Chapter 36: Answers
Once again Avaryss made her way into the Valley of the Dark Lords; once again she sought out the Tomb of Ajunta Pall.
This time, she suspected, the visit would not end so…positively.
Her memories of the last time she had been here remained her rush through the darkness, her fight with the Acolytes that had tried to destroy Fehl and…what had happened after…between her and the Academy's top student.
Her eyes narrowed, the memory should have been pleasant, that brief period of happiness, sweet surrender. She had given up the last of her innocence and inhibitions here. Fehl had made her into a new woman. Yet now, his death, and her injuries had robbed her of any joy that those memories might have brought. They haunted her now, what had once felt liberating now felt like more chains wrapped around her, threatening to drag her down into both agony and death.
Yet, pain could be a source of great power, if one knew how to wield it.
She tried to draw on that pain, those darker impulses, guilt, rage, sorrow, they should have nourished her, helped her tear through the malaise that Inquisitor Zyn's questioning had left her in. The strange sense of calm that blocked her from embracing the dark side in all its glory remained.
She barely felt anything, her emotions seemed…like they hardly worked anymore…she had been left numb, and numbness was not good for one who chose to follow the ways of the Sith
She could sense the darkness; it remained within her, pulsing, cold, and hungry, if she could only touch it…if only for a moment, she thought that she might be able to save herself. The dark side…it seemed stronger now, perhaps the loss of Fehl, the pain of being denied that life, had enhanced her connection, all she needed to do was reclaim it, take it up again. Had she been able to do that, she felt that nothing would stop her, her powers would double, perhaps even triple.
But I can't touch it; she thought glumly, the sense of not being able to fully connect with my emotions remains. I feel anger, but it is muted, there is not enough there to build into rage, not enough to cleanse myself of this…sickness.
Only echoes of her former power remained, but perhaps those echoes would be enough, enough to prove herself worthy…
…Enough to earn a chance to parley with the prophet.
Taya thought it was worth a shot. Avaryss hated to admit it, but she now found herself in Taya's debt, the other girl could have killed her, and earned much prestige for doing so, especially, considering how stupidly Avaryss had acted in trying to slay her.
You should have fought, the dark voice within growled, so what if you might have lost, better than simple surrender, better than now owing your life to another! There was no honor in surrender!
Of course, honor was a fool's prize; glory belonged only to the living!
Darth Revan had said those words, and they remained true, even after three centuries.
She would not toss away her life foolishly
At the time she had thought the other girl a fool, why risk yourself by sparing an enemy. Taya it seemed had a motivation beyond simply being her friend, a motivation that had existed before they had even met.
Avaryss was still not sure if she believed it, but Taya certainly did, and that was what mattered.
IOI
After escorting her back to medical, Taya had left her alone, promising to tell her friend everything later that night. After being left alone, Avaryss confronted the medical droids trying to find out what had happened to her.
She explained to them what was wrong, how her emotions seemed stunted, and with them, her connection to the Force.
The droids conversed quickly, in a series of beeps and whistles, perhaps searching their personal databases for any clue of what might be wrong with their patient.
When they did finally answer, their solution did little to assure her.
They concluded that she was suffering something they referred to as Force burn. They had studied the effect before in battle ragers, soldiers that enjoyed losing themselves in the suffering of others.
"You claim to have experienced Acolyte Fehl's final moments?" the first droid said.
"I did," Avaryss said suppressing a shudder, her respirator seeming far louder here than it had in the hall.
"We have encountered this effect before, mistress," the second droid added, "Plus, Several Sith medical texts in our databanks warn against forming such a connection."
"Following someone into death is not advised. The sudden loss of that connection can cause damage to the one left behind."
Avaryss nodded grimly.
"Is it permanent?"
"The texts we have accessed suggest that it is not," the first droid said, "The introduction of the Sith poisons we informed you of earlier have however changed the variables, making a full diagnosis difficult."
"Hard to say," the third droid chimed in.
Avaryss' hands curled into fists. She tried to reach out. She tried to turn her worry into fear, and from there turn that fear into anger and hate. Surely she was stronger than some series of coincidence.
Surely she would not lose everything by such a matter of happenstance.
She tried to force away the numbness, burn it away and find her power again, but nothing happened.
She remained cut off, the darkside remained distant.
"Do you have any suggested remedy?" she asked the droids.
"Force burn can only heal with time," the first droid said.
"Once the poisons have burned themselves out of your system, your connection to the Force should return." The second added.
"Should?" she said, looking at the spindly things, wishing she still had the will and strength to crush them.
"Matters of the Force are not our domain, mistress," the third droid said, "Such matters are best left to masters such as yourself."
"Perhaps one of the overseers could tell you more. It may be a good idea to consult them."
Avaryss eyes narrowed.
She would sooner chew broken glass.
She could not hide this forever, but for now it would be smarter not to tell anyone. If Tremel or Harkun realized the extent of her weakness, she would likely not remain alive for very long. One of their favorites would come for her, and that would be the end.
She had no choice, she realized.
I will have to find a solution on my own. Taya offered to help, but…
She was still not sure what kind of game the blonde acolyte was playing. Her aid might end up being as lethal as letting an enemy know of her weakness.
She needed to proceed with caution.
As she sat there, listening to the medical droids debate possible treatment options, they were interrupted by two Sith troopers.
Overseer Tremel wished to speak with her and from the tone the soldier used, Avaryss did not expect that it would be a pleasant conversation.
She stood and adjusted her cloak; the loudness of the respirator seemed to grow, as she made her way down the hall.
Be confident, she thought, let Tremel see only disdain, bordering on arrogance.
Do not give a clue of how bad a way you are in.
Be strong or be dead, that is your only option.
She needed to be strong, or at the very least project an image of strength.
Tremel would not be easy to fool.
Hopefully the Force was still with her.
She might not be able to touch it, but it was still there.
She would need its aid today.
Be strong…she thought.
…or be dead.
IOI
After her meeting, Avaryss returned to her quarters, both to meditate, and to plan her next move. The overseer had released her from any of her academy obligations for that day, but such an action was not a reward, Avaryss understood that.
What had happened with Fehl, how it had ended, it was no victory for her. She could not even claim it as a victory. He had died, and she had come out looking like a lowly murderer whose cowardice had been on display to all, especially considering how easily she had been caught.
Having to be saved by another was yet another mark against her. Her mysterious patron may have saved her life, but he had not saved her position.
Any and all prestige she had gained in the last few months was now gone. She would be allowed to continue her training, but now, she was back to square one. She was now the lowest of the low in the eyes of every master on Korriban.
It was not a good place to be.
Tremel had made it clear that no master would offer her any guidance or lessons, she could attend the group courses, but that was it.
As far as he, and many of the other masters here were concerned, she was responsible for Fehl's death. Even if she had not poisoned him; she had led him astray, he would never have found himself in such a weak place had they not been…involved.
She had ruined him, and in doing so, had ruined herself as well.
The masters would waste none of their time on her, Tremel had promised, if she wished to proceed beyond where she was now, she would have to prove to them that she was worthy of it. He advised her to use anything that she was feeling to nourish her power, any shame or guilt would be useful in regaining her former position, or at very least allow her to survive.
She told him nothing about her injury, the sickness that currently blocked her abilities.
She would get no help from him. If she was to recover, she would have to do so herself.
So, she sat in her quarters and meditated, she also took the time to gauge just how complete the loss of her powers was. For over an hour she sat on the floor of her chambers with a small water glass, trying to move it using the Force. After that first hour, all she had been able to accomplish was to make the glass rock back and forth, hardly the response expected of a second level acolyte.
She shook her head.
This was not good at all; she had not been this helpless since her first few troubled weeks in the Academy on Fury 9. Her sword skills remained, but without the Force to aid them, they were far slower than what was expected of an acolyte. Even the lowest student here stood more than a good chance of defeating her now.
She back handed the glass, sending it flying away. Putting it out of her mind, she tried to drop into a state of deep meditation, hopefully, with no distractions she would be able to touch the dark side enough to start burning away this illness. All she needed was a few moments. All she needed was to be able to touch the darkness for a few moments.
The loudness of the respirator remained a distraction; she tried to tune it out, but to no avail.
The path to her powers remained blocked, either by the Force burn she had suffered, or the chemicals she had been overdosed with, either one of them could have been the answer, and both led to the same unfortunate destination.
As of this moment, she was crippled, vulnerable. As soon as her peers realized what was going on, she was in trouble; she was a sitting duck, just waiting to be plucked.
The thought sent a chill down her spine.
Her previous successes would only shield her so long. She doubted that her patron would step forward again if she got in trouble. If anything, a Darth would sit back and see if anyone was strong enough to replace her. If anyone learned who the dark lord, was, they might approach him, offer to slay her as proof of their own prowess. She would need to find an answer to this problem quickly, the longer she waited, and the larger the target on her back would grow. She would have to search the archives, or the Valley of the Dark Lords. Hopefully, she would find an answer there. She…
There was a knock on her door, she tried to reach out with the Force and see who it was, but even that ability proved too much for her damaged mind.
"It is Taya, Avy," she heard through the door.
"Let me in."
She reached out with her powers, trying to trigger the lock, it should have been an easy thing for someone as gifted as her, but like everything else, it remained a lost cause.
She sighed, stood and opened the door. Taya rushed in, several books and scrolls in her arms. She just managed to make it in, before dropping the huge pile of papers on the floor.
"I see you came prepared," Avaryss said dryly.
"I tried to find everything I could in the library, she answered, "The record keeper wasn't happy, but she did at least let me take some things."
Taya gave her an evaluating look.
"Has there been any change?" she asked, "Are your powers coming back?"
Avaryss did not dignify that with an answer.
She had showed the other girl enough weakness.
She refused to show her anything further.
She glared at her old ally.
"Why are you helping me?" she demanded.
Taya smiled.
"You don't trust me, Avy, after everything we've been through?"
"I don't trust a Sith who would offer something for nothing. You have no reason to aid me. In fact, you should have killed me in the hallway, you had plenty of opportunity."
She drew closer to the blonde, their eyes meeting.
"Why are you helping me, Tay? What is in it for you?"
The blonde girl giggled.
"A place at the high table," she responded, "A Darth's respect and the chance to stand higher than anyone in my family has ever stood before."
Avaryss' eyes narrowed.
"Explain?" she demanded.
Taya did just that.
"I know how you look at me Avy, how you and Nass both look at me. You think me soft hearted and weak.
Avaryss did not deny that.
She saw no reason to lie.
"You were not only one who questioned my commitment. When I first arrived here on Korriban, I was left to train with Overseer Harkun. He saw me as nothing, and looked for any excuse to remove me."
"I'm guessing he did not find it," Avaryss said dryly.
"Not for lack of trying," Taya said with a shrug, "He wanted me dead, I think, but my family's wealth and position on Dromund Kaas was a problem. If he executed me, he would have to answer to those who owe my family. In the end he decided that a death in the tombs would be better. He sent me to the Tomb of Ajunta Pall, to meet with the hermit that lives there, a man known as Spindrall."
Avaryss blinked.
"There are people living in the tomb of Ajunta Pall?"
"Spindrall, and his followers, they live in the deepest level of the tomb, close to where the dark lord was laid rest.
Taya smirked.
"I'm surprised you and Fehl did not encounter any of them during your…interlude in the tomb. I'm guessing Spindrall must not have seen either of you as a threat."
The thought gave Avaryss pause.
She did not like the idea that someone had been spying on her and Fehl while they had been in the tomb, of course, considering how much death and destruction had preceded their little….interlude, a person would have had to have been a fool to try and face them...
She sighed.
What did it matter now, Fehl was dead, and if she did not do something, she might just end up joining him.
"Who is this Spindrall, and what does he have to do with you helping me?"
"I was getting to that, Spindrall is…well…some think he is just a madman, but more than a few of the lords seem to think him as something of a prophet. He is respected among the pyramid of knowledge. If he says you are unworthy of becoming Sith, most lords will see that as all the proof they need to accept a death order. Harkun sent me into the tomb, expecting me either to not to come out, or emerge with death mark against me."
Taya shivered.
"It was a tough fight, probably the toughest I'd known up to that point. Spindrall does not share his wisdom willingly; he demands blood as proof of a person's worthiness. I slew four of his followers before he would even consent to talking with me."
The blonde girl sighed.
"My willingness to kill bought me a pass from him, but that did not mean that he thought me lord material."
"What did he say?" Avaryss asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
"He said that I would never lead armies on my own, that my talents were more suited to serve than rule, but he also advised that I be mindful, that I was on the right path, that one day soon I would encounter a fellow acolyte that would rise higher and faster than I ever could hope too."
Taya grinned.
"Even the greatest lord needs lower lords to serve them. The rewards are as good and the risk far less."
What does this have to do with me?" Avaryss demanded.
"Everything as it turns out, do you remember when we attacked by those shadow wasps on Butcher's Clearing?"
"Of course," she said wrinkling her nose, "I still have nightmares about the things."
Taya nodded.
"Well, I'm sure you remember what a mess I was after we survived that."
"You were totally out of it."
"Not totally," Taya added, "I was lost in the Force. The wasps' sting offered me visions. The same vision actually, over and over again. I found myself standing under a violet sky on balcony of a high tower, below me was a city, its streets filled with people, people chanting a name."
Her expression turned dreamy.
"I was not alone; my family was there, them and several others. As I looked down, I saw only the trappings of wealth and prestige, my mother and father were equally as well adorned. We stood as advisers and hands to a powerful dark lord, a dark lord whose name the people below were chanting.
Taya giggled excitedly.
"That dark lord had your face, Avy. It was your name that I was hearing. Destiny has marked you."
The blonde stepped away, and dropped to one knee.
"I pledge myself to your service, Avy," she said, "You are the one who will lead my family to glory."
Avaryss blinked.
This…this Taya…she was insane.
She had to be.
"It could have just been a fever dream?" she said.
"I don't think so," Taya said, "It felt real."
"Is this why you have been helping me?" Avaryss asked, "The voice lessons, and everything else?"
"It is," Taya admitted, bowing her head in submission, "I may be a bit of a soft touch, but I'm still Sith."
Her eyes flashed hungrily.
"I'm in this for myself. I seek power for myself without fear or reservation. You are my path to power, Avy. I'll do whatever I can to help you achieve your goals."
Her friend's admission shocked her, had she heard this a month ago, she might have chosen a different path. She might not have so easily accepted Fehl's offer to become his wife.
This does not change your condition, the dark voice within, reminded her. You are still broken.
Taya needed to understand that.
"I'm in no condition to lead anything or anyone, Tay?" she reminded the other girl, "I'll be lucky to survive the next few days."
"I'll take my chances," the other girl said, "I've seen you survive being gutted by a Wookie. You defeated a Jedi Padawan almost single handedly. You seduced and ensnared the top student on Korriban. There is far more to you than meets the eye, Avy. You've only just started to find your place."
The blonde was practically beaming now.
"My father always said that you need to recognize a good gamble when you find one. You are a good gamble Avy. You are too strong to let what happened with Fehl beat you. I believe in my visions. You will lead me to glory.
She bowed her head again.
"I serve you from now on."
Avaryss sighed, her respirator skipped a breath; a strange wheeze broke the silence.
She needed to decide what she was going to do here.
Taya could be useful, she did not deny that. Her family had both wealth and contacts, contacts that a young Sith on the rise might need. Plus, she would be an excellent shield to hide behind until Avaryss was able to regain her full powers.
"What does Nass think of this Taya?" she asked, "Does she agree with your choice?"
Taya looked up, her face twisting into a pout.
"I'm not Nass' servant or slave," she said, "Besides; she has other things on her mind right now. Since Fehl has been gone, she has been making a lot of moves. She is trying to take his place, I think."
Taya sneered.
"She has abandoned me to pursue her own ambitions. If you desire it, I will help you kill her. It might go a long way in rebuilding your station here."
Avaryss was shocked.
She managed a laugh.
"Okay," she said, "Who are you and what have you done with Taya?"
The blonde giggled.
"After the way she bossed us around back in the Clearing, you think that I would lose any sleep if she had a…accident. Not really, especially now, when we need to start building you up again."
Avaryss considered that. Could they do it?
Could they get rid of Nass?
"Peace, Taya," she said, "If it is necessary for us to remove Nass, I want to be at full strength. She is no push over, as we both well know."
The blonde nodded.
"As you say," she said, "I will bow to your command."
Avaryss suppressed a sigh.
She was not sure believed this.
Was this all some game? Perhaps Nass had put Tay up to this. If sounded like some strategy she might try.
No, she felt no deception in her friend, not that she completely trusted those senses for the moment.
She would need to be careful, just in case.
She looked down at her kneeling friend, her new servant; she did not completely trust this, but…
She needed help, that much was certain.
This new arrangement might serve very well.
"You are mine to command?" she asked.
"Of course, Avy, whatever you need. I can do."
"Good, then you will start by going through these texts; find out everything you can on Force burn, and its long term effects."
"Of course," the blonde said, "Do you need anything else of me?"
"No, you have given me a lead, which is enough for now."
Taya gave her an arched look.
"What sort of lead."
"This Spindrall, you trust his visions."
"They seemed to have pointed me in the right direction."
Avaryss nodded.
"I shall seek him out tomorrow then. See if he has any advice to offer, perhaps he may even know a solution to my problem."
Taya gave her a worried look.
"It would be tough fight for you, reaching the tomb in your condition. Would you like me to accompany you?"
Avaryss shook her head no.
"I doubt this hermit would be willing to offer me anything if I brought help."
Yes, Avaryss thought.
This felt right to her.
Perhaps the dark side was testing her, as it had done back on Fury 9. Perhaps she was expected to make this journey on her own, with only her limited powers to protect her.
Taya was frowning.
"If you seek Spindrall, go expecting a fight. As I said, he does not offer up his wisdom freely."
Avaryss nodded.
She would be disappointed if he did.
The dark side was about overcoming your limitations not giving in to them. If she succeeded, she may have her answers, if she failed, she would be dead and best forgotten.
"I will leave in the morning," she informed her new servant.
"As you say," Taya said bowing her head.
"Good luck, Avy."
IOI
Avaryss sighed as the Tomb of Ajunta Pall finally came into view. Her combat suit was torn in several places, armor plates were sticking out and all sported new gashes.
A rogue tukata had surprised her on her journey. The Sith Hound had tried to make her a meal, and it was only through her skill and luck that she had survived.
The beast now lay rotting under the dim sun, yet she felt no elation for this victory.
Her heart pounded from the adrenalin of having survived such an attack, but still…the sense of detachment remained. It felt as if all her emotions were pinned behind a dam, and was unable to be experienced.
Perhaps that was the case, perhaps it was not, maybe this Spindrall would know, or maybe he won't.
It doesn't matter. I've come too far to back out now.
Avaryss began climbing the steps of Ajunta Pall's tomb, going back down into the dark.
She shivered with anticipation.
Perhaps the answers she thought would be here. One thing was certain however, the tomb was not empty, and she could sense the flicker of presences within.
It is time to find them, she thought.
Spindrall awaits.