TRIGGER WARNING!: This chapter contains themes regarding suicidal thoughts and actions. They are a main part of the plot, so if any of these themes bother you, then skip this chapter. If you need a brief summary of the chapter without said themes, just contact me.

Soulmates and soulmarks. These words meant nothing to you for months, but suddenly, with your return to the Avengers, they are becoming a newly found, very important part of your vocabulary once again. While the other Avengers were recovering from saving the world once again, you were trying to make sense of this new world, and the new facility you had been moved to. The Avengers hadn't noticed any change in your condition, you were silent most of the time, and you slept a lot. And you hadn't had any nightmares yet, which Bucky found strange, but he knew that meant you weren't remembering anything yet, which wasn't good. Hydra might have wiped you too much and your memories might be buried too deep to remember them. Bucky hadn't mentioned his hypothesis yet, but if this went on much longer, he would tell them, just to save the Avengers heartbreak. But he was determined to help you, he wasn't sure why, but it felt like the right thing to do.

You are sitting in a chair in your room. They had moved you to a new facility about 4 days ago. The new building was larger, but you had only seen a small portion of it. The people had put you in this room and you hadn't been out since then. This room was bigger than the last one and now you weren't strapped to the bed. This room looked like a bedroom, expect it had concrete walls. There was a large floor length window made out of bulletproof glass on one side of the room. There was a large king size bed in the middle of the room with brown and white sheets. There was a desk with some paper and writing utensils pushed off to a corner of the room. There were two chairs in the room, ones that you would expect to find in a living room. The last thing in the room was a bookshelf, you had scanned the bookshelf a few times since you had come here, but you hadn't taken any books off of the shelf. The books seemed to range in age, some of them, like one titled The Hobbit, seemed to be falling apart with age, while others, like one, titled, The Giver, seemed to be falling apart because of how well loved the book was.

Since the day you got here, you have been doing one of a few things, eating the food they slide through a slot, sleeping, showering (you hadn't had a good shower in god knows how long), or thinking. No one had come to visit you, at least not when you were awake. You couldn't leave the room, the door was locked and couldn't be opened with force (you had tried) and the window couldn't be broken (that's how you figured out it was bulletproof)

Today was no different from all the other days, you were curled in your chair, the one facing the door, and thinking about one of your favorite topics, how you would get out of here and kill everyone in the building. You were imagining lighting Black hair on fire and watching him burn when the door opens. You jump up and reach for, nothing, they had taken your gun, so you go with the next best option, making a fireball. You concentrate and a fireball appears in your hand. Someone walks through the door, it was a new person you had not encountered yet. He had short, messy, light brown hair, sparkling blue eyes, and a hint of scruff. He was wearing a purple t-shirt, black joggers, and no shoes. The man's eyes widen when he sees the fireball in your hand. He raises his hands in the air, showing he meant no harm. You narrow your eyes and scowl at the man before reluctantly extinguishing the flame.

The man sighs and then proceeds to sign something with his hands. You frown at him. What in the world was he doing? The man realizes his mistake and then reaches up to his ear. You notice that he had hearing aids, he must have had them off, "I'm Clint."

You sit back down with a huff, "That's nice, I don't particularly care."

The man, Clint, walks over and sits across from you, "Do you remember me?"

"Nope," you reply, staring at him, confused as to why he was sitting down.

Clint sighs, "Do you know who you are?"

You think for a few seconds. You had been told your name was (Y/N) Barton, but you only recall being called Asset, "I have been informed by Steve that my name is (Y/N) Barton."

"Steve, you remember him?" Clint questions, leaning forward in interest.

"I know his name is Steve Rogers," you mumble, bringing your knees up to your chest and hugging them.

"Well," Clint runs his hand through his already messy hair, "That's a start," you both sit in silence for a few minutes before Clint speaks again, "What do you know about (Y/N) Barton?"

"That it's apparently my name," you snap, couldn't this guy just leave you alone.

Clint continues, not fazed by your sudden change in temperament, "Something that's not obvious."

"I'm 25," you answer. You blink, where had that come from?

Clint seems shocked by your answer as well, "Um, you're actually 26, but hey, progress right?"

You narrow your eyes, "Progress?"

"In your memory," Clint replies, leaning back in the chair, crossing his legs.

"My memory is fine," you retort, releasing your knees and letting them fall off the chair.

"Okay, when's your birthday?" Clint questions, leaning forward.

"I…I don't know," you sink deeper into your chair, suddenly feeling ashamed.

Clint nods, not surprised, "August 17th."

"What?" you ask, cocking your head slightly.

"Your birthday, the day you were born, August 17th, 1988," Clint repeats, he leans back in his chair, "I was 2 the day you were born. I don't really remember that much, but I think mom was in the kitchen making me and Barney lunch when she went into labor. Dad was at work, so Barney, being the savior of the day, called him and told him. Dad came home and then we all went to the hospital. At 9:52 pm, you came into the world."

You stay silent, processing the information, "So…you're my…brother?"

Clint nods, smiling slightly, "Clinton Francis Barton at your service."

You nod, biting your lip, "And Barney?"

Clint sighs, his smiling disappearing, "He was our older brother, he died about 4 years ago. He would be 32 if he was still alive."

"What about our…parents?" you question, on some level, you were intrigued about this supposed past.

"They died in a car crash when you were 4," Clint answers, nodding, "We got put in the foster system and we spend 6 years in the system until we ran away and joined the circus. That lasted until you were 18 and then we left and traveled around a bit until you were 20, then we joined S.H.I.E.L.D."

S.H.I.E.L.D., that name was familiar, but only vaguely so, "What's S.H.I. .?"

Clint frowns, "Oh, uh, it stands for something really long and stupid, but basically it's an espionage, law enforcement, and counter-terrorism agency. We were field agents before we joined the Avengers."

"The Avengers," you repeat, scrunching your eyebrows together, "Is that who's captured me?"

"Captured?" Clint asks, confused, "You're not captured, we rescued you from Hydra. They were brainwashing you into killing people and helping them."

You shake your head, "No, they were, helping me," you sound unsure of yourself, "Right?"

"No," Clint replies, frowning, "They're bad people. They killed millions and caused at least one apocalyptic-like event." That didn't sound completely right, but it didn't sound wrong either. After being out of your handlers care for so long, you are realizing some of the things they did weren't for your benefit, such as the constant wiping and cryofreeze that seemed more beneficial to them, "Look," Clint announces, standing up, "I'll let you process all of this. If you need anything, just ask JAR…Friday."

"Who's Friday?" you question, looking around for someone in the room.

"Hello, Agent Barton," a voice with a heavy Irish accent calls.

You jump up from the chair, "What the fuck?"

"Don't mind her," Clint's voice comes from right by your ear. It startles you, so you spin around and push him against the nearest wall, your metal arm on his throat, "(Y/N)," he chokes out.

You don't stop, your mind has gone into kill mode, and there was no one in the room to stop you from killing him. Suddenly the door is thrown open and Solider steps in. He looks around until he sees you choking Clint to death. He moves towards you and he rips you away from Clint, "Go," he says sternly. Clint nods looks at you sadly and then leaves. Soldier's eyes fall on you, "(Y/N), it's okay." You advance on the man, watching him for a few seconds before you strike. You slam your knee into his chest, surprising him. You elbow him in the face shoving him towards the wall, he wasn't fighting back, which was strange. With one last kick in the gut, you have him against the wall, in a similar position you had Clint in, metal hand on his throat and normal arm across his chest. Solider shoves you back and then pushes you to the wall across the room. Now he has you pressed against the wall, using all of his force to keep you there. Then, without any hesitation, he slams your head against the wall, then he lets go of you. You slide down the wall, black spots clouding your vision. You feel yourself being picked up and moved to the bed, then a garbled voice, "Friday, get Doctor Cho in here, I think I might have given her a concussion."

The black spots finally overwhelm your vision and you fall into unconsciousness.

P.O.V. Switch and Time Skip: 2 Hours

Bucky and Steve were sitting in the living area of the new facility. Bucky was sitting hunched over on the couch, arms clasped between his thighs. Steve was next to him, looking out the window at Vision and Wanda, who were playing with the dogs outside.

Bucky sighs and sits up, "I should've done something else."

Steve looks away from the window to Bucky, "Buck, there was nothing else you could've done. You didn't know how to handle sedatives and I doubt talking her down would've done anything at that point, she was too far gone."

Bucky sighs again, rubbing his face, "She's not getting any better."

Steve nods slowly, biting his lip, "It's only been a week, it's not like she'll get better overnight."

"She should've remembered more by now," Bucky answers, looking at Steve, "I mean, more names or at least a few things."

"Maybe she has," Steve shrugs, "She might just still be apprehensive about us. I mean, in a way, we did kind of kidnap her."

"I guess it could look like that," Bucky leans over and rests his head on Steve's shoulder, "What was Clint even doing in there?"

Steve turns his head slightly to look at his boyfriend, "I suggested that he should go talk to her about their childhood."

"Is that what made her angry?" Bucky questions.

"I don't know, you'd have to ask Clint," Steve replies, "But then, I guess you'd have to find him."

Clint had run off after the incident and no one was sure where he was. Natasha was currently looking for him on the grounds, she thought he might have found a tree or something to climb into.

"Yeah," Bucky answers. They fall into a comfortable silence, enjoying each other's company. They had been doing that a lot recently. Bucky was coming out of his shell at a faster pace, which was great, they could do more now. Going on day trips to Brooklyn seemed to be one of Bucky's favorite things at the moment, he liked seeing how much it had changed, "We should get Loki to talk to her."

Steve scoffs, "How? He's not really open to human interaction at the moment. When Thor went to invite him to eat dinner with us, he almost got his arm taken off."

"He needs to talk to her," Bucky replies firmly, "I think that's part of why she isn't doing as good as she could be, if that makes sense," Steve nods, so Bucky continues, "You were there for me when I came here and basically didn't leave me alone until I remembered enough to make you satisfied, and you being there helped. I think Loki being there for (Y/N) would help her. And Clint being there too, I mean, he probably knows the most about her."

Steve nods, "So, operation get Loki to talk to (Y/N) is a go?"

Bucky lifts his head up, "Think of a better name and then it's a go

"What's wrong with the name?" Steve looks at Bucky like he's truly offended.

"Everything," Bucky replies, standing up, "I'll rally the forces, you think of a better name."

Bucky walks off to locate the others, despite Steve's calls of "Not fair!"

P.O.V. Switch and Time Skip: 45 Minutes

You were watching yourself driving a motorcycle through a crowded road in a city. You had been in that city before, but it looked somehow different. The shadows seemed more ominous like they were trying to reach out and suck you into the depths. The world seemed to lack color, everything was gray, expect for anything red, red cars, red hair, red shirts. They stood out like a beacon in the dark.

Suddenly, Blondie lands in front of fake you, who tries to swerve around him. This proves unsuccessful, Blondie grabs the bike trying to pull them off. They jump off the bike, roll a few feet, and then sprint to the sidewalk. Blondie follows after them and Black hair appears in front of them. They try to push past Black hair, but he appears to have the ability to teleport, as he appears in front of them again. Fake you conjures a fireball and launches it at Black hair. The civilians who had been standing around watching, scream and then scatter at the sight of the fire. The clothes black hair was wearing are signed, but he seems otherwise unharmed. After distracting Black hair with the fireball, they create a small, human-sized tornado to encircle him. You can see green sparks coming from within the tornado, but nothing comes through the swirling air surrounding him. Blondie, who had been watching, now steps forward trying to grab them. Fake you raises a chunk of Earth and forces it towards Blondie. The mass shoves him back a few feet, but before he could advance, they punch him in the face with their metal arm.

Suddenly, a new group of people runs towards fake you. You only recognize two of them, Clint, and Tony, the others are new. One has bright red hair, one has curly gray and black hair, and one was African American.

You look back at fake you and the panic in their eyes is obviously growing. They look around for a few seconds before locating something that pleased them. They reach into the crowd of fleeing patrons and come out with a little girl, no more than 5. She has bright red hair and has tears streaming down her face. Her mouth is open like she's screaming, but no sound comes out. That's when you realize everything had gone silent. The background city noise had stopped, and there was no screaming or talking.

Fake you pulls a gun out of their jacket and points it to the girls head. Then a conversation begins, probably bargaining for the girl's life. They all seem to come to an agreement because fake you moves to release the girl, but then the sound comes back and a shot rings out. Fake you turns and runs and the girl falls to the sidewalk.

You don't follow fake you, instead, you move to see the little girl clearly. You are at the front of the crowd, the girl is lying on the sidewalk, her red hair matted with blood, which was also on the sidewalk. Her eyes were wide in shock. The girl's mother is crouching by her, holding her close and sobbing. You turn to look at the others who were chasing fake you and you see that all of them were shocked. You look back to the girl, the blood puddle was growing, more red coming into view. You collapse on the sidewalk next to the girl.

Had you done that? Why? What had those people done to you?

You wake up, gasping for breath. You sit up and look around, you were back in the plain bedroom. You looked down at your hands, expecting to see them drenched in blood, but they were the same. One scared flesh hand, one metal hand. Had you been the one to kill the girl or was this just a figment of your imagination? Friday, you think all of the sudden, she would know. Despite your earlier hesitance towards the bodiless voice, you need answers, "Friday?"

The voice comes on, "Yes Agent Barton?"

"Did I ever kill a little girl with red hair?" you question, still trying to catch your breath, so your answer came out in gasps.

The voice comes on a few seconds later, "Yes, a girl named Fiona O'Bryan, age 5, was shot and killed by the mercenary deemed Assassin by the public, in New York City months ago."

Your breath hitches and then you start sobbing. One-half of you was screaming, why are you crying? This is your job! You kill people! No matter the consequences! While the other half was screaming, you monster! You killed an innocent girl just to save yourself! You deserve to be killed, or better yet, do it yourself to stop the pain!

That last voice was right, you had been captured and found out that your whole life was a lie, who knew how many people, children, families that you had killed. It seemed that you didn't even have a reason to be alive, there was nothing for you, just these people, who you didn't even remember. You were also just tried, after who knows how long you had been killing people, you were tired, and you need a break and you couldn't see any way out other than death. You knew that your captors wouldn't kill you, they liked you too much to even consider it. You would have to do it yourself. You get out of your bed and ignore the pounding in your head. You look around wildly, searching for anything sharp. There was a mirror in the bathroom, you could break that. You walk over to the bathroom, to be greeted by a door that was shut and locked, "FRIDAY," you roar, pounding on the door, "UNLOCK THE FUCKING DOOR!"

"I'm afraid I can't" Friday replies, "I have strict orders from Mr. Stark that if you seem to be having symptoms of suicidal thoughts or actions, I am to secure anything that you could injure yourself on. I was also told to inform the others if this happens, so be expecting company."

Right on cue, the door bursts open and Solider, an all red man, and Blondie burst in the room. You lean against the door and slide down, still sobbing for unknown reasons, "Just kill me already," you whisper, looking at the men, "Just end it."

P.O.V. Switch and 30 Minutes Earlier

Bucky had brought all of the Avengers to the living room, minus Loki of course. All of them were sitting around the room, talking to each other and wondering why they were there.

"Guys," Steve calls, trying to gain everyone attention. It seems to work because all conversation dies down and all eyes turn to face him, "So, Bucky and I were talking earlier and he made a suggestion."

"And that would be?" Tony questions, waving his hands in a go on gesture.

Steve looks to Bucky, "We need to get Loki to talk to (Y/N)."

Wanda looks up from Storm, who she had been petting, "Who is this (Y/N)?"

Vision answers for Steve, knowing that for obvious reasons they had not introduced Wanda to (Y/N), "(Y/N) is an old Avenger. She was captured by Hydra about a year ago and she was rescued right before Ultron was released on the world. She was known as the Asset among Hydra agents and deemed Assassin by the public. She was given the power to control the elements and was born with the ability to self-heal."

Wanda nods, "I think I heard some of them speaking of her."

Natasha is the next to speak, "I think that's a great idea, but just one question, how do you propose we do that?"

Steve clears his throat, "Well, that's why you're all here."

"Great," Clint sits up, "Anybody have any ideas?" No one answers him, "Well, there you go. Loki's not going to talk to my sister until he wants to."

Steve looks at Thor, "You don't have any ideas?"

"Sorry, Captain," Thor answers shaking his head, "My brother won't do anything that he doesn't want to do, and at the moment, he does not want to talk to Lady (Y/N)."

"Great," Bucky huffs, sitting down on a bar stool, "Seriously, you guys don't have any ideas on how to get that son of a bitch to talk to his fucking soulmate?"

"Watch your language Barnes," Tony chides, shaking a finger at him, "Your Captain doesn't appreciate that kind of talk."

Bucky scoffs, "You should hear him when we…"

Steve interrupts him, his face turning a bright shade of red, "But seriously, what should we do? Loki might be our only hope for getting her memory back."

"Steve's right," Natasha stands, walking over to the kitchen, "Who knows what she doesn't tell us? She obviously doesn't trust any of us, I mean, we did kind of kidnap her."

"I have a great idea," Sam declares, "We ask Loki to visit her."

"Sam does have a point," Vision agrees, "One of us may be able to convince him."

"Any volunteers?" Clint inquires, looking around at his fellow Avengers. No one speaks, "Nobody? Tony? Thor?"

"I'm not doing it," Tony announces, standing up and walking away.

"I guess I shall do it," Thor answers hesitantly, "But one of you needs to join me!"

"I'll help," Bucky stands up, despite the look Steve was giving him, "Knock it off Stevie, I'll be fine."

Steve grumbles something inaudible but nods his head slowly in frustrated agreement.

"I shall accompany the both of you," Vision walks over to Thor and Bucky, "If things do go downhill, I will be able to protect Sargent Barnes and Master Thor from Master Loki."

Steve seems to relax at the statement, "Alright, just, please try not to make him angry. We do not need another birthday incident."

"Are you referring to what happened on Agent Barton's last birthday?" Vision inquires, looking at Steve for confirmation.

Steve nods, "Yeah, we do not need that to happen again."

"We shall try our best!" Thor declares, walking to the door that leads to the living quarters, Vision following him, "Now, let us go, my companions, and try to convince my brother to talk to his beloved."

Bucky shoots Steve a look that reads, "oh God what have I gotten myself into," before he trails after Thor and Vision, clearly regretting volunteering.

Natasha starts to laugh once the others are out of earshot, "Damn, I feel bad for Barnes, he's in over his head."

Clint nods in agreement, "I almost feel bad for Loki, he's being bombarded by his brother, the brains, and the muscle."

"Loki does not like people much, does he?" Wanda inquires, moving to sit next to Steve on the couch.

"He used to be okay, but it just kind of went downhill after (Y/N) left," Steve answers, looking at the younger woman sitting next to him, "I think (Y/N) will like you once she gets better, don't you think Tasha?"

"Yeah," Nat nods her head, standing up, "I'm going to go watch a movie, anyone wanna join?"

"I will," Sam stands up, "But this time, let's watch an actually good movie, not another rom-com."

Natasha and Sam walk away to the theater, "You loved Sleeping with Other People, don't lie."

Sam and Natasha's bickering fades as they walk further away.

Steve's attention turns back to Wanda, "You'll like (Y/N) too, she's a generally kind person, her mindset at the moment is just kind of messed up."

Wanda nods, "I'll take your word for it," they sit in silence for a few seconds before Wanda asks another question, "So Loki became hostile just because (Y/N) disappeared?"

"Yes and no," Clint answers, patting the couch so Max would come up on the couch, "Loki was gone for about a month right before (Y/N) got taken. He showed up a week before everything went to shit. I think part of it is that he was gone and didn't get to spend time with her and then she got taken."

Steve was about to add something when Friday comes on, "I have been programmed by Mr. Stark to inform all of you if Agent Barton is having any signs of suicidal thoughts or actions, and I regret to inform you that both of the following are happening right now."

Steve and Clint stare at each other in shock before jumping up and sprinting to your temporary room.

P.O.V. Switch

Loki is sitting alone in his room, reading one of his books and drinking some Midgardian whiskey, while Onyx is sleeping on his lap. The silence is interrupted by Friday, making an announcement;

"I have been programmed by Mr. Stark to inform all of you if Agent Barton is having any signs of suicidal thoughts or actions, and I regret to inform you that both of the following are happening right now."

Loki sits on his bed in shock for a few seconds before standing up quickly, knocking Onyx to the floor. He places the book face down on the bed and albeit drops the glass on his nightstand. Onyx meows in displeasure before hopping back up on the bed. Loki ignores his cat and rushes to the door, which has been closed for the past 4 days, he had not even left for food. If he got hungry, he just teleported to the kitchen quickly, grabbing what he needed, then disappearing once again. He pulls the door open and looks up and down the hall. He steps out and starts sprinting down the hallway when he realizes that he had no idea where they had put you. He slows down and then looks at the ceiling, "Friday, where is (Y/N)?"

"Keep going down this hallway, make a right, then it's the 5th door on the left," the AI answers.

Loki nods, then he begins sprinting again. The hallway forks less than a minute later, he turns right and counts doors, "1, 2, 3, 4, 5." Loki stops at the open door and peers inside.

P.O.V. Switch

Soldier, Red guy, and Blondie walk into the room, watching you carefully. You don't do anything other than sob and every once and a while whisper, "Please, just end it."

Soldier is the first to unfreeze, he turns to Blondie and Red guy, "Can one of you make sure anything in this room, no, everything in this base that could be used in a bad way be secured?"

"Sargent Barnes, I do believe you aren't the most stable person to be…" Red guy starts, looking over at you.

"Look, I know you haven't known me that long, but trust me, I know what I'm doing," Soldier turns and walks over to you. Blondie and Red guy look at each other before walking out of the room, "(Y/N), you can talk to me. I get that you don't trust any of us and that all of us could kill you, but trust me, I've been here, more than once, and talking helps."

You let out a sob, "I…there's just nothing to live for…I'm…I'm tired…and all those…people…"

"What do you mean?" Soldier asks, he sits on the floor across from you.

"I've…I've killed people…like…like that one girl…she was 5! And I murdered her out of cold blood!" you scream, tears streaming down your face.

Soldier stays silent for a few seconds, "Nightmare?"

"It…it was real…I did that! I…I asked Friday…and…I killed her…who knows…how many other…people are dead…because of me…" you let out a weak sob and then you let your head fall on your knees, "I…don't deserve to be alive…just…kill me…or give me a gun…please."

"I've killed a lot of people too," Soldier sighs, "The first one your remember it always the worst, and it always hurts when it's kid, and some days are worse than others, but you can get through it. When I first realized all of the crap that you're realizing, I tried to ignore it, but then one day it just broke and I almost jumped off a building, but then I realized I had someone pulling for me, I didn't know who at the time, but I just felt it. I knew I couldn't do it because it would hurt that one person so much. You just have to find that person, or just a small reason, like who's gonna read all those books on the shelf over there is you don't. You just need something to fight for, to keep you going."

You look up from your knees sniffling, "I don't have anything."

Suddenly, two people slide into the room. One was Steve, one was Clint. Soldier looks at them, then he turns back to you, "What about them?"

You shake your head, "Don't care enough about either of them, they're just people."

Soldier nods, "I get it," Soldier stands up, "I'm going to go grab someone, you stay here with them."

Soldier walks away and Steve and Clint come over and sit across from you, as Soldier had been doing, "Hey sis," Clint says cheerfully, though you could still hear the pitying tone underneath, "You want something?"

You laugh weakly, "A weapon? That'd be great."

Steve looks at you sadly, he wasn't as good as hiding his emotions, "(Y/N)...please, don't joke about it."

You snort, a few tears streaming down your tear-stained cheek, "I'm serious, you asked, I answered. I'm not joking."

Soldier enters the room with Black hair. Black hair looked a little worse for wear. He had a somber expression on his face, and his eyes were dull and empty, unlike the usual mischievous twinkle that you remember. You snort, great time to remember a tiny detail. Black hair's hair was poufy and Soldier was handing him a hair tie to pull it back. He was wearing regular clothes, which was strange compared to the last time you had seen him in the fancy armor of his. Black hair pulls his hair back and then walks over to the ever growing group of people around you. He does something different, though, instead of being cautious and sitting across from you, Black hair sits next to you, back against the bathroom door, legs spread out, and his bare feet almost touching Clint. He sighs and then looks at you, "Love, I know you don't know me, and frankly, I assume you want to kill me, but, at this moment, I won't force you to talk, or to not do anything, I'm here for you, even if you don't want me to be."

The room falls into silence, the only thing interrupting it is your sniffles. This man was different than the others, for some reason, he seemed to know what you wanted. You didn't want to hear people trying to stop you, you wanted someone to just say they were there and that was it. No fuss, and somehow, this man, who you don't remember, seemed to know that, and you appreciated it. Three people enter the room, Tony, an African American, and one with red hair. When she enters your breath hitches and you start sobbing again.

Black hair makes a displeased noise, "Love, what's wrong?"

"Red," you manage to say.

Soldier speaks, "Natasha, you gotta leave."

Red hair, no Natasha looks confused, "Why?"

"I'm not sure, but something with red hair, you have to leave, or you're gonna make it worse," Soldier explains, leading her out.

Your sobbing dies down and you realize how tired you are. But you don't want to fall asleep, you could remember more, you could realize you killed thousands of kids. Instead, you let go of your knees and stretch out your legs and silence reclaims the room.

A few minutes later, you feel yourself nodding off, you lean your head towards Black hair, but then your jerk up. Steve looks at you, "You can sleep, and we're here if anything happens."

You shake your head. Soldier enters the room again, "She doesn't want to," he explains, "She's afraid of more nightmares. Luckily, I thought ahead." Soldier walks over and opens his real palm, inside sat one white pill, "I went to Doctor Cho and asked her for this. It makes sure you have a dreamless sleep. I've had them before, so you can trust me when I say they actually work.

You take the pill and inspect it, normally you would make sure it wasn't poison, but at this point, you could care less. You put it in your mouth and dry swallow it. You lean back against the door and close your eyes. You feel someone picking you up and they move you to the bed. Your awareness then slowly fades and soon you fall into a dreamless ensured sleep.

P.O.V. Switch

The Avengers stay silent until they are sure you've fallen asleep. Clint leaves the room, muttering something about filling Tasha in. Sam leaves a few minutes after, announcing that he was gonna go make all of them some drinks because they deserved them, and Tony follows, saying that he has to make sure Birdbrains makes them right. That leaves Bucky, Steve and Loki alone in the room.

Loki moves the desk chair next to your bed and plants himself in it, observing you. Steve and Bucky sit in the other chairs in the room. No one talks until Bucky asks the question all of the Avengers had been wondering, "Where the hell have you been?"

Loki looks away from you momentarily before returning his eyes and speaking, "In my room, reading."

Bucky snorts, "Yeah, but seriously where the fuck have you been the past week?"

Loki licks his lips and considers the question, "I have been staying away."

"And why's that?" Steve questions, joining the questioning.

"Because," Loki sighs, "Because I have not been ready to face this," he nods towards your sleep forming, "I am overjoyed to have her back, yet terrified. Overjoyed because she is back and I know that no one can hurt her without going through us. Terrified because…well, because I'm afraid that I'll mess something up. It took me months to get all of you to trust me, and because she doesn't remember me, and doesn't know how I seem to change temper every minute, I might do something to make her hate me, and…I don't think I could live with that. And if I couldn't live with that, well, I would probably do something stupid and cause harm to those that I care about. And then everything would go downhill from there. One of you would be forced to kill me, and then she would have to deal with the pain, again, and it wouldn't go away until she died."

Steve and Bucky sit there is silence stunned. Steve bites his lip, "Well if it helps, I think you're doing a pretty good job."

Bucky nods in agreement, "I think you gave her what she needed, someone who just said they were there, but didn't do anything, you left her alone unless she needed something. Some people need that kind of thing, but other people need the attention. And you know her well enough to know what she likes and doesn't like," Bucky pauses and then swallows, "And sorry to bring you down, but honestly, I think if you hadn't been here, she would be here."

Loki nods slowly, "I do believe you are correct," you reaches out and places his hand on top of yours, "I am truly sorry that I locked myself in my room. If I hadn't, we wouldn't be sitting here now."

"Well, you're here now," Steve replies, looking at your sleeping form, "And I think that's all that matters."

There's chapter 35! Sorry, it took so long to write! And I hope this wasn't too dark and that none of you think I'm psychotic *nervous laughter* Anyway, as always if you guys have any requests just send 'em to me! That's all for now!

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters used expect (Y/N) the rest belong to Marvel.