"Me first!" Jensen muttered under her breath as sweat dripped off the bridge of her nose. "I swear to God, Jax." She didn't specify what she was swearing about as her panted breath broke. Her mouth hung open as she gasped for breath, centimetres away from his. Her eyes shut for a second before she forced them open and forced herself to look at the man beneath her. "I swear to God, Jax, me first." Her hips forced themselves down again turning only slightly to get a better angle. It was almost perfect; their union was almost perfect. She only needed a little more. She needed to be first and not just in this, she needed to come first in the relationship for a little while, even if it was just for an evening, just for an hour, she needed to feel important, needed.

"You first babe, always." He muttered back but she knew he didn't get it. He thought it was just this moment, just this round of coupling and then things would go back to the way they were before. Back to when she bent over backwards trying to keep everything together for him without him noticing.

"No!" Jensen ripped her head away from his. "Me first!" Her hands snaked their way up and forced his back further into the soft mattress. "You're out there and you risk your life and I'm the first thing you think about! You fight tooth and nail to get back to me. These next couple of days, I'm the most important. Every other day I'm okay with coming second, hell I'm okay with coming last, but not now, not when I could lose you."

"You aren't going to lose me" He tried to pull his head up to meet hers but she pulled back.

"Promise?" Jensen questioned with a cocked eyebrow. "Because I'm the woman that cares for your child, I'm the woman that loves you. And I do, I love you so much. You're my bad habit, Jax."

"I promise. I love you."

"Oh yeah?" Her hips thrust into his slightly before she craned her head down to nibble at the crook of his neck.

"Yeah." His breath was rough as she worked around him.

"Good." She panted as her speed increased. "Now, me FIRST!"

At some point her rhythm was lost all together and she became focused only on her end goal, nothing else mattered, the man underneath her could have been anyone, Jax was second for the first time in their relationship. Jax wasn't setting the lead this time, this was all about Jensen, and for a minute that was enough to get her to the precipice. Her selfishness was enough to make her body tighten like a coil, every inch of her sensitive to even the softest of touches, but then it wasn't. She needed it to be Jax, every time she rocked herself forward it needed to be him, he was giving her everything she needed, he was giving her more than she needed. She was his.

And that was the thought that pushed her over the edge, the thought that let her whole body relax. She nearly collapsed into his chest as she crested her high. In that fleeting moment she thought maybe she could forget, maybe she could let go of all the pain and the horror that would come and focus on just this last thirty seconds of sheer bliss. But then she opened her eyes again and it all came crashing down on her, the reality that had been the last three hours of her life, the reality of the days to come, all of it smacked her in the face and the worry that she thought Jax had purged from her system was back full force.

Wordlessly Jensen rolled off of Jax and walked to the small bathroom. Going about her business gave her a second to think and it terrified her. She wasn't prepared to deal with some of the shit she had seen, the shit she had heard.

Sitting next to Uncle Jimmy had been an error. His hand had woven around hers like a vice the minute she had sat down, the smile on his face wasn't for her benefit it was for Chibs and judging by his sallow pallor he had taken the bate. Jensen became trapped as a story played out in front of her, the man she had called family was a monster. He had ripped apart a family and inserted himself in the middle after he had tried to kill Chibs.

Jensen's horrified stare flicked between the two men as their conversation turned to threats and intimidation. Finally she had to say something, her anger and sadness, even a touch of jealousy, leaked from her carefully arranged mask.

"Jimmy, I thought you had a wife and a baby at home? Why would you take someone else's?" She asked, her voice close to shaking but she miraculously held it steady. "That was why you told me you couldn't stay after the funeral, you told me you had a baby girl at home and that her mother couldn't do it on her own. I got on my knees and pleaded for you to take me with you, I promised I would be a sister to your little girl if you would only take me with you. But you didn't, you left in the middle of the night for a family that WASN'T YOURS!" Tears leaked though and her voice lost any dignity it ever had. "You already had a family here. Why? Why would you do this? And then -" Her hand ran across her own face, mimicking the line etched into Chibs' face.

Jimmy looked at her like he would kill her for a second but said nothing. If this had been fourteen years ago Jensen probably would have just shut up, realised that her Uncle always had a reason for his actions, that he was always trying to help the cause and that would help her family. But he had been gone sleeping with another mans wife, playing father with someone he had deliberately chosen over Jensen and that hurt. She wasn't the good little girl that had gotten left behind anymore and she wasn't about to shut up because he didn't like the truth.

"You're a monster." She declared in horror. "I hope her pussy was worth it!" She ground out before she ripped her hand out of his grasp and stood up.

Jensen was able to take half a step back before Jimmy was out of his seat, his hands wrapped around her shoulders in a grip she couldn't escape.

"This isn't your place, girl." He growled before backhanding her across the face causing her to stumble. Jensen lost her footing as he towered over her. "You were raised with better manners, I expect you to show them."

"How would you know? You abandoned us! Was I not good enough? Is that what it was, you had to find someone else's daughter because I wasn't good enough?" She asked and although she wanted to appear strong, like she didn't need him in her life, she felt herself listing into him. She needed the familiarity she thought she had lost.

"I could have been your daughter. Don't you think I would have left my lump of a dad for a life with you?"

"Jenny, I know you would have, everything I do is for our family, for the cause, the one your grandfather fought for." His comforting words turned to a lecture and Jensen pulled herself away from him, her tears ended and again she was angry.

"Don't lecture me about the cause. I know all about it. Righteous soldiers fighting for freedom, fighting under the protection of God, but let's be honest. Your appropriation of another man's wife and daughter had nothing to do with the cause. If it had to do with anything, it was for your own gain. I love you, I am loyal to you and the cause, and I accept your decisions. You are family and because of that I trust you."

"Look at you, all grown up, Jenny." He seemed to be patronizing in a way Jensen didn't remember.

"Yes, all grown up. I learned to take care of myself. I raised a family all by myself. I have to go. I have to go take care of my family." Jensen moved like as if she was stiff as a board. Her back arched in an uncomfortable position that she never thought to change. She turned her back to him and walked out of the bar, past her father snoring on the bar, past the armed security, she waited for him to stop her but he didn't. He let her walk out and think about the man she had made family.

She climbed into her car and sat there for a moment, not really looking at anything, just thinking, but not even really thinking, she was just sitting in complete and utter shock. Part of her was angry but most of her was a feeling she couldn't describe, a mix between joyous and confused, anxious and relieved. Without realising it she watched Jimmy and his gang pack up into large black sedans and drive away. It took another five minutes for the disabled biker to exit and that Jensen realised. She might have said her bit to Jimmy but Chibs needed an earful. With the grace of an elephant she pulled herself out of the car and leaned against the hood.

"Filip Telford!" She shouted gaining his attention. "Were you ever going to tell me that you are married to Fiona Larkin?" He rushed over to Jensen and she could see the physical pain it was causing him to be out of bed with his head injury.

"Stop yelling."

"You know I've had just about enough of people telling me what to do." Jensen spat. "You married IRA royalty and you didn't expect it to bite you in the ass?"

"How do you know who she is?"

"Anyone with half a brain cell and an ear in the IRA knows the Larkin family, if only by reputation." Jensen rolled her eyes. "When I was younger Jimmy was mad for her and her family's notoriety. Seeing him here, well, it didn't take a genius to figure out why he chose her. I put it together about five minutes into my 'why didn't you pick me' speech."

"Yeah that was a real tear jerker." The sarcasm dripping off Chibs' words was almost too much.

"Trust me it was the real highlight of my night too." Jensen matched his tone and the stared at each other. "What the fuck are you doing out of bed?"

"Club obligations come first."

"You expect me to believe that was for the club? I'm a smart lady, I can tell when a man is trying to get his wife back, I've seen my father try it a couple times, and I can tell you with a man like Jimmy it's never going to work."

"It's not just my wife, it's my family"

Her thoughts were interrupted as Jax banged on the bathroom door.

"Jen! You all right? I gotta take a piss." He called through the thin plywood door that shook a little each time his hand made contact with it.

"Yeah, yeah," Jensen opened the door as she rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands, her palms still damp from their extended time in the sink.

"You're okay?" He check in again as he looked at her.

"Yeah, just a long day." She placed a kiss on his cheek before she realised that he was all dressed again. "You're leaving aren't you?"

"I have to go out for a few hours but I'll be back."

"Come back to me, to your family." She whispered without looking at him as she moved to find her clothes.

Jax was in the bathroom and Jensen had just thrown on her jeans when she heard the yelling and a few tell tail curses she knew only Liam used.

"Fuck." She whispered as she darted out of the room just as Jax poked his head around the door.

Jensen had made it down the hall just in time to see Liam go barrelling through the bar. Her brother lay there for a minute breathing heavily as he looked at the man that had tossed him.

"What the hell is going on?" Jensen demanded, her glare flicking between Liam and Clay.

"He attacked me!" Liam accused after a minute he sprung to his feet still breathing hard.

"You knew and you said nothing!" Clay fired back.

"Knew about what?" Liam lunged forward but Jensen stopped his actions. "I have helped you out from day one, no questions, and this is my thank you?"

"You knew about Gemma!"

"Like hell I knew anything!" Liam growled. "She came to me for a car crash injury! She had a slice over her eye she was too jumpy to let me touch; I had to get Cate to sew her up! I know nothing about her lady bits! I'm not an actual doctor!"

"Seriously? You want to keep your balls attached I would suggest you stop referring to her lady bits!" Jensen whispered at her brother as she held him back.

"He threw me into a bar."

"Yeah, there are worse places to land!" Jensen argued back. "Just go relax. I'll take care of it."

"Jen, you're not even wearing a shirt."

She blinked blankly before she had the words to scold him with.

"I don't have shirt on because I ran out here to save your ass before I could put one on! Look at who you are in a fight with! If you think he can't kick your ass ten ways to Sunday then buddy I have news for you! So let me take care of this and go relax!" she ground out the last word with an anger she didn't realise she felt towards him.

Liam let out a huff as he straightened his collar and walked away. Jensen turned back to the older man, her arms folded over her chest.

"Look, Liam's a moron. If Gemma never explicitly told him, he didn't have a clue. I did though, I knew for months and I didn't tell you so if you are going to be throwing anyone through bars it's got to be me."

"I can appreciate what you are trying to do, protect your family and all -"

"Can you?" Jensen snorted a laugh. "Really? Okay, say I believe you, say I understand your understanding. The fact remains I'm the only one that knew so I'm the only one that you get to knock around. Do not touch my brother." Jensen glared at him for a second longer before she walked away towards Liam.

"Thanks sis-" Jensen cut off his thankfulness with a smack to the back of the skull.

"Idiot. Someone's giving you a beating you take it and you fight back later. No one's got time for your smart ass."

"What are you talking about? He was going to kill me!" Liam protested as he followed her back into the room she shared with Jax in search of a shirt.

"No, he wasn't!"

"What else do you call him throwing me through a bar?" Liam demanded.

"Cate stole my only clean shirt." Jensen muttered as she let him complain.

"Seriously Jen!"

"Liam, I don't know how many more times I can tell you he wasn't trying to kill you. If you really want to see someone try and kill you stand here and bitch at me for another five seconds!"

Liam looked like he debated it for a second before he gave up.

"Fine, well I'm back. The ambulance is shot all to hell. Mexicans damn near killed us driving us out of Oakland, but we made it out."

"Great." Jensen muttered. "Dad's crashed out outside. I didn't want to piss himself in the clubhouse. Which brings me to the last piece of news, I saw Uncle Jimmy today."

"What?"

"Yeah I went to go pick up dad and he was there."

"He was just there?"

"Well, he had business with Chibs." Jensen whispered their conversation despite them being alone. "Turns out, Chibs is married to Fiona Larkin."

"Larkin? Not that crazy old lady that went around smacking people with a wooden spoon? She's still alive?"

"Idiot! Her daughter." Jensen snorted at her brother's memory. She assumed he had gotten a few good whacks with that spoon, she knew she had.

"Didn't know she had a daughter."

"Well, obviously she did. I don't know I never met her so maybe she never came to visit. But the point is Chibs married her, Jimmy wanted her. That's how he got those scars, why he came here. It's just like I said, there's a lot of bad blood and we are going to be caught in the middle of it because they're both family."

"Well, one of them is more family than the other." Liam shrugged and Jensen wanted to smack his head off.

"You're suggesting we turn our back on Chibs?" Jensen asked at the same time Liam said Jimmy.

"What the fuck, Jen! Jimmy skipped out on us fourteen years ago; he doesn't give a shit about us! He can't protect us from the other side of the globe and he's already proven to us that he won't take us with him. He's good with the gifts when he's around but he's never around! Chibs on the other hand has filled the role of father pretty damn well. And I know you can't see it because you don't need a Dad but Leo does, Cate and Russell do! They don't know Jimmy!"

Jensen took a step back form her brother, unwilling to admit that she was ashamed for even thinking he would think of turning their back on Chibs. She was more ashamed that somewhere in the back of her mind she had thought it was a good idea to choose Jimmy over Chibs.

"I'm sorry." Jensen whispered as she collapsed onto the bed. "It's just been a really long day and I found Cate screwing around with Juice and then I had to deal with Dad, and I didn't have enough money, and then Jimmy was pushing me around and I just haven't gotten a single break. And with Jax." She sighed as she sagged against her brother, who joined her after a moment.

Liam was silent as she cried against him. He sat like that for maybe five minutes before he broke his supportive role.

"Jen, what do you mean you found Cate screwing Juice?"

"Oh, just leave it. We all knew they were a thing."

"There's a big difference between hanging out together and fucking!"

"Yeah I know. And we talked about it and Cate said she tried -" The rest of her sentence was lost as Liam hopped off the bed and went barrelling down the hall.

"I'm going to kill him!" Liam hollered as he stormed over to Juice's room. "Open up you son of a bitch!" He didn't wait for a response before he barged in. "Oh Jesus Christ!"

Jensen followed after him and peaked in. The scene made her sigh and rub her eyes in defeat. It was like Cate wanted to get caught. Personally, Jensen had a line she didn't cross when it came to harming injured people. Juice had pushed her limits earlier in the hospital but she managed to control herself. Right now, seeing Cate sprawled across Juice, her penchant for short skirts really worked against her. While Cate and Juice were obviously asleep before Liam had barged in the television was on playing some old sitcom rerun. Cate's leg slung low across Juice's lap to avoid his stab wound revealing a pair of barely there underwear. Her shirt, which technically belonged to Jensen and even more technically belonged to Jax, had the word SAMCRO stamped over her chest, but it was barely recognisable by the fact that it had ridden up almost impossibly high and Juice's hand grasped at her bra.

"Do you have any idea how young she is?" Liam yelled as he pulled Cate off the bed before moving over to Juice and yanking him up to a sitting position by his neck. "She's fourteen years old!" He aimed a punch at Juice's face and landed hard.

Cate was screaming but Liam wasn't listening.

"We didn't! I swear, Jensen tell him! We didn't!" Cate was hysterical.

"Shut up." Jensen whispered. "He won't kill him, just let him get it out of his system."

"But, but we didn't!" Cate repeated slightly more quietly although she had already gained the attention of most of the other people in the clubhouse.

Jensen shot her with a look just to let her know that she didn't buy it this time. Maybe back in the hospital she needed to believe it but right now it was either attention or idiocy driving her back to him.

"I swear."

"On what?"

"The Bible if you'd need me to! Please-" She flinched as Liam landed another blow on the cripple. "Just make him stop." Jensen didn't move and Cate turned defensive. "We all know Russell fucks everything he can get his hands on! I have a friend that I haven't slept with and this happens? Please he was just listening to me, I just needed a friend!"

"Damnit. Fine." Jensen moved forward. "Liam, stop." She moved close enough to pull his hand back from aiming another punch. "Come on we don't make this big a deal when Russell comes home with a girl."

"It's different and you know it."

"What, because she's a girl?"

"Yes!"

"Well being a sexist pig isn't enough for you to beat this guy up."

"Jen."

"Liam."

They stared at each other for a minute before Liam gave up.

"You stay the fuck away from my sister, you hear me?" He aimed at Juice before he stormed away.

"Jen, we gotta talk." Cate mumbled finally.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about this." Jensen spoke to Juice as she helped him back into bed and adjusted his pillows.

"Jensen, I'm really not crossing that line. I promise." Juice looked like he needed her to believe him.

"Yeah, okay. Look, I'm not going to condone this thing. You're too old for her and she's too young for you, but if it's going to happen anyways you better take fucking care of her."

"You got it, yes! I mean were just friends, I'll take care of her." Juice nodded his head vigorously. "And you guys really should talk." He nodded over to Cate, who was anxiously biting on her nails.

"I'll be back with some ice." Jensen ignored his comments and tried to push her sisters actions out of her head.

She walked down the hall and pretended she didn't see Cate tailing her.

"What is it, Cate? Spit it out, don't give yourself an aneurysm."

"Jen, stop walking for a minute." Cate demanded her undivided attention, which she rarely gave to anyone.

"What is it?"

"You know how I've been going to school?"

"The school I enrolled you in? Yes, I know you've been going to school."

"Well you see the thing is I might not have been going just as much as you think I've been going."

Jensen blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well you know that job that I got?"

"The one you had to quit because we realised they sent family to jail?"

"Yeah, that one. See, I might not have quit as much as I said I did."

"I wasn't aware there were levels of quitting."

"Right, so I didn't and I was working a lot and I skipped like one or two classes and now it looks like I'm failing a couple courses and they aren't going to let me move on with the rest of my class." Cate rushed to finish her sentence so it became a jumbled mess at the end but the point was clear.

"You're failing out of tenth grade?"

"Yes."

"Because you were working at a smoke shop I told you to quit?"

"Yes."

"So what are you going to do about it?"

"What?"

"Well you're not going to not graduate, so what are you going to do about it?"

"I haven't really thought about it." Cate looked like this wasn't the reaction she was expecting. She had envisioned Jensen yelling and throwing things and pitching a fit, she wasn't expecting calm, cool and collected.

"Okay, so think about it." Jensen waited, staring at her until she came up with an answer.

"Well I probably wasn't going to need a high school diploma anyways." Cate tried to reason but Jensen was already shaking her head before she could finish the sentence.

"You need to finish high school."

"I could always take classes online or something." Cate scrunched her face hoping that was the right answer.

"Fine. You find the program, you set it up, and you get your diploma."

"Really, Jen? You're cool with this?"

"It doesn't bother me." Jensen started walking away and Cate followed after her. "So you better start dating to marry, right? It's a good thing you have an eye for the older ones because they are more likely going to support you"

"What?"

"What?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that you aren't going to be anything more than I am and you aren't half as hard working as I am. You will never be able to do what I do for this family so you better find someone with either deep pockets or pretty damn good connections"

"But Jen, I'm never going to have to do this alone? Right?" Cate seemed so bewildered by the whole thing. "We're family right?"

"Jesus, Cate, is that what you want? You want to forever share a bunk bed with your brother? Should I keep you as a child forever? Is that the life you want? Because if it is then fine, do whatever you want." Jensen looked at her for a moment but for the most part focused on trying to make a pot of coffee.

"Well I was never going to go to college." Cate tried to justify her predicament.

"You weren't?"

"We can't afford it."

"You let me worry about what we can and can't afford. Yes! You and your brother and Leo and the babies and Abel are all fucking going to college!"

"Jesus!" Cate muttered under her breath

"Catherine O'Halloran! Take this seriously!" Jensen broke at last. She had played it pretty cool but this whole thing just pissed her off to know end.

"I don't know what I'm going to do, Jen." Cate whimpered a little.

"I'll figure something out." She was so done with everyone and their problems. She never got a break, her whole life just crumbled all at once and she was trying to keep it together but there were so many cracks that things just slipped through, things like Cate failing out of school without anyone noticing. "Go take this to your father, help him sober up." She handed her a cup of black coffee with six little sugar packets in it.

"I'm sorry, Jen."

"I know you are, it's okay, I'll fix this. I'll fix everything."