Shepard led them down the stairs to the area under Zhu's Hope. Bourne seemed especially affected by Fai Dan's death, and the fact he'd been a split second too late to stop it. Shepard was as well, but some part of her knew that they'd been lucky it had only been a single death. One colonist out of the group; it was still too many.

Shepard got to the bottom of the stairs and had to fight back vomit. She had never experienced a worse smell. Ashley's face said the same, but Bourne didn't seem to notice. He was too busy staring at the giant… thing in the center of the chamber. Tali apparently couldn't smell it through her suit.

"Now we just need to find this Thorian creature and determine what it… what it…" She trailed off , as she finally came in view of the mass of tentacles and roots hanging before them. "Keelah, what is that?"

Shepard realized her jaw had dropped open, and closed it. She just stared at it a moment . "That is a…very big plant. This could be…problematic."

"Anybody bring weed killer?" Ashley asked jokingly.

Bourne shook his head, looking away from the creature. "I don't care how big or ugly it is." He drew his pistol, shooting at a one of the tentacles suspending the thing. A few drops of green liquid fell to the floor. "It bleeds. That means we can kill it." He moved towards it, and Shepard only barely heard what he muttered. "Where's a Spitfire when you need one?"

Shepard wondered at that, but decided to just ask later, if ever. Chances are, I don't want to know.

As they moved closer, part of the creature opened up. The tentacles split, dripping liquid onto the ground, almost like a womb opening to give birth. Shepard gasped as an Asari dropped from the creature. She was even more amazed as she realized that she was green, not blue or purple like she should have been. Bourne's eyes glowed with potential biotic power, though they didn't manifest yet.

The asari spoke in a monotone voice, like someone hypnotized. "Invaders! Your every step is a transgression. A thousand feelers appraise you as meat. Good only to dig or decompose"

"Just meat? I'd think I'd at least be a choice cut." Bourne muttered to himself distractedly.

"I speak for the old growth, as I did for Saren. You are within and before the Thorian! It commands that you be in awe."

"And that's why I don't mess around with mind controlling plants. I like having skin that isn't green. I've heard it isn't easy being green."

Shepard wheeled on him. "Bourne, shut the hell up!" His eyes widened slightly and dimmed; the extent of the surprise he'd show. He quickly hid it, though an amused smile remained. I can't believe I actually let him get a reaction from me.

She turned back to the Asari, if that's still what she was. "You gave something to Saren. Something we need."

"Saren sought to find knowledge of those that are gone. The old growth listened to flesh for the first time in the long cycle, and a deal was made. Then cold ones began killing the flesh that would tend the next cycle. The old growth knows the air you push as lies. It will listen no more."

Bourne stepped forward, keeping one foot ahead of the other, a combat stance. "Here's something you can be sure isn't a lie. Let the colonists go, or I'll turn you into mulch. And that's only for starters." His eyes smoldered like blue coals.

"No more will the Thorian listen to those that scurry."

Bourne got a resigned look on his face, yet his jaw was set determinedly. Shepard tensed, ready to move as soon as he did whatever he was obviously planning.

"Your lives are short, but have gone on too long!"

Bourne flicked his wrist, sending a knife Shepard hadn't even seen flying into the Asari's throat.

She stood still a moment, then fell to the ground. "Funny. I was about to say something similar." Bourne deadpanned, drawing his pistol and taking aim at the creatures that sprung to life without warning. It was too close for Shepard to use her sniper rifle, so she settled with her shotgun instead, albeit reluctantly. Bourne rushed into a group, his barrier offering extra protection. A moment later he was forced to fall back as he was swarmed by a group of them.

"Form up! We're going to be surrounded!" Shepard shouted. Ashley and Tali moved beside her, the three of them forming a triangle, best for fighting off the enemies on all sides.

Bourne moved in a moment later. He threw biotic attacks in every direction, scattering the creatures if it didn't kill them directly.

"Anybody got a plan?" Ashley shouted over the gun fire.

"Don't die." Bourne replied, throwing a singularity into a group. "Other than that, I'm open to suggestions."

"Not the time Bourne." Shepard shot back, blasting a group apart with an explosive shot. "We need to bring this thing down."

"Well we aren't going to do it by staying here." Bourne tossed something else out to detonate the singularity then holstered his pistol.

"What are you doin-" Bourne cut her off by clapping his hands, launching a ball of energy that tore a hole in the wall of the creatures.

Bourne grabbed his shotgun from his hip. "Making a path. Come on, this thing has to have a weakness."

He rushed through the opening he had created, into another chamber. The narrow doorway forced the creatures to come at them in smaller groups that were easily handled by their four shotguns.

Shepard realized a moment later that Bourne was ignoring the threat and shooting what looked like a root attached to the wall. Shepard turned her head his way to get his attention again, and was immediately knocked to the ground.

Ashley and Tali tried to get to her, but were forced back by the horde. Shepard looked up at one of the creatures, and was surrounded by a blue glow, unable to move. She barely had time to register this before the thing opened its mouth and spewed a green substance all over her, only to be held off by the field.

The creature fell in a blast of pale flesh and Shepard was suddenly released from the field. She couldn't hold back a sigh of relief as the onslaught of the nightmarish ghouls ended.

"Do me a favor Shepard, and try not to do that next time." Bourne said with mock exasperation, turning back to the root.

Shepard got to her feet. "I wouldn't have done that if you were over here watching our backs. Why in hell were you shooting at that root instead of the things that were attacking us?"

Bourne shot the thing again in response, and Shepard was surprised by a moan of pain from the bulbous center of the organism.

"You treat the symptoms and leave the source, you die. These things aren't just for show; we take enough of these out, it's going to cause some damage." Bourne headed up the stairs, calling back "We should probably keep moving before more of those creepers show up and knock you on your ass again."

"Jason, next time I go anywhere with you, you're paying."

"Yeah, I'll keep that in mind Ash."

Bourne.

(Do you have any sort of plan at all?)

)Kill this thing, what else?( For once Iron's words didn't distract me, they kept me focused. It allowed me to ignore anything that wasn't important and kept my accuracy razor sharp. One of the few good things about him.

(You're saying there's more than one?)

)No.( I rolled to the side of the creatures, lining up a lucky shot that took down several creepers bunched together. Now on the second level, I sprinted towards a neural node, only to fall back as waves of creepers assaulted me.

(Well, since another of my negatives is being blunt, what do you do if Shiala finds anything she isn't supposed to? If you let your silly morals get in the way…) he let the rest unspoken; it didn't need to be said.

I took a moment to hurl a singularity and buy myself some breathing room before replying. )That happens, I slit her throat as soon as she separates and claim she burned the vision out of my head when she tried to kill me. Also means that Liara won't need to meld with me and put herself at risk.(

Iron was silent a moment, which suited me fine. Shepard and the others caught up to me. This time I hung back and let them do the heavy fighting, supporting them with singularities and picking off any creepers that rose behind them.

( That isn't a bad plan) He grudgingly admitted. (But what about Raptor? It matters little whether we, you get the Cipher, but she needs it. Unless you'd rather just blurt out exactly where the Conduit is.)

)Even if that was actually a good idea, that relay is lost, remember? Have to get the location from Noveria either way.(

I shot a group of them, then explained)I volunteer saying that it's risky, then she overrides me and makes me let her go first, which I grudgingly let her. Or so she thinks. She's really just playing into my hands.(

(You've given this some thought.)

)I was stuck in bed for a couple of days without much to do but laze around or plan. I'd have been an idiot to not plan.(

(As opposed to…?)

)As opposed to just making it up as I go.(

(Worked pretty well for me.)

)…when was the last time you looked in a mirror?(

I realized with a jolt that Shepard and the others had taken down another node and moved on ahead. I sprinted to catch up. I caught up to them as Shepard rolled to the side, and I barely had time to swear before a ball of Biotic energy ran into me, knocking me on my ass.

"I thought I killed that Bitch already." I growled, getting back to my feet, and throwing a biotic bolt of my own at her. She was knocked back and quickly taken out by the others.

(You know that there's going to be more of them?)

)I know.( I replied as I moved up, still covering their backs. I just hope it's only green Asari I'll be killing today.

Shepard.

Can't believe Bourne is actually hanging back instead of being up here. She raised her shotgun and fired the carnage blast at the root. It took another normal burst for it to fall though.

"How many of these things have we taken out?" Bourne asked as he rushed up to them, throwing a singularity over his shoulder.

"Three." Shepard said, turning to help him take the creatures down.

"Surely this creature can't withstand much more." Tali said, though there was doubt in her tone. There wasn't any doubt in the way she handled her shotgun though. Her tech skills had been handy earlier against the geth, but in this situation it would have been better to have Garrus or Kaiden, who backed their tech skills with Biotics or gun skill.

"I just hope this thing dies soon. It's going to take me forever to get the smell out of my hair" Ashley joked.

"Hey, at least you didn't get puked on like Shepard." Bourne said with a grin.

His grin faded as he took down several with of the creatures with blasts to their heads.

Shepard only registered this in the very back of her mind though, since at that moment, another green asari showed up. "Bourne, duck!"

He rolled to the side, barely avoiding a warp field. He stood back up to counter attack, but then was flung against the wall and fell to the ground on his knees.

Shepard sighted in on the Asari's head, but her blasts were deflected off of her opponent's shields. She kept firing, until a warning sounded, signifying that her shotgun had overheated. She rolled to the side as the Asari fired her own gun.

Ashley hit her with a burst of rifle fire, but the shields still stayed up. Shepard backed up, hoping to get her to rush forward and then flank her, only to realize she was backed against a sheer drop. If I fall, I'm a stain on the ground.

The Asari raised her gun, her face still expressionless, then glowed blue. Shepard tensed, ready for the inevitable blast that would send her to her death, but none came. The creatures stopped coming as well. Then Shepard realized that the blue of the Biotics surrounding the Asari were the wrong shade.

Bourne got to his feet, only his hands glowing apart from his eyes. He walked up the motionless Asari and pressed his shotgun against her head.

"Shepard, move."

Shepard got away from the edge hurriedly. Bourne ended the field and pulled the trigger, but a wave of energy flew from the Asari's hands at where she'd been standing.

She shook herself, willing away the sense of near-death. She was a soldier, and had faced death too many times to count. She was embarrassed that it had shaken her this time.

Then she thought of Liara, who she'd have left behind, and forced back a shiver. "Thanks."

"Think of it as payback for Therum." Bourne replied, his mind somewhere else. "This thing can't last much longer. I bet if we take this one out, it'll finish the job.

Loading a carnage shot, Shepard leveled her gun at the node, and pulled the trigger.

She was startled as the very ground shook. Moans of pain filled the air as tendrils snapped or were dragged from the walls. That was nothing like the sound of the Thorian hitting the ground far below; like a billion snapping bones, and sickening wet crunch.

Even with all she had been through, it still made Shepard want to hurl.

She instinctively raised her gun at the sound of movement to her left. Bourne turned to the sound as well, shotgun aimed from the hip. His head hung slightly with exhaustion, not that Shepard could blame him. He'd probably only rarely used his Biotics as much in one day as he had just now.

Shepard turned her attention back the sound, seeing a pod opening like a cocoon. Even stranger, the Asari that immerged from the pod was a dead ringer for the Asari Bourne had killed. The only difference was the lack of green skin.

"I'm free" She said disbelievingly. "I'm free!" She only then seemed to notice the group. Bourne looked at her with an unreadable expression, though he seemed on edge. Though considering he killed two things that looked just like her, I can understand why he'd be weirded out by her.

"I suppose I should thank you for releasing me."

"Are you ok?" Shepard asked, putting away her gun. Ashley looked at her like she was crazy, but did the same. Bourne put his gun away, and crossed his arms; Shepard would have bet almost anything that he slid a knife into each hand, even if she couldn't see them.

"Yes. Or I will be in time anyway. My name is Shialla. I serve…" she looked at the ground, rephrasing it. "I served Matriarch Benezia."

Bourne held up a hand, cutting her off. "Let me guess. When she teamed up with Saren, you went along with her."

"Benezia foresaw the path Saren would take, and tried to force him down a gentler one." She said evenly. "Saren is compelling. She underestimated his influence."

"Are you saying Saren can control minds?" Shepard asked with a bit of sarcasm.

"We came to believe in his cause and his goals. The strength of his influence is troubling."

"Sounds to me like the plan backfired." Bourne commented. "Spend enough time around a snake and you're bound to be poisoned one way or another."

Shepard shook her head, not quite believing the Asari but her gut telling her it was true. It was in the way she said it; she believed it utterly and completely.

But just because she believed it was true, didn't mean it was. Liara had taught her much about Asari culture, just as Shepard had talked about Humanity. "Asari Matriarchs are among the smartest and most powerful beings in the galaxy. How could Saren manipulate her so easily?" Shepard hoped it was like that, with Benezia being a victim.

"Saren has a vessel, an enormous flagship larger than anything I have ever seen. He calls it Sovereign."

"Ominous." Ashley said dryly.

"Then it is well named. It can dominate the mind of his followers."

"How?" Shepard asked desperately. "Erasing their minds and replacing them? Controlling their thoughts? "

The others just stared at her. "You've been watching too many vids Shepard." Bourne said after a moment.

Shialla shook her head. "It is more subtle than that. It can take days, even weeks. In the end though, it is absolute. Those indoctrinated come to believe in Saren and his goals, even as they think the goals are their own. To them, Saren can do no wrong."

"So then, how did you end up trapped in a plant?" Ashley said, still skeptical.

"Saren brought me to this world so I could communicate with the Thorian, learn its secrets. Saren offered me in trade. I was sacrificed to secure an alliance."

"Like he said, bad idea to spend time around snakes." Ashley said.

"Saren's pretty quick to betray his followers. Not all that surprising if you ask me." Bourne said, arms still crossed, but he seemed more relaxed now.

"He was quick to betray the Thorian too."

"Let me guess. He ordered the flashlight heads to kill it so we couldn't get whatever he got."

Shepard resisted the urge to roll her eyes at his term for the Geth.

"Yes. He knows you are following him, trying to find the conduit before he does. He attacked the Thorian so that neither one of you could gain the cipher."

"Cipher?" Shepard asked.

"The Beacon on Eden Prime gave the two of you visions." It wasn't a question. "But they were unclear, confusing. They were meant for a Prothean mind."

"Just my luck I had to be born a human." He grinned. "See what I did there? Bourne a human?"

Ashley slugged his shoulder, and received a mock hurt look in response.

"You are correct in part. To understand the Visions, you must think like a Prothean, be able to understand their history, their culture, their very existence."

"And this Cipher can somehow allow them to do that?" Tali guessed.

"Yes. I cannot explain any more than I could explain sight to a creature without eyes. It is simply the very essence of being a Prothezn. I sensed the ancestral memory when I melded with the Thorian. It watched them, and absorbed their minds when they died."

"So you taught Saren how to think like a Prothean, and understand the vision." Shepard said.

"It cannot be taught, it simply exists."

"But you transferred it to him via mind meld?" Bourne said, somewhat impatiently.

"Yes. And I can do the same for you."

Bourne stepped forward. "Then do it. We might not have much time."

Shepard held out an arm to stop him. "I want to believe you, but there's no real guarantee that we can trust you." She turned to face him. "I'm not letting you take that risk Bourne." Still, Shepard hesitated. Mind melding like this wasn't as…personal as what she and Liara had done, but the idea still left a bad taste in her mouth.

Bourne stared at her a moment, then nodded. "I don't like this, but alright." his face was dark, clearly not happy with what he was having to do.

Shepard stepped forward, barely hearing her words of guidance, trying to focus on the vision.

"Embrace eternity!"

I fought back a sigh as Shaila finally just melded and stopped with the philosophy. Ashley and Tali waited, tense, but I was even more so.

If I messed this up, I'd have no option but to kill her.

(Will you stop dwelling on that? You're giving me a headache, and I don't even have an actual head anymore!)

)Excuuuuuuuse me for having a conscious.(

(That conscious is going to get you killed Pinocchio. And that's not the reason I care. If you're dwelling about the fact that you might kill her when she melds, don't you think she might notice?)

I grimaced, knowing he had a point. I forced myself to think about the vision; the one I actually had, not the one I'd seen on a TV.

"You ok Skipper?"

Ashley's voice brought me back to the present. "I'm fine. I think. I saw that vision again, but it still didn't make much sense."

"You have been given the memories of an entire people, a great gift. It will take time for your mind to adjust." Shiala said.

"You look kind of pale Shepard. You sure you're ok?"

Shepard shook her head. "I'll be fine." Her tone made Ashley drop it.

I stepped forward. "Now give it to me." Shiala stepped forward, but I held a hand up. "Two things first." My voice became deathly cold. "Get in, give me the Cipher, than get back out. You do any unnecessary rooting around in my head-" I put a hand on my belt knife "-and I'll slit your throat without a second thought."

She paled slightly, but nodded. "It is not my intention to invade the privacy of your past. I will only join our minds enough to transfer the Cipher."

"Just so we're clear." I took my hand off of the knife.

(You know, if you're that fucking worried about, just skip the damn Cipher and leave it to Raptor. It isn't worth having to hear you moping for god knows how long. )

)Not an option. I get the feeling reality wouldn't let me skip it. And even if I did… it's not a bad idea to have a backup plan in case something happens to her. Better safe than sorry (

(In that case, you'd be risking discovery just as surely.)

)If it got to that point where it was the only way to find it, it'd mean the Reapers would be coming. Personally, I'd rather not get wiped out by them.(

I turned my attention back to her. "Try to Relax. Reach out to grasp the-"

"Yeah, that's the other thing. Just skip the Philosophy lesson and do it before I change my mind."

"Very well." her eyes closed, then opened, pitch black. "Embrace eternity!"

I felt another mind sliding across mine, but not Iron's this time. For a moment, we were separate. Then, we were one. I was still me, but it was like I was her as well.

It really can't be explained. I saw snatches of her life mixed in along the vision, but I kept my focus solely on the vision. I didn't let a single thought of my past enter the vision. The sheer will required to keep focus on a single thing left my mind feeling almost drained. Thousands of years of history flowed before me, yet I couldn't think about any image for more than second. I had to immediately focus on the next image. It felt like an eternity when it finally ended, and I collapsed to my knees.

Tali

Tali bit her lip, though nobody else could see it. Bourne had been standing there much longer than Shepard had. His body was held so much differently as well. Shepard had been like a statue; tense, but still and tranquil.

He stood on tiptoe, body tensing and then relaxing, his eyes opening and shutting wildly. His Biotics flickered around him

Ashley paced nervously, her eyes never leaving him for a moment. Shepard looked slightly pale, but only because Tali had gotten used to her skin tone. Otherwise she wouldn't have noticed.

"Are you sure they're ok?" Ashley finally asked Shepard. Tali didn't blame her.

" Bourne's mind is probably resisting even more than mine did. It's not something that can be rushed."

Ashley shook her head. "I still say we should try to get their attention."

"It wouldn't work. And even if it did, the process might leave their minds in tatters; leave them with fragments of each other. Liara's told me that it's happened before."

Ashley turned back with a look clearly of despair, and kept pacing.

Tali was starting to feel like doing the same. It was hard for her to not be moving, doing something to contribute.

Suddenly Bourne's body twitched and shuddered, and he fell to his knees, gasping for breath.

Ashley was at his side in a second. "Jason! Are you ok?"

He got to his feet slowly, with Ashley having to half support him. "Never better." He managed to say with a grin that became a grimace. "I get headaches that make my head feel like it's been split open five times a day."

Even Tali could tell he was joking. I'd have noticed if that happened. Right?

The Asari averted her eyes. "I am sorry if you suffered, but there was no other way. You needed the Cipher to stop Saren."

Bourne nodded. "Yeah, I know. Just remind me to never, ever do anything like that again."

He almost collapsed again.

Ashley drew her pistol and pointed it at the Asari. "What did you do to him?"

Bourne weakly tried to lower her arm. "It's not her Ash, it's me... wow, that didn't come out right at all." Ashley moved her eyes in a circle, and Tali looked around to see what she was looking at.

"I'm not used to using my Biotics as much as I did against those things. I'd be halfway on my ass anyway."

Ashley hesitated, and Bourne gently grabbed her arm. "Put the gun away. I'm supposed to be the loose cannon around here."

Ashley shot the Asari another death glare but she put her gun away.

Shepard moved to grab his other arm, throwing it over her shoulder.

He shooed her away. "I'm fine." Tali noticed that his knees trembled as he said this, but she decided to just stay quiet. Male pride is the same in any species. Even Garrus didn't want my help on the Mako at first. Though he seems much more willing to let me help now.

Sheppard shook her head. "We should have Chakwas take a look at you."

"But do we do about her?" Tali asked.

"If you will allow it, I would like to stay here and help the colonists. They have suffered greatly, and I played a role in that. I wish to make amends."

Shepard turned back to her. "The colonists will be glad for the extra hand."

"Especially since I had to kill that Exo-Geni guy that was dumb enough to-" Bourne's words were cut off as he held a hand to head and groaned. "Ugh. Someone want to turn the sun down or something?"

"Come on, let's get you back to the Ship." Ashley said, half supporting him, half dragging him.

"I'll be back to talk to you later." Shepard said, and Tali couldn't tell whether she meant it as a threat.

Bourne.

It was sheer agony to even think; I didn't understand why this was affecting me so much more than the Vision had.

I tried to think it out, hard as it was. I needed to know sooner than later. Shepard looks a little pale, but not so bad overall. Why is it affecting me so much more strongly? It's like a vicegrip is squeezing on my head.

"Come on, stay with me Jason" Ashley said as she helped me up the stairs towards the Normandy.

I groaned in response. Normally I'd have resented having to be half carried, but I was in too much pain to care at the moment.

I must have blacked out; the next thing I was aware of was Joker's voice.

"Jeez Lt, you look like shit."

I managed a smile. "Joker, you had really better hope I think that this I just a pain induced hallucination later. In fact, if you weren't so fragile, I'd have punched so hard the grandkids you'd never had would have had their first word be oww. And that's before the Biotics kicked in."

"Bourne, can you please shut up for once?" Shepard asked exasperatedly. I guess the Cipher must be affecting her too, but less than me? Why?

It was something to consider as I went down the stairs to the medbay. The Vision hardly did anything to me at all; it was the blast that ended up knocking me on my ass. I was prepared for that though.

So maybe this is affecting me because I'm not really as strong willed as Shepard? There was no way to brace for this.

Suddenly Chakwas was standing over me, somehow managing to look worried about me and pissed at me with the same expression. She helped Ashley lower me onto a cot.

"You realize that this is the third mission in the row that I've had to patch you up after?" she said as she scanned me a few times with her Omni-tool.

Tali shifted nervously. For god's sake, if she blames herself for this somehow, I'm going to be pissed off.

I shook my head, trying to clear it.

"Hey, at least he has you to patch him up." Shepard said. "How long you think he'll be like this?"

Chakwas looked at a few readings and frowned. "Hard to say. I don't see anything wrong with him physically. Did something happen out there?"

Shepard quickly explained about the Cipher, while Chakwas listened with pursed lips. "Hmm. If that's the case, I'd guess that it somehow caused the same sort of reaction as L2 implants; it looks like a migrane to me."

I didn't know much about migranes, but I guess she was right. Wait, If Kaiden gets migranes most of the time…I must not have had my usual poker face as she quickly spoke up.

"Your implants aren't L-2s, so it should fade before long; it's probably just a physical reaction to the mental stress you're under right now."

Shepard motioned for Tali and Ashley. "You stay here and relax. We're going to head back out and see if I can get anything more out of Shiala."

I nodded. Then I glanced around the medbay and grimaced. I had spent too much time in here recently. "Not that I don't appreciate your company doc, I think I'm going to head to my quarters and lay down there." Plus I won't have to pretend to not notice Liara and Shepard doing things that I'll never be able to get the images of out my head…goddamnit, I had enough of a headache before I had to think of that!

"I suppose there's not much I'd be able to do here anyway. Like I said, you probably just need to sleep it off."

Ashley hesitated, but after a glance at me, she followed Shepard. The pain in my head had receded enough to make my way to my Quarters and collapse. I removed my gear and lazily piled it against the wall. Screw it. I'll store in my locker later. Not like anybody's going to be dumb enough to steal from me on this ship.

A flash of movement in the mirror caught my eye. I turned to it, and immediately wheeled around. But the room was empty. I felt a cold chill in my gut. It hadn't been the movement that attracted my eye, but the crimson glow that had shone out of two sunken eye sockets. Iron.

I didn't feel Iron in my head, but I didn't try this time. I just collapsed on my bed. It must just be the Cipher screwing with my head. Maybe I 'saw' some sort of ancestral memory and just happened to think it was Iron. I actually managed to almost convince myself.

I just lay there, my head throbbing in rhythm, looking at the sleek surface of the ceiling. I didn't find any answers though.

A knock on the door caught my attention, and almost slid a knife into my hand before I realized I didn't have any now. I shook away the left over worry about Iron. I got up and went to answer, figuring it'd be Chakwas or Ashley checking on me.

Instead, I opened the door and was surprised to find Kaiden standing there. He looked just as surprised to see me.

He hastily snapped a salute. "Lt. Bourne! Sir."

I just stared at him resignedly. "FYI, we're the same rank, so you really don't have to do that. And calling me Lt. Bourne is now the best way to have me toss you out the airlock.

He lowered it. "Force of habit. And your Spectre Stasis means you technically outrank me."

I sooooooo did not want to make small talk with this head ache. And that would have been with someone I didn't know was destined to die. "Is there a reason you're here?" I asked, trying to be assertive without being rude. I really ended up just sounding like a dick.

"I could say the same to you. I thought that this was Shepard's room." he said evenly, keeping a lid on his temper. He tensed in all the ways I would when I talked to the council, just slightly more evident. I was impressed despite myself.

"Was. We traded. Co-commander has privileges. "

"Traded?" He asked confused.

"Again, reason that you're here?"

"I heard Shepard was onboard and saw that the door to her quarters was locked. I guess there're really your quarters. You know where she went?"

"She and the other two headed back out to see if they could get some information."

"Thanks." He seemed to hesitate, then asked "So do you know where she's been bunking now that she gave you that room?"

"I don't know anything if I'm smart." I said with a smirk. "But I'd guess it's that room behind the medbay." It was a moment before I remembered her firm admonishment- or demand- not to let anyone else know about her and Liara.

He looked shocked. "Behind the medbay? As in sharing a room with Dr. Tsoni?"

I hesitated, which apparently was answer enough.

He looked at the ground, then shook his head. "I don't know why I ever thought she'd…" He trailed off, but I could guess.

I wanted this conversation over, but I kinda felt for the guy under the circumstances. "What do you mean?"

"It's nothing Bourne, don't worry." I could read volumes in that sentence.

"Let me guess. You feel something for Shepard, and she accidently made you think that she felt the same way."

He looked up in shock. That maaaaaay not have been the smartest thing to say. Damn headache!

"That's one way to put it. I noticed them in the backseat of the aircar on the citadel, but I guessed that they had just become friends."

"They did. Trouble is, there's another part in front of that word. And it starts with a G."

He shook his head. "I'm going to go talk to her."

"She's not even on the ship."

"I know."

I crossed my arms. "You think she led you on?" I guessed.

This time it was him who hesitated.

"I'll take that as a yes. Look, I'm sorry for you. But to be brutally honest, it was probably your imagination. I've seen how she looks at Liara, and I've seen how she looks at you. Not even close."

Kaiden shifted on his feet. "I guess you're right. I still feel like I should talk to her though, even if it's just to clear the air."

I felt a twinge of guilt, but I ignored it as I said "I hate to say this, but I think it might be best if you kept it to yourself. Shepard took a little while to accept… well Asari aren't quite 'women' according to her, but you get the idea."

"What's your point?"

"If you give her an out, she might take it just because she thinks it'd be more socially acceptable and reflect better on the Alliance. And you'd both wonder if she chose you just for that reason. She has something with Liara, but I don't think you and her share that same spark."

I put a hand on his shoulder, though it took a lot of will power not to flinch. "I haven't known Shepard long, but I consider her a friend. I don't want to see her hurt." Almost everything else I'd said had been lie, but that was the honest truth. I wasn't a noble hero like her; I'd rather her lose Kaiden then me lose Ashley. But if I could spare her that by letting her and Liara find happiness, I would. I almost expected Iron to say something, but I guessed that he was scheming.

He shook my hand off of my shoulder, but I let him. "Maybe you're right. I'll think about it."

He walked over to his console, obviously taking it hard.

Then the full reality of what had just happened hit me. Not only am I going to kill him, I basically just killed his hopes and dreams.

I'm a bigger monster than Iron.

The truth was hard, but I forced myself to rationalize it as the lesser of two evils. It was done with good intentions, even if it caused him suffering. I lowered myself to the bed. Maybe that's why my head is so aching. Karma.

I made myself grin, even as I grit my teeth at myself for the dark joke. What is wrong with me?

I had wished before, even if it was only in the back of my mind, that I could suddenly be transported back to safety in front of my X-box. Now though, were I given the option, I'd have refused. I'd done far too much to just leave now. And I'd lose Ashley.

I slumped on the bed. Bad enough I've lost my whole family and all my friends, but I can't lose Ashley too.

The Universe must have wanted me for a reason. It didn't want any distractions for me. It erased the important parts of my life so I wouldn't want to go back.

For the first time in my new body, I wept. I shed tears for memories lost, and for losses to come. I shed tears for my victims, those I couldn't save because it would mean more deaths.

I shed tears for a family I could no longer remember. For friends I couldn't even recall the faces of.

Jason Bourne had proven to be a very accurate name.

Hey, extra chapter because why not? And because I think I'm getting faster at changing stuff.
Of course my busiest season of the year is coming up, so who knows how that'll change things, but I'm trying to look on the bright side.
See you the usual time on Sunday/Monday

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