Chapter 37- Love

The response was almost immediate, bar the little stutter in between. It was exactly how I expected it... but it still hurt.

"Hah!"

A choked laugh told me everything I needed to know.

"I love you!? What the fuck! Who would even make up shit like that!?"

Nnoitra bounced up off the bed and leant on the wall, watching me mirror his movements exactly.

"And what did you say to that?"

Shrugging, I began to walk out of the steamy bedroom.

"I didn't. You interrupted me anyway. I can't remember what I was going to say."

He followed me out of the room, eyeing me as I poured myself a glass of water and glugged it down in two gulps.

"Liar."

There was a few moments of awkward speechlessness, the only sound was my feet scuffling the marble tiles below the table and Nnoitra fiddling with the silver bangles on his wrist, jingling with a metallic sound.

"Am not."

He slammed his palms down on the table, but let a playful smile spread across his face.

"Are too."

I loved it when he was like that; so easy to get along with. But I also knew he could change his mood so fast I wouldn't even notice it happening until he'd start howling vulgar words at me, telling me how crap and useless I was.

But to my surprise, his mood was being pretty steady at the moment. He began pacing around the kitchen, eyes smacked shut and mouth curved up in a weird stretched smirk... he was impersonating Gin. He wobbled round in circles, flailing his arms around like a drowning duck.

"Oooh, look at me, I'm Ichimaru Gin and I like to freak everyone out with my paedophile face and piss people off by asking out-of-order questions. Oooh! Oooh! Aizen-sama, smack me! Oooh!"

Sniggering quietly with my hand politely in front of my mouth, I realised how weird Nnoitra's voice was when he did his Ichimaru Gin impression. It sounded incredibly... camp. And it was odd, because no one around here is like that (apart from Szayel Apporo… he's obviously insane though).

Nnoitra eventually got dizzy from looping the kitchen table and toppled backwards against the wall, blinking madly and rolling his eyes.

"Urgh. Remind me never to fuckin' do that again. Feel sick, dammit."

Crossing my arms on the table and resting my head on them, I carried on grinning to myself, the image of Nnoitra flouncing around in circles permanently tattooed on my brain. The picture kept looping itself over and over in my head, my own eyes began to dart from left to right as if I were still watching him. And then suddenly the clip was shaken away. Nnoitra had flopped down on the chair opposite me, head cocked up on his right hand and the other hand snaking across the small table towards me.

"But seriously..."

It landed on the back of my head, almost stroking my hair like I had done to him earlier.

"...What were ya gonna say to him?"

Shit.

I had hoped he'd forgotten about that. Why did he need to know anyway?

Shaking his hand from my head, I stood up and strode out of the room, leaving Nnoitra's hand palm down on the oak table.

I don't want to say what I was thinking... I should make a break for it now.

Immediate fail.

"Oi. You didn't answer my fuckin' question! Ya' know, this is why I know you were gonna say somethin'. 'Cos every time I mention it, you make some pissy excuse and walk off like I never said anythin'. Now answer me, for fucks' sake!"

He had me up against the wall, trapped between white and white, both as impossible to cut as the other. There was no choice but to answer.

"I was just going to say... that I didn't think you were capable of loving me, Nnoitra-sama."

His whole face dropped as I choked the words up from my throat.

"Not... capable!?"

He spat the word out as if he had just chewed up some of Szayel's cooking. I should have never phrased it that way. Nnoitra was under the notion that he was capable of anything and everything, whether it be defeating all the Espada or knitting the world's largest sock... he thought he could do it. Anyone who looked down on him was despised by him. And the way I put it, it sounded as if I was pitying his disability to love, like he was handicapped or something. And he did not like that.

"Not fucking capable!? The fuck you tryin' ta say!? You of all people should know I'm capable of fuckin' everythin'!"

I winced at every mention of the word 'fuck'; the words seemed to pin me to my place even more, sticking into my skin and making a scar. However on the inside I was laughing. How ironic; the man who was saying he could love was practically squishing possibly the only person who could love him back right now.

"Nnoitra-sama... why does it even matter!? I never said that to anyone; and it makes no difference to me if you can love or not! Because you certainly don't love me!"

Little beads of sweat began to form on my neck; I was getting angry and there was no space for me to let off steam. Every time I pushed him back, he came forward again with more force; more anger. This was the first time there was any proper friction between us both; indignation against rage, naivety against exasperation. The outcome couldn't be good, and I had no idea how long my tether was.

"What, so you're a fuckin' mind reader now!? How do you know I don't love you, eh!?"

Rolling my eyes and attempting to push him away again, I decided to remind him of his reaction to the rumour a few minutes ago.

"I believe the words were' hah, who would make up that shit'. Oh yeah Nnoitra, they are totally the words of a love-struck Espada. Obviously."

He lifted his knee and smashed it into my stomach, whacking me against the wall and then letting me fall to his feet. I kneeled there, gasping for air and wiping the blood from my chin.

"Don't you fuckin' get clever with me, whore."

It was then that I realised I had a lot more strength left in me that usual. Usually I would have already given up, but this time I rose to my feet and simply answered him with a 'heh'.

"I don't get it Nnoitra. Isn't 'love' just another annoying emotion that gets in the way of all your 'bountiful murder'?"

Nnoitra hissed and sent his fist flying towards my face... but to my surprise I blocked it automatically with my wrist.

"Okay then, since you are so desperate to prove your undying love for me, drop on one knee and ask me to marry you"

He burst out laughing, every 'ha' slashed at my chest like sword cuts... why did it hurt so badly?

"Espada don't get fuckin' married. They just fuck 'n' go."

"So you said it yourself, Espada don't love. YOU don't love."

I fell back onto the sofa, still breathing heavily but fully enjoying watching Nnoitra struggle to dig himself out of this one.

"I could love if I wanted to."

"And do you?"

Silence.

What an idiot. You'd think that someone as skilled a fighter as Nnoitra could tell when he was in love or not. I know I could. He just stood there, eyes narrowed and dark, glaring at the floor. I got up and walked over to him, peering into those small little blue eyes of his. He certainly wasn't emotionless. Not even Ulquiorra is emotionless. Nnoitra had anger, anxiety, determination, passion and I believe happiness was somewhere in that heart of his too. But love... is totally different. And I just couldn't believe that someone like him could handle it.

Pushing on the ground, I stood on my tip-toes and clasped my hands on his cheeks, forcing those eyes to look into my own. And then I pulled him towards me, lips colliding and then locking into a perfect kiss, only parting to take a breath and then going in for more. After a while, I pulled away again and settled on the floor again; feet flat on the marble tiles.

"Feel anything special?"

Nnoitra looked totally blank, and then gave the answer... which in turn told me everything.

"...Your lips...?"

Love that lasts the longest... is the love that is not returned.

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A/N- Is this what you all expected... or not? Tell me!! It's just that personally, I cannot imagine Nnoitra loving anyone. Not even himself. That sounds dodgy, but it isn't. Hope you all enjoyed chapter 37; next chapter is kind of angsty and kill-yourself-sad. Oh well. :D