Disclaimer: I own none of JKR's characters.
Author's Note: Sorry for the break! Sorry this chapter is so long, I got carried away lol. Happy reading!
Fred Weasley- Year of the Seers.
Dream A Little Dream of Me
"Fred, table five needs their food," some lady said as I looked around. Why did this feel so weird. Why did I feel so unbalanced here? Like I was missing something? But yet, at the same time this felt like something I had dreamt about once. I was at a wedding. Which was unusual first off because I hated weddings. I wasn't going to have a wedding. Tammie would be okay with that. Then again, she was Malfoy, it wasn't like she couldn't afford it, and if the Malfoys ever became okay with me being with her they'd throw her the biggest wedding possible. But that was a dream. And I was the groom in that dream. Tammie hadn't shown up and instead Charity came. We got married anyway; looking back it was more like a nightmare.
Now I was at a wedding again, that much was clear, I didn't know how I knew, but I just did. Like the facts were already in my mind, the prior information already played out, like it already happened. But it couldn't have happened. I had only just got here. Right? "Fred, did you hear me?" the fat lady said again as she tapped my shoulder.
"Food, right?" I asked.
"Yes, food, table five, you've been doing good so far, don't screw it up, you know the Malfoys will get mad," she said and then disappeared behind the kitchen doors. So I was at a Malfoy wedding. Melinda maybe? No, Melinda was a Malfoy. Why would she want to marry her cousin, Draco? I asked myself. Again, the history somehow already engrained in my mind.
Quickly, I grabbed one of the trays and started for the door, trying to remember as much as I could, but the more I thought about it, the more real it seemed to be. I had been here, I had been a Weasley who dated Tammie Allen, and then we broke up. Her fifth year at Hogwarts, my final year. I paused by another door. I was in love with her, and she wasn't in love with me. I couldn't bring myself to get back with her and instead she went for Melinda's cousin, Draco. They were happy and I was miserable. The only reason I knew anything about the wedding was because Tammie and Melinda remained friends and Melinda ended up marrying George.
But, hadn't I just gotten here? a voice asked in the back of my mind but it sounded so distant, so unsure and small that it was easy to ignore. Plus, now that I was outside in the bright sun I had plenty to distract me. I looked around, table five. I scanned until I caught a group of people. I could make out the bride-to-be anywhere. I knew that body, I knew that face, that hair, her expressions. It still bothered me, to see her, knowing everything we had and then suddenly knowing it was gone. Seeing her move on. Seeing her in a wedding dress where I wouldn't be the groom. I forced myself to look at the rest of the group. Two redheads. I wondered if it was Tammie or Melinda who convinced Draco to let Ron and George come. Granted it would make sense if George was Melinda's plus one, they were married. I recognized Hermione's bushy hair too, I had to admit my eyes would've passed over her considering she was wearing such an elegant dress. Harry looked good too in his sharp robes. It was nice Tammie hadn't dated him. Then again, with her whole thing with Lee Jordan it seemed like nothing else could beat that.
I watched them gather themselves together as they all sat down, Tammie picking up a butterbeer first as everyone else followed suit. I gritted my teeth. Why the hell did I still miss her? This was obviously where she belonged. She was always too good for me, out of my league. George warned me, I should've listened. I wouldn't have been hurt so bad otherwise. But then why the hell was I here? Why was I seeing this? Why did I make myself endure this shit? I wondered as I sucked in air and made steps to their table. Table five. "Scone?" I asked as Tammie instantly turned around. To pretend I didn't get a little relieve, a little sense of delight when she responded to my voice even before knowing it was me I bowed and pushed the tray to her. I didn't want to look at her either. We were worlds apart and I couldn't have her and she was beautiful.
"Freddie!" George shouted, hugging me with delight, his voice way too chipper for someone who hours ago suggested I stay home and not help host the wedding afterall. "What are you doing here?" he asked stupidly.
"Working, they have the elves making food and the poor people passing it out." I reminded him, though he still looked overly delighted with a little confusion. Was he drunk? I wondered? No, there was no way Melinda would let him show up drunk. "You two were supposed to be here half an hour ago" I said instead nodding at Melinda. "And what in Merlin's good name are you three doing here anyway? Do you really think the Malfoys would want you here?" I said knowing they weren't on the guest list. I would know, I memorized it. Just in case anyone else showed up. Draco had eased up a little since getting engaged to Tammie, but inviting Potter and Granger to their wedding seemed unlikely. He probably thought it was bad enough he had two Weasleys here.
"Poor people…?" Melinda asked just as stupidly. What the hell was wrong with them? I wondered. "But, if George is supposed to be helping why are his robes different from yours?" she asked. As if just noticing me for the first time they all looked over my clothes, a nice emerald green, like the rest of the wait staff. I went to make a comment but noticed Tammie's eyes lingering on me. She was definitely giving me the once over, I would know, I gave her that look countless times. But why the hell was she doing it now? I asked myself as she tried to hide her goofy smile, the smile that meant she thought I was attractive and was slightly embarrassed and suddenly shy about it. I made myself look away. She was probably just antsy, probably thinking of how good Draco would look in green.
"Well, I reckon that's because he's not poor. He did marry a Malfoy" I replied feeling myself glare at Melinda and George, unintentionally. Maybe. Though, I was a little thrown off by their surprise.
"Who? Draco?" Ron asked.
"What are you talking about?" I asked, narrowing my eyes, seeing that all of them looked unusually confused.
"Fred…do you mean, I'm a Malfoy?" Melinda asked. Again, it seemed like a stupid question. But it also seemed like a teasing question. Like she was throwing it my face. She had done a few times. She was good at letting me know I ruined my relationship back during fifth year and I didn't deserve Tammie. Tammie worked well with Draco, she made Draco better, a good person. She made him fall in love with her. Which was why she was now engaged to him. She was going to be a Malfoy. Just like Melinda. The lot of them were downright evil. Had Tammie never known Melinda she would've been fine. We could've gotten back together. We would've been okay. But Melinda, the Ravenclaw Malfoy that she was had easily convinced Tammie she could do better.
I always wondered if it was because she wanted to be the only one who had a Weasley. I wondered if she was just selfish and jealous and like Draco. Not that Tammie and everyone weren't to lose any blame. They had their parts. In the end I just wasn't enough to keep her. She didn't love me enough to try. I felt my jaw tense as I looked at Tammie. I missed her so much and it hurt even more knowing we were over.
Yet here I was. Still pinning. Hoping. And she was about to get married to the man of her dreams. If only Draco was her cousin and not Melinda's. That would have changed everything. Melinda would convince her that there was something there and Draco would learn to realize I loved her more. I brought my attention back to the group, realizing Tammie was looking at me. Was she thinking of our history? Was she hating me for not believing her all those times? Did she really not trust me after third year? Did she really believe that time Draco said I let her escape to go kill Burnner? I winced at the thought. Another fight of ours. Too many of those. At least I didn't have to do that anymore. I was done. I was free and happy. Right?
"Tammie! You're needed inside in ten minutes!" someone from the door called out, interrupting us. Tammie jumped in alert, though her face showed no sign of understanding she was doing a great job at playing along. Then again, she had practiced for years stringing me along. I thought miserably, even if I knew in the back of mind that wasn't true.
"Please, miss, have a scone" I repeated, now desperate to get away from them. Back instead, back to safety.
Either not wanting to cause a scene, or whatever, she reached out to take one but paused as she looked at her finger. I felt my chest tightening. I remembered the day he proposed. Melinda and George were out and had invited Ginny and myself. Draco and Tammie happened to already be there. He put the ring in her firewhiskey. It almost exploded, but, the waitress fished it out just in time. She said yes instantly, everyone clapped and they hugged and kissed. I stormed out, walking around town until my feet hurt. That was supposed to be me. I loved her. I needed her. I had her and then I lost her.
"Fred….What's your biggest fear?" Tammie asked in a slow worried voice. I snorted at her, they were making fun of me.
"It doesn't matter, you don't care." And with that, I was done. I nearly threw the tray on the table and walked off. I didn't have to deal with this shit. I offered to help cater to see if she was really happy. To see if this was what she really wanted to. To see if he was better than me. I knew I wasn't a Malfoy, I wasn't anything close to a Malfoy, but that never mattered, I was always enough. Until I wasn't. My biggest fear wasn't losing her or seeing her with someone else. It wasn't being at her wedding. It was knowing she stopped trying because I wasn't enough but still knowing she felt something. She proved it too. And like an idiot, I stood around to get hurt.
I had just made it back inside when I felt the heartache, but then, somewhere else, somewhere deeper I felt something else, but I couldn't place it, but it was a relief type of feeling. "Fred!" I heard Tammie's voice call out. I kept moving, I hated that I still knew her voice without seeing her. Not quick to think ahead I was too slow as I felt her hand reach for mine.
"What? What do you want?" I asked, pulling away, my tone pained and unfriendly, so that she took a step back. She knew this scene too. She knew the last time I looked this hurt. Our breakup fifth year. I wondered if she remembered everything after it.
"I want you" she said as something started stirring in my head but my thoughts were still on the written history on my brain.
"You've made it pretty clear that I'm not the one you want ages ago."
"What are you talking about?" she asked as I felt like shaking her. Why was she doing this? Why was she making me retell our breakup. That night hurt, that night ended everything. No it didn't. A low and weak voice whispered from somewhere in me. Remember. it said.
"That night we broke up, back during your fifth year, we never got back together. And then Abby died and you drifted from our little group, you eventually wanted more, what you deserved" I explained but my words sounded, odd. Scripted maybe? Something was different. My story didn't match Tammie's expression. It didn't match the slow stirring feelings. Still, it was in the past, this was what she wanted now. I reminded myself as I started to walk away again but George and Melinda blocked me off. "George, don't do this. I can't, okay? I know I said I would, but I can't." I told him, not really caring if his wife knew we had planned this.
"What were you going to do again? My mind is a bit fuzzy, blame the wife, huge distraction, she is" George said nudging Melinda and winking as she turned a deep red. Those two would certainly never change, I mumbled to myself.
"I volunteered to help, no one opposed. I wanted to…I wanted to explain one last time why I believe we belong together, if not, if only to see if you were really happy, to see if this is what you deserve…" I said, the words still hurting, but not as much as they did when I first saw her. Remember. the low voice echoed again. It sounded familiar.
"I don't want this, I want you" Tammie said, well, whispered as she took a step toward me and then another step, taking my hand in hers. This feels right and you know it. Remember. The voice was a little stronger now. "You mean everything to me…I just wish I knew how much I meant to you" I said, the script fading just in the slightest as I moved closer to her. You need to remember the truth now. Wake up and remember. The voice said as I glanced up at the sound of approaching footsteps, a little thrown to see Draco coming our way. Then again, he was the groom. But is he? The voice asked; why did it sound so familiar? I wondered but my eyes couldn't help but send glares to Draco's head as he looked over Tammie with extreme happiness.
"Tammie," Draco said from the doorway not even bothering to look at me. Typical. "You look beautiful" he said giving her a smile that I knew held all sorts of inappropriate thoughts. But when I looked at Tammie, I only saw a look that made that unknown voice in me want to laugh. She looked throughly disgusted and confused. Like she knew something Draco didn't. You know too, you need to remember. It's important. the voice told me but I shook my head, desperate for an escape so I turned to leave.
I had only just made it into the kitchen when I heard George's cry for me. Instantly I ran back out, seeing Melinda in his arms with a pained look on her face, Draco and George's faces just as pained. I couldn't say I was too surprised to see Hermione, Harry and Ron come from behind me.
"What they all doing here?" Draco asked with annoyance but to my surprise Tammie ignored him and started to walk to over to me, probably to tell me what happened, but Draco grabbed her arm.
"You said it was over with him. You said you needed stability and security and certainty" Draco said, his eyes suddenly dark. She said that, yes? You remember? The voice asked as my mind reeled back to one of our arguments. But it seemed real. I was mad she always picked her family over me. She trusted her family even if she didn't know them. She trusted Draco instantly. Draco was her family. Her cousin. Not Melinda's. That's right. Keep going. The voice said as it become more stronger as Tammie spoke up, her words erasing the scripted text in mind.
"I need spontaneous" she told Draco, pulling away. He's not real. I told myself, realizing that low voice was mine. I was trying to remind myself of reality. All I needed was the little spark from Tammie to assure me, to help me fight through it. As if proof, Draco disappeared. I felt myself smile but then just as suddenly I felt other dark thoughts surface. The point was, she didn't think I was enough. She had gone for others instead of sticking it through with me. Even when we were first meet. She went for him afterall. I thought with distaste as Oliver appeared in front us, now he was dressed like a groom. Great, my mind sucked. I told myself as I remembered Burnner. She played us all, she played Oliver, she played Tammie. The bitch was still alive too. We were in her warped nightmare puzzle.
"You said you needed support, encouragement and reliability" he said as I grunted, why couldn't I move, why could I say anything? I was supposed to be getting myself out of this, but yet I was relying on Tammie. I was proving to her I wasn't enough for her. Or are you? The voice asked, now sounding a little like my own.
"I need excitement" she told Oliver as I blinked and he was gone. Fred, fight it. You know the truth, you know she loves you. Remember, hold on to that and don't let anything convince you otherwise. You're her best friend. I told myself as Lee popped up. She dumped me fourth year to date her best friend.
"You said you needed laughter, freedom and independence" Lee said as he stared at me. Oh c'mon, you know what she needs, remember? I asked myself as the words in my head echoed Tammie's.
"I need loyalty" she told him as he too disappeared but I could've sworn I saw a friendly smile before he did. Maybe that was my subconscious knowing Lee too well. It's a dream, this isn't real. She wants me. She always wanted me. She always came back. I told myself as I looked over at Melinda who was being helped up by George.
"It's okay, it's over" she said as she looked at me. Tammie looked at me too. It now seemed quite stupid that I had imagined she married her cousin. Believed everything he said, sure, but marriage? Burnner was one sick witch and I couldn't wait to take her down. I won though, I beat my fear, I stayed to remember, I stayed to hear everything, to bring myself back to reality, to not let her go. No one else would do that. Not Oliver, not even Lee-to that extent-or Draco-without doing something stupid. No one else loved her like I did. I clenched my teeth as I felt one name slowly creeping in the back of my mind but forced myself to ignore it as Tammie kissed my cheek, giving me a little feeling of relaxation.
"Come on" she said as I took her hand. Gladly. I thought as I noticed a door that had appeared out of nowhere.
"That wasn't there before" I told the others as I pointed at the door, the word EXIT in bright red letters. Hermione pushed it open and ran inside, Harry and Ron after her. George and Melinda went inside too, but stopped just in the doorway.
"There's another door," Hermione started. I turned around to look at what she was looking at. It was The Burrow.
"Come on, let's go inside! Oy! It's locked!" I heard Ron say. I felt my insides tense again. Locked wasn't good. It meant we weren't done here. It meant I hadn't ignored that name well enough. As if to confirm it I felt the presence of someone behind us. Slowly, like the others, I turned around. There standing outside the doorway dressed in the same robes Draco, Oliver and Lee had all worn was Matt. I couldn't deny he was more attractive than myself. And he wanted Tammie. Sometimes, late at night, before I would go sleep I wondered, being what he was would he be able to save Tammie from Burnner. Would it do it better? Would he love her as much as I did or more? He was a threat. He was my competition. He was in love with my girlfriend and he was her best friend. I snuck a look at her, she was definitely checking him out. But, what did that mean? What did I need to do here? How could I win? I asked myself as Matt spoke, practically saying what I was thinking.
"She says she needs a spontaneous, exciting and loyalty guy" Matt said, looking at me but I didn't respond, how did he know what I was thinking? Was he real? Or like the others? Was he helping Burnner? Or was he helping us? "Right?" he asked, now looking at Tammie who only nodded as I felt a hot wave of anger pass through me. I hated the bastard, I did. I loathed every part of him and I was sure hated me just as much, but this wasn't up to me. This was up to Tammie. It was always up to her. After all the reasoning and logic and interactions and giving it was her that decided of her own feel free. She had to pick. I thought as I looked over at her, opening my mouth to say that but heard Matt speak first, knowing he was going to say what I was thinking. He was a projection of some sorts, like the others. This was everything I always told Tammie but now she could see it through my eyes, she could see why I was terrified of losing her, why it was a constant thought. Why it was still a fear. "Well? Who's it going to be?" Matt asked, though not in the tone of already knowing, but in the tone I would've asked. If she picked him, fine, that was her decision. I would go and let her be happy with him. If she picked him, I'd leave her alone. I told myself though every part of me was fighting against it. Fuck. That. I heard myself say as I glared at Matt. Tammie was my girl. I spent years pinning after her and convincing her I loved her and everything else. I was not just going to let him win. This was my nightmare. It was time I woke up and fought for Tammie.
"Not you" I said, my voice so firm and confident I almost didn't recognize it. But it still felt like me. I felt like me. Even better actually.
"Why?" Matt asked, though seemed more like an actual curiosity question.
"Tell him Tammie" I said, all of reality hitting me. All the self-pity gone. All the confidence back. The last time we were in the situation shit had happened, but shit was always going to happen. There was no perfect time, I knew it and she knew it. Yes she was probably terrified but she knew I was right here, just like I'd always be. "Tammie" I said as we looked at each other. I gulped, my brain fighting my body to not run over and grab her to kiss her. Everything good she made me feel felt ten times more intensified. Her smile; I loved her smile. I loved her and the way she was looking at me I just knew there was no one else for her, I was enough.
"I love you Fred" she said as I felt my body soar. Those were the words. Fighting words, winning words. Lovely words coming from no one better. Take that, Burnner. I said with a self-assured inner high five.
"I love you too" I said as she blushed. "Matt," I said turning back to him, my words not jus for him, but Burnner too. I knew she was listening. I knew she still thought she could tear us apart. "You can't have her, I love her, I always will. Burnner can make me relive this a thousand times but she said everything I needed to hear, she brought back my faith" I said as Matt smiled, a true sincere smile. Like he had never actually hated me. But that couldn't be right. Could it?
"And you trust her love in you?" he asked, still curious sounding.
"Always trust the one you love," I said almost automatically, reciting it from somewhere but not remembering where. Matt smiled and with a blink of an eye, he was gone.
"Now can we can go?" Ron asked impatiently, his hand still on the doorknob. Tammie nodded as Ron went to try the door again. "It still won't open" he said angrily. "Hey, what's that?" he asked pointing to a random nearby desk. Tammie nudged me and motioned to the table, laying there was my wand. I laughed and went over and grabbed it, taking the little ribbon off it and stuffing it in my pocket. I felt something else in my pocket, it was smooth. I ran my fingers over it, words. It was stone. I secretly smiled, that's why those words I just said sounded familiar. Thank you,Matt. I heard myself whisper in the far back of my mind as I pointed at the door. "Alohomra" I whispered as it opened. The others ran in first.
"Fred—" Tammie started but I didn't get to hear the rest of what she was going to say because my lips were pressed against hers. She loved me. I loved her. We were going to make it out of this maze of nightmares just fine, we had each other, and our friends. All our friends. I thought as I slowly pulled away, only wishing to kiss her again.
"Come on!" Ron shouted at us. Tammie giggled and blushed but before she could get too silly I took her arm and lead her inside, the door slamming shut behind us.