Okay, I've actually had this idea for a while now, and I didn't publish it because I thought it was too weird and nobody would ever read it. But then it was requested and I was so happy, I rushed straight to my laptop and wrote it all in one sitting. If Gotham keeps rushing the origin stories, this is what Batman will be like (Which is not a bad thing, really...)

Dear Diary,

Today, Miss Pepper was sick, and I insisted she stay in bed for the day. Unfortunately, she said she was a plant and got her nutrition and health from sunlight, so she instead spent the day lying on a blanket in the yard. I was going to bring her medicine when she told me she was trying to sleep.

Miss Kyle jumped up from behind me and handed me a notebook that she had written in and drawn on.

"What's this?" I asked.

Miss Kyle grinned. "Well, we knew Ivy was sick and we wanted to do something nice for her, so we wrote her a bedtime story! You can read it to her."

"Well, that's rather sweet. You all worked together on this?"

"Yep! Well, me more than the others, and some didn't really agree with a lot of it, so I had to get my whip out, but yeah, together."

I sat down next to Miss Pepper as the kids watched through the window and started reading.

The Adventures of Catgirl and Batboy- by Cat. (and a few other people.)

Once upon a time, in the bleak and dreary city of Gotham, there was a girl named Cat. She was fourteen and lived in Wayne manor with a few other people and an uptight butler. By day, she was just an ordinary street kid, but by night, she was Catgirl. She was awesome and hot and wore skin tight black leather. The moonlight glinted awesomely off of her red goggles, and a whip hung off her belt. She stood over the top of a huge tower so she was silhouetted against the moon awesomely with her sidekick, Batboy, who also wore tights with a black cape and pointy bat ears on his head, and the two had sworn to defend Gotham city from evil people and uptight butlers.

But not all was right in Gotham. There was an evil in the air. The Joker and his sidekick Harley Quinn were out there, with an evil plan. Catgirl had to find out what it was and stop it, but first, she had to get off of the giant freaking tower that Jack wrote in and got spanked for.

Batboy hung onto Catgirl and the two swung down from their perch down to the ground. Then, they had to figure out what to do.

"What should we do, Catgirl? You're so smart and pretty and perfect and I love you!" said Batboy, wondering what to do.

Catgirl wasn't worried. She exclaimed, "The great and evil Joker isn't far from here. One of his associates, Scarecrow, hides out near here, so I say we pay him a visit."

"Oh, good idea, Catgirl! You're so pretty and I love you!"

After Jack had finished writing the last few lines and immediately lost his writing privileges in this book, and I assumed full control of this thing, Catgirl and Batboy headed to the abandoned warehouse to see what was going on. Before they could see anything, a green gas covered the floor and seeped into the air. Catgirl slapped a gas mask over her face as fast as she could, but Batboy was too slow. He dropped on the ground and started screaming in fear.

Out of nowhere, Scarecrow jumped at them and hung Batboy from a clothes hook by the back of his underwear, and stared down Catgirl.

"Let Batboy go!" Catgirl demanded, opening her hands and activating the claws on her fingers.

Scarecrow, who was dressed in a black hoodie with a burlap mask over his face, laughed evilly and growled, "Batboy is gone now. You are next."

Scarecrow punched Catgirl in the face, and Jonny was no longer allowed to write anything else in this book. Catgirl and Scarecrow fought an epic battle, neither of them effected by the green gas, and swiped at each other wildly. Both of them landed some good hits, but Catgirl finally swiped at Scarecrow's mask with her claws and ripped it, letting the gas seep through.

Scarecrow fell to the ground screaming, and Catgirl grabbed him, shaking him and yelling, "Where's the Joker?!"

"Don't hurt me!" Scarecrow whimpered. "Joker's at Wayne manor! He's kidnapped the butler and is planning to spread his laughing gas all over the city!"

Catgirl dropped Scarecrow on the ground and plucked the antidote to the gas from his belt. She ran over to Batboy and unhooked his pants from the clothes hook, injecting him with the cure.

"It's okay, Batboy! I'm here now, and I'm gorgeous and amazing!"

"AAAAGH! THERE ARE BATS EVERYWHERE! GET THEM OFF OF ME! AAAAAAGH!" screamed Batboy, as Bruce is regretting telling me he's afraid of bats, and suddenly stops screaming when the antidote starts working.

"It's okay, Batboy." Catgirl announced. "Now let's go get the Joker!"

Meanwhile, in the dark halls of Wayne manor, Jack was making out with his sidekick, Harley Quinn, and Harley was promptly banished from writing anything else in this story. Alfred the butler was tied up in a chair, yelling, "You'll never get away with this, Joker! Catgirl and Batboy are going to get you!"

Joker laughed maniacally with Harley Quinn, sneering, "Even though Catgirl is smart and pretty and perfect and awesome, she is no match for me!"

That's when the door exploded, and Catgirl and Batboy charged in, ready to stop the bad guys. Catgirl punched Joker in the face, and Batboy started to fight Harley Quinn. Since Batboy could not punch a girl, and Bruce wrote that and I told him to go sit in the corner while I finished the story, Batboy punched Harley Quinn in the face. She was knocked out in the corner, and Batboy and Catgirl punched Joker together, sending him flying into the corner.

"It's no use, Catgirl and Batboy! The bomb on the roof is set to go off in one minute and there's nothing you can do!"

The dynamic duo ran up to the roof to find a huge gas bomb that could infect all of Gotham city with a timer set to go off in thirty seconds. Batboy ran over to the control panel to find a plethora of wires.

"What should I cut, Catgirl? The red wire, or the blue wire?" he asked, panicking.

"Cut all of them!"

Batboy's hand shook as he got his knife out and cut through all the wires at once, making the timer stop and the two heroes fall to the ground in relief.

Detective Gordon ran up the stairs and found the two heroes, sighing in relief, "Thank you, Catgirl and Batboy! You saved the city!"

Batboy smiled, looking into Catgirl's eyes, and the two passionately kissed in the moonlight.

The end.

Miss Pepper grinned, "Thanks, Alfred. I think I feel better now. Thanks guys."

The kids waved through the window, Miss Kyle most enthusiastically. The window accidentally opened, and the kids fell out onto the ground below. Miss Kyle picked herself up and smiled, "Did you like my story?"

I asked, confused, "Why was I a hostage?"

"I don't know."

"Why was Master Bruce your sidekick?"

"He's cute."

"Please don't tell me you kids actually dress up like superheroes in public."

"What, you don't want to know where I got Bruce's tights?"

No introduction this time. If I made one, this would be a journal entry inside of a journal entry, which is just way too trippy. Just so you know, the pivotal chapter where I introduce Alfred's mom is currently under production!