A/N: And BOOM! :P

Darling dearreader, the previous two were considered "Ka…" :D

This chapter is penultimate, and there will be an epilogue! And then Part 2 as I promised. New adventures for our babes in the second term :) Don't miss them ;)

A/N#2: The chapter is dedicated to my dear Just4Me! All your reviews are wonderful, and so are you! :)

They were slowly walking, and she was finally gathering her wits.

"Do you know where to go? I mean to me it looks like we are taking properly randoms turns..." He looked at her over his shoulder, that masculine superior look, chauvinistic wanker, and she got even more worried, "I mean how good is your sense of direction? Are we…?"

"Leary," he softly interrupted her, and if it weren't a totally bonkers idea she'd think he sounded tender, "Keep your bossy tude to your cute little self. I'm following these." He pointed his wand at the thin glowing threads going along the wall that she didn't notice before. "I stretch them in the tunnels I walk in, and if the Dementor moves in them, I can see which one twitches, and avoid it." She looked at the threads and then at him with admiration. Wow, it was wicked, like an alarm system, or a spider's web.

"How many exits are there?"

"One, and we are almost there. The thickest thread leads to it. The Dementor is trying to stay close to it, it knows we'll try to get out, so I'm going to distract it, and you will transfigure and sneak by." He was talking calmly, his eyes on the threads, obviously thinking she'd be all fucking 'yay, let's do it,' and she dug her heels into the slimy bottom of the tunnel.

"What?!"

"Leary," he pulled her arm, but she stayed put. What the sodding hell..? "Leary, I appreciate you coming here, I get it, you wanted to make sure I was fine, and I am. Professors and the Ministry will be here in a jiffy, we just need to get you out, and they will collar the fucker. I reckon it had been hiding here since the Second Wizarding War, somewhere deeper, and they couldn't get it, but..."

"I'm not leaving you here with a sodding Dementor! I am especially not using you as a bloody bait!" She hissed at him, and as much as stomped in the gloop that sloshed with disgusting slurping sound.

"Leary, you are an Animagus, Kneazle out and sneak by," his tone was still chill, but he was starting to frown.

"Yes, and I am the only one here with a functional Patronus, which is by the way corporeal and kick arse, so shut your gob."

"Leary, I need you out of here! I've been escaping the git for two hours now, it isn't the easiest job, so you know, and I need to concentrate," his voice was descending into a growl, and she pressed her fists into the hips.

"And I repeat, you can shove your opinion up your jacksie, Durinson. Let's not forget who, out of the two of us, wants to be an Auror and has higher grades in the Defense of Dark Arts! So ara be whist!" Gaelic rolled out of her in a snarl.

"Accumulatively you do, but it's only becase you are new at school." She couldn't believe the wanker! He was comparing their average grades now?! "And I failed Patronus last year, that is the only reason you are on top, and it's you who needs to shut her gob!" He hissed and stepped to her, glaring. If he thought he was imposing, he was cruelly mistaken. She also was completely sure he was just trying to piss her off and make her bail on him. Tough tits, Durinson!

"I'm staying with you, until the Ministry is here, and that's final. If you want to run away from me, help yourself! Let's see how you enjoy a snog from our slimey friend!"

"Fuck you, Leary!"

"Fuck you back, Durinson!"

She was so pissed off that she didn't realise they were yelling at each other. Apparently he hadn't either. But again Dementors were deaf.

"I can't do it with you here!" He roared at her, and grabbing her shoulders he gave her a proper shake. She hissed at him, addressing his pecker and bollocks in Gaelic and suggesting what he could do with them. Her suggestion involved intimate relationships with the aforementioned Dementor. "Damn it, Wren, I can't! I need to know you are safe!"

"And I need to know you are, so just belt it!"

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Leary?! Why do you have to be so sodding stubborn?!"

"There is nothing wrong with me!" She squealed and punched his shoulder. At that moment one of the lines on the wall twitched and emitted a low hum.

"It's in the passage to our right, and it's moving at the same direction as us," Durinson for some reason switched to whispering. "We need to turn around and try to pass it on the left." She nodded and grabbed his hand. It was dark, only the small lights flickering at the ends of their wands, lighting up their faces from below. It looked fucking eerie, they both looked pale and buggered up, and he looked at their hands, gave out a dramatic sigh clearly showing what he thought of her mental abilities, and they started moving.

"So you can't produce a Patronus?" Seven minutes later she was so cold and so knackered, especially from constantly straining her hearing expecting the minging sucker to set off Durinson's alarm system, that she was starting to trip over her feet. Her denim was soaked, she only had a shirt and a bra on the upper half, and her sandshoes were probably falling apart now. She thought she had never felt colder.

"No," he muttered, pretending he was preoccupied with his threads.

"No?"

"I can't, Leary. Happy? So just… leave it alone." His voice was properly cheesed off.

"But.. what? You don't have a single happy memory, happy thought..? Something you could use?" He gave her a glare and kept on slowly walking. "How about your mum? It is always a safe choice… Many choose a memory…"

"I don't have a mum, Leary," he interrupted her. "I never had a mum. I have a stepmother who is younger than my sister, blonde and fit as a Veela. So no jam there, Leary." She suddenly clearly understood how terrified he was. Not of the Dementor of course, but of this exact inability to produce Patronus. Did he think he was Dark? Did he think something was wrong with him? Both, probably. She also knew he was being a moron.

"I have a stepmother too," she didn't know why she shared this, and he looked at her askew. "Have you thought that you are just being too hard on yourself? And you psyched yourself out of it? I mean, with the whole pressure from your family, the history of them all being ace Aurors, your own ambitions to be a Healer and the ridiculous wanker persona that you try to pull on twenty four seven, you just… can't let it go. And you question yourself all the time. And maybe just a bit think that you don't deserve pure unadulterated happiness, so you don't let yourself fully concentrate on all those memories you have and thus it doesn't work..." She realised he had stopped several seconds ago, she didn't notice because she was busy analyzing him, and now he turned and was staring at her.

And then he leaned in and kissed her. Properly. Not like he should have, hurriedly, sloppily and just to tick a box, so to say, because they were about to be consumed by a half dead Dementor. Could Dementors even die? She couldn't even ponder this question, since she wrapped her arms around his neck and snogged him back with all possible conviction. She moaned into his mouth, it was just so ace that she didn't give a shite about the monster that was coming for their souls, and he made a step forwards, her back slammed into a grotty slimey wall, and the clean freak in her was terrified, but she quickly forgot about it, because it was him! He was kissing her! Thorin Durinson was kissing her! She was kissing Thorin! And fuck her, she was savouring every moment of this!

He stopped first, moved away from her, she leaned in, trying to prolong the sensation, his pupils were dilated, and she blinked frantically, some sort of bravure music playing in her noggin.

"We are going to come a cropper here, Leary," his voice was raspy and very, very indecent.

"We won't. I have an awesome Patronus, and you will make yours for the first time in life . And we will kick the Dementor's arse." She wasn't taking a piss out of him or trying to cheer him up, she truly believed it, and it was seriously that simple! Was he stupid? He had so much to appreciate in life, and he himself was just… precious. She smiled widely to him and walked by him ahead. "Common, surely there should be another exit somewhere here." She heard him clear his throat, shuffle with something, and then he followed, catching her hand again. She was now leading him, and his fingers were warm, and she was so bloody in love with him. And fuck it, she was fine with it.

There was the second exit there, it was in a rather large room they ended up finding, there was a bit more water in it, probably the floor was slightly lower, it reached Wren's knees, and they saw a door with a Hufflepuff crest, but it was locked. They probably reached the part of the sewage under the Hufflepuff's dormitory. Wren turned her back to the room to Alohomora it, Thorin stood his back to her, and at that moment the soulsucker darted into the room. It made a strange hissing sound and went for a direct attack. She managed one thought, that it wasn't how they normally behaved, going for a physical assault wasn't in their nature, but this one was apparently battered and desperate, and Thorin grabbed her and threw her across the room away from the Dementor's path.

A scabbed rotten hand locked around his neck, he gasped, his eyes went glassy, Wren rose on her knees spitting the minging water she managed to gulp mouthful when she landed by the wall.

"Expecto Patronum!" Animagus, she was a fucking Animagus, it was her happiest thought, it always worked, and it would this time. She was fighting for Thorin, she needed the toughest one, and she knew what it was. The day she produced her first complete animal form.

There are four of them, and they look so ridiculously like all those cliches in the American Muggle films. All tall and blonde, and seriously, what's with the short skirts on their cheerleading uniform? Like it's not clear what slags they are. One of them is known for giving the best head in the school.

The main one grabs her collar, Wren tries to twist out of her hands, and the other one jerks Wren's phone out of her hands.

"Are there naked pics in your cell, bitch? I bet you have them. We should post them on FB, Ryan will enjoy them!" The other three are laughing at the words of Melissa Brown, the main scrubber at school. That very Ryan is the reason why the four of them are currently beating the lights out of Wren. He asked her out, she said 'no,' he told everyone he "fucked that little British whore, nothing special, but she sucked well."

Wren can't use magic against them, and physically she can't overpower four of these cows. One of them scratches her cheek with a sharp end of her nail file.

"Look, she is bleeding right away. Do you burn in the sun like fucking bacon, Leary?" Wren can't remember the name of this one, another scratch goes on the side of her neck, it hurts like hell, and then one of them squeals and shows her mobile screen to the rest. There are photos of Wren's drawings there, and of course they just had to find whole bunch of naked blokes there, she was studying poses and the outlines of muscles and took photos for later reference.

"God, this is gross! You are drawing porn, you are such a whore!" The next moment the bint swipes the screen, and the next pic is Wren's step brother, and he is rather fit, which makes the four slags distracted and allows Wren to twist out of their grip and run.

She still doesn't know how it happened, it is supposed to be the result of hard work and a lot of training, but she is that desperate, and she never again will be able to repeat it that naturally, but she is running, turns around the corner, and there is an empty baseball field in front of her, and the next moment she is hiding under the stands, and she only realised what happens when one of them looks under the benches and yells to her mates, "She is not here! There is just some gross cat here!"

Her perfectly executed Kneazle leaped at the Dementor, it released Durinson, who sloped on the floor, and with a manky hiss the monster started darting in the round room chased by the glowing catlike Patronus. There were brushes on the ends of the ears and at the tail, and it skipped and bounced off the walls.

And then she felt the hands of the second Dementor on her throat, from behind, she screamed, and saw Durinson's terrified eyes, and he raised his wand.

"Thorin!" She stretched her hands to him, her legs madly thrashing in the air, the thing was lifting her, no air was entering her lungs.

"Wren!"

And then she saw him suddenly narrow his eyes, his jaw set, and he jumped on his feet. The shoulders were squared, and she suddenly knew she was safe.

"Expecto Patronum!"

A Kneazle… His Patronus was a Kneazle as well. First a small stream of glowing mist left his wand, then it grew, faster and faster, he was gaining confidence since he now knew he could do it, and then he swirled his wand in an elegant certain movement of his wrist, and the Patronus crystalised, its lines clear and defined. It was bigger, almost more muscly, definitely male, with the same feline grace but more of a panther than a house cat, and it leaped at the Dementor, Wren finally took a gulp of air, it felt like it burned her throat and lungs, and she collapsed into water.

Thorin darted to her and scooped her in his arms, the two slimey shadows were clobbering into walls and each other, two glowing Patronuses chasing them around, there were splashes and terrifying hisses, and then it went silent, the Dementors disappearing through the only open door, and she pressed her face into Durinson, clawing at his shoulders.

"God, Wren, fuck, fuck it..." He was mumbling something, but she couldn't hear him. There was buzzing in her ears, and she just couldn't stop touching him. She pushed her hands under the collar of his tee, splaying her palms on his warm skin, just to make sure he was here, and he was safe, and his hands were wandering exactly the same way, and then she finally heard what he was saying again and again, "You are OK… God, I love you…I love you so much… That was so fucking scary… You are OK, fuck me… You are OK…."

"I'm OK," she answered in a flat voice, and then she jerked and sat up. "What did you say?" He blinked and stared at her. She was staring back. Did he...?! Did she hear... ?! What...?! OK, OK, surely she heard right… She held her breath. OK, no panic, but seriously, if he backed off now, she would so Bombarda Maxima his sorry arse! He exhaled sharply and suddenly smiled to her.

"I said I loved you. I am in love with you, and just… Let's leave it at that."

"And your Patronus is a Kneazle," she mumbled and then smiled widely back. He groaned and dropped his head on her shoulder. She finally noticed that she was sitting on his lap, the manky stinky goo of the sewage sloshing around her waist. Somehow she couldn't bring herself to find this position anyhow unpleasant.

"Shut up, Leary." He mumbled into her neck, his tone completely chuffed very much out of place, and she was starting to shake from laughter, it was clearly hysterical, just the stress leaving her body, but he joined her, his shoulders were shaking, he had such a beautiful whole body laughter, and she grabbed his ears and made him look at him too.

"I'm in love with you too." The blue eyes widened, and she grinned to him. "And your Patronus is a Kneazle."

"Belt it, Leary." He growled totally insincerely, and she giggled.

"No, but seriously, I'd expect something hench, like a lion or a wolf, and it's…"

She didn't get a chance to finish her line, and she was doing so well, the sarcastic lilt to it was really ace, but now her mouth was busy... And then the tongue, and the hands, and she shifted and was now facing him, even under the layer of gloop handfuls of his glorious hair felt brill, her legs were around his waist…

And that was how six Ministry workers, including his Grandfather, the Headmaster and seven of the Hogwarts Professors found them. Copping off. On the floor. Sitting waist deep into what should not be mentioned. Very unsanitary. Wren would totally freak out about it later.

"Um… There were two Dementors in this sewage, they are detained now, but we are not yet certain the place is safe," the Headmaster's voice was slightly amused, and Thorin tore his mouth from hers, she was so bonkers over him that she just continued to ogle him, completely unaffected by being caught like this.

"Thank you for letting us know, Father," Durinson gave his Da a sunny grin and quickly kissed the tip of Wren's nose. "See, what was I telling you, Leary? No privacy anywhere," he theatrically shook his head mournfully, and she giggled, "And you said we should totally cop off in the sewage. Not one will bother us, you said. It will be fun, you said..."

She burst into laughter and hid her face into his neck. What a duffus!

A/N: The final chapter is written, will be posted tomorrow or a day after, and is dedicated to UKReader as a belated birthday gift! :) It's so fluffy and saccharine so you can substitute a slice of birthday cake with it :D