Chapter 33: Isabella

I was released from the hospital three days after my conversation with Edward, and he stayed with me the entire time. I tried not to talk too much, letting him tell me about what's he'd been doing since he was changed. I talked briefly about some of my missions, but not in much detail. He didn't press, for which I was grateful.

The less I talked, the farther away I would stay. I kept telling myself that as I listened to him and his journey to become a doctor like Carlisle and help people instead of hurt them, like he had for almost a decade. His face got very dark when he told me about those years, but he told me anyway. I just laid there and listened to him, Edward only pausing when a nurse was coming in to check my vitals, even though both of us knew I was fine now.
Carlisle insisted on me using a wheelchair on the day I was discharged, and he cut down my argument against it by saying it was for appearances. I knew it wasn't, and he knew I knew it, but I didn't fight him. I still hadn't tried healing myself yet, so technically I was still injured.

Edward pushed me out of the hospital in the chair and drove me to their home, the entire car ride silent. After him talking so much while I was hurt, the quiet was almost deafening. I was conflicted on whether or not to initiate a conversation, but decided not to in the end. Carlisle convinced me to spend a night with them before I tried to heal, just in case something were to happen. He wanted to make sure I wasn't alone before I was fully healed. I was sure I'd be fine, but he and Edward wouldn't hear of it.

Esme was waiting outside when we pulled up in his Volvo, and I could see the others looking out from the second-story windows. She opened my door and Edward offered his hand. I took it and he basically lifted me from the car, holding me with one arm and closing the door with the other. I smiled at her as Edward moved my one arm around his neck and then put his arm under my knees. He carried me into the house as Esme rambled on and on about how I was welcome to stay as long as I wanted and how happy she was to have me.

"Can't you walk, dear?" she asked, and I rolled my eyes, looking at Edward.

"I can, but I'm not allowed," I said and she laughed.

"She hasn't healed herself yet, Esme," Edward added. "She can walk, but it hurts. Just ask Jasper. He was there yesterday when Carlisle let her try."

He had me there, so I kept quiet. Esme shook her head and smiled, tapping my foot with her hand as they walked up the front steps. Alice and Rosalie were waiting just inside the door, the smaller of the two almost vibrating from excitement. I was gently placed on the couch in the living room, where Jasper was bending in front of the large fireplace. A flame slowly grew behind him and he turned around, smiling shyly.

"Hello," he said, sitting on the floor in front of the flame as Edward moved to stand next to where I was sitting.

"Hi," I said back, tilting my head and looking over the skin of his arms and neck. "You had some exciting years, huh?"

"You could say that," he said with a laugh. "The Southern Wars were no place for the glamorous, and glamorous I am not."

"So that was you. I had heard rumors of a Whitlock being one of the commanding officers down there, but I stayed far away."

"That was a smart decision on your part. We were killing any of your kind that tried to interfere." He got a faraway look in his eye, and I changed the topic to bring him back.

"Well, you got away and the wars are over now, so everything's okay," I said with a smile, pushing away the memory of my vision. I still hadn't had another explaining why we were standing in the field, but I hadn't looked into it, either. I needed a break, even for only a few days.

"I have Alice now," he whispered, smiling.

"That's right. She's helped you get over all of that, hasn't she?" I asked, and he nodded, looking at the floor.

"I was . . . different after that. I wasn't who you knew, but she made me want to be him again," he said, running his finger along the lines in the floorboards.

"I'm very happy for you Jasper."

"What about you?" he asked, suddenly looking up. I tilted my head slightly in question. "Did you ever find anyone?"

"I didn't look," I answered, trying my best to avoid the question as Edward's face popped into my mind. Jasper gave me a skeptical look, but he didn't press.

"Besides, I have him," I said, gesturing to Hermes as he walked in and sat by Jasper in front of the fire, squawking at me. After a minute, though, he turned and walked directly into the fire and nestled down in the burning embers.

"Here you go, dear," Esme said, breaking Jasper's stare as she came in with a steaming mug and a fleece blanket.

Edward took the blanket from her and carefully draped it over me, making sure it was covering all of me. His care and attention was confusing me after our silent ride to the house, but I figured he would talk when the others weren't around. Not that I wanted to be the person he confided in. I mean, yes, I would lend an ear to a friend in need, but it was a little more awkward with him than with the others. That stupid vision wouldn't leave me alone.

"Thank you," I whispered as Edward took the mug from Esme and handed it to me. A shock travelled up my arm as my hands touched his and I jumped, causing my chest to throb. I covered my wound with my hand, holding my breath until it stopped.

"I'm sorry," Edward gasped, his face twisted with guilt.

"No, don't. I'm fine," I said, letting my breath out and attempting to take the mug again. The shock was there as my fingers touched his, but I resisted the urge to jump. I sipped the tea, trying to make him see I wasn't dwelling on what happened, and he slowly relaxed.

"Why don't we put your feet up and we'll let you rest? Carlisle will probably want to be here when you try to heal," Esme said, and I nodded once, watching her slowly pull the lever on the side of the couch to release the leg rest so I didn't spill my tea.

"Okay, we'll leave you be. Try to rest and just call if you need anything," Esme said, gently patting my shoulder.

Jasper stood and followed her out, placing his hand on my shoulder for a moment. We gave each other a small smile before he walked away, leaving me with Edward, who still wasn't really talking. I took another long sip of my tea, stalling as he came around the back of the couch and sat down at the opposite end, his body turned slightly towards me. I could feel him watching me, but I didn't turn.

"What are you going to do?" he asked in a whisper, and I finally faced him, but only for a moment.

"What do you mean?"

"When you're healed, what are you going to do?" he explained, and I mentally sighed.

"Go back home. Wait for another vision. Maybe look for another mission," I said, shrugging carefully. I took another sip, wishing my cup was bigger as the bottom came into view.

"What if you don't have any visions?" he asked. "Will you stay?"

"Don't know," I said with a shrug, then finishing my tea and placing the mug in my lap. "Maybe. I don't know how quickly news of my presence here will spread with what happened."

"It wouldn't matter if you stayed here. We could keep you safe, if you'd let us," he said, bringing up the one topic I really didn't want to talk about.

"I've been on my own for centuries, Edward. I can't just embrace the thought of someone protecting me when I've done it myself for so long," I said, looking at him and shaking my head.

"It wouldn't be like us coddling you, Isabella. You'd be free to come and go as you please, but you'd have people who care about what happens to you and want to help in any way we can. You'd be part of the family, not a charge we've been given to watch over."

"I can't just say yes or no to this, Edward. It's something I'd need to seriously think about, and I haven't."

"I know. I don't mean to push you, Isabella, but this was a close call. I can't help but think if one of us had been with you, we could've protected you and the child. Knowing that I hadn't ever really talked to you about it and then having you almost die . . . I feel guilty, like I should've been there to keep you from being shot." He looked down at his lap and shook his head.

"You shouldn't feel guilty, Edward. This isn't the first time I've gotten hurt, and it won't be the last."

"I can't help it, Isabella. I feel pain when you do. When you felt to the ground, I felt it. When you were in surgery, I felt it. When you woke up screaming in pain, I felt it. I know how bad it was. I could have saved you from that pain, but I didn't."

He was silent for a few moments and I didn't respond. This was something he had to get over himself. I couldn't help him. The irony of the situation? He wasn't really letting me help him.

He waved at my mug and I handed it to him, confused, and he got up, leaving the room. I listened to his almost-silent steps and looked down at my lap, my brows furrowed. I let my head fall back against the couch, trying to figure out what was going on, but I fell asleep almost before I felt him reenter the room.