Bananas
The Doctor was lying on his back on the floor of the TARDIS, holding a banana in front of his face.
"I love bananas!" he said, gazing at it with slightly bleary eyes.
Rose chose that moment to walk in.
"Is this a bad time?" she asked, trying to keep a straight face.
"Rose!" the Doctor exclaimed, lifting his head off the floor to look at her. "Would you like a banana?"
"I don't think so," said Rose.
The Doctor looked shocked. He pushed himself up onto his elbows. "But it's the most amazing fruit in the universe," he said, sounding slightly hurt. He opened his eyes wide. "Come to the banana, Rose. You can feel it calling you." He waved the banana at her temptingly.
Jack chose that moment to walk in.
Both Rose and the Doctor turned their heads to look at him.
"Should I leave?" he asked apologetically, pointing his thumb over his shoulder toward the door.
"No!" Rose said. She grabbed Jack and ushered him further into the room.
The Doctor sat up. "Just remember, you asked for this," he told Rose. Then he held the banana out like a talisman towards Rose.
"Jack, Rose doesn't find this banana…a-peel-ing." he said.
Jack looked from the Doctor to Rose. Then he favored the Doctor with a grin.
"That's horrible," Jack said, "You two could have split it!"
He looked far too satisfied with himself.
Rose turned at him.
"Traitor!" she said.
"What's she talking about, Doctor?" Jack asked innocently.
"Not a clue," the Doctor answered. He pushed himself off the ground and stood up. "To be honest, I think she's gone a bit fruity." He and Jack shook their heads sadly at each other.
"Thanks a bunch!" said Rose. Both the Doctor and Jack giggled. Rose realized what she had just said and held her hands up in protest. "No, no, I didn't mean it that way!"
"Sure you didn't," said Jack, exchanging a knowing glance with the Doctor.
"No, it just slipped out," Rose protested, then slapped her forehead with her hand. "No, I mean-"
The Doctor stepped closer to Rose and cut her off. Using both hands he held the banana up in front of her face.
"Don't resist the banana," he said seriously.
Jack chimed in.
"When it comes to bananas I think she's yellow." He was on a roll.
"It probably stems from a repressed childhood," the Doctor told Jack matter-of-factly.
"Oh, almost certainly." Jack nodded in agreement.
Rose gathered herself up.
"I think you're both bananas!" she said, glaring at them as if daring them to say anything else. Then she stomped out of the room.
Jack and the Doctor watched her leave.
The Doctor shrugged.
"I can think of worse things to be."
He flipped the banana over to Jack.
Jack caught the Doctor's eye.
"How do you feel about…strawberries?"
Eight banana puns in one story. My work here is done.
And now for the love of all that is good and right in the world…REVIEW!!! REVIEW!!! I feel like I'm calling out into a desert wasteland with no response…
There. Was that desperate enough for you?