A Troubled Heart
Avalon swung her and Brooklyn's encased hands as they walked towards the small café to grab a bite to eat. Avalon glanced at Brooklyn for what seemed to be the millionth time that day. He had been so—distant the whole time she had been with him. His smile wasn't…natural…it seemed forced and the usual calm and lovingness in his eyes weren't there—only pain…Avalon didn't know how to go about asking him what was wrong. He didn't even seem to be paying attention at all. She was worried about him, what if he was sick and didn't want to say anything?
Avalon bit her bottom lip before setting it into a frown, creasing her forehead.
"Brooklyn?"
"Hmm…"
Avalon hesitated, Brooklyn sensed the hesitation in her voice, "Go on Avalon" He gently persisted. Avalon glanced at him, her eyes showing worry.
"Brooklyn…you're not sick are you?" She asked as they stopped outside the café. Brooklyn stared at Avalon for a while before a small smile came upon his lips…a natural one.
"No, no Avalon, I'm not sick."
"Oh…" Avalon spoke, a bit disappointed—not because he wasn't sick, she was glad that he wasn't sick, but because she didn't figure out what was wrong. She felt a slightly cold finger lift her chin up. Brooklyn stared at her intensely. Avalon felt as if he was absorbing her into him, taking in every detail. Avalon couldn't help but blush, he never looked at her so intensely as this in the time she had known him.
"Avalon…" He spoke above a whisper.
"Yes…" Avalon responded, losing her voice in the process.
"I love you, you know that right?"
Avalon nodded her head. Brooklyn gave her another smile before releasing his finger from under her chin and wrapping an arm around her shoulders, "Come on Avalon, let's get something to eat…"
Avalon stared up at Brooklyn as he gently steered her inside. Her insides were squirming—she didn't like that feeling, she didn't like it at all.
Kai lay on his bed, his hands behind his head, staring at the white ceiling. His eyes held a glazed look. This was what he wanted; he had stepped back, watching from the sidelines. Now, he had an opportunity…but…why did he feel so disappointed?
It's because you still lost… he responded in his mind. You still lost…
Kai closed his eyes, placing a hand over them.
Earlier…
"What are you up to Kingston?" Kai growled, clenching his fists at his sides. He had learned from Renée that Brooklyn was going to tear Avalon into two—emotionally—and he wasn't going to let that happen, even if he hated the guy he couldn't let him hurt her, anyone but her.
Brooklyn sighed, his back towards him, hands in his pocket, "Renée told you?" His voice was weak. Kai nodded but Brooklyn didn't see it.
"I have no choice Kai…"
"Yes you do! She needs you…" Even if it hurt Kai to say it, he had to. Deep down he knew that without Brooklyn, Avalon would have shattered a long time ago—he was her comfort, something Kai could never be.
Brooklyn let out a dry chuckle, shaking his head, "No, not anymore…what she will need is you. I'll hurt Kai and you'll have to be the shoulder she can cry on." He glanced at the horizon beyond the gates, "Seems…we're going to switch roles…funny…"
"I don't see anything funny about this." Kai growled, irritation evident on his face.
Brooklyn continued as if he hadn't heard him, "I never wanted to hurt her. Everything I did, I did to ensure her happiness. I told myself that I would never be the one to make her cry…to crush her spirit. But here I am, about to do just that…hypocrite, that's what I am…"
Kai glared at the teen in front of him, "You're a pathetic excuse for a half-breed! If you don't want to be a hypocrite then don't go through with it."
Brooklyn closed his eyes, "I told you…I have no choice. This is for the better. I don't want to do it, I really don't…but what choice do I have? My mother…she's weak, if I abandon her God only knows what'll happen. Besides, I promised my father that I'd make her my priority…even if I love Avalon as much as I do, I can't go back on my word Kai…besides…"
Brooklyn glanced over his shoulder, "This is what you wanted all along right? A chance to prove your worth—that you were capable of caring for her, right? Here, after today, she'll be all yours…there will be no rival for her any longer. I surrender."
Brooklyn began to walk off.
"She loves you too you know..." Kai stated, another stab at his heat for admitting what he had denied. Brooklyn took a deep breath, "I know…that's why it pains me even more…" He whispered, "But she'll move on, she'll have you." He spoke and continued on his way.
Kai stared at his back, anger boiling within him. He was right, this was what he had wanted, he wanted Avalon all to himself…but now that he got it…he despised it…
"I lost…" He voiced aloud, "he didn't even put up a fight…he just handed her over to me…I lost…"
Kai stood up and glanced at the clock: 6:45pm. He ran a hand through his hair before he headed towards his window, opening it and leaping out of it.
"I…I don't understand…" Avalon whispered, the pain in her chest tightening. Brooklyn kept his back towards her. They had wandered towards the park and were currently standing on the small, stone bridge over the little creek.
"We can't be together anymore Avalon." Brooklyn repeated once more, closing his eyes.
"Why?" Avalon whispered, clenching her hands into tight fists at her sides. The male in front of her turned away, his bangs shadowing his eyes, hiding the pain, "Because…it's for the best…"
"What do you mean?! Did I do something wrong?" She asked, trying to fight the tears. Brooklyn stared at her, his eyes full of emotion. He reached a hand towards her but slowly brought it down, "No, you didn't do anything wrong Avalon…it's…it's complicated."
"How complicated?!" She asked, blinking the tears back. Brooklyn watched her struggle, wanting to badly go over to her and tell her that everything was going to be alright, but he couldn't because it would be that much harder to let go.
"I'm…I'm leaving Avalon…"
"You're…leaving?" She asked, her eyes going dull. Brooklyn nodded his head solemnly, "Yes…leaving."
"For how long?"
"…Forever…"
Brooklyn watched as it registered, her eyes widening, before slumping into a defeated stare.
"Forever…" She repeated, more to herself. Brooklyn nodded. Her eyes saddened, "You're not coming back…why?"
Brooklyn leaned on the bridge, staring at the creek, "Because…if I do…it'll just start all over again."
"What will start over?"
"The pain…neither one of us wanted to surrender…but you were hurting, and I couldn't stand it. It hurts me to let go, to walk away…but one of us had to. He wouldn't do it, he's too stubborn. So I had to, because unlike him, I want you to always be happy. And this is the only way to ensure it…no more fighting…"
Avalon furrowed her brows, confused on what he was telling her. What fight? She got hurt? When?
"But Brooklyn…" She whined, reaching a hand towards him, as she took a step, "I don't want you to go. Stay here, please?"
Brooklyn clenched his fist, trying to ignore her plea, "Avalon…I…I can't."
Avalon dropped her hand in defeat, "Will you at least visit?" She asked, a tone of hopefulness in it.
Brooklyn's heart twisted in pain, knowing he had to crush it, "…No…I won't…I won't ever come back. This is the last time you'll see me…"
It felt as if time had stopped, "W-what? No…no!"
The tears finally started to spill, Brooklyn clenched his eyes shut, gritting his teeth to fight the urge to comfort her.
"It has to be this way Avalon. This is the only way."
She was openly crying now, her face in her hands. Brooklyn looked up, and he knew he shouldn't have, because once he saw her weak form he was immediately at her side, holding her to him, fighting his own tears from spilling.
"Don't go…" She sobbed into his shirt.
"I have to Avalon…I have to…I want you to be happy."
"You going away won't make me happy!" She screamed into his shirt. Brooklyn held her tighter, "You'll be okay Avalon, I promise…you'll be okay."
"No I won't! You're not even coming back!"
Brooklyn closed his eyes, "I told you, I'm done fighting…if I come back Avalon, it'll start all over. I love you too much, so much that I'd do anything for you. This is why I can't come back. You'll move on, and I will too. If I come back Avalon and I see you, I'll abandon everything, every resolve I had just to be with you…and I can't afford that…knowing that you'll be in pain…torn between two—stuck in the middle not knowing what to do. So I'll choose for you Avalon, when I leave, you only have one option left…and that's how it should be…"
Avalon continued crying, absorbing the words he spoke, but not understanding the deeper meaning in them. "I love you Brooklyn, don't go…please…don't go…"
"I love you too Avalon. No matter what happens, no matter whom I'll end up with, you'll always be the yearning in my heart. You'll always be the only one for me. No one can ever compare to you, they're all second rate. You'll always matter to me. I'll never stop thinking about you, I'll never forget you…Never. That's how much you mean to mean—I love you too much, too much for both our own goods. But since I love you so much, I'm capable of letting go, letting you have your own happiness. The way it should be. I should have done this long ago…but I wasn't strong enough, I am now…you'll be okay Avalon. Everything will be okay, I promise you. You'll hurt, I know you will…but at the end of all the pain, you'll see…you'll be…okay…I promise you."
Avalon held onto him tighter, not wanting to ever let go…
"Avalon…" Kai spoke as he entered her bedroom, finding her sitting in front of her dresser mirror, combing her hair. She turned to him, a smile on her face. But he knew better, she was hurting, he could see it in her eyes.
"Hi Kai, what's up?" She asked, trying to start the conversation. Kai walked towards her, staring intently at her.
Avalon couldn't return the gaze so she turned away and went back to combing her hair. Kai watched her, noticing the dullness in her usually bright faded-pink orbs. Her skin seemed as if death had grazed it. Her shoulders were slumped in defeat.
Kai sat behind her on her bed, watching her.
Avalon ignored Kai—or at least tried to. She just wanted to focus on combing her hair. She didn't want to think about anything. She didn't want to think about school, she didn't want to think about Kai staring at her and she didn't want to think about…
Kai noticed her body tensed, he smelt the salt in the air and knew she was fighting the will to cry.
Kai sighed, "Avalon…" he tried again. He received no response. He was tempted to leave if she was going to be so stubborn, but another part of him told him to stay, told him to stick with it, that if he left she would break and she'd have no one to be there when it happened. He couldn't let her suffer on her own.
So he sat rooted on her bed, watching her silently struggle, watching her fight her internal battle, watching as she slowly weakened.
He sighed once more, closing his eyes before he opened them once more, "Avalon…it's alright…cry."
Avalon turned sharply towards him, her eyes wide with shock, "I-I-I don't…" But she didn't get far as her voice broke. She pursed her lips, closing her eyes to hold the tears back.
Kai watched silently as she struggled even more.
"I'm here Avalon…let it out."
Avalon shook her head. Kai sighed in aggravation. He never understood how Brooklyn did it, how he had so much patience. He was now really tempted to let her suffer. Here he was, giving up his time to comfort her, but there she was, being a stubborn mule about it!
Avalon turned away and took a deep breath, calming herself. "I'm…I'm fine Kai, you don't have to worry…I'll be alright."
Kai stayed still for a while before standing up abruptly and striding towards the window and disappearing in a flash.
Avalon felt a piece of her break as he left. She wanted him to leave, but another part of her wanted him to stay, wanted him to tell her no…but it was Kai, he would never be the kind of guy her other part wanted him to be…that other part…that other part could only be played by…
Avalon stood up, holding herself as the tears fell. They were all leaving…and Brooklyn was the first to go…
Avalon gasped and tensed slightly as she felt hands on her shoulders.
"Just let it out Avalon…stop trying to hold it in…just cry…" Kai's soft voice floated in her ears, breaking her resolve to stay strong. She cried, quietly, her back towards him. Kai stayed where he was, his hands on her shoulders, his forehead on top of her head, inhaling her scent.
"He won't…he won't come back…" She sobbed. She knew she was being a baby, but it hurt, it hurt her so much.
"I know…and he's an idiot for it. He's too selfless for his own good. Sometimes, he needs to be selfish…there's nothing wrong with it." Kai growled out, hating Brooklyn for causing her pain. He tried to prevent it, but Brooklyn was so adamant that this was the right choice. Look where it ended up, in tears!
Kai felt Avalon shift to face him. He stared at her tear-stained face.
"And…And you—you w-won't come back either!" The tears fell even more a she made her confession. Kai felt his heart drop. He pursed his lips before bringing a hand towards her face and brushing a strand of hair behind her ears.
"Avalon…"
"Don't! You're all going to leave! A-and…And I can't stop you…" She cried, dropping her head on his chest. Kai stood there, his hands back on her trembling shoulders.
"I…I can't stop you…I can't…"
Kai closed his eyes, she was right, she couldn't stop them even if she wanted to. She was only human, she had no strength to battle against them…she was just a weak human.
And he was weak, for falling for such a weak human…
For falling so hard…falling so in love with her…
Pathetic.
C.C: Yes! I have FINALLY updated this fic!!! :D Now I just need to get my writer's block off from 'That Girl'
Well, as you can obviously tell...Brooklyn is now out of the picture. Man, I was so torn in doing this, I really was. I was going to leave it as it was and have her with Brooklyn but then...I told myself that I was going to go with the vote...and if I did leave it as it was the whole ending would have been thrown off!
But you still have to remember, they still have 'The Hunter' out there and I still haven't decided what I wanted to do with Max...either way he's still going to fit the role for the ending of the fic...which I have all planned out!!! Really exciting!
I think this fic has about maybe...10-15 chapters left...less if I can condense it...but we'll see.
Thanks for reviewing guys! I'd put all your names but I gotta go, its finals week and I've gotta study!!!
Later!