If You Love Her, Let Her Go
"Hey, Fuyuhiko, she's not here," Hajime said into his phone, cautiously stepping over the crowd of unconscious gunmen to avoid stepping on any body parts.
Peko wasn't nearly as considerate, stepping on toes and fingers without caring about their pain. Though... that might have been the part where these unconscious people had just tried to kill them.
"I won't tell you anything!" The woman screamed defiantly as Peko tied her up, staring at her intensely.
"You don't have a choice," Peko stated, slowly showing her sword to the woman.
"Correction: I can't tell you anything!" The woman cried out, her voice switching from defiant to desperate in a second. "My job was just to get you off my employer's tail for a few days! I don't know anything!"
"I see," Peko nodded, standing and brushing the dust off her clothes. "We should get back to Fuyuhiko-kun, then."
"What do we do with Owari?" Hajime gestured to the woman, making her flinch.
"H-h-how do you know my name?!" Owari demanded, staring at Hajime in fear.
"I know your sister, Akane," Hajime said nonchalantly. "You're... Midori, right?"
"...and why the hell should I tell you?!"
"Because we're dropping you off at her place," Hajime stated. "And she would beat me up for getting your name wrong."
"Won't she get mad that we tied up her sister?" Peko asked.
"Nah, I'll tell Akane that she was trying to trespass and it was the only way to keep her from getting arrested," Hajime shrugged.
"No, no!" Owari wailed. "She'll ground me for months! Please! Spare me!"
"Sorry, no can do," Hajime retorted with a wry grin.
"There's no way I'm letting you sleep in my room," Natsumi huffed, crossing her arms over her chest.
"U-um... Do you have a guest room then...?" Mikan asked timidly.
"If you mean you want to sleep with the cat, go right ahead."
"Okay, thank you-"
"What?! No!" Natsumi exclaimed suddenly, growling at the nurse. "That was not the right answer! You were supposed to be like 'hell fucking no, I am not sleeping with your fucking cat, bitch'-"
"But I'm fine with that-"
"No you are not!" Natsumi snapped. "You are supposed to go 'oh, well, what other options do I have?' and then I offer Fuyuhiko's room or my parents' room, except my parents' room isn't an option because they would crush you alive and-
"I'm o-okay with sleeping with the cat!"
"Do you want to be crushed alive?! Or shipped off to space?! Because that's what I'm going to fucking do to you!" Natsumi threatened, glaring at the nurse.
"E-eep! Please forgive me! P-please don't k-kill me!" Mikan pleaded, clasping her hands together to beg for mercy.
"Go. Sleep. In. His. Room," Natsumi ordered. "Preferably sharing the same mattress."
"E-eh?! Won't he b-b-be uncomfortable w-with that?!"
"Trust me, he won't mind," Natsumi left out the 'if anything, he'll enjoy it'. Rolling her eyes, she began shooing Mikan away, even making little 'shoo shoo' noises.
Natsumi sighed as Mikan nervously moved past her, heading towards the bedrooms.
'There's no way I can have the patience to hear her out... Fuyuhiko, you better make her feel better, or I'll hang you and drag your body through the streets!'
Natsumi was very good at persuading Fuyuhiko to agree with her idea. It might have had something to do with how she kept saying the words 'You're the only one who can help her'.
But no matter how charismatic Natsumi was, Fuyuhiko was beginning to wonder if he could help Mikan at all.
She had been extremely quiet even since she entered the room, wordlessly dropping her bag on top of the extra futon. The space between them felt insurmountable, even though it was just a few steps.
Fuyuhiko wanted to help, but... how?
Suddenly a sob broke the silence. Mikan began to tremble as tears ran down her face.
"Mikan?"
The brunette stared at Fuyuhiko, her lips wobbling as she cried. "I-I'm sorry..."
"You didn't do anything wrong," Fuyuhiko stated. "You didn't know that she would disappear."
"But... but...!"
"You can tell me."
"...okay," Mikan nodded, whimpering. "Is it too m-much to ask...? C-can I... can I have a hug?"
Without another word, Fuyuhiko walked up to her, wrapping his arms around the taller woman. Even though she was several centimeters taller than him, she rested her head on Fuyuhiko's shoulder, grabbing at his clothes as she cried.
"What if she d-doesn't come back?!" Mikan wailed, desperately clutching at Fuyuhiko. "What-what if h-he'll be gone for years?! Decades! O-or... if she... if he comes back... and-and he's someone completely d-different? After b-being gone for so long, wouldn't a-anyone become a completely different person?"
"Mikan? Are you still talking about Nanami?" Fuyuhiko asked carefully, not wanting to upset her even more.
"I-! Um, yes- no, E-er! Um..." Mikan cried out in distress. "I don't know! Both of them!"
"Both?"
"C-Chiaki-san... and my father," Mikan confessed. "I'm talking about both of them."
"What's going on?" Kotoko stared at the TV in confusion, wincing as Ibuki missed another note. The musician's smile was strained and obviously forced, which didn't fit at all with her usual performances. "Is she pulling some sort of 'Halfassed' gimmick or something?"
"No!" Nagisa said immediately, his worried eyes fixated on his sister's performance. "She must be sick or something. There's no way Ibuki would do anything halfway!"
"I-I'm sorry..." Ibuki stopped her song suddenly, dropping her false smile. "I thought I could do this, but... I don't think I can perform."
"Ibuki...?"
"I'm not going on hiatus or anything!" Ibuki exclaimed onscreen, trying backtrack, before frowning. She crossed her arms over her chest, but... it looked more like she was hugging herself, trying to provide comfort for herself. "One of my best friends, my roommate... she's been missing for a week now."
Nagisa's eyes widened in shock, immediately paling.
"Nagisa?" Kotoko turned to her blue-haired friend, staring at him in concern. "You okay?"
"..." Nagisa sighed tiredly, grimacing.
"I... I should have known!" The musician cried out, tears beginning to roll down her face. Almost immediately, the crowd began screaming things like 'It's not your fault!' and 'Don't worry!', but Ibuki continued, her grief drowning out all other noises. "It's-It's all... it's all my fault... I should have... I f-failed her..."
"That idiot," Nagisa growled, gritting his teeth at the scene.
"Huh?"
"She's always had a habit of bottling up her emotions and letting herself burst at the worst times!" Nagisa exclaimed, trying his best to be annoyed, even when concern was obvious in his tone. "I can't believe her..."
Kotoko couldn't think of anything to say to that, before suddenly asking, "Do you think she'll feel better if she gets cookies?"
Nagisa froze, before laughing at the words. Not repressed chuckling or mocking snickering, outright laughter. He smiled at Kotoko, relieved that she would bring up that option.
"Yes. Yes she would."
"They're-they're both missing, but my father has been m-missing for almost twenty y-years now," Mikan sighed bitterly, obviously pained by bringing up those memories. "My mother... she was a policewoman, a-and she never gave up o-on finding him alive. She was a-always throwing herself into the search... and every t-time she got reckless and got hurt, I had to patch h-her up. Even though... even though the other officers told her that t-there's no way he's alive, even if- even if the chances of s-someone being dead after being missing... for three days, I think? They're almost...almost always dead after three days."
Mikan shook her head, relaxing her grip on Fuyuhiko. Even if she was still clinging to him like a lifeline, she seemed... a bit more at peace, at least.
"Mikan, I'm sorry," Fuyuhiko's voice was uncharacteristically quiet, guilt evident in every word.
"Huh?" Mikan lifted her head from Fuyuhiko's shoulder to stare at him in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
"I'm the reason why Nanami was kidnapped," Fuyuhiko confessed. "And they were probably going after you."
"What...?" Mikan's eyes widened in shock, staring at Fuyuhiko in disbelief. "You... You what?"
"Another family wants to get something from us. I don't know what it is, but they went after 'my wife'," Fuyuhiko would have sighed and grumbled about Natsumi lying to everyone if the situation weren't so dire. As it was, he just continued explaining, unable to look Mikan in the eye. "And as long as you're with me, it might happen again. People trying to kidnap you or kill you to get to me. People torturing you for information. Other families going after your friends to break you."
Mikan's shock turned to horror and panic as Fuyuhiko finished, concluding his explanation with,
"If you don't want that... If you really want to live a normal life, you should stay away from me."
'Stay... away...?'
Fuyuhiko had accidentally struck at Mikan's greatest fear. A fear that had been born from a father that might have run away, a mother who grew reckless and frustrated and angry and distant, a best friend turned tormentor, a loving girlfriend turned into a despair-inducing monster, a fear born from a lifetime of being abandoned and betrayed.
"No, no, what did I do wrong!?" Mikan shrieked, her grip on Fuyuhiko tightening desperately. She pulled him even closer when faced with the threat of being separated. "D-don't leave! Don't!"
"I'm not going anywhere!" Fuyuhiko declared, before softening his voice. He had to be calm, or else they would both end up spiralling into hysteria. "I'm leaving the choice up to you."
"You just want to abandon me!" Mikan screamed accusingly, sobs erupting from her throat. "L-like Dad and Hiyoko-s-san a-and...!"
"That's not it!" Fuyuhiko sighed, his voice becoming mournful as he went on. "I love you. I really do. But as much as I would love to spend the rest of eternity with you, I can't stand the thought of you dying. Or even getting hurt," Fuyuhiko grimaced, remembering an almost-empty hospital room and a bullet wound much too close to the heart. "As long as you're safe and happy... as long as you keep living life with a smile on your face, even if I'm not around...I'll be fine with that."
"That's... that's basically the same thing..." Mikan wept despondently. Her eyes were facing the floor, but she wasn't focusing at all, lost in her grief. "I don't want... I don't want to lose you...! If I lost you, or anyone else, e-ever again...! T-that would be- That would be worse than death for me!"
"Mikan, breathe," Fuyuhiko reminded the nurse. He could feel her chest expand and contract, Mikan's sobs slowing down until they were just hiccups in the silence. After a few minutes of simply holding Mikan close, he spoke again.
"Mikan. I'm part of the Yakuza," Fuyuhiko said seriously. "I might be killed tomorrow, or the day after that, or the day after that. People die around me, day after day. You might be one of those people. That's just the world I live in. Are you..." A bit of doubt crept into his voice. "Are you sure you're okay with that?"
"Yes!" Mikan exclaimed immediately, her head snapping up to stare into Fuyuhiko's eye. "O-of course I'm sure about it! As long as I'm w-with you... I'll be happy."
"I mean... that's nice and all, but consider your safety, goddammit!" Fuyuhiko huffed, almost glaring at Mikan. 'Almost', since he couldn't actually muster up the anger and/or annoyance to do a proper glare. Then he frowned, averting his eyes guiltily. "I wouldn't be able to forgive myself if you got hurt. And as long as you're with me, you're in danger."
"Is there a way that I could be with you and still be safe?" Mikan asked, smiling slightly as she recalled the man in her arms snapping at her to split the damn bill in annoyance. "A compromise seems like a good idea."
"Hm, you could live with us," Fuyuhiko suggested, completely serious. He was thinking more of how to protect Mikan than the implications of his offer. "You'll constantly be surrounded by gunmen, the best swordswoman in all of Japan, Natsumi, Hajime, and me."
"Would you really let me do that...?" Mikan gaped in awe at Fuyuhiko's generosity.
"Um... yeah...?" Fuyuhiko stretched out the words, hurriedly hiding his face in Mikan's shoulder so she didn't see his blush. He finally realized the implications of, you know, inviting this woman to fucking live with him. "But maybe we should discuss better options first. Uh, just to be sure."
"Okay," Mikan quickly removed an arm from around Fuyuhiko's shoulders to wipe at her face, before returning it to its previous position, just as quickly.
"Maybe we could teach you how to fight," Fuyuhiko offered, imagining a battle-torn Mikan swinging around knives without a trace of fear on her face. He hurriedly tried to dismiss the thought, because he did not need to imagine things that made Mikan even more attractive.
(Key word: Tried. The idea would stick with him for a while, haunting his dreams and plaguing his imagination for days to come.)
"I don't think I would actually be able to hurt you..." Mikan muttered. "Not unless I drugged you or something."
"That's why you're getting training then," Fuyuhiko retorted, grinning. "So you can learn how to beat someone like me without drugs."
"Maybe after fifty years," While Mikan had meant the words completely seriously, Fuyuhiko thought it was a joke, laughing at her words. The joyful laugh managed to put a smile on her face as well, tears and worries completely forgotten just from being in each other's presence.
"I'm sorry, I-I swear... you'll all get a r-refund...!" Ibuki cried out, collapsing to her knees. Her tears didn't stop, even with the crowd yelling encouragement at her.
"HEY, IDIOT, WHAT'S YOUR ROOMMATE'S NAME?!" Hiyoko demanded from the crowd, forcing herself to be as loud as possible to be heard over the audience. Even with the people around her shushing her to prevent her from upsetting the musician, she didn't give a fuck. "MAYBE SOMEONE IN THE AUDIENCE KNOWS SOMETHING ABOUT IT, AND YOU DIDN'T CONSIDER IT BECAUSE YOU'RE TOO BUSY BLAMING YOURSELF FOR THE ENTIRE GODDAMN THING!"
"H-huh...?" Ibuki paused, staring in shock at the area the blonde's voice came from. Just before the mob could have lynched Hiyoko for being a bitch, Ibuki jumped to her feet, hope gleaming in her eyes. A genuine grin appeared on her face. "You... surprisingly enough, you're right! Thank you!"
"Her name is Nanami Chiaki!" Ibuki exclaimed. "She has a really famous let's play channel, or whatever it's called, and me and Mikan show up in her videos a lot!" Ibuki paused, before adding, "Mikan is the third of our roommate trio. We...We've all been together for what, six years now?"
"Ha..." Ibuki's smile turned a bit bittersweet, staring off to the distance as she remembered a daily life she might never be able to attain again. "We... we were always admiring how well Chiaki played her games... Seriously, she had a reaction speed better than a cheetah!" Ibuki laughed to herself, even though it was obvious she was only barely holding her tears back. "She was incredible."
"Er, was? Did I say 'was'? I meant 'is'! Haha, present tense!" Ibuki corrected as she grinned widely, her cheerful demeanor returning all of a sudden. It was hard to say how much of it was real or not. "Silly me! Anyways, sorry to waste your time with all this crying and junk. I'm gonna pack my bags and go, you should too! See ya!"
Ibuki rushed off the stage suddenly, leaving the crowd in an uproar.
'That fucking dumbass!' Hiyoko scowled, slamming her fist down on the armrest of her wheelchair. 'What the fucking hell does she think she's fucking pulling?!'
Hiyoko had to wait for the idiot to show herself, long after the audience had trickled out, leaving no one but Hiyoko, a few stragglers, and the staff in the hallways.
"What the hell were you thinking?!" Hiyoko glared at the musician, gritting her teeth together as she pointed at Mioda accusingly. "I asked you if you were okay doing this concert, and you said 'oh, I'll be fine! Don't worry about me!' You fucking liar!"
"I thought I was fine!" Mioda countered defensively, before the energy bled out of her system. Her shoulders slumped as she stared at the floor, a small frown on her face. "I...I thought that maybe singing might help."
"So much for that," Hiyoko rolled her eyes dismissively. "Come on, we're leaving."
"Ah, you probably want to go home-"
"Nope, we're getting ice cream," Hiyoko stated. "I'm paying, and I will literally punch your guts out if you say otherwise."
"Huh...? Seriously?" Mioda stared at the blonde in stunned shock.
"Don't be so fucking surprised!" Hiyoko retorted automatically. "Argh, look, do you want free comfort ice cream or not?!"
"Of course I do!" Mioda exclaimed with a grin.
"I thought so," Hiyoko smirked, secretly glad that Mioda was ever-so-slightly back to normal.
"Heh, you're a surprisingly good person," Ibuki mumbled to herself as she went to push Hiyoko's wheelchair.
"Did you say something just now?"
"Nothing."
Shibakuzo kept staring at the screen, even long after the concert had ended. The musician's words stuck with her, bringing back memories of the basement the former Simon head had shown her.
Her stomach twisted with guilt at the recollection, not for the first time. Shibakuzo remembered how disgusted she felt, seeing the woman bound up and gagged, not with the surroundings or the hostage before her, but with how Shibakuzo was so close to her, and how she could have saved her, but didn't.
'I wonder... if that woman had friends and family like that,' Shibakuzo sighed to herself. 'People who miss her dearly and blame themselves and want her back safely...'
Shibakuzo grimaced, the thought summoning another stab of guilt.
'I could have... I could have ended their pain just then,' Shibakuzo realized. 'I could have freed her and returned her to her family...! I...'
Stupid, sickening, spineless... Shibakuzo's list of insults and put-downs grew longer and longer the more she dwelt on the topic, but... what was the point of calling herself names? It... it just made her feel worse, and it didn't help anyone.
'It's obvious what I have to do,' Shibakuzo smiled slightly, the answer perfectly clear to her in that moment. If she wanted to help that woman, her family, and stop feeling so guilty... then it was unmistakable.
She had to do the right thing.
...even if she had no idea how to do that.
The two had laid their futons side-by-side, close enough to touch as they tried to get some sleep.
But Mikan had a question on her mind, and no matter how much she tried to convince herself to forget it and let Fuyuhiko sleep, she couldn't get the idea out of her head.
"Um... Fuyuhiko-kun... Are you awake?" Mikan asked cautiously, turning towards him.
"Yeah," Fuyuhiko gave up on trying to count sheep and faced Mikan. He figured that talking to her might be a better remedy for insomnia than counting sheep. "Do you need me to show you to the kitchen or something?"
"No... but, uh, do you think that..." Mikan sighed, her voice becoming much more morose as she asked the question. "Do you think that Chiaki-san is still alive?"
"Of course," Fuyuhiko said casually. "What kind of idiot kills the hostage before negotiations even start?"
Mikan nodded, making a small sound of affirmation.
"She'll be fine," Fuyuhiko stated. "Trust me."
Mikan smiled, beaming in the dark room.
Her worries, her fears, her insecurities... she could trust Fuyuhiko with them. She could always depend on him. And for once, Mikan knew that the relationship went both ways. He depended on her to restrain his temper and trust with his worries. They trusted each other, depended on each other, loved...
Well... the love part might have been a lie.
Mikan... she wasn't sure if she could call it love, really. Wasn't it just an obsession?
She wanted Fuyuhiko to stay with her at all costs, even if she had to commit inexcusable crimes for that to happen. Mikan wanted him to love her, to forgive anything that she did, to continue wanting her around. She wanted to be special to him, since apparently, being his friend wasn't good enough. To make him to love her above all others.
But that was how Mikan felt towards Enoshima.
The same Enoshima that manipulated her and took advantage of her and tricked her and lied and-
Mikan knew that Fuyuhiko would never do that. She trusted him. She believed in him, but...
That meant Mikan was the one responsible for those feelings. She was completely and utterly obsessed with the idea. If she couldn't hide those impure feelings, it would poison everything. Their friendship would be completely shattered.
She couldn't have that. No, no, that would be worse than death, that would be worse than everyone around her dropping dead! Mikan couldn't lose anyone else! Never again, never, ever again!
"Mikan?" Fuyuhiko stared at her in concern, his voice cutting through her hysteric thoughts. "Are you okay?"
"I...yes," Mikan nodded, her smile returning. Fuyuhiko was amazing. He could calm her down in an instant, just by being there.
And that was why she couldn't afford to lose him.
"You know, this is technically a birthday present," Ibuki noted as she licked her ice cream.
"No it's not," Hiyoko countered in an instant. "Don't think I didn't notice Mikan and Nanami handing you presents a month ago."
"Wow, you're more observant than I thought!" Ibuki exclaimed with a grin. "I would have thought for sure that you would have missed that!"
"What the hell is that supposed to mean?!"
"It means that you surprised me with your good qualities!" Ibuki winked at the blonde, lifting a finger off her ice cream cone to point at the blonde.
"E-er, of course you were surprised!" Hiyoko puffed out her chest with pride, even though she was turning red, even in the heated food court. "I'm really amazing!"
"Yeah, yeah, you really are!" Ibuki agreed, earning an even deeper blush from the ex-dancer.
"Heh, since I'm feeling generous, I'll buy you anything you want on the way home!" Hiyoko declared, earning a cheer from Ibuki.
'She really was nicer than I gave her credit for...' Ibuki frowned, pausing.
"What the hell's up with you? Finish your damn ice cream already, I'm getting impatient."
'Or maybe not.'
"Wowsers, you're like one of those old ladies in line who can't wait for five seconds before yelling at the staff."
"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN, DAMMIT?!"
"Nothing, nothing."
"LIES!"
When Fuyuhiko woke up, he was alone.
The only sign that Mikan had ever been there was the bag near the wall. She had already cleaned up the futon she used, and she was probably just in the washroom or eating breakfast or something.
With a yawn, he stood up, stretching.
"Wait-!" Out of the corner of his eye, Fuyuhiko spotted something. Without a moment of hesitation, he rushed towards Mikan's bag, grabbing the envelope resting on top of it.
His eye widened with horror as he ripped open the manila envelope. Black-and-white pictures spilled onto the floor, showing two women, tied up in some basement somewhere. One of the pictures was a close-up on Mikan's unconscious face, a gag stuffed into her mouth. Large words were scrawled across the length of the image;
'GOT THE RIGHT ONE THIS TIME'
I take back every single ounce of enthusiasm I had. School isn't worthy of a 'yay'.
Oh well, onto the fun fact! Shibakuzo is actually a huge fan of Chiaki's channel. Though she can't help but get pissed off when Chiaki chooses all the wrong options for dating sims. Chiaki also never shows her face or says her name in videos other than guest star videos, and Shibakuzo absolutely despises guest star videos. She avoids that stuff like the plague, which is how she doesn't realize that Chiaki is technically connected to Fuyuhiko.