Chapter Thirty-Five
I open my eyes, expecting the blackness known as the Isolation Tank, and I have to snap them shut just milliseconds after opening them, the sudden whiteness of light almost blinding me in that time.
Instead of opening my eyes again, I let my other senses rule my body for the moment.
I feel a cold metal surface under me and a light blanket on top of me. The smell of antiseptic fills my nose. My tongue tells me that I've been given water recently. It's my hearing that interests me the most, though, as I can hear a conversation outside my door.
"Three months?" a female voice exclaims loudly. "I had heard that she's strong, but I didn't think she had strong character as well," she said more quietly, as if to herself.
"What do you mean?" a man asks the woman.
"Those who survive the longest in the tanks have an inner strength that the other experiments don't seem to," she explains. "The thing is, the longest I've seen any experiment go is a month and a half at the most, and very few go that long."
I groan internally, realizing that they're talking about me and that I've gone past the best yet again. I've got to stop doing that.
"Oh…" the man says quietly, his voice showing that he's surprised by this.
"Yes, oh," the woman replies and I hear one of them flipping papers around, probably on a clipboard.
"What do we do with her now?" the man asks after the paper stops flipping and I hear the click of a pen being opened.
"First and foremost, we feed her as much as we can and get her re-hydrated," the woman replies, and I hear the scratching of a pen on paper, telling me that the man is writing it all down. "Then, we send her to get fixed up." The pen pauses its movement.
"You don't mean?" the man asks in disbelief, probably staring at the woman with his mouth slightly open and widened eyes.
"Yes," the woman snaps. "We're going to send her to Dublin."
"But Ireland is only used for the worst cases that need healing," the man complains, still unable to believe what the woman is saying.
"You don't think three months in that thing calls for extensive healing?" the woman retorts angrily. "We send any experiment that lasts at least a month in that thing to Dublin; her lasting three months just says that she needs it more than most!"
"What do they do to them there?" the man asks after the pen finally begins scratching on the paper again.
"Readjust them into being in smaller places and then around people," the woman replies shortly, obviously still annoyed at the man. "Most experiments can't stand to be around others or in closed-in spaces after being in the Tank."
"Got it," the man replies, his voice pitch changing ever so slightly and the rustle of clothing telling me that he nods once as he says it.
"Good," the woman says sharply. "Now go and see if she's awake. If she is, get someone else to bring food in and make sure she eats it!"
"Yes, ma'am," the man returns quickly. The woman is obviously one of the higher-ups in this branch.
Footsteps tell me that one of the scientists – the woman from what I had just heard – is walking away while the other is entering the room. Turning my face in the direction of the door with my eyes still shut to keep out the blinding light, I hear the door open and shut quickly before the man walks over to where I'm laying.
"Are you awake?" the man asks sharply, as if he doesn't want to be talking to an experiment.
"Are you a bastard?" I retort, not caring if I might get in trouble for it; the tone in his voice is annoying me.
Opening my eyes slowly, I look up into a face of a man as my eyes slowly adjust to the light. Bright blue eyes are staring into my brown ones with a look of annoyance in them.
"Just because that woman pissed you off doesn't mean you have to take it out on me," I inform the man as I blink a few times before trying to put myself up into a sitting position. It takes a few tries, but I'm finally able to sit up properly.
"How dare you," the man says darkly as the shock wears off and he glares at me.
"I dare," I reply while shrugging with my right shoulder, not really caring at the moment.
"Cheeky little bastard," he growls at me.
"I thought you were the bastard," I reply with a raised eyebrow.
Thinking about what's going on with me I realize that those memories have set of my sarcastic side like nothing else. Realizing that my family has always gotten out of things no matter what made me decide to stop just going along with the scientists and fight back a bit.
The man just growls and turns to go to a phone on the wall to call in my food. While he does that, I look around the room.
I'm sitting on a metal lab table with a light blanket covering my legs. There are carts of lab equipment, shelves of supplies, and a bunch of monitors filling up the room. It's like they just needed a place to put me so that I'm out of the way and this was the first place they found.
Stupid scientists, I sign to myself. Idiots through-and-through.
When the door opens again and a few Erasers, all morphed, enter with a couple of scientists, I flinch away and jump off the bed, dragging the blanket with me as I move to a wall.
Unfortunately, while having all of the good memories brought back up to the surface, it also means the bad ones are closer than ever. Seeing Erasers again reminds me of that time with my father in the room, and I begin feeling as if I'm back there again; memories on punches, kicks, claws, and pain come back as if they're all real before I can stop them. It takes me minutes just to calm it all down enough so that I don't flinch anymore, and I'm not even able to look up at the group by the door.
"What's up with her?" one of the new scientists ask.
"Her file says she's had bad experiences with Erasers before," a woman answers from that new group. "If she's just been through the Tank then her memories are still fresh in her mind, so she might be having flashbacks."
"Get the Erasers out then!" the man exclaims. "You, go out with them."
"The Boss told me to stay here with her," the first man complains.
"I'm your boss as well, and I say to get out!" the man yells.
"Yes, sir," the man I don't like replies in a sarcastic voice. His footsteps go out the open door with the Erasers following. Another pair of footsteps walks over to me slowly.
"Hey there," the woman from before says softly as she bends down next to me and I feel a hand on my shoulder. "The Erasers are gone." I look up to see a blond woman looking down at me with blue eyes with some hazel in them. Looking around I see that the Erasers are indeed gone.
"Thank you," I say hoarsely. Pulling the blanket around me more tightly, I pull away from the woman.
"You're welcome," the man still in the room says from behind the woman. "I'm sorry you had to deal with that bastard right after coming out of the Tank. The two of us try to keep him away from the experiments, but my female counterpart tries to put him in the rooms to freak the experiments out."
"Bastards," I mutter under my breath while one of my hands signs the word.
"What's that you're doing with your hand?" the woman asks kindly as she can see my hands.
I freeze as I realize I'm signing again. Except for in the Tank, this is the first time I've used the signs outside of my paradise since Flint. It just doesn't feel right to use them without the others there.
"Nothing," I tell her quietly. I guess she picks up on the fact that I'm not going to give her a straight answer because she leaves it alone.
"Here," she says instead, gesturing behind her where the man, who has light brown hair, is holding a tray of food and I can see a bunch of drinks on another tray on the table I had woken up on.
"Thanks," I reply as I reach up and accept the tray, smiling ever so slightly as I see a bunch of everything on it.
Deciding to eat instead of talk, I grab some of the chicken and dig in before taking a bite of a roll with butter on it. A bit of rice joins the meal before I grab an apple and eat it quickly, trying to fight back the memories of the arena as an animal. Just efficiently eating whatever I've been given, I barely pay attention anymore as my memories flow through me again and I wince at certain parts of them.
I barely even realize it when the scientists add drinks to my tray and take away empty dishes. My mind is so far gone into my memories again that I'm working on autopilot. Nothing I do brings any sort of reaction, not even through my senses. I'm just sort of numb right now.
When I realize I've eaten and drunk everything I've been given, I finally look up at the scientists, pushing the memories from my mind so that I can think a bit more clearly. The two of them are up on the table and looking down at me with indifferent faces, though I can just barely see a bit of sadness in their eyes, one set blue and the other green.
Sighing lightly, I stand up slowly, the blanket still around my shoulders, and pick up the tray of empty dishes. Bringing it over to the scientists, I leave the tray on the table between them and then move away, not really in the mood to be around them right now with all of my memories flashing through my mind.
I know that this mood won't stay with me very long, but for now, I just need to be away from them. Too many memories have been flying through my mind, both good and bad, and I can't take being around scientists right now. Once I have time to think, it'll be easier, but not until then.
"Erika," the woman whispers, making my head shoot up in surprise. She actually knows my name? "We're going to have to put you on a plane soon. When you get to Ireland, they'll leave you alone and just let you heal. Can you come with us long enough to get onto a plane?" I nod slowly, still worried about seeing Erasers. "We'll keep the Erasers away from you," she adds as if knowing what's on my mind.
Nodding my thanks, I slowly put the blanket down on the table and follow them out of the room and to a truck outside. The entire time I'm following them, I keep my senses on high alert, unable to throw off that feeling that something might attack me at any time.
I fight against that instinct with all I have, but all those memories from my past, the fights and the pain, bring back parts of me that haven't been a part of me in a while. As an animal in the arena, fighting was an instinct, but I wasn't like this back then and I had a reason to be like that; I don't have a single reason to act like this because there's no threat.
Sighing internally, I get into the cage in the back of the pickup truck. Being in the cage does nothing to me as I've been in one basically my entire life; it's just normal to me.
I just watch the scenery fly by as the scientists from before drive me through Honshu, a cover covering the back of the truck so that I can only see out through holes that are made for air and to be able to look out.
When we get to the airplane, I just let them put me into the cargo area of the plane, falling asleep while they fly me away to the UK and Ireland.
Waking up in a new room outside of my cage, I realize that the scientists must have knocked me out properly after I was asleep so that I'd be easier to transport. Blinking sleep out of my eyes, I look around the room and I'm surprised by what I see.
The walls are a light crème color, I'm sitting on a nice bed, and there's a small bedside table with a plate of food and a few bottles of water. What amazes me the most, though, is that there's a window.
Walking across the room, which is large without seeming to be gigantic, I put my arms on the windowsill and rest my chin on them, looking outside. Grass as far as my eyes can see starts once I get past the gravel in the back; nothing is back there otherwise.
Sighing audibly, I just stare out the window, thinking about how the view reminds me of my paradise. Looking out at it, I can actually picture the others out there; Victoria chasing Erik around for something he had just said or done while; Alexa and Brandon watching everyone as they flew in circles; Jen and Kyle fighting while Shawn tries to break it up. I can see all of that happening right out on this one area.
Groaning lightly, I go to the bed and throw myself onto it, memories filling my head like in the Tank. Being in that damn thing had brought everything in my life back to surface, and I can't seem to push it all back down again.
Sighing deeply, I reach for a bottle of water and drain it before picking up the peanut butter and jelly sandwich, eating it quickly before grabbing another one and downing it too. After another bottle of water, I stop eating and lay down again, my hands covering my eyes as I try to figure out what's going on with me.
It's as if something's invaded my mind and taken it away from me, controlling my thoughts. I can control my actions and thoughts that come out of nowhere, but my memories are out of control.
Realizing that thinking about it won't help anything, I go and look out the window again and just let the memories flow through me, the ones of my paradise the most common.
The next few weeks pass in the same way. I wake up, eat whatever meal a scientist brings in, look out the window all day, and then fall asleep. Memories are flowing through my mind as I try to figure out the cause behind all of this.
The only noticeable thing is that I'm moved into a smaller room with a smaller window, though it doesn't make much sense as they're just rooms. My only problem is getting the memories out of my mind.
Another couple of weeks, at least, pass by before I begin to realize why my mind won't leave me alone. I've never truly accepted my past.
Thinking about it now, in the Tank, I had only accepted that my life was bad and I've lived through it. Otherwise, the first moment I could, I'd push the terrible memories to the back of my mind and try to pretend they never happened.
Sighing deeply as I stare out the window, I let memories like the Erasers, my parents and uncle, the Death Room, the Torture Room, my testing, and every other bad memory – only slightly bad or terrible – and let them run through my mind one-by-one.
It takes a few weeks, but I slowly accept what's happened in my past. The hardest to accept is anything with my family, excluding Alexa, in it, especially that time with the Erasers. Because those are the hardest, I push them away and let the easier ones to come forward first.
Sometime during all of this, I'm moved twice more, both times into smaller rooms with smaller windows.
The day I'm moved into a room without a window, I'm working on trying to accept the sudden change in my parents and uncle; they had been so kind and then suddenly were more evil than most of the other scientists.
Lying down on my bed in the small room, I close my eyes so that I don't have to stare at a white ceiling while I let the memories flow through my mind yet again.
Slowly, I go through the memories of my family and see small things that I hadn't noticed back then that show the true side of them; shared looks, darkness in eyes, some forced smiles, etc. It all adds up to the truth: They had been acting the entire time.
The next memories to flow through my mind are of the Torture Room and conversations with my so-called father. I remember him calling me worthless, how he had been hoping I'd be better than that, that he was ashamed to call him his daughter, and I belonged in the that room. Tears had fallen from my eyes back then and in the Tank, but they don't fall now. All I can feel is detachment as I realize my father had been the sort of man who couldn't love me or my sister; he had just hidden it well.
Realizing all of this, it's easy to just give in and see that what had happened with my family, besides Alexa, had been out of my control. Nothing to do with those three had been my fault, so I had no reason to push it away or feel guilty. Not even those two days with the Erasers had been my fault; my father had been angry and needed a way to show it.
Once I've finally given in to that, I fall asleep, dreaming of my paradise, though I'm still alone. I spend the entire time in my paradise just flying around in the sky, letting myself relax and not think about anything but flying.
When I wake up the next morning, my mind is finally clear, relaxed. This is probably the first time I've felt like this in months. It's amazing to finally have my mind as my own again without the memories.
Smiling as I sit up and lean against the wall while I sit on my bed, I wait for a scientist to come in and tell me if I'm moving, finally being tested on, or just to get food.
When the scientist finally comes in with a tray of food, she takes one look at me, places the tray down on the bedside table, and quickly leaves the room while calling out for another scientist.
Moments after I finished eating, the woman comes back in with another scientist, another woman, and they both look me over before ordering me to follow them.
Rolling my eyes at their reactions to me, I follow one of them women and the other follows me until we reach a room with a metal table and a bunch of matching. I'm gestured to go lay down on the table, and I do it with an internal groan.
The stupid machines are hooked up to me and the two women work together to get a pile of readings on me. I just stare around the room and listen to the beeping noises from the machines as they do this; there's not really anything else to do in here. Fighting boredom while they do this sort of thing is always a pain in the butt.
When the testing is finally done, I'm just left to lay here as the two scientists go and find other people to talk to. It sounds like I might just be leaving this place…
While I might like the peace and quiet here, getting out of here will be a lot better. Now that my mind isn't full of flashing memories, the quiet is quite boring. I need something to do, something to keep myself busy. This place just doesn't have anything for me now that I've finally gotten over my time in that Tank.
A group of about seven scientists come back into the room and have a cage on a cart with them. After untying me, they gesture for me to get up and move into the cage. Sighing ever so slightly, and too quietly for them to hear, I stretch my muscles before brushing off the dust from my clothes before willingly going into the cage, knowing there's no point in fighting it; they'll just bring in Erasers if I do.
Once I'm in the cage, which surprises the scientists as they must have been expecting me to fight it, they take me out front and to a van. Fighting the winces from the bumping they're giving me as they push the cart over the gravel road, I try to look indifferent about this entire thing. Truthfully, I'm just curious about where they're sending me this time. Maybe I'll be sent to South America or Australia this time; the only two continents I haven't been to before.
A needle is thrust into my arm suddenly, and before I know it, the world goes black.
I know, this was a bit short, and I'm sorry to say that the next few chapters are shorter as well, but there's a reason... These few chapters are more of a connector between the Tank and Old and New Attack from Erika's POV. Then, the last 6 chapters are amazingly long and full of thoughts and dialogue.
It's only been two days since I posted Chapter 34, and I've only gotten two reviews, but I'm posting this now to tell you all that this story is officially completed. Over the next week or two, I'll be posting every 2 or 3 days so that you'll get the rest of it quickly. This is my way of saying sorry about the longer waits, for taking so long to finish this story, and I just want it all posted.
Please, let me know what you thought about this chapter. Sorry about it being so short, but it'll be like this for a few days... I forgot to mention that I was forcing a few parts of this out as it just didn't want to be written. Hate it when that happens. :/
Posted: 7/27/10 (My Mom's Birthday and the Day I Completed the Story.)