Oh dear… I cried through this whole chapter… just beside myself with uncontrollable fits of tears. My macaw, Morpheus, who is my little writing helper, started moaning and howling with me when he heard me start to cry. So needless to say both me and my bird have sufficiently shed enough tears for the rest of the story. In case you were wondering, I do love Ron to pieces and have always felt guilty for separating them… but Snape and Hermione are just such a more exciting pair… who deserve each other. But Ron deserves his own chapter with everything that Hermione did to him through out the story… he needs some lovin'! So all you Ron haters out there, have a heart and try to have a little sympathy for one of my favorite characters! just kidding you can celebrate all you want because guess who Hermione belongs to now? YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! Snape!
PLEASE REVIEW! I worked super, super hard on this and cried for the majority of the time writing it. I apologize if there are typos I missed… blame it on the inability to see through the tears.
"What are you talking about 'Mione?" He held her close and rubbed her back comfortingly.
Hermione didn't answer as she let her sorrows take over her and sobbed into his shoulder. She couldn't face him, at least not in the condition she was in. How could she tell him how she felt and that she couldn't be with him anymore when she couldn't control herself or compose her emotions enough to even make out a sentence? Ron remained quiet but led Hermione to lie down beside him and shifted her enough to cry into his chest. What was she doing? Why couldn't she just let him think that she loved him and she could be with Professor Snape at Hogwarts every night and pretend like nothing was wrong? It was ludicrous and she knew it but some part of her wished it could be so just so she wouldn't have to hurt anyone. Everything that was going on was really her fault. She led Snape on enough that he too fell for her while she was still being courted by Ron and now the Potions Teacher's career was threatened and she was cheating her best friend's trust and love away.
"Sshhh… it's alright, everything will be alright. Is it Snape? I can't stand to see him hurt you anymore." He closed his eyes and gave her a small squeeze. Hermione was taking deep breaths for air as she looked up towards the boy with a sad grin on his face, always the comforting look that she loved.
He affectionately rubbed her cheek with his thumb, wiping away the stream of tears that were falling. Hermione just watched his grey blue eyes shed warmth and love over her… he really did love her and she was going to break his heart. He smiled, "Just say the word and I'll hex that bloody git into the next afterlife."
Hermione let a smile play across her lips knowing that Ron truly would not have trouble carrying his threat out but he obviously would not have gotten far; Snape was quite the duelist, "No Ron… Professor Snape didn't do anything." She sniffed. He didn't do anything but fall in love with her…
Ron let out a disappointed sigh, "Well, my offer still goes," he laughed and rubbed her arm, "So why the unexpected visit then?"
She sat up pulled the old blanket around her tighter, "Ron… I…"
The red head sat up next to her, bringing his knees up and wrapping his strong arms around them, lazily, "Yeah?"
Hermione had not a clue how to start, how would she tell him? She looked down to her ring and silently slipped it off, not letting him see, "I… I'm not sure if I can do this anymore… my future is so…" she started breaking sentences.
Ron furrowed his brows, "'Mione? What are you talking about?"
Shutting her eyes tightly, trying to cut off the tears that were starting to heavily pour down her face once more, Hermione grabbed Ron's hand and placed the ring in his warm palm. Ron was speechless and stared down at the sparkling diamond in shock and hurt. He looked back up to see Hermione's lip quivering. He wasn't sure he was really registering everything that was happening,
"Hermione… we just announced our engagement, what is going on?" he stuttered out.
She turned to him and wiped her spilling teardrops, "I can't do this. I can't hurt you."
He scoffed quietly, "Well you're doing a right good job of hurting me now. Why?"
Although it would have been a much more complicated subject, if she could just tell Ron of her love for Snape, it would give her a real motive to back up her reasons for not wanting to marry him. She had to dig deeper inside. Professor Snape was not the only cause for her not marrying Ron and she knew it. She took a deep breath and felt her body tremble,
"The future you want and the future I want are so totally opposite. I need a career Ron. I am not ready to start a family. Hogwarts is my home and that is where I want to stay."
His limbs went limp as he just stared at the ring in his hand, "I don't believe what I am hearing. Hermione I love you! Doesn't that mean anything?"
She nodded, trying to hold back the sobs that were threatening to overtake her, "Please don't make this any harder…"
Ron just looked up at her with shock on his face, "Harder?" he spat out.
Hermione wrung her hands in her lap, not wanting to make any more eye contact than was necessary. She couldn't see how hurt he was… she wouldn't, "Our relationship won't work. I won't let you settle for me when having a family and raising them in a house with a loving wife is all you ever wanted! I want to work, I want to do something more… and I would just make you miserable."
Ron got on his knees on the bed and grabbed her shoulders to look at him, trying to remain calm, "Hermione, I love you! I have loved you since I first met you! You drive me crazy but that is what love is! We can work it out. I want to see you happy. I love you."
She let out a cry and hung her head low as she sobbed loudly, covering her face with her hands, "I can't… I can't…"
"Look at me," He sighed, taking her hands away and led her face up towards his, "Marry me, Hermione, and I will make you the happiest witch in the world." Ron kissed her forehead and pulled her into his arms, holding her head against his beating heart, "Whatever you want, I will do. I can't let you go; please don't give up so easily on me. Have a little faith…"
Her tears ran faster as she wept into his wrinkled shirt. Why were her emotions and feelings running wild? Ron was fighting for her… would Snape have fought for her if she said she didn't want to be with him? She knew he would probably just close up and get angry before leaving to tend to his wounds alone. Hermione listened to the steady heart beat and sighed, she knew Ron was serious with his offer of doing whatever it was for her that she wanted. He truly just wanted to keep her in his life. How could she just say no? He was so much more loving and appreciative than the Potions Master, so much warmer and younger and sweeter… he never insulted her or was quick to get angry… Ron was every girl's dream and he was her perfect match. What did she see in Snape that drew her to him so? Hermione could have stayed in Ron's embrace… she could have let him rock her to sleep, away from her troubles and sorrows. Wouldn't life be so much easier for everyone if she and Ron were to get married?
"I love you Hermione Granger." He kissed her hair before pulling away slightly so he could look at her, "I never want to be parted from you again."
She remained silent, not knowing what to say as she felt his arms pick her up and set her into his lap, "Remember what I told you when Harry and I had just destroyed the necklace with the horcrux with the sword of Gryffindor? You were calling to me back to you and I knew I never wanted to be without you ever again." He picked up the little instrument Dumbledore had given him, the Deluminator, "I still hear your voice Hermione."
"Ron…I…" Hermione was so confused. Did she make a mistake? Was she supposed to be with Ron but was distracted with Snape? Why was the instrument still guiding him to her?
"Let's get married, 'Mione. Today. It can be something small but I just can't have you away from me any longer. I have let you slip so many times before and I was a bloody fool for doing so. You are the only one my heart beats for. Even Harry can tell how lifeless and miserable I am without you. I truly cannot live without you by my side." He smiled and pushed a stray curl from her messily braided hair out of her face, "Am I going too fast?" he chuckled before giving her another hug.
"What about you?" she looked up at him, "How can you just live to make someone else happy when you fully know that it is not something you want? You need to be just as happy…"
"I don't care," Ron exclaimed, "I am only happy when I am with you Hermione. You are all I need. If you want to live in the castle, then we will live in the castle. Nothing matters anymore if you aren't with me. I finally realized it after you left that night you flooed here. I am proving my love to you."
"Lavender loves you." Hermione told him.
Ron snorted, "Love me? She is obsessed! And anyways, I don't love her. I love you 'Mione."
She laid her head back on his chest. Perhaps she was supposed to be with him and not Professor Snape. Hermione shook herself out of it, however much she loved Ron, it was nothing compared to what she felt for her teacher. If he was holding her like Ron was at that moment, Hermione would hardly be able to speak, hardly be able to function; just in awe at the man. Snape meant everything to her and although he was not perfect in any way shape or form, her love for him was real and his in return. He was the most loyal person she had ever met and she knew that if she would stay with the Potions Master, he would do everything in his power to be with her and stay with her… would Ron do the same? She reprimanded herself; of course Ron would do the same! But what was the meaning of her life when she couldn't fully live? Live and love the man that deserved it the most and have a reciprocation of love and adoration that would and could never be matched by anyone else?
"What is love without having it in return?" she asked softly… almost hoping he wouldn't hear.
Ron's breathing stopped and he tensed, "Hermione…"
With all the strength she had, she took a deep breath before pushing herself from his lap, "I can't live a lie."
He shut his eyes in frustration as he quickly stood up and turned from her, trying to calm down, not wanting to hear what she had just said, "You can't live a lie? Then what have you been doing for over a year? It seems pretty clear that you can lie bloody well!"
"Ron please… I love you! I just don't share the same feelings that you do. You are my best friend!" she cried out.
He turned to her with glassy eyes, "Is that all I am to you after all these years? Your… friend?"
Hermione bowed her head; she deserved all of this and more. She was ruining everyone's lives, "Would you rather me lie and marry you?"
He clenched his fists, "You wanted to make a fool of me, didn't you?"
"What are you talking about?"
"Why would you try to make our relationship so public to then break everything off? Well you did a right fantastic job!" he raised his voice, letting his emotions get the better of him.
Hermione bit back tears and clenched her jaw, "Ron… would you rather have married me with rumors of your fiancé cheating on you?"
He froze and narrowed his eyes, "Were those rumors true? If you don't love me, then surely your heart belongs to another?"
She stood up, "I am breaking this off with you because we would never have made each other happy! I do not want a family yet and I do not want to settle down in the country while you go off to work and I clean and cook!" Ron growled but Hermione continued, "And what kind of life would you have if you stayed with me at Hogwarts? Look at what is in front of you… am I what you really need or just what you want?"
He nodded angrily, "Sure… you let me pour my heart and feelings out to you… something you very well know is extremely difficult for me to do while you sit there knowing that after my speech you will just be breaking my heart? Telling me you don't want anything to do with me anymore… Well done, Hermione. Your plan in making my life a living hell has finally succeeded!"
"No! That is not true, I never wanted to hurt you!" she hugged herself while wiping some of her tears.
"Of course not." He sneered.
"Ronald Weasley you listen to me! I love you and will always love you! But how can we ever make each other truly happy?" Hermione literally screamed.
The door swung open to reveal George, Ginny, and Harry on the threshold, Harry walked into the room, "What is going on in here?"
George laughed, following Harry in and laid across the bed, "Yeah we give them a few minutes alone to snog each other and they choose to fight instead. So typical."
Hermione cried out, "For once in your life can you just leave us alone?"
Harry knew something was wrong, "Ginny, George, can you give them some space?" Ginny looked upset but he gave her a reassuring nod that everything would be okay. The two Weasleys left with much resistance and Harry put a muffling curse on the door so they wouldn't be able to hear the conversation, he turned back to Ron and Hermione, "What is going on? The whole house can hear you two screaming."
Hermione remained silent as Ron scoffed at her and showed Harry the ring she had given him, "She was playing me the whole time, mate."
Harry's eyes widened and he turned to Hermione, "You… gave him back his ring?"
She collapsed on the bed and bent over, sobbing, hiding her face in her hands. Harry ran to her and put his arms around her, "Hermione what is going on? You love Ron… you have always loved him."
"Apparently not." Ron snapped, hurt was very evident in his voice and expressions. He was only angry because he wanted to hide the hurt. He didn't want to cry.
Hermione looked up at Harry, "I don't love him like that… I just want a different life than he does. I want to do so much more and Ron deserves a girl that will love him in return and want exactly what he wants."
He gave her a sympathetic look before turning his gaze back to Ron, "I can't believe this…" he stood up in between the pair with a stunned look on his face, not quite sure if he should leave or stay.
"I wanted to tell you earlier. I didn't know how! I didn't even know what my feelings were until recently and I never wanted to hurt you." She pleaded with him to believer her but she knew she was getting nowhere.
"You have a funny way of showing it." Ron glared at her.
Hermione stood up again, shoving Harry out of the way, and walked up to Ron, grabbed his shirt in her fists and looked up into his grievous eyes, "Even if my feelings were different, all we ever do is fight, Ronald. We never agree on anything and can never get along!"
He wiped at his eyes before letting any tears fall, "We managed all these years together, what would make it any different," his voice broke, "I thought we loved each other."
She sniveled, "Ron… I love you. But look at what our relationship was built upon? Now that everything has calmed down—"
He broke away from her and walked out the door, slamming it behind him as he went. Hermione looked to Harry who was watching her with disappointment in his eyes, she sighed, "I never meant for this to go this way… why won't he listen to me?"
"He is hurt Hermione, what do you expect? He loved you!" he said incredulously.
She took a deep breath and ran down the stairs of the Burrow, after him, "Ron wait!"
Harry followed her a little more slowly and winced when he entered the living room to see all the Weasleys, including Percy, Charlie, Bill, Fleur, Molly and Arthur, watching the two argue in disbelief. He knew Hermione must have hurt Ron pretty badly, he had not seen his friend get so emotional since that early morning in the forest after the destroying of the horcrux when he apologized to Hermione.
"These are different times now! We fell in love during a war and now we can't find any common ground! Ron please—"
Ron gasped for air and shook his head, "I loved you!"
Hermione bit back tears, "I loved you too… but neither of us would be happy together… you know this!"
"You wouldn't have! At least my feelings weren't a lie! I would have loved you until the day I died! You had all of me!" he uttered every word with mourning and sorrow.
"Would you rather me have lied to you and married you under false pretenses? You would have given up who you are and what you want to be just for me and that's not fair to you Ron and it's not fair to me!"
Ron blinked tears from his eyes, "Everything was a lie!"
"No! It wasn't! Things changed… I have changed!" she trembled, her body could hardly keep itself upright with all the grief.
"I can't believe I-" his voice broke with emotion as he grabbed at his heart, "trusted you… I gave you everything…" Ron's lip quivered, trying to keep back his tears, he continued in a hoarse whisper, "you had all… of me and you are throwing this-" he motioned towards his family and himself, "all away."
"Ron—" Hermione started.
"Get out!" he whispered dangerously, clenching his fist and digging his fingers into his chest.
She could barely keep herself standing and Arthur Weasley came to her aid, bracing her against him, "Please… don't let it end this way."
Harry walked in and joined Ginny who had tears running down her cheek, crying for her broken hearted brother. He put his arms around her as Ron dropped the ring to the ground, in between himself and Hermione, "Why would I want someone who doesn't want me? How can I live with you around?" he glared at her with pain swirling in his grey eyes, "How do you expect me to go on knowing that you will find more joy in someone else's arms?" tears were flowing down his cheeks.
Hermione held on to Mr. Weasley for support, "I love you Ron… I don't want to end our friendship!"
He moaned in sorrow and sniffed, trying to get the tears to stop, "It's too late for that Hermione."
"Ron!" Hermione cried as he took out his wand and pointed it at the ring,
"Reducto!" the piece of jewelry exploded into thousands of little shards. Ron made a loud cry before wiping his eyes and pointed his wand back to the ground, "Obliterate!" all the pieces disappeared.
Hermione wriggled out of Mr. Weasley's grasp and ran into Ron's arms, "Please… don't leave me!"
Ron pushed her away and walked out the door into the snow and she ran after him. She was sobbing uncontrollably and stood on the front step, watching Ron disappear in the snow fall, "Wait!" she cried out and he turned around with the saddest look she had ever seen on his face,
"I hate you! I hate YOU!" he wailed as he turned back and disappeared into the tall fields of grass and Hermione stumbled further towards his figure,
"Ron STOP!" she screamed after him, falling to the ground as she wept. She wrapped her arms around herself as the Weasley family just watched her cry.
PLEASE REVIEW IF YOU LOVE THIS STORY! I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR FEEDBACK!