, Becs. If you're not ready."
Beca sighed once more. "If I wait until I'm ready, to tell you these things...it might be too late." She said.
Chloe frowned at that. "What do you mean?"
Beca scooted back, pressing into her further, though they were already unrecognizable as two bodies.
"I was 14, in a foster home. I had two foster brothers, they were related to each other, but we're also in the system. They were moved around together. Joel was 16, he hated me. I don't know why for sure, he just... He never liked me." She said. Chloe listened carefully. "Then there was Gavin. His brother, he was almost 18." She said. "He never paid much attention to me. Until my freshman year. I was 14... I dint know any better." She trailed off, her voice becoming distant as she was flooded with memories. Memories she had hoped to forget.
TRIGGER WARNING. PHYSICAL AND SEXUAL ABUSE. INVOLVING A MINOR. DRUG USE.
*** Beca sat in the living room of the foster home. Her foster mother Rachel had gone out for the day, claiming they were all driving her crazy. Eden, her foster sister, was at a study group at the library across town.
She had a history book in her lap, a notebook to the side where every so often she would take a few notes on what she read.
She felt a dip in the couch and looked up too see Gavin sitting next to her.
"Hey." He smiled.
She smiled back before returning her eyes to her book. "So, I know we don't talk a lot. But, I wanted to let you know, that I don't have anything against you, like my brother does, but he's an idiot. You're a cool girl." He smiled.
She looked up, slightly confused, but nodded anyway. "Thanks. You're cool too." She said, once again looking back at her book.
He smiled before sitting back and pulling someone from his pocket. She looked to the side as he stuck it in his mouth and lit it.
The smell of weed instantly filled her nose. She scrunched it, then shook her head and tried to ignore him.
"Want some?" He asked holding the joint out to her. She shook her head.
"Uh, no, thank you." She said, shifting away from it.
"Come on, it'll help you focus on your homework. Even princess Eden smokes pot. You'll like it." He prompted.
She looked at it, weighing her options. She knew Eden did it too, and it never hurt her. She hadn't heard anything bad about it, it made Rachel relax when she smoked it.
She looked up at him before closing her book and setting it aside. He smiled and handed it too her.
She took a breath, before taking it between her fingers. He smiled nodding his head as she brought it up to her lips and inhaled it deeply as she had seen him do.
She felt her lungs fill with the smoke and it burned, she instantly began choking and he scooted over, his leg pressing against hers as he gently took the joint back from her.
"You okay?" He asked patting her back gently as her coughing calmed down.
She nodded, her yes watering.
"Here, this way is better, especially for newbies." He said and she felt his hand slide down, and rest on her lower back.
She tensed for a moment, as he brought the joint up to his lips and inhaled it deeply. Then pulled it back.
"Open your mouth." He said, his voice strained as he held the smoke in his lungs.
She looked at him in confusion. "Open!" He ordered and she looked at him for a moment longer before doing as she was told.
She wasn't expecting him however to lean in, placing his mouth over hers. His hand coming up and holding her head in place as he exhaled into her mouth.
She inhaled sharply, not knowing what he was doing and felt the smoke enter her lungs. He pulled back and she coughed just slightly, feeling a little lightheaded.
"Was that better?" He asked moving his hand away from her.
She nodded.
"It's called shot gunning. Now, that you know what too do, let's try again. When I blow the smoke in, you inhale, okay?"
"Okay." She nodded, already feeling the effects of the first two times hitting her.
He smiled and scooted closer, bringing it up to his lips and she watched the little red embers crackle as the joint got smaller. Then, his hand was in her neck and his mouth was on hers again. She inhaled what he blew into her mouth and when he pulled back he covered her mouth.
"Hold it in your lungs for a little bit." He said softly. She did and after about three seconds, he moved his hand and she exhaled, feeling the effects taking over.
"You know Beca. You are pretty cool. My brothers just an ass hole." He laughed.
She giggled. "He's always hated me, I don't know why," she said.
He shrugged, "He's missing out, you're alright." He said taking another hit.
She smiled and felt something on her thigh. She looked down, to see it was his hand.
"You're also," he said blowing out a stream of smoke. "Really pretty." He said, moving his hand up further. She knew she should probably move away, but before she could he was pulling the joint away from his lips again, and leaning toward her.
Through the cloud of smoke that already surrounded them she smiled, opening her mouth and felt his lips press against hers as she inhaled the second hand smoke.
This time however he didn't pull away. He kissed her.
Her eyes opened, and she felt his hand on the back of her neck, holding her. She looked at him trying to assess the situation, and his lips were on hers again. This time, no smoke in his mouth. He was just kissing her. It felt alright, nothing great, not that she had anything to compare it too, this was her first kiss.
She kissed back, to the best of her ability, not realizing that this was extremely inappropriate. Not thinking about what this actually was.
Then she was being pushed down, her back meeting the couch and he nudged her legs open, settling himself between them, keeping his lips on hers.
He was heavy, and weighed down on her, making it hard to breath, paired with the lack of oxygen from kissing and being high, she felt like she might pass out.
She felt something hard between her legs, and wanted to ask what he was doing, when he grabbed her behind the knee hooking her leg up around his hip.
Then, she felt his hand on her, roughly pushing, pulling, massaging her breast.
It hurt, and she didn't like him touching her, really. She was feeling tired, as he continued to kiss her. They had become needy, sloppy.
What was he doing? His hips had begun to thrust against her. The rough material of their jeans causing a weird friction between her legs.
She weakly reached up grabbing his wrist and tried to pull his hand off of her. At the same time moving her head to the side, so his lips landed in her cheek.
"Gavin, that hurts." She whimpered as he pushed her hand away and attached s lips to her neck.
"Its okay, just try to enjoy it. You're so pretty Beca." He said as he ground down against her harder. He grunted every once in a while and she tried to wiggle out from under him but he stopped her.
"Stop trying to get away Beca, I know you like it." He said.
She stopped. It felt funny, and his hand was rough on her chest, she was a lot smaller than he was, so him being on top of her like he was, hurt. But, she did sort of like the way it felt. And he said she was pretty. No one besides Eden ever said that too her.
Then he started to move harder, and it really started to hurt. "Ow, Gavin, that hurts, please stop?" She asked and tried to sit up.
He grabbed her shoulders, slamming her back down. "I'm not finished." He growled. "I got you high, you owe me this." He said and shoved his hand up her shirt. She looked at him with wide eyes, his sudden harshness scaring her, and felt the rough calluses of his hand scratch against her, as he pushed under her bra, roughly caressing her.
She stopped struggling. He'd stop when he was finished. She closed her eyes. It didn't feel good anymore, his teeth on her neck. His hand in her shirt. Their jeans moving against each other. He panted a few times before his body convulsed and he fell on her.
She couldn't breath very well, as he laid ontop of her, on the couch. After a moment, he sat back up removing his hand. He kneeled between her legs and fixed her shirt pulling it back down. She didn't speak, or look at him, her eyes stayed hooded, locked on the book case across the room.
"You're amazing, Beca." He smiled, running his hands over her jean clad thighs, smiling down at her. She looked up at him as he stood up and grabbed her hands, pulling her into a sitting position.
Her eyes landed on his crotch, as it was eye level now. There was a wet spot on his jeans. She blushed, and looked away.
"No worries, that wasn't sex. Just something to hold us both over." He smiled kindly at her, cupping her jaw and lifting her face to meet his eyes.
"You made me feel really good, Beca. Thank you." He said, his voice was so soft, and kind.
She didn't know what else to do, other than nod.
"You're welcome." She whispered. Not able to project her voice.
"Here." He said pulling his wallet from his pocket.
"I know Rachel never gives you any of the money she gets for taking care of you. If that's what you call it." He handed her two twenty dollar bills. "So, I'll take care of you." He said.
She slowly took the money, and looked at it as he kissed the top of her head and walked out.
She had never had so much money at one time. She looked toward the door, before tucking it into her pocket and picking up her book. Her head was still fuzzy, and she felt kind of...what was the word? Dirty. She felt dirty. She was sore down there, from his moving on her.
He was nice though, he called her pretty, and said she made him feel good. That was good right? She helped him. And he gave her money. That was nice. He said he'd take care of her.
She opened her book, and tried to focus on the words, but she couldn't. She felt funny still, almost nauseous. She hurt, where he had grabbed her, his hands were so rough.
Maybe this won't happen again. She thought. He just needed to do it this one time.
Besides, they were both high.
Little did she know, this was just the beginning. The start of nearly 3 years of him taking care of her. Compliments, and sweet talk. Weed, money. He made her feel special, like she was worth something. She worked hard in school, and was the top of her class. She saved the money she got from Gavin, and eventually used it to buy her mixing equipment. She realized very soon, how wrong it was, what Gavin had been doing. What she let him do. But, even when he kissed her softly. Called her beautiful, and took care of her. When she fought it, it never ended well, his soft voice became hard, his hands rough. So she learned to take it. He said it wasn't sex. And it stayed that way, he would do this, their clothes, on, or minimal at least, he would make her touch him, and he would touch her.
Until she was sixteen. It wasn't sex until she was sixteen. He said she would have the sweetest sixteenth birthday a girl could ask for. It was sweet for him. He took her virginity, and she cried, when he left. Three hundred dollars left on her dresser in a birthday card as she lay wrapped in a sheet, pain radiating through her. Joel and Gavin were of age, kicked out of the system. But they still came around. Gavin, still "took care" of her. She was left alone with Rachel. Eden left for college completely unaware of what was happening, usually in the next room. She didn't want Gavin's care anymore. Didn't need his affection. She began wearing dark clothes, dark make up. She found a place that did underage tattoos, for a little extra money. She got her ears pierced. She tried to make herself unattractive to Gavin. It worked,at first, then he realized what her intentions were. It got really bad, really fast. But that's a story for another day.***
Chloes tears fell freely, and Beca felt them hit her skin. She told Chloe one of her darkest secrets. Something that she found worse, that anything her father ever did. And Chloe cried. She cried hard, for Beca. The smaller girl turned, pulling the weeping girl into her. And she held her tight. Eventually she cried so much, she passed out. Breath becoming steady against Becas neck.
Beca didn't cry that night. She had shed as many tears as she could over this subject. She had no more left in her.
She hated it, but she felt a ton of weight lift off of her shoulders. Chloe knew now, she she had thanked her. She knew this secret, that Beca had carried around for the last 4 years.
She stayed. Beca kissed the top of Chloes head, and held her close.
"Thank you Chloe," she whispered. Before drifting off into a peaceful sleep.
A/N: the door is opening. :( More on Staubrey next chapter. As well as Chloe dealing with what she learned of Becas past. And some thing more.
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