"You know the one thing I never learned how to do was let go, Yami. And I'm so damn scared of letting go of Mokuba. Of all the things that I hate about this situation...that is what I hate the most. How exactly do you do that? Of all the unanswered questions that I have, Yami, all the whys, and reasons, and purposes.
the one that hurts the most is how in the world I let go of all this. How exactly do I say good-bye to my own flesh and blood, and leave him in this world beyond my reach, and beyond my protection? "
Yami twisted his lip between his teeth. He had no answer for that. He wasn't sure that there was an answer, and from that sad, accepting finality in Seto's voice, and that heart-breaking fear in his eyes...Yami was silent. There was nothing to be said that would not be false, or sounding like a flowery platitude.
"Deep down, I know that Mokuba is strong,and he'll be alright. He'll get through this because he's a Kaiba, and I've seen his strength for myself enough to know that. But...I'm still leaving him, regardless of my choice in the matter. And, I've never been one to take not being able to choose very well, Yami."
"Because you have no choice, Seto. I have no doubt that you have done all that you can to spare Mokuba of pain. I know how much you two love each other, and that won't change because you...are no longer here"
Yami finished awkwardly, as Seto snorted in perverse amusement.
"Well, yes, Yami, the fact that I'll be dead just might have a slight impact on the issue of me being here or not. That's not exactly something most people successfully work around."
The merry chiming of the bells over the door announced his presence before he even glided into the small shop. The Game Shop was humble, but cheery and welcoming, as Solomon Moto's grin when he saw Mokuba Kaiba give the door chime an irritated glance that rivaled Seto's.
"Well, well, Mokuba Kaiba! And what brings you here, young man?" Mr. Moto beamed down at Mokuba as he groaned and climbed down from the ladder he was using to stock some of the older cards in the upper shelves. That bright smile abruptly turned to a scowl of paternal concern as Mr. Moto looked Mokuba up and down for a long moment. His frown deepened, displeased, as he shook his head and irritably groused at Mokuba, "I don't know how you Kaibas find the energy to run that big company. You look tired, my boy. Sit down." Solomon waved Mokuba over to one of the barstools that sat unoccupied by the counter.
Mokuba gave him a tolerant smile, as he slid himself downward,grimacing as he folded his legs awkwardly and rested his boot heels on the rungs. When he had navigated the tortured teenage years, he had shot upward at least two feet, and then several inches until he was well over the six foot mark. He was almost as tall as Seto, though he lacked that feline grace and cold poise. But, he still had those dark, sparkling eyes, that easy laugh, and that carefree forgiveness and light that Seto cherished. Brushing his black bangs from hsi face, Mokuba nodded politely. "Thank you, Mr. Moto."
The old man regarded Mokuba kindly, and ambled over for a chat. "You are quite welcome, Mokuba. How are you Kaibas keeping yourselves these days? Is Seto alright?"
Mokuba wearily bent his head, and sighed. "We're definitely keeping ourselves busy, Mr. Moto. Seto...could be better, of course, but for now, he's holding up. I guess that's about as good as could be expected."
Solomon gave Mokuba's hand a warm pat, with a sad, understanding nod. "Please pass on my best wishes to Seto. And, as you know, if we can help you, you only need ask."
"Thank you...I'll be sure to tell Seto. He'll appreciate that." Mokuba muttered, abscently. "I don't suppose Yugi is around, Mr. Moto?"
"Yugi is up in his room upstairs, along with young Joseph Wheeler. I'm sure they would be most happy to visit with you." Solomon said, pointedly, as he waved Mokuba through the door with a gentle shove, and another smile.
"Thank you, Mr. Moto." Mokuba called behind him, as he slid off the barstool, and made his way to Yugi's room.
The Moto house was as cheery as the game shop. The decor was simple, mainly well-worn furniture, scattered photographs of various family members, strange Egyptian treasures that Solomon had picked up from his travels, and a cabinet full of Yugi and Yami's awards from various duels over the years. Yami, stern, and strong as a mountain, smirking proudly at the camera, as Yugi was protectively cradled at his side. Solomon, Yam, and Yugi beaming from the ancient ruins of an excavation site. So many smiles and happy years reduced to photos. Mokuba couldn't help but feel a bittersweet pang of empathy.
Hesitantly, he lingered outside the doorway that was emblazoned with a poster left over from a dueling tournament, hand raised to knock. He heard Joey Wheeler's snicker of laughter, followed by Yugi's bright giggle. Why had he come here, anyway? Just as he was about ready to turn on his heel and go back home, the door abruptly flew open, and he collided with the body that was flying out. Mokuba was almost knocked on his rear as he staggered backwards and caught himself. He felt himself being hauled upright by strong hands and set back on his feet.
(Author's Note: I personally like Joey Wheeler and his odd Brooklyn accent, which is made even odder by the fact that he is in Japan. But, I'm not going to make any attempt to write it out, because it comes out looking like gibberish. So, in this fanfiction, he speaks with as much twang as you like, but written down, it is standard English. My apologies.)
"Mokuba?" Yugi's uncertain question floated up from behind the doorway as Joey stared at him, confused, and arms still outstretched.
"Sorry about that. I didn't see you there, Mokuba." Joey gave him an easy grin as he stepped away. "Say..you alright? How's things with ol' Moneybags, anway?"
Mokuba gave Joey a look of chilled rage as he jerked his chin up sharply. "Seto!" He hissed through clenched teeth. "His name is Seto, Joey. Not Moneybags, or anything else but that! Got it?!"
Joey raised placating hands as he backpedaled, apologizing, "Sorry, Mokuba. Old habits just die hard and all. How's he doing, anyway?"
Mokuba huffed his bangs away, in the attempt to calm himself. "Fine. Seto is fine." He choked out, as he fought the urge to slug Wheeler. No wonder his brother despised him. Yugi watched the exchange, wide-eyed, and silent from the door frame. Warily, he gave Joey another grin, and said, "Joey, why don't you go downstairs and bring up some soda and snacks? I know that it's been an hour since you've eaten last."
Joey brushed the golden bangs out of his face, and shook his head. "I know a brush-off when I get one, Yugi. If you and Mokuba need to discuss something privately, I'll leave. No problem."
"I wasn't suggesting that you leave, Joey. I was suggesting that you get some food. Since when have you ever turned that down?" Yugi stared up at him with a raised eyebrow and a smirk of his own. Grumbling, Joey waved an irritated hand, and brushed past Mokuba to go downstairs. He hollered over his shoulder from the downstairs, "I'll be bringing up extra for me!"
Yugi only snorted, before he turned back to Mokuba, troubled. "I'm sorry, Mokuba. I wasn't trying to ignore you. Um...is everything alright?"
Mokuba only sighed, awkwardly, cursing inwardly for the stupidity of coming over in the first place and then for lacking Seto's ability to handle any situation with nothing more than distancing sarcasm.
"Yeah, Yugi, everything is fine. I'm sorry for bothering you." Mokuba shrugged in finality, and spun on his heel to leave, only to feel Yugi's small hand squeezing his elbow to stop his retreat.
"You don't have to leave yet, Mokuba. And you're not bothering me. If you're worried about Joey,he already said that he would leave if-"
"Does he know about Seto? How bad he really is?" The sharp question took Yugi completely by suprise as he fumbled, uneasily.
"Mokuba, I don't know how to say this, but it's pretty much common knowledge that Seto has cancer and he's dying from it. I haven't said anything about it, though, and neither has Yami."
Mokuba only nodded, silently breathing, and trying to uncoil the sudden anger that had wound around his tongue. Of course, it would be out in the public. Seto had long given up any attempt to hide his illness, prefering to cope with it in his own way, and even allowing his appearance to give a visible face to the private suffering of millions. Mokuba knew that KaibaCorps had already pumped a sizable amount of money into various hospices around Japan. But, he still felt like Seto was being violated in some way.
"I know Yami hasn't, and I didn't think that you would, either. It's just...Seto is so private, and I hate the fact that his most private battle is out there in public for everybody to see. I mean, it's his life, and his limited time, and not many people seem to respect that."
"I didn't, either." Yugi's whisper was laced with regret as he raised sorrowful eyes to Mokuba, almost weeping.
"But you apologized, and Seto forgave you, Yugi. I don't mean to be rude, but that really is old news,and I don't want to start an argument with you now." Mokuba said, wearily.
"Of course not. I'm sorry." Yugi muttered, uneasily. "I don't mean to be rude, Mokuba...but why are you here, really? Is there something that I can help you with?"
Mokuba opened his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by the sudden appearance of Joey, his arms and mouth full of potatoe chips, and three cans of soda still in the plastic ring.
"Wasn't sure what you wanted, so I didn't open the cans." Joey's words were muffled by the potatoe chips he had stuffed into his mouth, his cheeks bulging. Joey stepped between them, and deposited the bowl of chips and cans on Yugi's desk, and flopped down on the bed, tucking his arms behind his head.
Yugi only shook his head, as he took two cans off the desk and silently handed one to Mokuba, with a gesture towards the floor as he sat down cross-legged on the dark red rug. He popped his can open and sipped it, his eyes never leaving Mokuba. The silence was rapidly decaying into unbearable tension, and Mokuba's nerves were threatening to storm over into something ugly. Mokuba he opened his own can and drank a long, considering swallow.
With a shrug, he sat down across from Yugi. "I just...I needed to get away from the whole thing for a while. I love Seto, but sometimes...it's just too much, and I need a break to forget, or just..escape before I go insane. And, I came over to clear the air between us. So, I guess I brought over all my issues. Sorry."
Joey rose from his dozing slouch on the bed to peer at Mokuba, worriedly. "Not to interrupt here, but there's no point in apologizing for having issues." He offered Mokuba the chip bowl. "Hope I'm not prying." Joey muttered as an afterthought.
"You're not." Mokuba answered as he nibbled on a chip. "Thank you, Joey." Mokuba was now faced with the uneasy notion that Seto's hatred might be a bit misplaced. Aside from that horrible accent and rather gruff manners, there was little that Mokuba could see that Joey had earned any of it.
"Joey's right, Mokuba. If you want to talk, I'll listen." Yugi offered.
"And if you want me to leave, I will." Joey mouthed around another handful of food and a sip of soda.
"No, Joey. That won't be necessary. I'm the one who barged in. But, since I'm here, I might as well enjoy the chips and soda. Thank you." With a sigh, he sat.
"Seto and Yami were still talking when I left, Yugi. I think I may ask Seto to put him on KaibaCorp's payroll as a therapist. Yami's really been a big help to Seto. Could you please make sure that he knows that?"
Joey's eyebrows furrowed. "Since when have Yami and Kaiba become such buddies, Yugi? You mean to tell me that those two are actually friends?"
Yugi nodded, slowly. "I know it's a bit...strange, Joey, but Yami and Seto have always understood each other. That's probably why they're so evenly matched in dueling, or how one can't beat the other one in an argument. It's about time they did something besides hate each other, don't you think?"
Mokuba snorted. "Seto never hated Yami, Yugi. He just couldn't stand being reminded that he lost to him. Seto has never been very good at accepting loss. That just makes all this harder on him."
"I'm glad that Yami at least can talk to Seto, too. He needs that. I know that Yami comes across as being cold, and distant, but it's his way of protecting himself from the world."
"You just described Seto, Yugi. No wonder those two are such good buddies now. Nobody else could put up with that sort ego but those two." Yugi and Mokuba both snorted at the same time, and then shared a good laugh of understanding. Mokuba felt better than he remembered in a long time. That broke the icy tension, and the reserved fear that Mokuba had in coming over to the Moto's. Yugi was as warm and accepting as usual, and Joey had completely dismantled Mokuba's foolish and preconceived notion that he was an idiot.
The conversation flowed much easier, puncuated by refills of soda, munching on chips, laughter, and the hours crawled by, as the sun went down. Mokuba felt the buzz of the cell phone at his hip, and saw Seto's number blaze across the small screen. With an apologetic hand held up, he cupped the phone to his ear, and had a hasty, and irrate conversation with Seto. With a grumbling promise to call him back, he slid the phone back into his pocket. "I'm sorry, but I need to go. Seto needs some help with something."
Rising, he gave Yugi and Joey his full gratitude. "I appreciate this. The chance to forget and be normal for a bit. Thank you, both. Maybe we can do it again sometime?"
His timid request was met with enthusiasm from Yugi and that easy grin from Joey. Relunctantly, Mokuba said his good-byes, and made his way down the stairs, flanked by Joey, who was on his way home as well.
They chatted amicalbly enough, until Mokuba mentioned how much he would miss Seto. To his suprise, Joey whirled to face him, his golden brown eyes full of compassion. Joey hesitated for a moment, then said,
"Hey. I can only speak from the perspective of an older brother. But, if Seto loves you anything like I love my little sis, then he's going through hell right now. 'S been my experience that you never get over wanting to protect the people you love, and honestly, I wouldn't want to change that, even at the cost of being hurt. There's not much you can do about that one, Mokuba. And I don't think your big brother would have it any other way. He may act like a jerk sometimes, but everybody knows what you two mean to each other.'
Joey gave Mokuba a kind smile. "It's not easy being the oldest, you know. Always worrying about the example you're setting, the stuff you leave for your sibling to contend with, the choices. But, it's worth it. It's absolutely worth it, and Seto would tell you the same thing, if you had the guts to ask him. You ain't going to make this worse by holding back the fact that you love your brother, Mokuba. If anything, I think Seto probably needs to know that he's not failing you. Knowing Ol' Moneybags, he's probably close to pissing those pretty slacks over you right now." With that sarcastic barb and a friendly swat to his shoulder, Joey grinned, and turned down the corner, whistling.