Chapter 37 – A Cut So Deep

Albus' POV

Have you had that feeling when something you have wanted so much that as draw close to acquiring it, it is taken away at the last second?

Have you ever felt that life has never been fair to you at all or that you are just stuck in one big dream and sooner or later you will wake-up and realized none of this has happened?

I felt lost, humiliated, and depressed.

You want to know why? I'll tell you why. Let's see, it all happened this morning. Back when I was brushing my teeth. No, no. Let's start it when I just woke up. Yeah, that sounds good. Ok, os pay attention, I need someone to hear me out.

I woke up early today for once. I was normally that person who makes it to class just on time because I like to sleep as much as possible. I never bothered to comb my hair like the other guys do because I inherited my dad's messy hair. Yeah, I know, guys can sometimes act like girls; especially with their appearance. For me, well, I could care less of what I looked like because everybody knew what I looked like and I knew what most of them looked like. It is the same old ritual day in and day out.

I got up early and quickly grabbed all my books and threw them into my bag. This was like the first time in a long time that I would be going to breakfast. I always skipped breakfast because I never got up in time. I don't eat much anyway. Not like James. He is a bloody cow when it comes to food.

I quickly brushed my teeth and walked out the door down the staircase out of the common room and towards the Great Hall. This just had to be a good day. I was getting breakfast, wasn't I?

I walked into the Great Hall and spotted Rose and Roxanne immediately.

"Hey." I said to them.

"Al? What are you doing down here? You don't get up until a quarter before eight." Roxanne asked.

"Thought I'd try this breakfast thing for once. Do you mind?" I asked them. They shrugged, allowing me access to sit by them.

"Are you sure you're ok and nothing is bothering you?" Rose asked me.

"Yeah, I feel great. I just thought I'd sit down at breakfast. I just woke up earlier than usual." I was about to sit down when Roxanne said:

"Oh, wait you can't sit there."

"Don't tell me you have assigned seats." I asked.

"Well, it's just a normal routine. Every day is just the same and I like it that way."

"Superstitous, much?" Rose smiled at Roxanne's facial expression at my comment.

"Well, whoever is sitting here will have to go through me. I mean come on you don't see me down here that much."

"Never." Rose said. I smiled.

"Well, yeah, so I think I deserve the authority. Besides girls don't scare me. I mean look at who I landed for as cousins and a sister."

"Hey, I should take offense to that." Roxanne said. I chuckled.

"Oh, look here they come." Rose said. I turned and I watched as a whole bunch of people started filing into the Great Hall. Twelve students started making their way over to the Gryffindor table. 

It was Thor, Scorpius, Lily, Melanie, Jack, Alice, Molly, Kelly, Lysander, Lorcan, and my heart started fluttering when I saw who was at the rear. Ellie and Evelyn were talking fast behind the crowd. Just watch, just watch me be sitting in Ellie's seat and she'll ask why I would be. What should I say?

I mean we talk and all, but it gets awkward.

"ALBUS!" Lily squealed and ran over and swung her arms around my neck. "Wow, you made it down for once, congratulations!" She said excitedly. What is she so excited about?

"Lily, I see you every day, what makes today any special?"

"You're down here, of course." She said and sat next to me. I watched as Thor made his way to sit next to Rose quickly. Scorpius was silent and sat down next to Lily.

Oh, please, oh please don't let Ellie sit next to me. Well, I'd love her to sit next to me, but I'd so be prone to blushing. That is a guy's worse fear: blushing.

But she didn't.

She sat one person over. Evelyn sat next to me. Evelyn had given up on trying to get with someone in our family because of James. James was her biggest disappointment. Let's just say now she has had five different boy-friends after him. She is now currently dating Josh Muffawiz. It was really annoying in the Gryffindor Common Room to hear her screaming, "Muffy," at the top of the stairs. I'm surprised the guy isn't even embarrassed about it.

I looked over as Ellie sat down. She grinned at Kelly who sat across from her. Some inside joke they must of shared probably. She turned and saw me and gave me a cheerful wave. I nodded my head at her. Only wusses would wave back.

We all started eating breakfast together until we heard a shuffle of flapping in the air. It was the owls returning.

"Oh, look it's Dobby!" Lily elbowed me. Our new family owl, Dobby, a beautiful snowy white owl flew down on the table. Silvester had died when it flew into a tree, last year.

"Must be from Mum. I sent her letter a while ago." Lily said and snatched the letter from the owl. I gave her a questioning look, but she didn't look up to see it.

"Hey El, what's wrong?" Kelly asked. I looked over to see Ellie's smile that she once had now faded into a frown.

"Oh, it's nothing."

"Is it from Jason?" Who the hell is Jason? Her father? I watched as Ellie nodded.

"Yeah, he said he is going to America and won't be back to the end of the summer." She pursed her lips.

"Yeah, but you'll get to see him, won't you?"

"He promised he'd be around for the summer." I heard her mumble angrily. I never heard her like that before.

"El, I'm sure he feels bad." Ellie was still looking down then she shrugged.

"No worries, right." She looked at Roxanne who was giving her a sad look. Who was Jason?

"I'll catch you guys later." Ellie said and left.

"What was that all about?" I asked the crowd. Rose was biting her lip.

"What do you mean?" Roxanne asked.

"Who is Jason?"

"Oh, he's Ellie's boyfriend. He graduated like three years ago." I felt my heart drop. So, that's it. I looked at Rose who had told me she wasn't seeing anybody and she was silently humming into herself, refusing to look at me.

"Why do you care?" Roxanne asked.

"Just was wondering." I said and started eating more of my toast. Of course, she has a boyfriend. Of course, I haven't got a shot with her. Why would I? I mean I might have a famous father, but that doesn't mean I'm a catch.

"Rose, can we go, now?" Thor asked her. She nodded and they soon left the table too. Before Rose left she gave me apologic look.

After they left I was starting to think about leaving too.

"Why won't you just talk to him?" Lily asked Scorpius.

"Because I don't talk to gits like him."

"Yeah, but you are friends."

"Were. We were friends." I just noticed that Scorpus and Thor hardly talked to each other. What is up with that?

"Why is he being like that?" I asked him.

"Because he's an arse." Scorpius caught Lily's disgusted look. "I mean he's just being stupid." Lily shook her head and rolled her eyes.

"What he means is that Thor is being overprotective of her. He thinks he's going to hurt her."

"No, I know he is going to hurt her."

"He hasn't done anything."

"Yet."

"How do you know that? He's your…was your friend, why can't you talk to him?"

"Look, Lily, guys don't do that thing. We don't talk about our feelings like that."

"Well, it's pretty pathetic if you asked me."

"Nobody did ask you."

"Alright, stop it. Look, Scorpius, I think Lily is right. Maybe you should mention it to him." I cut in.

"Thank you, Al." Lily smiled at me.

"Oh, yeah, if I talk about my feelings to Thor than you have to talk about your feelings to Ellie." Scorpius said. I felt a deep rush of heat rise to my cheeks.

"You like Ellie?" Lily asked. Scorpius snorted. I could have killed him. Merlin, why did he say that in front of my sister? I looked away from her surprised face.

"Why didn't you tell…"

"Because you can be so nosy sometimes, Merlin, Lily."

"Oh, I see." She got up. "Catch you both later." Melanie saw her get up and got up too to walk with her. Soon they were out of site.

"You know that was pretty harsh."

"She's my sister, she'll get over it."

"Yeah, well she's got to mind her own business. Besides why are you sticking up for her? I thought you were on my side? All you two do is argue."

"So? We have different opinions, but I would never say anything like that."

"Good for you." Scorpius quirked his eyebrows at me.

"Ok, mate, whenever you're done hating the fact that Ellie has a boyfriend, let me know." He crossed his arms and looked in the distance.

"How could Rose, not tell me? How could you not tell me?"

"I didn't know about it anymore than you did and how am I supposed to know how a girl's mind works? I wonder about that sometimes, but I think it's impossible to tell."

"I found out my Dad has this book on women, but he says it really doesn't help. He thinks it's kind of pathetic. He hides it so that Mum won't find out about it. She will be furious if she did." I tried to explain. Scorpius gave a shaky laugh.

"I'll say, women get upset over the stupidest things."

"Yeah, I've got a question to ask you."

"What's that?"

"How come you don't date? Are the girls not your type or something?" Scorpius gave me a weird look. I couldn't tell what he was thinking.

"Maybe." He said.

"Really, there is nobody you fancy?" He was silent.

"Maybe there is or maybe I just don't feel like dating. Besides, if I can't understand girls, what makes you think I can deal with one of them now?"

"Just wondering."

"Yeah, you sound like a girl with all this gossip talk." I swatted at his head and missed.

"Shut up, mate. I was just wondering."

"It's kind of funny how Ellie makes you so feminine." He joked on.

"Just you wait. Once a girl catches your eye, she'll have you more woman-like more than anything."

"You wish." He said leaning back with his arms folded behind his head. I kicked his chair and he fell out of it.

"Serves you right for leaning back on it." I said. We laughed. I checked my watch and shot up. "Merlin, we're going to be late for class." Scorpius jumped off the floor and we raced out of the Great Hall to our perspective classes.

Rose's POV

"Thor, what is wrong with you?" When we made it out of the Great Hall. I don't mean to be a push-over around him, but sometimes it just makes me sick people how I let people take advantage it.

"Nothing, I just thought we could use some time together before class." Pahlease, we haven't been like that before Christmas break. I'm not stupid, Thor, Merlin.

"You know you can tell me anything, right?"

"There's nothing to tell."

"Thor, Merlin, I'm not stupid. I don't know what's bothering you, but you haven't been acting like yourself at all lately. Why can't you tell me what is going on with you?" I asked him angrily.

"Why are you being like this?" I hated when guys used that phrase.

"Because you're obviously hiding something from me."

"No, I'm not."

"Is it Scorpius? Is it because we're friends that makes you mad?"

"What about him?" He said angrily.

"Well, you haven't talked to him in months. The least few times we've been around him, you have this grudge on him."

"He has nothing to do with us."

"Right, so why are you avoiding him and picking fights with him?"

"No particular reason you should concern with." For Merlin's sake, why do men always have to pretend to act so cool?

"Ok, whatever, Thor." I said looking away from him. He didn't respond at first.

"Look, Rose, there is nothing going on, I'm just frustrated with uh school."

"School?"

"Yeah, I've been swamped with work and I've been taking it on you, I'm sorry." So that's it? How does schoolwork make you turn on your friends and his girlfriend?

"And I'm not mad at Scorpius as much as I am at Lily."

"Lily? Why are you mad at Lily?"

"She's been riding me pretty hard on things she doesn't understand."

"Do you want me to talk to her about it?" I asked.

"No." He said quickly. I was a little confused. It seemed like he wished he didn't say that last bit of piece to me. Why is he so mad at Lily? How can anybody be mad at Lily? Well, then again Lily can make you angry sometimes.

"Do you want to talk about it? I won't…"

"No." I frowned.

"Alright then, I've got to get to class." He let go of my hand and turned to me.

"See you later, then." I nodded. I lifted myself on my tippy-toes and gave him a hug.

"Hang in there." I said. He nodded curtly and I walked away. I felt something hot and prickly in my throat. I felt there was really something wrong and he wasn't telling me the complete truth. I didn't want to lose him. He had been faithful and I actually did like him. I liked him a lot, but I just don't love him, yet.

"Scorpius! Scorpius!" I yelled to him in the corridor, after my last class. He was walking with a few of his fellow Slytherins. He turned around when he heard his name being called.

"Catch you guys later." He said to them. The boys started snickering behind his back. Scorpius chose to ignore them. That's one of the many things that made Scorpius a great guy.

"What's up, Rose?" He asked.

"I was wondering if you could help me on that Potions essay that Slughorn gave us. I have no idea how to start or what that blubersp…"

""Blurtswallop."

"Yeah, what that is. So, can you help me out?" I asked.

"Yeah, of course. Do you mind if we go to the Slytherin House, because I've got my stuff there?"

"Sure, I've never been there before."

"Really? Thor never…"

"Never." I said rather quickly. He nodded and walked to the dungeons together.

We arrived at this hard cold stone and Scorpius mumbled, "Snakeskin." The stone wall moved to the side to let us in.

It was a pretty low place with colors of green and silver dancing in front of us. It was actually very nice then what was said. It was a little chilly.

"It's warmer upstairs, promise." Scorpius said sensing how chilled I was. I nodded

"I'll wait downstairs then." I said.

"Nonsense, you can come up to our dormitory. If Thor hasn't given you a tour then I don't mind. Look, just don't judge us too much. Our dormitory isn't as clean as the girls make them." I laughed.

"You obviously, haven't been in a girls' dormitory."

"I'm not that stupid to try." I laughed again. We started to climb the stairs.

"What do you usually do at this moment anyway?" I asked him.

"Uh, go outside to the Quidditch Pitch." He said that a little awkwardly.

"Yeah, you'll need all the practice you can get, we'll crush you in the next match." I said with a smirk.

"We'll see." He chuckled. We arrived at the dormitory door. I stood to the side to keep out of the way. He opened the door. I was about to follow when he pushed back into me.

"Sorry, I just realized that I actually it all in my bag." He said.

"Is your dormitory really that bad? I told you I could care less." I said placing my hands on my hips.

"Uh, no. I just realized…"

"Oh, move over. Really, Scorpius…" I said pushing back the door.

"No, Rose…" The scene in front of me surprised me. I think at the moment my heart shattered. Right then and there that is where I saw Thor and Lorraine snogging on what is supposedly his bed. I watched as they broke apart as they heard Scorpius shuffling in behind me. They turned in our direction. Lorraine gave a yelp when she saw Scorpius and Thor gave us a look of surprise. Lorraine bolted out of the door to keep herself out of the situation.

"Please tell me that somehow she fell and for some reason she landed on your mouth." I said closing my eyes. Trying with all my might to hold back the tears that were starting to come out.

"Rose, I can explain…" Thor tried to say. Out of all the feelings I had at the moment, started to laugh.

"Rose, why are you laughing?" Thor asked angrily. I continued to laugh, but soon I stopped.

"This clears it all up. I should have known. I should have known that you would cheat on me." I said angrily.

"I can explain, if you would let me…"

"Explain? Explain? I think this explains everything. It really explains why you have been so guarded and why you have been missing so often. Merlin, and you thought you could get away with it? And out of all the people you could have cheated on me, you chose that…that cow, Lorraine. Lily was right about her. She's horrible. So why are you so angry with Lily? Did she find out about you two? Is that?" I kept raging.

"Yeah, she did see us, but Lorraine said she only saw her, not me."

"Wait, Lily said not too long ago that she saw Lorraine snogging Landrae." Scorpius cut in. "And that was you? How could you do this to…"

"No, Scorpius, don't get included into this. Can you please leave? I would like to talk alone with my ex-boyfriend." I said. Scorpius nodded, gave one last glare at Thor, and left.

I turned to Thor.

"Right." I flicked back my hair off my shoulders. "I want honest answers. I think I deserve that." I said. He nodded.

"How long have you been cheating behind my back?" I hated to hear how long, but I had to know.

"It started out as an accident. We ran into each other on the second train ride to Hogwarts." That long? That felt like a Bludger pounded against my heart.

"Then we had another incident after Christmas break. I was angry that you and Scorpius might be seeing each other behind my back and she was there. It just happened and…"

"Ok, that's all I really want to hear. Now, I want to know how you could do this? How can you be so inconsiderate that…"

"Rose…"

"I'M NOT DONE, YET!" I yelled as angry tears started to fly out.

"We told you a hundred times that we're friends. I would never do that. How could you do this to me? How could you hurt me like this? People were right when they warned me about you. But no, I thought I saw something. I thought I saw past your cocky Slytherin attitude. I thought why not give this a try. I thought you actually meant a god damn thing." Thor looked away as I blurted all of this out.

"Don't turn away from me!" Thor bounced off the bed and glared at me.

"No, you listen. Every time we got close, you were the wrong who pulled away! What the hell was that?"

"And I told you I wanted to go slow. I don't like being pushed into something I don't want to do. I was nervous as it is. I wanted things to be perfect."

"Those were the perfect moments, Rose. What other time did you want to kiss or go on dates? You're the one who is to blame!"

"YOU ARROGANT ARSE! How could you say that to me? You just cheated in front of me. How did you expect me to take it? You've been asking for it to be over from the start!" I shouted as tears streamed down my cheeks. I wiped them away.

"Are you crying?" He asked cruelly.

"Why wouldn't I? You broke my heart."

"Now, I'm kind of glad because you're such a cry baby. This relationship was over before it even started. How was I supposed to live up to your expectations?" Every word he accused me of, hurt. I started to back up into the door to leave.

"Oh, are you going to run? Are you going to run away crying like a little girl? Oh, wait that's exactly what you are!" I couldn't take it anymore so I did run. I hurried down the stairs.

"Rose?" I heard Lily's voice. I ignored it and ran as fast as my legs can carry me.

I don't know how long or how much I cried, but I hardly moved an inch all night.

I could hardly remember what happened in the days that followed on. All I knew I that I never experienced such a heartache as I had now. Every day there was a moment where I might break down again. It just had to happen to me, didn't it? Maybe Thor was right, maybe it was my fault. Did he really hate me like he said he did? Did a lot of people hate me? Probably.

I was broken and there was no way of being repaired.

A/N: Ok, I know this chapter is pretty short for once. I just have a lot of things I needed to do this week. Don't get too mad. I just got one question for you. Who do you suppose Rose will end up with now? Hmmmm….. I dare you to guess.