In the last chapter, Esther endured her first day of torment at school while under the Coleman household. She makes a new enemy in the form of Brenda but just as her day couldn't seem to get any worse she finds that her former friend Tiffany is now attending the same school. We now find Leena later during the same week as she continues to do her best to get by as "Esther".
"Move it, loser!", Daniel's friend Trevor bumped hard into me with his shoulder as he passed me by in the hallway. His friends erupted in a chorus of laughter as they passed by me, their coldness all the more obvious. All I could do was stand and stare. There were no friends to come to my defense. My heart was heavy having to carry my never ending burden of dismay.
Everyone was in a hurry as school let out for the day. As anticipated today had been no easier than my first. At least it was Friday. I had two solid days ahead to regroup and recharge. I didn't need anymore drama when I returned home. "Screw this, I'm going out the back" I told myself. I didn't want anymore trouble from these little hell raisers.
I trotted along, trying to get away from the others as quickly as possible. Darting through the moving maze of students. I would simply walk around the school to meet Kate. Not that I cared if I made her wait. The screams and laughter of the children faded off into the distance. Random papers were scattered about the hallway as careless clutter.
In the distance a lone janitor was cleaning up some of the mess with a long push broom. He was a constant sight in the hallways. I kept shaking my head to myself. I tried convincing myself of my own fortitude against the never ending onslaught that rallied against me. "You're stronger than they are, Leena. You're STRONGER! YOU'RE the adult!"
Every taunt, every laugh, and every jeer was stinging at me like angry hornets. I hung my head low as I slowed down. The school was now lifeless. There was not a sound to be heard. It was almost eerie in a sense. Lonely and desolate. I trudged grudgingly through the gym to the back doors that would lead me outside.
As I entered, I kicked a lone basketball out of the way that was lying in front of me. I kicked it so hard that I lost my footing and fell on my ass. "Son of a BITCH!" I moaned. My book bag fell besides me. A loud burst of childish laughter drew my instant attention.
Before I could even look to find the source of the laughter I was hit square in the head with the same basketball I had kicked. The impact caused me to fall sideways, my head colliding with the hard wooden floor. More laughter erupted like a cruel torrent. This felt like St. Mariana's all over again.
I began growling angrily, like a cornered animal. "The new girl is so stupid" I heard Brenda tease. My ears ringed as I tried to re-orientate my senses. Brenda and two other girls approached me, a girl on either side of her. Both had brown hair and were maybe about 11 years old. Despite their age they seemed to tower over me as I lay where I had fallen.
They whispered to one another as Brenda took center stage with me. Brenda leaned over and placed her hands on her knees. "What's wrong, is the new girl afraid of the ball?" she mocked incessantly. "Scaredy cat. Scaredy cat." her friends taunted like morons.
I sat there, still dazed from the hard collision. I could barely hear what she was saying. "Look, she's trying to get up" said one of Brenda's companions. "We should beat her up" the other girl suggested. With great energy I lifted myself to my feet.
"It's taking everything I have right now, Brenda" I warned as I wiped my mouth. "Oh, or what's going to happen, stupid new kid" Her smile was wicked, almost evil. I could see the delight in her eyes. The shear delight she took out of tormenting me. I clenched and unclenched my fists over and over.
I watched as her eyes moved towards my hands. She looked back to me. "Oh, what's wrong new kid, wanna fight us?" Her voice had become more threatening. "Don't push me to it, I swear, I just swear…" I trailed off when all three of them laughed as if I were joking.
"Do you know what math is new kid?" She was now really fanning the flames of my rage. I showed my teeth like a wild animal. "Well…let's see, there's one of you and three of us" She was beckoning me to throw the first punch.
The word "control" repeated itself in my mind. If I lost control now I knew the blame would fall on me. Brenda was emboldened by what she perceived as weakness on my part. She walked up to me, toe to toe. I let my attitude grow cocky with her. "You don't scare me the least"
"Somehow I doubt that" said one of Brenda's friends. I raised my voice at the smartass. "Why don't you shut the fuck up and take a hike you little whore!" The girl's eyes grew wide with shock. She wasn't suspecting me to lash out at her. I didn't even know who the hell she was to be honest.
"Take the first shot, Brenda." I turned my cheek to her and tapped it with my finger. "Go ahead, go ahead, or are you all talk because I know I'm not." Brenda remained still. I knew she was too much of a coward to take me up on my offer. She was just an idiotic child who thought she could exploit me.
I faced her once more. "What are you waiting for? Oh, were you finished? Or maybe you want ME to take the first shot?" I offered. Brenda suddenly backed up without so much as a word. "Why are you backing up from me? WHY?" I approached them slowly.
One of the girls grabbed Brenda's arms. "Come on Brenda, she isn't worth it. Let's just go to your house." Brenda shook the hand off of her. "If you came looking for a fight you found it" I snarled. I held my arms up at my sides in anticipation that things were about to escalate.
But alas they did not. And to my betterment I suppose. Brenda rolled her eyes at me as she gave me a look of disinterest. She turned away from me as her friends followed. "Stupid bitch!" I heard Brenda mutter. I didn't let that roll off of me. "If you have something you want to say come up and say it and we'll see who's the bigger person."
Brenda repeated what I said in a mocking voice. She kept her back turned. "She's such a loser" said one of the little terrors. The encounter, though as brief as it was, had shook me to my core. I had to regroup quickly and put on a good show. Kate was surely waiting for me by now. The girls made their way out into the hallway, leaving me alone.
"I swear to God, I'm going to rip their guts out!" I told myself. I tossed my book bag over my shoulders. "This things so damn heavy" I whined. "Nothings ever easy". It felt almost impossible for me to even move. I felt as if I were made of lead. At least I could go home to my John and my Max. They were always so delighted to see me after all.
I shuffled outside. As I walked I thought about how Brenda was going to pay for her transgressions. "The little bitch isn't getting away with this! She won't! She can't!" I wanted her to be an example to her friends. The violent thoughts seeped into my psyche. Cutting her throat. Breaking her neck. Gutting her alive. All wonderful fantasies that I knew would sustain me.
I knew how to pull off shit like this. How many times have I killed before and eluded detection? "Think about it, Leena. Who expects Esther after all?" I hoped the girl would come to her senses before it was too late. That way at least her life could be spared.
There was always that tipping point though. The point where, no matter the risk, I would simply snap on her. That no amount of reasoning would prevent me from making her scream bloody murder. I struggled along as I tried to carry the overfilled book bag. The wet snow crunched beneath my feet.
As I made it out front I spotted Kate's SUV. It was my ticket to paradise. An oasis from the cruelty of the outside world. "Just cool off and relax, Leena. Smile now. Kate is probably watching". I put on the fake persona that I was happy and content with my situation at school.
Kate waved at me vigorously as I made my way to the vehicle. I began skipping along. I felt like an absolute idiot. I opened the back door and climbed in. Max was in her car seat. The joy in her eyes upon seeing me lifted my spirits. "Hello, sweetheart. How was school today?" Yeah, like I was going to tell her the truth.
"Absolutely wonderful, mommy. I'm meeting so many new people." I reached over and gave my daughter a kiss on the cheek. "And hello Max" I told my little ball of happiness. She clasped her hands together. She could barely contain herself every time she seen me after a busy day.
"Where's Daniel"? I asked. "Oh, he's going to hang out with his friends. He's staying over with one of them tonight so he won't be home 'til tomorrow. Daddy came home early from work today."
This made me smile. "At least that little shit head of a "brother" will be out of my hair" I thought. Kate put the car in drive and we pulled out.
Suddenly Kate slammed on the brakes as a group full of kids darted out in front of her. We all lurched forward. I instinctively put a hand over Max out of protection. I could tell Kate was about to swear before catching herself. "Don't they see me? How could they not have seen me?" she complained. I spoke up. "Don't let it get to you mommy. After all, it's Friday."
She sighed to herself. Max seemed a little worried but she was quick to return to her usual happy self. Kate regained her composure as Max became preoccupied with a small stuffed giraffe that her mother must have given her. I looked up at the ceiling and exhaled deeply.
After a few moments I noticed Kate's personality change as she laughed gently to herself. She seemed happier than usual. "What the hell is this all about?" I thought. She kept glancing back at me. I was confounded. I cocked my head to the side. "What's so funny mommy?" I had to ask.
She gently covered her mouth. "Let's just say daddy and I have a big surprise for you when you come home." I smiled. I tried to coax an answer from her. "And that is?" I inquired. "You'll see once we get home. It wouldn't be much of a surprise if I told you now would it?" As much as I held this woman in pure contempt I was hanging on her words.
"More gifts?" I asked in faux excitement. "I won't be the one to spoil it" Kate explained. I turned to Max and smiled mischievously. I signed to her while speaking. "Do you know what mommy is talking about? What mommy is hiding from me?" I teased innocently.
Max smiled and tried to bounce. "Oh, she knows already. But she'll stay quiet". Max moved her fingers across her lips in a zipper motion. "So you're going to leave your older sister hanging like that" I said comically.
"I know your first week has been hard, Esther. Believe me, I've been there when I was nine. All of us are so excited about today though. What we have waiting for you." I became anxious. Who wouldn't be? She was keeping something big over my head.
"Very well" I cosigned myself. Max kept looking into my eyes. Her obvious excitement was rubbing off on me. Close to the house Kate pulled into a convenience store. "Wait right here, Esther and keep and eye on your sister. I just have to get a gallon of milk."
"Yes, mommy. I'll keep her in line" I teased. Kate laughed. "I can't wait for you to get home." She turned around to face Max. "Now remember what I told you, no telling!" she signed. She nodded in obedience. Kate commended her. "That's a good girl!"
Kate grabbed her purse to go fetch her milk. I waited until she entered the store. I wanted to know what she was hiding from me. What this big surprise was all about. "Max, now you can tell me, what is she talking about?" Max simply shook her head.
"I'm not telling. Not telling you." she signed. Kate was stretching her head as she stood at the counter with her milk, keeping her eyes on the two of us. I sat back down in my seat. She knew I was trying to get Max to spill the beans. She pointed a stiff finger at Max. She sat back tightly in her seat, almost frightfully.
She once again made a zipper motion across her mouth. Her mother gave her the thumbs up through the glass. "I hope she doesn't get angry with us girls" I signed to my little one. Max's attention was drawn back to her stuffed giraffe. I smiled tenderly at her. I had all but forgotten about Brenda and what had gone down.
I was startled by the car door opening. My eyes darted upwards, my mouth opened slightly. I always tended to startle easily. Kate placed the milk on the front passenger seat. She was still in good spirits. "I knew I had to keep an eye on the two of you." she teased. She reached back and tickled Max. The child giggled in delight. Mother and daughter were so close.
"Good! The secrets still safe!" she told herself. We continued our journey home as I found myself having the highest of hopes. Confidant that the rest of the day would pan out well. Confidant that I would be happy for the rest of the day. As I would soon learn, that would be more than the case!
A gentle snowfall began. Each individual snowflake dancing elegantly. Max seemed entranced by this. It reminded me so much of Estonia. It reminded me of the homeland. Of where I had left my roots when I came to America.
In the due course of a few minutes we were home. Max became as excited as ever as she looked over at me. Her eyes told me she indeed was hiding something. I noticed Kate pick up her iPhone. She dialed a number and let it ring before suddenly hanging up.
"Why did you do that?" I asked. She was adamant. "Oh, no reason. Now lets hurry up and get inside. It's cold out." Kate came around and unfastened Max from her booster seat. John opened the front door in anticipation. I could tell he was in on this as well. Kate scooped Max into her arms and carried her along, kicking the car door closed with her foot.
I smiled at John as I slung the heavy book bag once more over my already sore shoulders. I ran over to my John and flung my arms around his waist. "DADDY!" I screeched in excitement. I hugged him tightly not wanting to let go.
"Hello honey! Did mommy and Max tell you that we had a big surprise for you" I nodded. "Yes, but they kept me waiting.": John came over to his wife and grabbed Max, He swung her around in his arms while the tot laughed in delight. She was as happy as I was every day to come home to John.
"Boy, your getting big!", he put her down. "Let me get that", he took the gallon of milk from his wife. Kate smiled and gestured to me. "Hurry up and go inside!" I never seen her display this much happiness before. "In fact, your surprise is in your room" John urged me.
"Um, very well then daddy". I was as confused as they were joyful. He took my book bag from me as I welcomed having finally returned to my home sweet home. "Now what is it they're trying to hide?" I asked myself.
I figured it would be some more dolls or a bike or what have you, in which case I would simply put on the false mask of childhood excitement and run into their arms like a child on a Christmas morning. I was nonchalant enough as I approached my room. The door was closed, which is generally how I liked to keep it. Locking my dirty secrets within.
I shook my head as I turned the door knob. "It's just going to be more children's garbage" I muttered angrily. As I opened the door I looked up. Every muscle locked into place. No! My eyes had to be playing some cruel trick on me!
I covered my mouth with my hands. My eyes grew wide in astonished disbelief. Instantly my eyes filled with tears of joy. Tears of shear happiness. She turned around where she was seated on the bed as she heard my gasp.
My brow quivered as I collapsed to my knees. I sobbed in joy. A muffled shout escaped my lips, "SYRAH! SYRAH!" My sister choked up immediately as her eyes grey equally wide in the complete disbelief that this moment had finally come to pass.
"OH GOD! SISTER!" she shouted in her own moment of stunned wonderment. I reached my arms out, to stunned to even stand.
Syrah literally threw herself around me. Just like the first time we met again after my escape from the Saarne Institute over a year ago the tears flowed with uncontrollable vigor. "My God! Is this REAL! Is this REAL?" I exclaimed to her.
I didn't care that we were both adults. I was turned upside down by her sudden arrival! We kissed, we hugged, we embraced one another like long lost loved ones. Pure ecstasy is the only word that could describe the moment. I let myself go for those few moments. I didn't care about anything else in the world. I was completely lost in the serenity of the experience.
I could barely speak between my sobbing. "Miss…I missed you!" I cried. "Thank God! Thank you God! Thank you!" Syrah whispered. "Never again, Leena. Let's never be apart like that again." she wept. I began coughing uncontrollably.
I heard movement behind me. I turned around just as John, Kate, and Max entered the doorway. I leapt to my feet and ran towards my John. I put my head on his chest, my warm embrace speaking louder than words. I couldn't stop crying.
John laughed. "I guess this means thank you. Well you're very welcome." My heart soared in happiness. I felt free once more. Free from the aggravation and heartache that the week had brought me. Kate stroked the back of my hair as I balled my eyes out. I looked up at John, slowly, giving him the assurance of a grateful daughter.
Kate leaned against the doorway, crossing her arms. "Now your father and I are just full of surprises aren't we?" She let out a laugh. Syrah was besides herself, in tears as much as I was. I didn't mind giving Kate a hug as well. Yes, it seems hypocritical of me but I made sure she knew I was happy.
My little Max was double the delight. She signed to us. "Now I have TWO sisters." Her innocence was so charming. I nodded to her. "Yes Max. That's how it will be forever now" I signed. Syrah collected herself. She was dressed rather formally for the occasion.
She wore a white long sleeved blouse, her dark black knee length skirt matched the color of her hair, which she had tied up in the back as usual. I guess she was doing nothing more than making a good first impression with the Colemans. She stood up to shake hands with Kate and John,
"Thank you! Thank you so much again for having me. You don't know how long it's been since Esther has seen me." She was adamant in thanking them. "This wouldn't have been possible without you" she continued.
I gushed. I was glad she didn't call me "Leena" by accident. I could breathe a sigh of relief that I had her on my side. Max grabbed Syrah's hand and jumped up and down. "And thank you too, sweetheart." Syrah complimented the child. Kate signed to her daughter what my precious Syrah had said.
"You see, she couldn't be more happier today." John told his wife in regards to their little one. "Watch out though because she is a ball of energy" Kate told my sister. "I'll see to that" my sister sniffled. Kate disappeared for a brief moment, returning with a box of tissues.
Kate had to keep from crying herself. She felt as much a part of this moment as Syrah and I. John leaned in towards his wife. "Honey, honey, let's give them some privacy." he urged. She knew this was best. "Right, right." She tugged on a glassy eyed Max. "Come on sweetheart. Come on, let's leave Esther and Syrah be."
It took some persuasion to finally get Max to unglue herself from the two of us. The little girl looked up at Syrah in total wonderment over who she was. "We'll just hang out downstairs" John pointed. He closed the door behind him. Syrah and I sat down on my bed.
She didn't take her eyes off me. I don't think either of us could believe that we finally were together again. We held each others hands. My voice quivered. I buried my face in her lap. "I just missed you so much." She stroked my back as my chest heaved up and down. I couldn't stop sobbing.
"I missed you too honey. The wait is over now. It's all over" She lifted me up and put her hands on my shoulders. She laughed a little bit. "Dry your tears before your make-up begins to run" I threw myself around her again, ignoring her words. "Ever *sniffle* ever since that train left, *sniffle* I've been waiting. I felt alone without you."
The long year we had waited had not dampened our relationship in the least. We could both feel this. Our emotions were genuine. Real and unbridled. "You should have never left my side, my dear." Oh, how she wished things had gone that way. I wiped a stray lock of hair from my eyes. I cracked a smile.
"But look where I'm at right now. I thought you had to wait before coming to America?" I questioned. "It was easy enough getting my passport renewed. And I'm letting a friend stay in my house as long as she takes care of it."
"I'm staying at a hotel for the time being, but John and Kate. Such lovely people. They told me I could stay for the weekend. You know. So that you and I could get reacquainted. John and Kate have known about this for the past couple days."
"So this was all planned out?" I felt sure that John had arranged for this magical day to come to pass. "Well I landed yesterday and I met John and Kate after you had left this morning. I got here around nine in the morning and we've been talking and talking ever since. Such a wonderful couple! Kate had me come up here to wait for you my precious"
I wasn't going to go into a rant about how much I disliked Kate. Now was neither the time nor the place. I wanted to tease at her gently. "Do you know how different you sound on the phone then in person, my Sy Sy?"
"Oh, is that so? I told you I was coming after all." She turned sideways, handing to me a white rectangular box with a red ribbon tied around it. "This is for you…Esther." She hesitated to say the name. It obviously made her somewhat uncomfortable.
I smiled so as to show my approval. "Now really. You didn't need to get me a gift". I gingerly pulled at the ribbon as it fell away. I softly removed the cardboard top from the box. "OH! What's this Syrah?" I removed the garment. It was a blue lace shawl. "I knit it myself. Something to help get you through the winter" She gently pushed on my shoulder.
I knew this would be something I would want to pass onto Max one day. I wanted this to be a family heirloom. My arms once again found themselves around her neck. "It's wonderful! Thank you so much! It means the world to me, it really does." Who wouldn't adore how close we were?
"I feel like I'm going to wake up at any moment and you won't be here. There hardly has been a night that hasn't gone by where I haven't dreamt of you." I said in half disbelief. She gripped my hand. "Well you're wide awake sweetie. As I said, wherever you are, I am also from now on."
I grinned while I ran the shawl through my fingers. We both laughed between our sobs. Syrah made light of everything "Looks like Kate might need a new box of tissues." I was hooked on her every word now. "This shawl, this look like it took you forever to make."
"Two week on and off" she replied. "I couldn't just reconnect with you without a gift" I looked into her watery eyes. They were so gentle and caring. We held hands once more as we rested our heads on each others shoulders. We were silent for a moment. I guess the two of us had a lot to absorb.
"A whole year, Syrah. Where does the time go? Where has it all gone?" I said softly. "It's time we can never get back, Leena, I mean…Esther…we move forward together, as sisters, not long distance friends." I raised my head from off of her. "I wish I could really say that I had somehow earned this. You know how much I don't deserve it." I lamented.
"Let's not get into that right now. Please. I know we'll wind up talking about all that has, well, you know, happened." She cradled my head onto her shoulder once more. "You think you couldn't wait to see me again, Esther. Words can't describe how grueling a wait this has been. It's tested my will. It really has."
"I know the feeling. I cried myself…" Syrah put a finger to my lips to hush me. "Cried yourself to sleep?" she attempted to finish. I nodded, her finger still to my lips. Sometimes I felt as if we could read each other's minds. "Sy Sy, I mean, you're for real. You're not some phone call. Today is the most wonderful I have had since coming to this strange land. I really mean that."
"Where there is no longer an ocean between us. No reason for us not to be together. I mean we've seen each other through hell and back how many times? We don't have enough fingers and toes to count them all!"
I could hardly get in another word before Max burst back into the room. She jumped on the bed in between Syrah and I. I could hear Kate cracking up in the hallway. She jolted after her hyperactive daughter. "Get back here you little…" she laughed. Max crawled to the other end of the bed as my sister and I laughed.
"No, no, Max. Let them have their time together. Don't bother them right now. Come on, back downstairs this instant!" I wouldn't discourage Max's behavior in the least. What else could you expect from her? "Really, mommy, it's okay. Max can stay here with Syrah and I. Really now." Kate paused to catch her breath.
"Are you sure about that sweetheart? I mean…" I nodded. "Yes, what trouble can she cause?" Kate was whimsical with her answer. "Well, you haven't been with us long enough yet to see that now have you? In any case, okay then." She turned to Max.
"But behave" she signed while talking sternly. "Mrs. Coleman, I think she'll be alright" Syrah interjected. "Please, please, Kate will do fine." Syrah nodded, slightly embarrassed. "Just make yourself feel at home over the weekend. I want you two to catch up after all." Kate explained.
Max found her way back between Syrah and myself. I could suddenly hear John calling to his wife. "Excuse me, I'll let you guys alone again". Kate went out of sight, gently closing the door to secure our privacy. This room was pretty much the only place in the house that I could truly call my private little sanctuary.
I signed to my pride and joy. "Now you can be yourself, Max." I put my arm around her but her attention was drawn to Syrah. She was enamored with her. It was touching to witness. "I can see Max has already made a new friend" I joked.
When Max was happy, I was happy. Max seemed a little shy as far as trying to have a conversation with my sister, not that she could anyways without my help. Max turned to me to show how much she approved of her "other" sister.
"Do you know what Max signed just a little while ago?" I asked of Syrah. She shrugged. "That she thinks of you already as her second sister." I wished this suddenly joyful day would never end!
My sister was jovial, playing with Max. "Oh, is that so Max! I'm old enough to be your mommy!" I had to translate her words into the appropriate symbols. She began striking up an innocent conversation with Syrah.
"How old are you?", I became a little worried about that answer but was quick to realize I was in control. I switched over to speaking Estonian. "She asked you how old you are. Now remember, you're not 39, you're…" I waited for the "correct" answer so to speak.
"I am 24 Max, 24 years old." My baby was able to read her lips. I gave Syrah a thumbs up. Not that I couldn't sense a hint of despondency from her. Having to lie to an innocent child. I didn't mean to make her feel uncomfortable. Still, Syrah does actually look that young for her age.
"Children, they're just so full of questions." I remarked, still maintaining my native language. "I didn't like doing that right now. I mean it was hard to say it with a straight face to John and Kate but I feel dirty for having just lied to Max." she whispered.
"Why are you whispering, my Sy Sy? It's not like anyone besides us understands Estonian?" She let out a long, flustered breath. "I don't know. Just a force of habit I guess."
"So what do you think of Max? I'm guessing the two of you met a couple hours ago. She only goes to school for three or four hours a day." Syrah gave a nod. "Oh, she was besides herself."
"One day Syrah. This will be your new niece. Take it in and absorb it." Syrah's facial expressional changed from gentle and tender to grave concern. She had allowed herself to become so caught up in our reunion that she perhaps forgot why I was even under this roof to begin with.
"Lee…I mean Esther…can we discuss that later. I mean, remember what we said about, you know, the right time and place for that." Again, I had to catch myself from turning the conversation serious.
"You're right, after all. I'm sorry Syrah, you just know there will be a million different things we'll be talking about. We couldn't even scratch the surface today." I tried to turn the direction back into a positive light. "So did John and Kate pick you up this morning?"
"Yes, I spent last night at a hotel and they came and got me after you were gone. Like I said we just talked and talked. Talked about everything. They couldn't stop speaking volumes about you. They really do care about you. I just hope that you see that. They really DO care."
"They loved me the first time they laid eyes on me, Syrah. If that weren't the case neither of us would be sitting here. But enough of that. It's just a miracle to even be around you again. When I got on that train to Russia, something inside me Syrah. Something told me I would never see you again. I couldn't shake it for weeks."
"That's just what I feared. That's why I begged for you to stay. But that's ancient history now. All that matters is what happens from this day forward. I'm here to help you, you know that."
My eyes suddenly closed involuntarily as I began crying once again. Our conversation being in Estonian, Max had no idea why I was crying. It was an awkward moment for her. "What's wrong?" she mouthed.
I whispered into her ear. "Max, can Syrah and I be alone right now? I know you've been excited and all that but it's nothing personal." Unlike most kids her age she readily obliged. "Come downstairs soon" she signed.
"We will Max. Go on now." I could tell she was a bit disappointed. After all, her fascination with Syrah was peaked. "She could have stayed" Syrah said. "No, not now. I mean we're having a serious talk right now. It doesn't matter if she understand or not."
"We're certainly a long way from our Estonia my dear. You were right about this being a strange country. Everything seems so different than back home. This in itself had to have been a terrible adjustment for you." Syrah was correct in saying that. Adjusting to America had been probably the hardest experience of my life.
"Yes, it was. Believe me, nobody understands you. Nobody even wants to understand you. I've been everybody's punching bag for so long now. Even today I was nearly beaten up. It just never seems to end for me. But I deal with it."
"What do you mean you almost got beaten today? Tell me what happened? Are you sure everything's okay?"
"It's nothing, Syrah. Just some girls decided to pick on me when I was leaving for the day. I'm an adult and I have to put up with this kind of shit from third and fourth graders. Can you even begin to believe that?" At least I had someone to share my lamentations with in person.
Syrah didn't seem sure as to how to answer me. "I don't like being the one to say this but you put yourself in this kind of position. How many times have I told you to take things just a day at a time. We don't need anymore trouble because of things like this."
"Oh Syrah, if I didn't take things one day at a time I certainly wouldn't be here in this house. It's just…I mean I'm still finding it hard to sink in that you're actually here with me. Things are going to be a lot easier now with you around. At least I'm not going through this crazy ride by myself."
"Such a sweet thing to say…Esther." Again, I knew she hated using that name. She almost cringed every time she mentioned it. "This is going to test the two of us though. Coming to America like this is not easy for me to do. But the only way I would ever go back to Estonia is if you came with me."
I could see where she was coming from entirely. "You're really prepared to abandon your old life like that, Syrah?" She cleared her throat. "More so than you think. I've told you before. I can't keep a clear conscious unless I look after you. You know how much I don't approve of…oh here we go talking serious again." I smiled at her.
"See how hard it is? All in due time. Everything will come out in due time." That was the way my sister's personality was though. It was all out of concern for my well being. She changed up the subject. Her muffled laughter taking the conversation in a new direction.
As quick as I was to tease her she would often tease me. "Don't…don't you feel ridiculous dressing like that?" It was innocent enough. "The only cure for my wardrobe is fire and lots of it." Syrah burst out laughing. She was quick to amuse.
Syrah pulled a lighter out of her purse. I screamed out amusingly as she placed the fire towards me. "We can start right now!" she giggled. I noticed Max peeping in through a crack in the doorway. I motioned for her to come back inside. The atmosphere was light and happy. Something the three of us could bask in together.
Max sat down on my lap, uncaring of whatever Syrah and I had been talking about. I only wanted my new little daughter to enjoy our companionship. I took the shawl that Syrah had knit for me and placed it around Max's neck.
I signed to her some more. "Syrah made that for me. Isn't it lovely?" She nodded in appeasement. "I can't believe you and Max are so close." I could tell Syrah admired our relationship. "It's been that way since day one. She has always wanted a sister."
Max began signing to Syrah. "Are you going to stay with us for good now?" I translated for my sister. Syrah nodded at Max. "You'll be seeing me a lot of me Max. I won't be that far away." It was truly a dream come true for Max.
"She has two people she can look up to now, Syrah. I want you to be around her." My sister had fallen for Max. "I'll make it a point to begin learning sign language myself. I bet that'll make John and Kate happy. I mean why not?"
"I'm still learning myself but I'll help you out with that." I pointed over to the sign language book sitting over on the desk. "It gets easier after awhile. Do you hear that Max? Syrah wants to learn sign language. Will you help me teach her?" Max bit down on her lip. She was so cute, nodding at Syrah.
The three of us laughed in unison. "You know what you can do for us later on, Syrah? Something I would really enjoy?"
"What would that be?" she asked. "Could you play the piano for us? Like we used to do when I was at your home? You always played so beautifully."
"Absolutely. Kate was telling me she used to teach piano at Harvard. Maybe I'll play something after dinner." I had to make a point perfectly clear to her. I leaned over to speak into her ear.
"Just to warn you, Kate is a shitty cook." Syrah began laughing again. "Know where the bathroom is beforehand, I rather eat your cooking any day." Syrah was a little besides herself. "Come on now, she can't be that bad."
"Horrifying!" I whispered. I turned to Max. "What do you think of mommy's cooking? Do you like mommy's cooking?" I asked. She slowly shook her head from side to side. Syrah and I erupted into more laughter. "You see, didn't I tell you?"
I finally felt human today. A precious feeling I rarely ever felt. I owed it to my Max, my John, and now my Syrah. I knew that there would be brighter days ahead for Leena Klammer. The fact that I didn't have to go through my trials alone anymore was enough to make me forget about the horrors and shortcomings of living this lie.
The three most important people in my life were now under the same roof. I hoped and prayed that I was moving in the right direction. After all, there is a time and a place for everything.
In the next chapter, Esther is finally pushed to her limit at school and is forced to act. Also, Syrah has a solemn request for her sister that will open up some old wounds for the both of them.
As always, please leave some feedback. Your reviews are always so much appreciated and looked forward to. Have a safe and Happy Holidays 2011!