Somewhere along the conversation, Amy had came and sat at their table. She looked much better now that the color had returned to her cheeks. Apparently, she had taken her dinner to go and had eaten in her tent. After a moment of making sure she was alright, Tommy continued with the story. Jack decided he had reached the part where they had the day all to themselves.
"From what I heard, Jack, you stole my idea and went into the countryside too!" Tommy accused playfully.
Jack snorted softly, "Yeah…we uh…we went to this state park somewhere up north. And uh…"
"That's where you had your first kiss, from what I heard." Amy broke in with a smile. Jack chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his neck as he stared down at the table. "Yeah…"She continued. "Claire told me you gave her the most romantic first kiss she'd ever dreamed of!" Jack shook his head and opened his mouth, but nothing came out but air. Oh, my gawd! He's lost his voice! "Yep!" Amy continued unmercifully, "She told me it was like something out of a movie, complete with the Oak tree, the wooden swing, and the beach!" She laughed. Jack turned five shades of red, ran both hands through his hair, and just put his head down. This was embarrassing! "Well, come on! Say something, Jack! I know it was your first kiss, too!"
"Jack? My mother was your first kiss?!" Daniel asked, surprised. Although he couldn't see it, he could tell the kid had a smile on his face.
"And he was hers." Amy said, "Spill, Jack! Spill!"
"It's just like you said!" Jack shrugged, smiling nervously. "It was a classic- swing, oak tree, everything, okay?!" He turned his head and looked away so no one else could see him but Sam, who sat next to him.
Sam had been watching Jack the whole night. After nine years of knowing the man, she could read him like a book! Just like the rest of her team. But the way she read Jack was different. She read two different versions of him every time. The first version was what Daniel, Teal'c, and everyone else looked at all the time. That was the Colonel-Jack side. It was the side who knew how to lead, but also knew how to maintain morale. It was both his sarcastic side, and his commanding side put together. Sam read that easily. The second version, although, was a more difficult one to interpret. Call it a woman's instincts, but the first time she saw this second side of him, she just knew this was the REAL Jack O'Neill. This second side was nothing like the first! Not at all. It was a softer side, a gentler side to him. It was also a very sensitive side as well. Jack could do all he wanted to hide his true feeling from the outside world, but to Sam, they broadcasted out like a radio show! She knew how he was feeling, when he was feeling it, and no matter how much he wanted to hide it. She knew him! She knew the real Jack O'Neill!
As Jack turned and hid his head her way, she saw something there. Something different. Something she never saw before. This was new to her, so everything was somewhat elusive. There was something in his eyes. The way they were always diverted downward, the way he always looked lost in thought. It made him look like he was…depressed! Then it hit Sam. Something went on between him and Daniel's mother! Something bad. Trying to figure out what it was, Sam's ears picked up the rest of the conversation about the New York Trip.
"So, Jack…" Tommy started. "What happened after the trip, man? Between you and Claire? Cause, I know this is sad but…you two were the only couple that didn't make it. I mean…I'm still with Amy, Michael and Lex are married, Chris is still with Gia, Rick and Em are engaged, and JJ and Marie have a pair of twins, so…what happened, man?"
Jack was silent for a long while.
He doesn't wanna talk about it. Sam realized. This is what's been bugging him all night! The memories. She figured.
Jack unconsciously started to shake his leg nervously. He leaned both his hands on the bench area next to him and started silently drumming his fingers on the old wood. "After, uh…" He stuttered. "After…we…left." The drumming and the leg shaking started getting more and more rapid, Sam noticed. Slowly and carefully moving her hand over onto the bench. She tenderly glided it over the wood and let it come to rest right next to Jack's hand. Feeling the touch of another's skin against his, he stopped shaking his leg. "Shortly after I…arrived home, I decided that… I had no future there! My life was going nowhere." He said, no longer stuttering. Cautiously, he stopped drumming and leaned his fingers forward, searching for the other's. He felt it! Three silky soft fingers were there- under his touch. Ever so lightly, he gripped the three silky fingers in hope that they would respond. They did! The silky-smooth fingers gently gripped his and soon, he felt the thumb and pinky as well. Shortly after, he semi-consciously started running his thumb over the nails, and the other's silky smooth thumb started rubbing his knuckled gently.
"So I decided to join the Air Force." Jack continued. "And that put a strain in the relationship because she…was anti-military." He told them. Sam could sense it again. The sadness was beginning to set in. This was what was bothering him in the first place! Leaning closer to him, she listened intently. "It worked for the first two months. We called each other, wrote as much as we could…" His eyes then glazed over as he slipped into his abyss of memories. "…but then they sent me to Vietnam. And…it went downhill from there. I called her as much as I could, I wrote to her every second I wasn't holding a gun…I did everything possible!" Suddenly, the hand she held gripped hers even harder. The rough part was about to come up, Sam realized. Matching his grip, she showed him her support. "The uh…the day before our six month anniversary, headquarters summoned me, and I was told I was going to be sent home in four months! And uh…I was happy!" His voice, though, was a tone of sadness. "I went into town and bought a uh…a…uh…" His breathing started to sound slightly labored. "…I bought an engagement ring." At that moment, it was as if the whole room went silent.
"The day of our anniversary…I called her." Jack continued, his voice growing softer and softer. "I was gonna tell her I was coming home…then I was gonna propose to her." His eyes diverted back to the table. "When she answered the phone, though, she had something to say to me first…so I let her speak." He swallowed and a long silence ensued. "She uh…she told me it wouldn't work." His voice began to crack and he gripped Sam's hand tighter. "She told me it'd be best if we didn't see each other anymore…cause she didn't wanna add a few extra burdens to my life." He swallowed again. "I told her she wasn't a burden to me. That I wanted her in my life. That I wanted to marry her and start a family. I told her EVERYTHING! " He said loudly. But just as fast as it had gotten loud, it softened. "But she just…broke down and said she didn't know if she wanted it…yet." His grip on her hand started to loosen. "I begged her not to go. Swore that we could work everything out…but, it didn't take." He paused again. "She told me she loved me, then hung up." He gave Sam a small, grateful smile before releasing her hand and running his over his weary face. "When I saw her again a year later, she was married with a baby boy." He quickly glanced up at Daniel and gave him a lopsided grin before retreating back into his own thoughts. "So much for first love lasting forever, huh, Tommy?" He gave Tommy a wry grin and stood up from the table. Everyone followed him with their eyes as he placed his tray in the nearest tray rack and left the tent.