Song: Let Me Go is by 3 Doors Down, I do not own it.

Songs for Daddy

Chapter 34: Let Me Go

"Do you have everything?" Emiko asked.

"Yes."

"Are you sure?" Emiko looked extra serious.

"Yes."

"Okay." Emiko nodded once, certain. "Good luck, Papa!"

"Thank you."

A hug.

"I'll watch over her, you be careful out there." Anezaki had informed him with a smile.

"Aren't I always?"

And here he was opening the door to a locker room he hadn't been in inside of in over six years. He took a good breath and put on his usual overly confident grin and opened the door, marching right inside without any hesitation. Several of his old teammates jumped and gasped like they'd seen a ghost.

In a sense they just had. But Hiruma only eyed them cryptically before walking over to his own locker and preparing for practice like he always had. There wasn't any whispering, these people knew better. Looking down at his hand, Hiruma realized he was still wearing Chizue's ring. He put it on when she'd gone into labor and hadn't taken it off since.

Suppressing the shiver Chizue's gaze should had given him, Hiruma pulled out the golden chain he'd always used to hold Chizue's ring back when she was alive. The ring came off much easier than he thought it would and Chizue's gaze and presence was gone again when it was off. Maybe that'd been the source of his issues? That ring?

He put it around his neck, earning confused looks from a few of his teammates. Then he expertly put on and secured all of his pads. He grumpily taped up his ankles, wishing faintly Anezaki had been there to do it for him. Finally he pulled on his uniform, looking every bit like the player he was.

"Ah, Youichi-kun," Kurokawa Makoto, the Babies' coach, greeted Hiruma, "we're going to start you with a 40-yard dash and a bench press." Kurokawa was half American, having very western coloring on a very eastern body. He was a pretty short man, but he understood football extremely well. He never raised his voice and got angry, but because he was so nice you kind of felt obligated to do whatever he asked you to, even if said thing was '100 sit-ups'. Hiruma had always liked that aspect about him and he also had learned a great deal about the game from the man, so Hiruma respected him a great deal.

"Yes sir." Hiruma nodded. He'd been asked to not come to practice while he did some strengthening training on his own, to get his old body back into shape for the game. Kurokawa had been very understanding about Emiko too, having a son of his own. In fact he told Hiruma to keep his cell phone on and the ringer high. The same way he casually told Hiruma to run five kilometers everyday for a week.

Which Hiruma had done without complaint.

After Hiruma left the locker room and made his way out towards the field, he heard the locker room burst into hurried whispers. Kurokawa was still in there so Hiruma highly doubted much was going to happen.

"Nice water bottle." Takekura commented, a bemused smile on his face as he eyed the object in Hiruma's hands. Emiko had drawn on a red water bottle for Hiruma to use, to remind him she was rooting for him back home. Being a loving father, Hiruma had thought it was extremely fucking cute and took it with him.

"'Course it's nice." Hiruma smiled, taking a little drink out of it. He had a daughter back home who loved him to pieces, what's not to like?

"'Rice Bowl for sure, ya-ha!'" Takekura read out loud. There were Devil Bats on the bottle too and a little picture of Emiko giving a victory sign. Very cute.

"Just a little reminder failure isn't an option, fucking old man." Hiruma told his friend. On the top of the bottle it said 'Property of Papa, No Touching!'

"So what's on your list of assignments?" Takekura asked more seriously as he fell into place beside Hiruma.

"A dash and press." Hiruma answered.

"Makes sense." Takekura nodded.

"Fucking Coach isn't an idiot," Hiruma reminded Takekura, "of course it'll make fucking sense."

"Mind if I watch you?" Takekura requested. Hiruma shook his head, not minding at all.

Crunch.

Hiruma's eyes shot open, the feel of grass beneath his spikes startling him. It was familiar sensation, of course, but he hadn't realized he'd forgotten what that felt like. Shaking his head to clear it and regain his composure, Hiruma couldn't shake the feeling he was walking in a dream. The smells, the sounds, the sights, all were familiar, but not at the same time.

Takekura watched over his friend carefully. Hiruma's eyes were looking around at everything, trying to take it all in at once, just like Emiko did. He had that childish awed look on his face, much like Emiko's, like he'd just been taken to a brand new place.

"Hiruma!" Kurita came running over; his foot falls booming as he went. Snapping back to reality, Hiruma turned around only to get hugged by his long time friend. Kurita, to no one's surprise, was crying.

"You're back! You're really back!" Kurita cried an amazing smile on his face.

"Kurita, you should let him breathe." Takekura reminded the excited lineman causally. Hiruma let out a loud gasp when Kurita finally let go, breathing now. Making a witty comeback was impossible after that kind of hug, so Hiruma only gave Kurita a small smack on the shoulder pads and an honest smile.

"Gotta run a fucking dash fatty," Hiruma told Kurita, "is it set up?"

"Oh, yeah, over there." Kurita pointed at the cones on the left side of the field. One of the many nameless assistant coaches was standing at the other end, clocking times. He nodded and jogged over, warming up a bit before he got clocked himself. There was a new kid, who was complaining to the assistant coach about warming up.

"-doesn't really do anything!" The guy ranted.

"How long have you been playing fucking newbie?" Hiruma asked the guy dryly before the assistant could say anything.

"Newbie!? Don't you know who I am!?" The guy turned around and roared, only to pale when he recognized Hiruma and Hiruma's disapproving frown.

"No and I don't fucking care." Hiruma answered. "Shut up, warm up, or I'll blow your sorry ass right into next Tuesday, got it fucking newbie?"

"Y-yes." The guy stood up straight and looked honestly frightened. Hiruma clicked his tongue once and went back to warming up. A few jogs up and down then stretches. He was still limber and flexible like he was in high school because he always kept up on the stretching. The other guy was warming up now too, but he was also a bundle of nerves. This led Hiruma to correctly assume he was one of the guy's role models.

"Are you ready now, Hiruma-san?" The assistant asked.

"Hell yeah." Hiruma smirked and readied himself for a sprint. He'd gotten down to 5.0 seconds before he left but he'd probably gotten slower in the years he'd been away.

Bang!

And with the crack of the signal pistol, Hiruma was running. Running on the field as a player, it made him extremely happy and light hearted. How could he have possibly forgotten how fun football was?

"4.86 seconds!" The assistant cried, obviously surprised and amazed.

"What?" Hiruma marched right over. "You're shitting me!"

"N-no I timed you right." The assistant showed Hiruma the stop watch.

"That's a 1.24 second difference are you fucking sure its right?" Hiruma was dreaming, he had to be!

"If he timed it right, he timed it right, Youichi-kun." Kurokawa remarked as he walked up to the two startled men. "And I believe I know just the reason as to why."

"The reason?" Both Hiruma and the assistant echoed.

"You've been chasing after a hyperactive child these past few years, does wonders to your sprinting ability." Kurokawa grinned. "Now your bench press is what'll be low and disappointing."

"Well fuck." Hiruma muttered. He had spent a great deal of time chasing after his daughter for numerous reasons. Most of them were keeping Emiko out of trouble of course.

"After your bench I want you throw passes to Kid with increasing 5 yard increments." Kurokawa told Hiruma. "Go until you can't make them or run out of field, no Hail Maries."

Hiruma nodded and jogged over to the weight room. There were two more assistants in there, one spotting and one recording. Simply going through the motions and correct warm up lifting, Hiruma did his bench press recording.

"55 kilograms." The assistant recording remarked. "You dropped 30 kilograms, better talk to the coach about that one."

"If you sweat the small stuff too much you'll go bald." Hiruma told the assistant, waving it off.

"It's good to have you back." The second assistant told Hiruma sincerely.

Hiruma only smiled and jogged back out to the field. Finding Mushanokoji tossing passes to Tetsuma, he made his way over.

"Hey brat," Hiruma got Mushanokoji's attention, "fucking Coach wants me to play pass with you."

"Well I'll be!" Mushanokoji smiled. He hadn't been expecting to see Hiruma again so soon. "Tetsuma, you should go get some of your own instructions then."

"Yes." Tetsuma ran over to Kurokawa without any trouble.

Standing five yards away, Hiruma put his hands up and wanted for the pass. Mushanokoji simply nodded and threw it normally. Hiruma caught it without issue then tossed it back.

Kurokawa watched the silent exchange as the quarterbacks threw the ball back and forth, getting more and more distance as they went. Hiruma's form was still good, he observed thankfully, and despite the drop in arm strength he seemed to not have any difficultly come the longer distances. Then there was the blessing of Hiruma's speed increase. The last six years had been excellent for him as a player. And if that water bottle and determined smile were anything to go by, probably good for him as a person too.

70 yard pass, not an easy distance do get without using a Hail Mary, Hiruma knew this. He'd been throwing his infamous Devil Laser Bullets and it seems to be working fine at getting the distance but his right shoulder's starting to protest. Faintly thinking back to how he might have injured it, Hiruma could come up with nothing immediate.

You're too old for this, Youichi. Chizue's voice suddenly whispered in his ear. Hiruma frowned and ignored it throwing the ball again.

The ball spun smoothly in the air, but something about its flight was disconcerting to Mushanokoji. He caught the ball and gave Hiruma a thoughtful frown. There hadn't been a loss of form, but there had been a loss of power. And Hiruma was experimentally stretching his shoulder, was he hurt?

In reality Hiruma was feeling trying to get the hands off the ghost off his shoulder. Chizue's hands were leaving burning sensations where they touched.

"L-leave me alone!" Hiruma hissed at her as he tried to make her go away.

Then leave here. Chizue glared back down at him. Hiruma only stared at her, like she was crazy. It was a little strange, Hiruma thought, when Chizue looked beyond him for a moment and a smile graced her features. She continued to hold him there, smiling still.

"What are you babbling about?" Hiruma hissed and pulled away, somehow tripping and crashing on the ground during this process. Turning his head around and feeling fire at his ankle, Hiruma stared at the still smiling Chizue.

Just lay down for a minute, love, all will be well soon. Chizue told him.

Mushanokoji could see it coming, and with wide eyes and constant screaming, he started running, trying to catch Hiruma's attention. They had been practicing along the sideline to have more accurate measuring. With the adjusting of his arm, Hiruma had managed to wander away from the sideline, past the giant number ten, and into the edge of the field where the backs were practicing running backwards before he feel. The Babies had some enormous, heavy backs that were known for their remarkable speed. And at the rate this was going they were going to trample Hiruma.

"Hiruma!" Mushanokoji bellowed desperately. He wasn't fast and everyone else was one the other side of the field. Surly there was someone, something watching out! It couldn't end here!

The form of help came in the form of a kicked football, soaring through the air to land near the feet of one of the counterbacks, Ikkyu specifically. The small man stumbled over the football and turned to see what had caught him, only to find Hiruma on the ground.

"Stop!" Ikkyu yelled, managing to halt the line of bespiked feet a hair's breadth from Hiruma's still form.

Hiruma looked away from Chizue when she started frowning to look at the spike that had nearly stepped on his ear. People were calling -no screaming- his name but their words did not reach the ears of the quarterback. All he heard was Chizue's voice, sweet and simple.

See?

"Go away!" Hiruma hissed at her quietly. His left ring finger felt cold and overly light.

No.

"Go away you bitch!" Hiruma bellowed, startling everyone around him, his eyes wild and growling at some phantom only he could see.

Practice, for Hiruma anyways, was ended early that day.

Having been showered and changed out of his clothes, Hiruma found himself wrapped up in a blanket, holding a cup of warm coffee in Kurokawa's office. He'd been told to say there until practice was officially over, and Hiruma had stayed. He had a splitting headache and Chizue's laughter was still echoing in his head. The worst insult was he was pretty damn sure he was insane and the team probably agreed with him.

"Youichi," Kurokawa's voice was tense, "what the fuck was that?"

Hiruma didn't answer. He didn't want to.

"…Hiruma, spit it out." Takekura demanded, his voice frustrated and angry.

"Chizue." Hiruma answered in a small, shaking voice after a moment. He then took a large swig of his coffee.

Both Takekura and Kurokawa shared a concerned look.

"You need to see a professional about this," Kurokawa told Hiruma, "and I think I know just the right guy…."

After a tense car ride, Hiruma found himself sitting in a comforting, cushy chair in front of a very confused Yukimitsu. The man still had his ridiculously large forehead and a pair of simple glasses, but other than that he had changed very little. Yukimitsu was confused because before him sat a particularly shaken and pale Hiruma. Obviously the man had experienced some kind of trauma recently…

"I'm sure there's a reason for this," Yukimitsu began, "and I'm equally sure you know exactly what that is, but don't you have a kid you should be going home to at this hour?"

"I shouldn't." Hiruma muttered. Chizue's presence hadn't ever shaken him this badly before and the last thing he wanted was Emiko to be upset and worried.

"Please call and say you're going to be home late then," Yukimitsu told Hiruma firmly, "then we can begin dealing with this."

You're going to call that woman aren't you!? Chizue yelled at him, her eyes flashing. Hiruma had been startled by her and found himself dropping the cell phone on accident. She seemed really smug with this development until Hiruma's gaze was forcefully redirected at Yukimitsu's face.

"I'll make the call." Yukimitsu told Hiruma. "Who am I talking to?"

"M-mamori." Hiruma answered, trying to ignore Chizue's screams.

"And how long has this been going on?" Yukimitsu asked as he picked up the phone and started to look through the address book to find Anezaki's number.

"It started up about six years ago for a small time and it came back about six months ago…." Hiruma muttered.

"I don't think you're insane," Yukimitsu remarked honestly, "I think you've been hurt badly by someone and never got around to properly healing."

Hurt!? How dare he accuse me of hurting-! Chizue roared only to have Hiruma cut her off.

"About fucking right." Hiruma answered.

"After I finish this call, why don't you tell me everything? Starting with your engagement." Yukimitsu asked. Hiruma only went stiff and Yukimitsu frowned. "I can't help you if I don't know when and where the damage was done, Hiruma. I just can't."

Looking down Hiruma shook his head again, trying to push out Chizue's screaming. Man that woman had a set of lungs on her!

"…Could you at least try?" Yukimitsu asked. "I'm sure it's too much to say after your day today but I need you to start, okay?"

"Start?" Hiruma echoed.

"Yeah, start healing."

_=_=_=_=_

And now, folks, this is the start of Chizue's real death.