Title: Knocked Up

Summary: Angels and Demons roam the earth – the Justice League is caught up in the age-old battle between Good and Evil and getting knocked up.

Pairings: include Boostle, Batflash, Blue Arrow (a new pairing consisting of Dove and Green Arrow.) Questressawk(Question/Huntress/Hawk(yes I went there!) and Shinilante... ArseWing and more as chapters progress

Chapter 36

"Are they drunk?" Bart asked, startled. Kon had just told him that Clark and Bruce agreed to let the four of them go bowling for Bart and Tim's fourteenth birthday.

"I think so," Kon said, "But I ain't gonna argue with them; even if Crimson Avenger is coming with us."

"Why Crimson Avenger?" Tim asked.

"Who is he?" Bart asked.

"Like me, no powers," Tim said. "Dressed in red, uses a gun, like Vigilante."

"Is he a cowboy too?" Kon-El asked.

"Don't think so," Cassie said.

"yee-haw," Bart smirked, "Well, at least we know we have something to do on our birthday."

"Yippee," Tim grinned. "Where did Bruce and Wally say they were going?"

"PSW," Bart said, "Apparently they have a day care they can leave Owen when Bruce starts 'working.'"

"We should go there to," Kon-El said. "How long do you think it will take us to fly there?"

"Maybe half an hour," Bart said, "Plus finding it, so an hour."

"I can't be bothered," Tim said, he didn't want to sit on Kon-El again. Not after what happened last time.

"It's not like you have to do anything," Bart said. "You just have to sit there on Kon and not get a hard-on."

Cassie and Kon laughed as Tim glared at Bart, "Shut up, bro."

"Oh, hello," Metatron grinned when a large group of Leaguers walked into the foyer of PSW. In front of him were the five pregnant men, their partners, and a few extra family members. "Fancy seeing you lot here… is anything wrong? Is Martha alright right?"

"Martha's fine," Don said.

"Unless if you count the endless coffee, chocolate and falling over her shoelaces," Hank finished.

"She has her moments," Metatron shrugged, when he noticed the infant in Bruce's arms. Metatron held his hand out at the infant, who promptly tried to thrust himself into the seraphim's arms. "Isn't he a little early?"

"Didn't Martha tell you?" Bruce said.

"Oh, is he the speedster?" Metatron asked as Owen pulled at his finger, almost as though he was trying to pull the man towards him. Owen shrieked when the angel didn't move. "Don't you have a set of lungs on you?"

Owen replied with a cheerful scream. Metatron grinned as the humans laughed.

"So what's happening?" Metatron asked.

"Are we able to enroll our children here for day-care?" Bruce said. "Or night care?"

"I don't see why not," Metatron said, "These doors are open for every one, at anytime of the day. I can get you all enrolment forms if you like?"

"Yes please," Don grinned.

"I'll go and get them, and then I'll show you the infant's room," Metatron said as he watched two teenagers run up to him. "Just a second."

"Mr Troy! Mr Troy!" a boy with long black hair cried.

"Mr Uriel glued himself to a chair!" the next boy with red hair screamed.

"Again!" Metatron cried, before facing the confused group. "I'll be back in fifteen. Jackson, what number is this?"

"Forty-three," the black haired boy said. "Of course that's only for this year.

"Edward, can you stay with our guests?" Metatron said.

"Sure," the teen nodded.

"I'm sorry," Metatron said to his guests. "Edward, actually take them towards the infants room. Patience, Faith, or Hope should be able to show them around, until I come back."

"Okay sir," Edward nodded as Metatron gave the men and women a sorry and scurried off.

"Does this Uriel guy always do this?" Booster Gold asked, pulling Ted along by the waist as they followed Edward.

"Usually," Edward replied.

"Just how did he glue himself to the chair," Bruce asked.

"He was showing us a prank to play on substitute teachers," Edward said.

"And I guess you blokes mistook him for a sub?" Vigilante asked.

"No, actually, he forgot he put the glue on the chair," Edward said.

"How many teachers are there here?" Question asked.

"One for every five students," Edward said. "There's a lot, I still don't even know half of them and I've been here since I was seven."

"How old are you?" Shining Knight asked.

"Fourteen in three days," the boy replied.

"That's funny," Wally said, "My two sons turn fourteen in three days too."

"Cool," Edward grinned. "Happy birthday to them then."

"I'll tell them," Wally said, "If they were here they'd wish you a happy birthday too."

"Thanks," Edward said, shyly. Wally faced Bruce and winked slightly. Bruce nodded vaguely. "Here we are."

The stood in front of a room with a wooden door. Inside they could hear the gurgling, screaming, crying, and playing of little children. Edward knocked on the door, and moments later it was opened, revealing the white haired Patience.

"Oh my! Hello! I haven't seen you men and women in ages," Patience said, happily. She screamed delightfully when she saw Owen in Bruce's arms; she swiftly picked the infant up and cuddled him. Owen gurgled happily. "Oh! I see a little buddle of cuteness! Come on in guys."

They followed her inside, and took a good look around the large room. The floor was covered in toys and activities made for infants, as the walls were covered with their artworks and pictures of humans and animals of all sorts engaged in all sorts of activities. There was around thirty babies and nine adults behind a large gate that prevented the babies from entering the small area the Leaguers stood.

"Wow, it's gorgeous," Don said, before pointing at a door in the corner. "Is that the cot room?"

"Yeap," Patience said, as she too pointed to another two doors. "We have three cot rooms as the fewer infants in a room the better."

"Are they all orphans?" Hank asked. "Cause Martha said most of the children are?"

"Fourteen are," Patience said, "Others have parents working here during the day."

"Who stays with them during the night?" Bruce asked.

"More workers," Patience said. "I usually work nightshift, but I have a few things I need to do tonight. Oh, hello Edward."

"Hi Miss Patience," Edward grinned.

"Why aren't you in class?" Patience asked, ruffling the boy's hair.

"Mr Uriel did it again."

"What? Inhale too much chalk dust, or glue him self to a chair?" Patience asked, "Or something else?"

"The chair again," Edward giggled.

"This Uriel fellow has an interesting track record," Vigilante said.

"Which is why he isn't in this room," Patience smirked. "I presume you want the enrolment forms."

"Yes thank you," Don said, politely. Patience smiled as she grabbed a folder, she opened it and slipped out several papers.

"You'll need one for every child," Patience said, "And I'd wait until they are born before you return them to us."

"How many days can you take them?" Bruce asked.

"As many as you need," Patience replied.

"Can we leave Hank here?" Question asked, Hank spun around and glared at the pregnant man.

"Fortunately for us, no," Patience grinned.

"What is this, 'gang up on Hank day'?" Hank snapped.

"No, its lets annoy Metatron day," they turned to find Metatron with a really irritated look on his face. He held up his hand to reveal a tube of superglue stuck on his palm. The League laughed as Metatron tried to pull it off. "Ow! Ouch! Ow! Oh, I give up."

"We really need to stop Uriel from using the glue," Patience said, as she tried to pull of the glue tube.

"Ow! Ouch! Stop!" Metatron screeched, pulling his hand away. He hid it behind his back and moved away from Patience as she tried to grab his hand, "Go away!"

"Sweat should make it fall off," Booster Gold said.

"I think that only works in the Simpsons," Flash said.

"Or you could always cut your hand off," Metatron turned to see Michael standing near him.

"Don't even think about it," Metatron said, swatting Michael's wrist away when he tried to make a grab for the glue.

"Fine walk around with it stuck to your hand," Michael shrugged. "Serena needs to see you."

"What did she do? Dye one of her students' hair," Metatron sighed.

"No, one of them turned her hair green," Michael replied.

"Ohhh, that's not good," Metatron winced.

"Yeah, listen closely," Michael said, "You can hear her ranting."

"That doesn't sound like Serena," Metatron said, as they heard angry yelling. "That sounds more like Cass- Martha."

"Oh boy," Michael said, sarcastically. "She was easily angered when you know and now that she's you know, her anger, you know gets worse."

"Uh, no, I don't know," Metatron said, with a raised brow. The Leaguers also eyed each other confused. "I'm as confused as you are."

"I think he means before you-know-who died; when she was still a you-know-what," Patience said, "So now that she is a you-know-what, her temper flares up more."

Metatron stood with his mouth agape and his left eyebrow arched upwards. "You lost me-OW!"

Michael stood smugly with the glue tube in his hand as Metatron cradled his sore hand. The Leaguers laughed loudly as Michael tried to throw the tube in the bin, only to find it stuck to his fingers.

"Naturally," Michael muttered.

Half an hour later, the Leaguers each had a handful of papers in their arms and were heading for the exit of the PSW building. They were walking through the older browner parts of the building.

"Hey, Troy where can I find Roy?" Dick asked, as he cradled a sleeping Owen. Bruce walked behind him, smiling adoringly at his first and oldest son, and his youngest.

"Oh my God," the group turned to find Don gaping into a room. "Um, Dick I think I found him."

Dick walked back towards Don, his eyes widened as everyone followed and peered into the room. Roy was standing on a table, with a long ruler in his hand swinging it to and fro like a pirate as a group of teenagers giggled loudly.

"On guard!" Roy shouted, jumping down to the ground. "Arr, me matey!"

"Has he gone mad?" Don asked, as Roy continued to fence around the room thrusting his sword at no one but the air. Roy suddenly stopped jumping and fighting when he noticed the group staring at him from outside with humour, fear or a 'what the fuck' look in their eyes.

"Well, that pretty much end the story of Edward Teach," Roy said, as his class laughed happily. "Otherwise known as Blackbeard the Pirate!"

"Arr!" a few of the teens called out.

"Alright, I'll see you guys later then," Roy grinned, as the Leaguers walked inside, the teenagers began to pack up and leave one by one. "Have a good day kiddos."

"Ahoy there captain," Wally grinned, Roy smirked, cheekily. "Are you drunk? Is the rum gone?"

"Why is the rum gone?" Dick said, outraged.

"Oh stop quoting that stupid movie," Ollie snapped.

"It isn't stupid," Don said. "It's awesome!"

"He is just angry he ain't as cool as Jack Sparrow," Wally laughed.

"Captain, Captain Jack Sparrow," Roy corrected.

"Bye sir," his last student said.

"Bye Henry," Roy said.

"Okay, I'm confused," Bruce said. "Why are you here? Teaching? Teenagers?"

"No reason," Roy replied. "Was bored, so I decided to stay."

"Are you sick?" Ollie asked.

"No," Roy said rolling his eyes. "Why are you here?"

"Enrolling the babies in day-care," Ollie replied as Roy threw an arm around Dick's shoulders

"What about Bart, Tim, Cass and Kon?" Roy asked. "Don't you wanna get rid of them too?"

"Can we?" Bruce asked, perking up. "Maybe we can leave them all here, including Roy and Dick?"

"Haha," Dick said, bluntly.

"Maybe we'll accept Bart, but I'm not sure about the rest," Metatron said. "He seemed quiet when we met him."

"What the hell did you drink that night?" Martha asked.

"Water," Metatron said.

"Are you sure it wasn't vodka?" she smirked.

"I don't like alcohol," Metatron said.

"Neither do I," Roy said, thumping Metatron across the back playfully. The Seraphim jumped, startled. "Gimme my Coke Zero any day!"

"Uriel gave you that tea didn't he?" Metatron asked. Roy nodded, "I'm gonna kill him."

"No way!" Bart whispered as he woke up, the morning of his birthday. He scurried over to Tim's bed and shook his best friend and brother awake. "Wakey, wakey."

"Go away," Tim murmured, "Don't wanna go to school."

"Its Saturday, Timmy," Bart whispered, softly. "Remember it's our birthday? In an hour we leave to go bowling with Konny and Cass."

"Five more minutes," Tim said, as Bart noticed a large plastic maze-like cage in the corner of their room. He zoomed over and squealed happily. "What?"

"We have gerbils!" Bart grinned.

Tim sat up groggily and stared at the cage. "Where from?"

"There's a card," Bart said, opening it as Tim stumbled over, "Dear Tim and Bart, hope you like the hamsters, oh so they're not gerbils, have a great fourteenth birthday, love Owen, dad and mum… This is Wally's writing, I can't really read the writing underneath but I think it is Bruce's."

"It says Shut up Wally, you're the mummy. Happy birthday boys, and don't name your hamsters after us," Tim read.

"So which hamster do you want?" Bart said, as he opened the cage carefully, not to scare the tiny hamsters.

"I like the grey one," Tim said, as Bart slowly picked up the tiny hamster that attempted to escape. Bart handed the small hamster to Tim and watched it slowly sniff the palm of his new owner. "God, that tickles."

"Call him Sniffles," Bart shrugged as he tried grabbed the orange and white hamster. The rodent scurried away quickly, "This ones quick, reminds me of that squirrel in Over the Hedge."

"Don't remind me of that stupid movie," Tim said, as Bart finally picked up the hamster. "Last time we let Konny pick a movie."

"Well at least it wasn't one of you romantic comedies," Bart muttered, stroking the hamster's forehead gently.

"That was Cass's idea," Tim said, moodily. "Um, is this one a girl or a boy?"

"Um, the card says the grey one is a girl," Bart said, "Mine's a boy."

"Oh great they can breed then," Tim said. Bart grinned as Tim sat thinking, "I think I might name her Silvia."

"Silvia?" Bart repeated, "Isn't it a little too long?"

"Silver then," Tim shrugged.

"Silver?" Bart asked. "You are hopeless."

"Well, what are you gonna name your hamster then?" Tim retorted.

"Hammy," Bart said, "plain and simple, ain't that right Hammy?"

The hamster didn't reply.

"Well I like Silvia," Tim said. Bart smirked as he placed Hammy back in the cage. Tim followed and returned Silvia to the cage. He shut the door and turned to Bart.

"Well, let's go eat before Kon and Cass come," Bart grinned, as he threw Tim a wrapped box, "Oh and by the way, happy birthday."

"Right back at you," Tim grinned as he threw his gift to Bart. Both teens opened their second present of the day happily. "Cool!"

Bart had gotten him a chain with a skull shaped ring with red jewels in the place of the eyes. With out a second thought he slipped it around his middle finger.

"Hey Bart," the long haired teen turned to find Tim gesturing rudely at him with his new ring gleaming proudly.

"You like it?" Bart asked, uncertainly as he slipped on his new blood red t-shirt with the Flash lightning bolt across his chest. Underneath it was written, (quite appropriately) Fastest Brat Alive!

"I love it!" Tim grinned, "How do you like the shirt!"

"It's awesome," Bart grinned, "But I wonder if they coming with spelling errors."

"Huh?"

"Fastest Bart Alive!" Bart grinned, hugging his brother with one arm as they left their room. "I wonder what Konny and Cass got us."

"I guess we'll see," Tim said. "Today should be cool. Even with the Crimson Avenger."

"What's that guy's real name any way?" Bart asked.

"I think its Lee or something like that," Tim said, as they walked past Owen's room. Bart dragged Tim inside to find Owen lying in his bed gurgling as he tried to reach the flying Batmans and Robins above his head. "Do you think Bruce and Wally are awake?"

"Yeah," Bart nodded, as he pulled a gurgling Owen into his arms. "Let's go."

Owen snuggled happily against Bart's chest as Bart grabbed Tim by the arm and pulled him along. Tim stared at Owen, the infant's grin fell and his eyes narrowed, Tim looked away startled as Owen smirked, cheekily.

"Well, what did you do there all those days?" Dick asked, as he lay in Roy's warm arms.

"Not much really, just taught them what I need to teach," Roy grinned, "I had to teach one class about puberty."

"I bet you enjoyed that," Dick laughed, turning around so they were stomach to stomach. He gently twirled his finger around Roy's sculpted chest, "I've missed you."

"I missed you more," Roy smiled, kissing Dick on his cold forehead. "Jesus, you're freezing."

"Not really," Dick said, looking up at Roy confused. "I feel fine."

"Probably just me then," Roy grinned, "Do we have to get up?"

"I promised Bruce I'd be there to help set up at ten," Dick said, "The boys leave to bowl at nine-thirty."

"So let's get there at ten-thirty," Roy yawned, "I feel like I haven't slept in days."

"Hey what did Metatron tell you?" Dick asked.

"Well, apparently Owen is too smart a baby," Roy said, "I didn't press his cleft hard enough, so it's left him with too much knowledge."

"Is it dangerous?" Dick asked, worried about the infant he considered his nephew and brother.

"No," Roy smiled, assuring his lover. "He's fine, oh and he also told me to stop leading you on. You're the one throwing your self at me."

"What can I say?" Dick grinned, "You're irresistible."

"I know," Roy said, "I'm sexy too."

"Mmhmm," Dick agreed.