Disclaimer: Victorious and it's characters belong to its original owners. No money is being made from this story.
A/N Thanks as always, you bring a smile to my face when you leave a review: mouseforever16, VictoriaA11, chase19, Nikkie Ma'Shay, CommandedFiction you guys are great.
DISCLAIMER: Sexual situations are explicit.
I have added Authors Notes at the beginning and end of the that section, just in case you want to skip it, it won't affect the story.
Jade's POV
I can't, I just can't believe what happened with Tori. I feel tears dripping down my face. I just cheated on Gaby, really cheated.
I feel the wind as I drive make my wet face colder. I need to calm down before getting home.
But I can't go home! I can't face her, not like this. I wish I could talk to someone, if I could only go to Cat and confess, but she'll hate me; I can't go to Andre, he'll tell Cat; there is no way I can go to Beck or talk to Ash. I can't tell Mom, Dad or Ty that I just cheated on their daughter and sister. I'm alone… I'm really alone. I lose Gaby and I lose everything.
I drive and drive on my way to nowhere.
How? How could I've done this? This is not me, I'm not a cheater, more important I'm in love with Gaby, why the hell did I let this happen? Why did I let myself… God, I can't even think about it.
All my body hurts, but this pain in my chest, it's too much. We were supposed to go to Tori's house to order some food and watch a movie, relax… nothing more. We already agreed no to push it, to be just friends again.
As we walked from the beach to the parking lot, we decided to order something instead of going to a restaurant. We could talk some more and her family wasn't arriving until nightfall, we had the house for ourselves. She had walked all the way to the beach that morning, so we took my car and drove off. We laughed all the way there, listening to music, singing along, like friends do… FRIENDS.
I keep driving on automatic mode and I think of how things went down, how I screwed everything up.
We arrived to Tori's home and picked up the phone to call the delivery place. We ordered a large pepperoni pizza and waited on the red couch.
"Please tell me I didn't do or said something completely embarrassing last night" - Tori asked ashamed.
"Well, you did 'complement' my butt" - I said shaking my head and mocking her a little.
"Ugh, I actually remember that" - Tori laughed with me.
"So Vega, you like my butt, hum?"
"Is it to weird If I say I do?" - She smirked shaking her eyebrows a couple of times.
There!
That's when it happened, that's the moment I wondered what would be like to take her lips with mine once again, take it further, pull her shirt off, see her naked… everything, I imagined all I would do to her in two-seconds.
"Tori?" - I whispered looking at her lips.
"Yes?" - Her sexy smile was still drawn on her lips.
"Would it be to weird if I say I want to kiss you… so badly right now?" - My eyes moved from her eyes to her lips and then back to her eyes, I wanted her and I didn't care about anything else.
Tori didn't wait for me to repent. She quickly stood up and took my hand, she didn't ask, she didn't hesitate, she just dragged me to her room. We were alone in her house, her parents wouldn't arrive for hours, but she wanted to have more privacy, she wanted intimacy.
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A/N Rated M for explicit sexual situations; if you don't like to read it please skip to the same comment lines below. Thanks!
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I entered her room and she closed the door behind her and locked it. There was no time for words, she lunched for my lips and started a kiss like no other I ever had. I felt the warmth of her breath inside me, our tongues playing wild games with each other, her hands pulling me closer to her body. I felt the need to press her into something, I lowered my hands and grabbed her butt slightly lifting her on the air as I pushed her to the wall. She straddled me and locked her legs around my waist for support.
I remember the hit was a little to hard, she complained with a sound that only made me more horny, I started to kiss her neck, biting it hard. There was no subtlety, no consideration, we where having sex not making love.
Our respiration only grew more agitated, her moans exhaled from her mouth as if her heart was ready to give up, and I loved it. By then her weight started to be to much for me and I took us to the bed. Her body clashed as she fell into the mattress.
That was my opportunity, that was my way out of it. It was a second… and I decided not to take it. In that moment I knew what I wanted, and I wanted her… I wanted Tori.
I took my shirt off as quickly as I could, I saw her eyes fill with lust as she lifted herself into a siting position and got close enough to start kissing my stomach. The feelings I had in that moment hunt me right now, I can still feel her burning lips on my skin.
Tori surrounded me with her arms to release the clip from my bra, we wasted no time, I made a bold move and removed her shirt at the same time, she was wearing nothing underneath, her breasts were my glory, but she didn't let me touch them yet, she was busy kissing mine.
I don't know when it happened… I was too lost in the sensation that her tongue and teeth created on my nipples… but she was taking my pants and underwear off, I let them fell on the floor. I straddled her pushing her down to kissed her all over, it was my turn to taste her beautiful boobs, so perky and soft, her dark nipples arousing at my touch. The sounds she made, the heat that her skin emitted, her fingernails digging into my back… how could I resist?
Tori turned us over and started to kiss me from my chin to my ribcage, one of my most sensitive parts, I jolted sporadically as I felt her making her way down. She spread my legs and anchored herself to my thighs; she teased me blowing air to my incredibly wet center. Tori looked up to meet my eyes and without breaking contact she plunged in and started licking my slit. She didn't wait too long to slide her fingers inside me and start pumping fast. Her fingers curling, thrusting, her mouth sucking my clit, maybe it was all this tension between us but, it didn't take me too long to cum. She stayed there for a while longer, licking every bit of me before returning to my lips.
She got close to my ear and whispered "You are delicious Jade" and she started biting my earlobe. I was wrapped up with the smell of her skin, she was sweeting and it was so sweet, it was driving me crazy.
"I can't wait to taste you, I need you Tori…" - I whisper back…
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A/N Rated M explicit section is over.
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Everything was going so well until she said it...
"I love you Jade"
No, no, no, no, no, no, that wasn't supposed to be love!
Those words took my out of the trance I was in. My conscience returned to me and I felt this pain on my chest, this pain that it's still here… I cheated.
I pushed her off and got up to take my clothes and dress up as fast as I could. I could barely hear her words as I hurried out the door. I remember a "stop" too many times, "don't go, let's talk" another bunch, "I'm sorry" a thousand more. But all I wanted was to get out of that house and forget.
I come back from my memories and realize where I was. How the hell did I get here? I find myself parking in front of my mother's apartment building. If I only knew her well enough to be able to confide in her but I don't, what would she say about her disappointment of a daughter?
I stay here for a while lost in my thoughts, replaying everything, again and again. It's dark outside already, I look at the time on my phone, it's 9pm and I have too many lost calls I couldn't even care for.
Suddenly I hear a knock on the opposite window of my car. I see my mother holding two cups of coffee. I look at her and she smiles, a flash comes back to me from my childhood, she used to look at me with that smile every time she brought me hot cocoa to bed. I reach to the side and open up the door.
"I thought you could use something hot" - She says.
"Thanks" - I simply reply, "Do you want to come in" - I don't even know where that came from.
She doesn't think twice, she sits down and closes the door.
We stay silent for a moment. I don't know what to say.
"Jade, you've been here over three hours… is everything OK at home?" - She finally asks.
"I did something terrible and I can't go home" - I confess.
"Jade what happened? Are you OK? Did someone hurt you?" - She is quick to ask, she sounds just like me.
"No, I did it… to Gaby" - I don't even look at her, why am I telling her this? Maybe it's because I don't care if I lose her and she is the only one I can tell.
"Jade, whatever it is that you did, I'm sure that you and Gaby can fix it" - She responds, still worried, hesitant in what to ask next. I'll make it easier for her.
"I cheated on her with one of my friends… I don't think we can fix this" - I zip my coffee, my sight lost on the panel of my car.
I can feel her looking for the right words to say, she takes her time.
"Jade, you may not like what I'm going to say, but if you want to fix this you have to be honest with her and tell her what happened" - I don't say anything. I continue sighing deeply and zipping the rest of my hot drink.
"Can I ask you something?" - I say to her.
"Anything"
"Why are you hurting them? Why are you mean to your family?" - I confront her, maybe I'll understand why I destroyed everything today.
"I… don't know what you are talking about" - My statement surprises her, maybe she doesn't know what she is doing.
"Matt hates me, and he has every good reason" - She stays quiet and let's me talk, "He yelled at me he hated me, and that I didn't deserve my girlfriend" - I take my time to continue; she doesn't say a word.
"He doesn't understand why you love me, why anyone does; he said I was a monster just like you" - I hear her letting out a deep breath. "He is eight years old, why haven't you shared Christmas with him? Why don't you take him to the park? Why don't you celebrate him? His life… the one you left me to protect"
I turn to her and see her silently crying, well, at least now she knows.
"I feel that you came back here chasing someone that no longer exist, you want your nine year old kid back, but I'm 17 and I'm no longer a kid" - I start crying again, but now because I'm finally telling her what she needs to hear. I do it with care rather than yelling or ignoring her like I have been doing all these weeks in therapy. "You are losing them and you don't even notice, you have been so focused in me… you have to stop"
"I want to make up for all those years Jade, I couldn't celebrate when I knew you were out there. I just couldn't" - She recognizes.
"Want to make it up to me?… Love them, read books to them, take them to the park, put them first, be their mother" - I turn to look at her, our eyes finally meet. "Be the mom I remember I had… maybe then, all I had to go through will be worth something"
"Jade… I can't let you go" - She says sobbing.
"You don't have to, but I'm not the one that you have to get back. Maybe if you try being the mother I once had and not the bitch that left, things can be different" - I take her by the hand and show her a half smile.
She cries smiling and nods agreeing with me.
"It's late, I should go. I have to find a way to talk to Gaby" - I say and let go of her hand.
"Be honest Jade, trust me, it's better that she knows from you and not that she finds out from someone else, these things always tend to come out sooner or later" - She opens the door from the car and turns to me again, "If you need a place to stay, you are always welcome in our home" - She goes out and shots the door. She stands on the sidewalk and watches me leave.
I arrive home and stay inside the car for around 40 minutes before entering the house. I need to think about what I'm going to tell Gaby.
I can't do this to her, but my mother was right, she deserves to know from me, I don't want to hide this. I don't want to lie to her anymore.
I make my way slowly into my room, it's late and everyone is sleeping. I can't just go to Gaby yet, I want to wash my face and look at myself in the mirror before going to talk to her.
It's true, Gaby forgives almost anything when she is half asleep but 'this' she won't forgive, she won't, I wouldn't.
How do you tell your girlfriend that you kissed your friend on several occasions and that finally today you crossed the line?
It all happened so fast and Tori looked so beautiful. After a week of spending every minute thinking about her, if I should give us a chance, I wondered, I just wondered 'what if?' and next thing I knew…
I can't stop crying, I have to tell Gaby tonight. I change into my PJ and walk softly into her room. She is fast asleep; she looks so calm, so beautiful. I walk to the other side of the bed and slowly get in. I don't want to wake her up just yet.
I want to look at her one last time, because after this she'll hate me. My chest feels like it's going to explode, the pain runs all through my body. I can't do this, I can't, I don't want to lose her.
"I love you" - I whisper almost soundless. I needed to tell her… God… I'll miss her so much.
I can't do this.
"Hey" - Gaby wakes up and automatically surrounds me with her right arm and graces the back of my neck with the thumb. I love when she does that.
"I love you" - I repeat this time loud enough so she could her me.
"Did you had fun with Tori?" - She speaks softly and closes her eyes again.
What did she just say?
"How did you know I was with Tori?"
"I'm sorry, I called her after Matt and I left" - She keeps her eyes closed. "I knew you needed a friend and she said she knew where you would go"
"Gaby" - I whisper. I can't… my heart is breaking.
"Mm hmm?" - She mumbles.
"Nothing"
"Turn around, let me hold you" - She asks so sweetly, so lovingly… it was a mistake, Tori and I made a mistake.
I oblige and turn my back to her, I love being spooned by her.
She places her left arm under my neck and with it and her right one she embraces me and pulls me close to her. Her lips rest on my right shoulder and I can hear her deep breathing right on my ear.
Her feet start to caress mine, I know what she wants, she does this every time she wants to wake me up to have sex.
She starts kissing my shoulder and then moving to the base of my neck with soft kisses allowing her tongue to touch my skin from time to time.
I stay still, as if I was asleep; I can't have sex with her after what I did with Tori, it would be terrible in so many levels.
Eventually she stops and places her lips back on my shoulder.
"I love you" - She whispers.
I turn my way back again to face her.
"Noooo" - She mumbles complaining at the sudden movement.
"I'm sorry" - I say with double intention. I was so sorry for doing this, all of this with Tori. I have to tell her.
"What's going on? Just tell me" - She says with her eyes still closed.
"Something happened with Tori today"
"Jade" - She starts to giggle, "It's OK, I know that you confide in her, I'm glad you have someone to talk to about all that's going on with your family"
Oh my God, she thinks this is about them! I can't tell her. I'm so confused, I should but I can't lose her, I won't.
"Is that why you are so bothered? I know that you'll come to me when you are ready" - Gaby asks opening her eyes slowly.
"I don't want to lose you" - I reply feeling my heart jump in my chest.
"You wont lose me for this, I'll always be here for you" - She gives me a quick kiss and turns her back to me inching all she can to touch her back with my chest. She grabs my left arm and surrounds herself with me pressing against her body. She caresses my arm with her thumb, Gaby's trademark loving gesture.
I'll have tonight, just like this, with her still loving me and with me pretending everything is OK.
I press my arm harder into her and pull her as close as I can and I tell her I love her before we both fall asleep.
A/N You got a little desperate! Jori was coming but I wanted to build up to it, there are other things happening soon too. Don't lose faith in me! Have a good rest of the week, I'll be posting on Saturday! Please leave a comment if you liked it or if you didn't… Bye!