Chapter 37

I slowly woke up the next morning. I was under the blankets and I didn't remember getting there. I must've been cold during the night and wrapped myself in it to warm me up. I slowly reached for Seth with my hand but found his place empty. My eyes burned when I opened them. He wasn't the only one that cried last night. Seeing him like this literally broke my heart. He was normally so strong and I had never seen him like this. I tried my best to comfort him, but since I was crying as much as he was, it was hard. I couldn't even speak last night and honestly there was nothing to say. It was so unfair that he didn't get to see his mom before she passed away. I knew what I was talking about. I didn't get to say goodbye to mine when she died. It was the hardest part of the grieving process. Thinking that you couldn't be there for one last smile, one last hug and one last kiss. Seeing Seth go through the same thing made me think about my mother's death. After all those years, it hurt just as much as the day it happened.

It was a Friday night and my dad had to work late, which wasn't a recurrent thing at the time. He was way more committed to his family than he was today. Since he couldn't pick up my mother from work, she had to take the bus to come back home. When she walked across the street, she got hit by a car. We learned a few days later that the driver was texting and didn't see the red light. She died a few hours later at the hospital but I didn't get to see her. As soon as the police called my dad to tell him about the accident, he immediately left work to go see her. He was in shock and so worried about her that he didn't think of picking me up at home first. It wouldn't have changed a thing anyway because she passed away just before he arrived.

I remembered crying all night long after he had told me what happened. My dad had retreated to his room and barely left it for a week, leaving me to grieve on my own. I couldn't even call Felix, since he was on a trip with his family. I had been through hell for a whole week, all alone, crying my mother's death. When my best friend finally came back and learned what had happened, he swore to me that he was never leaving again. He stopped traveling with his family and never left my side. After that day, my dad became a workaholic. It was the only way he wouldn't think of her. He could barely look at me in the beginning because I looked so much like her. Thinking about all this made me sad and a single tear dropped down my cheek. I quickly wiped it off when I heard Seth coming.

"Hey" I said when he entered the bedroom.

"Hey."

He cried so much last night that his voice was huskier than usual. He would've looked awful if only it was possible. His eyes were red and there were dark circles under them, but he still looked beautiful. I wanted to ask him how he was feeling but I didn't know whether I should do it or not.

"There's bread in the kitchen if you want anything to eat." he said as he put his phone on the night table beside me. "Sorry but I don't have time to cook…"

He went to the dresser and it seemed like he was in a hurry.

"It's alright." I simply said, my voice as husky as his.

"I'm gonna jump in the shower real quick." he said as he threw clothes on the bed. "If my dad call, could you tell him that I'll call him back later?"

Without even looking at me, he grabbed his pants and his shirt and headed outside the bedroom.

"Slow down." I said as I caught his wrist to stop him from leaving. "Take it easy for a second."

I knew how he was trying to keep his mind off of the reality. I'd been in the same situation. I knew what it was to constantly do something so that you wouldn't think about what had just happened. I knew exactly what he was feeling and I was not going to let him deal with this by himself. Seth escaped my grasp and finally laid his eyes on me.

"I'm fine Ali." he simply said, with a mix of sadness and anger in his face.

"Are you?"

"I'm sorry about last night."

"Sorry about what?" I asked, confused.

"I had a bit of a breakdown, but I'm OK now."

"Seth… that wasn't a breakdown. It was a totally normal reaction, don't apologize for that…"

Your mom just passed away for Christ's sake, I wanted to add.

His eyes soften a little as he sat on the bed, next to me. We sat there in silence for a few seconds before he finally said something.

"Alright, maybe it was a normal reaction for you, but not for me. But I swear I'm gonna be OK, you don't have to worry about me. I'm in a hurry because my dad is waiting for me for the reading of my mom's will and…"

"That soon?" I asked, interrupting him.

"Yes." he said with a small smile. "That's actually a wish of hers. She wanted it to be over as soon as possible so that we could move on with our lives. She doesn't… didn't want us to grieve for months. My parents fought about that all the time. My dad didn't want to do it as quick as she asked, but she kept repeating that it was her last wish. Short funeral, not many people and then we move on."

"It actually makes sense." I said, thinking about how long it was before my mom's funeral.

"So my dad called me this morning and told me that we could do it today. That's why I need to jump in the shower as fast as possible so that I'm not late." he said as he stood up.

"Oh… OK." I said, still a little bit worried about him.

"So if he calls, please tell him that I'm almost ready and that I will call him back OK?"

I nodded and he smiled before he left the room. It wasn't his best one, but I knew he was trying. He didn't want me to be worried but I couldn't help it. Maybe I wouldn't have been if I had not been in the same situation years ago. I had to remind myself that Seth was a lot stronger than me. Deep down inside of me, I knew that he would be alright, but I was still glad that he wanted me to be here. Just thinking about him having to deal with this on his own made my heart ache. A few moments after Seth had left the room, I finally got out of bed and made it. After that, I went to the guest room to do the same. As I was pulling the blankets up, I heard Seth's phone ring. I ran back to his bedroom as fast as I could, scared I would miss the call. On the screen, it was written private number. I didn't take any chances and answered, in case it was his dad trying to reach him.

"Hello?" I said after I pressed the green button.

Nobody talked. I've said hello two or three more times but no one answered me. I looked back at Seth phone and it was back to the home screen, which confirmed that the call had really ended. It took me too long to get there and the person that was calling must've hung up when she realized no one was picking up. My heart stung a bit when my eyes laid on the wallpaper he had. It was an old picture of Seth, Felix and I, back when we were all friends. It had been taken the night that we decided to get wasted by going to the most bar we could in one evening. We weren't dating at the time. Hell I hadn't even considerate sleeping with the guy back then. Thinking about how good we were as best friends made me sad. Why the hell couldn't we just go back to that point? The phone rang again, making me jump. It was still the private number but this time, I answered immediately.

"Hello?"

"Hi…" I heard.

A girl's voice. None of us talked for a few seconds, both wondering who the other was.

"May I speak with Seth please?" she finally said.

"He's a busy right now, can he call you back in a few minutes?"

"It's alright. I'll wait."

"And who should he call back?" I asked, curious to know if it was the girl social media talked about.

"Oh no, I meant I'll wait on the line until he's available."

"Hum OK… I'm putting you on hold. He'll get back to you as soon as possible."

I pressed the right button and looked at the phone for a moment. That girl was weird. I couldn't believe that she was willing to wait on the line, even though she had no idea how long it could be before Seth actually picked up the phone. Although, there was a part of me that couldn't blame her. If she was the girl that he was seeing, she must've thought it was weird that another girl answered. My stomach growled and I suddenly realized how hungry I was. I grabbed Seth phone and headed to the kitchen, where I put a slice of bread in the toaster. I pour myself a cup of coffee and groaned when I took my first sip. It was hot as hell, but I needed it so bad and Seth's coffee always tasted so good. It had nothing to do with the brand Felix always bought. I tried to convince my best friend to change so that we could have the same as Seth, but he kept saying that his was less expensive. He was right, but it was also less tasty.

"Did my dad called?" Seth asked as he entered the kitchen.

He was putting on his shirt, which gave me time to see his naked chest. His hair was wet, falling on his shoulder, water dripping on him and I couldn't help but to bite my lips. Why did he have to be that hot?

"No." I said, happy that I didn't stutter. "But there's someone waiting for you on the line."

I gave him his phone and he looked at me, frowning his eyebrows. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought it was weird. He briefly shrugged before his eyes went down on me and a small smile lighten up his face.

"Wondered where that was." he simply said.

I looked down and my heart started beating a little bit faster. I totally forgot that I was still wearing his shirt. It wasn't just any Seth Rollins shirt. It was literally his shirt. Since I used it as a pajama back when we were together, I accidentally packed it when I moved out of his house and I never had the guts to give it back. Before I could say anything else, Seth left with his phone, leaving me all alone with my red cheeks.