I just want someone who will never stop choosing me.
Fitz's POV
I don't know how we manage to follow Eli into the kitchen, but we do, hand in hand. My heart is racing despite my calm demeanor. I have to remind myself that I'm here for Liv, i'm here for the love of my life...that I would do anything for her. And I seriously would.
It was my idea to come here in the first place, but in the end, it was for Livvy. It always comes back to her. I don't do things without having her first in my mind.
"Olivia," Eli suddenly turns around.
Liv's hand suddenly squeezes mine. She doesn't say anything - she hasn't since we arrived about a minute ago. Olivia really doesn't have to worry - I won't let Eli disrespect her at all. I know he is her father but I really couldn't give less of a shit. As soon as things get ugly, i'm here for her. I always will be.
"Why don't you go upstairs?"
I watch as Liv runs out of the kitchen, as if she's on fire. I stare at her blankly, wondering what type of sexist, traditional crap just happened. He legit asked her to leave so us men could talk. I'm surprised that she actually did, but I'm sure she would do anything to get out of here right now. I can't blame her.
I cross my arms. Is it just me or did it get like, ten degrees colder in here?
Eli opens and closes some cabinets in the kitchen. He does it so intimidatingly. Hell, everything he does at this point is intimidating. But I am desperate to hide just how scared I am. I'm here for Liv and Liv only. If I keep that in mind...
"Who are you?" Eli asks, his voice cutting through the thick silence.
"Um," I wipe my hands on my jeans and stare at him blankly. "I told you, sir. I'm Fitzgerald Grant."
I "I know your name," Eli pours himself a scotch and leans against the counter. He takes a long sip, speaking patiently. Which is even more intimidating, if possible. "I'm asking who you are. As a person."
I pause, slightly taken aback. I realize that my name has always worked for me - it was all I had. Son of Jerry Grant. That was me. And now...it doesn't mean anything. And I think that's a good thing.
"I'm a man who loves your daughter," I tell him.
It's not that hard. It's the God honest truth. I have nothing more to say.
Eli doesn't reply, giving me the opportunity to elaborate. But I can't. I feel like I swallowed sand. I don't think I've ever been this scared. "Why won't you forgive her?"
"Why are you here?" Eli asks simply, completely ignoring my question.
"I asked you first," I dare to say.
Eli doesn't miss a beat. "This is my house and I asked you second."
I press my lips together. "I'm here for her. I love her."
"You already said that," Eli puts down his glass and exhales deeply. He's quiet for a second and the tension between us is even thicker than before. "Why are you lying to me?"
"Excuse me?"
"You're lying," Eli states. "You saw the look on Olivia's face. She's terrified. She doesn't want to be here, not with me. I'm suspecting that you dragged her here."
"I didn't," I insist, not even believing my own words. He's right. I have a feeling he almost always is. "I want what's best for her."
"That may be true," Eli says quietly, no longer looking at me but the rim of his glass. "But you didn't come here for her. You came here for yourself." He pauses. "I'm just trying to figure out why."
I look away as well. I am too.
"And to answer your question," Eli goes on. "I don't if I am going to forgive Olivia. I didn't plan to and in a way, I still don't. But I know my daughter. And I know she doesn't give up without a fight."
"Livvy," I walk upstairs, both our suitcases in my arms. I scan my eyes around huge second floor and locate the only open door.
"Livvy?" I repeat, standing in the doorway.
She's by the curtain less window. Her hair is down and her makeup is off. She's in nothing but my NAVY t-shirt, which comes up to her upper thighs. Usually I would find this completely sexy but she has such a lost look on her face right now that I'm actually worried.
I look around her room. It's light blue and fully furnished, which I find weird. It seems like there would be plenty of guest rooms in this house. So why would this be one? Is this even her room?
"My dad redid my room," she says, as if reading my mind. Her voice is barely audible and so completely far away. She doesn't look scared anymore. She just looks... heartbroken. "He never thought I would come home. He never wanted me to."
"Liv," I mumble pathetically. I lower myself to the side of the bed and reach for her hand. "I'm...sorry. Do you want to go? We can go if you want."
Liv doesn't reply.
I take a deep breath. This was a mistake. I'm a poor excuse for a human being. What the actual hell is wrong with me? "I'm sorry, baby. Im so sorry."
Liv is quiet, but she lets me hold her hand. "I don't want to go. I just..."
She inhales deeply and looks at me.
She has tears in her big brown eyes. When I see them, I truly know what pain is. And I never wanted her to experience it this bad. I just wanted...I don't know what I wanted.
"Fitz, I lied to you," Liv whispers, squeezing my hand. "I'm not okay. I'm still hurt...I still love him, okay? I still love my dad and I want him to love me too...so badly."
"Oh," is all I can manage to say.
I can't tell her how I'm feeling. I can't sympathize. I always looked to my father for approval but I don't think I ever loved him. I just didn't.
"It's gonna be okay," I tell her, pulling her towards me gently. I don't know this - I never do. But I always tell her this because it's the only thing that ever makes her calm down.
"He hates me," Liv sniffs. Every heavy breath she takes looks like it's draining all her strength. I don't think I have ever seen her like this. "He hates me and I don't even know why. That video...Fitz, I've done worse. S-so much worse."
I shake my head. I definitely don't want to hear the even worse things my girlfriend has done. I just want her to be happy. I want to make her happy and I fail all the time. "It's alright. It's okay."
"I've done terrible things," Liv breathes, tears rushing down her face.
I put my hands on her waist and push her down to sit with me. I hold her against my chest tightly. Resting my jaw on her head, I rub her back softly. "We've all done terrible things. It doesn't make us bad people. It makes us human."
We're both quiet for a minute and I really think Liv fell asleep in my arms until she speaks up quietly. "I'm sorry."
"For not being made out of stone?" I smile sadly against her hair. "It's okay. It's alright. It's all gonna be alright. I'm gonna take care of it. I'm gonna handle it."
"...Fitz..."
"I promise Liv," I hug her, tighter than I ever have before. "Consider it handled."
Olivia's POV
I inhale the scent of Fitz's cologne and wrap my arms around his neck.
I'm not mad at him for bringing me here. I wanted to come in a way. Deep inside. I just thought things would be different. Like I would come home and...I don't know. My father would forgive me. But that was wishful thinking. Stupid wishful thinking.
I know Fitz's intentions were good. They always are. But I just didn't think it would sting this much. After all we've been through together...
"There's a reason, right?" I ask him, my mouth against the fabric of his shirt.
We're laying down together and we have been for I don't know how long. I don't know if we're staying. I don't know anything.
Fitz stops tracing light circles on my back with his finger. "For what, Livvy?"
"That we're still together?" I mumble, hopeful for the answer I want to hear.
"Yes," Fitz replies without missing a beat.
"You really think so?"
"I know so."
I close my eyes. I think that's what I needed. To hear that and to be enveloped in his arms. My arms are wrapped around him, my head is resting on his collarbone. One arms of his is around my body and the other hand is cupped around the bare back of my thigh. I think this is all I will ever need, honestly.
I don't know what's gonna happen with my dad. My guess is he'll kick us out by tomorrow. My guess is that he will never talk to me again. And I have to truly make peace with that. If there is anything I have learned these past few years, it's that God never gives us anything we can't handle. I'm wasn't all that religious and I'm still now but I can't deny that I've been blessed to be loved so much. And I have to have fate if I'm gonna survive. And I have, you know? I survived all this. I can survive anything. I'm Olivia Pope and I can do anything I want.
And all I want to do right now is sleep.
"I love you," I mumble. It's times like these I realize that I don't say that enough.
"I love you more."
I'm about to start arguing that but I can literally feel myself dozing off into a much needed sleep.
Fitz kisses my temple and I can feel him start to sit up. My arm lays on his lap.
"Wait," I hold on to his shirt. "Where are you going?"
Fitz kisses me again, this time on the lips. "Shh, Livvy, go to sleep."
I grab his hand. "Stay here."
"I'm right here," he promises. My eyes close again and I hold on to his hand tightly.
But I feel him move again. "Fitz!"
"Olivia, go to sleep," Fitz whispers. "It's okay."
"Where are you going?"
"Go to sleep," Fitz repeats. "I'll be back before you wake up."
"Fitz..."
He pushes me down as gently as possible and wraps the blanket around me. "Go. To. Sleep. I love you."
I begin to protest but with a final kiss on the cheek, Fitz is out the door and God knows where.
I sigh into the pillow. I have no idea where he is going or when he'll be back. But I'm way too tired to overthink this. I just have to do what I always do - trust him.
I close my eyes and just let myself fall asleep.
AN: I know this chapter was short but at least I got it to you sooner than I had planned to. And you guys know I had to put in that Navy shirt after Thursday's episode. :) That episode was crazy by the way! So many good parts but in general, it was insane. I think that this season will resemble early season 3...let me know your thoughts about it in a review or on Tumblr ! (my URL is idle-aesthetic)