Remember, this is AU, so Gibbs is going to be a bit OOC. Well, okay, maybe a lot OOC! Not beta'd, just a quick proof.
Leroy Jethro Gibbs never minded sitting still for hours on end, at least when he had a mission to do. Being a sniper had taught him patience, self-control, and the ability to keep his mind occupied with silent games and exercises.
But he wasn't a sniper anymore, and having to sit quietly in the confines of a commuter jet at a time when he needed to be anywhere but, was keeping him on the verge of losing it. Not only was it taking too damned long to get to D.C., but the flight was allowing his mind to call up his past; it seemed that once he'd started remembering little things, the gates had opened and allowed out a stampede of his life before his eyes, almost as if he had truly died.
Most of what he was seeing, at least from what was important to him now, was not only pretty decent, but surprisingly domestic. It warmed him in a way he didn't think was possible since waking up in the hospital half out of him mind over a week ago, and he was tempted to believe that perhaps he was remembering someone else's recent life and not his.
There were scenes of happy dinners with his team, cook outs, even; glimpses of hugs and butterfly kisses, and steaks in front of his living room fireplace. Somewhere over what he figured was the state of Alabama, though, his memories snagged on a scene in his basement, where the young man he was in such haste to see had confronted him, and Gibbs had sent him packing with terrible words of accusation, and a meanness that he didn't know he even possessed anymore. He knew there had been times when he'd brought Tony up shorter than he probably should have for some misdeed or poor choice of words, but he was pretty sure he'd never laid into the younger man so harshly for any reason, ever.
There was no doubt that Gibbs had been in a really bad place a week ago, through no fault of his own, and that his behavior and thought processes were totally upside down and inside out. He trusted no one, remembered no one, except his deceased wife and child, and took it on Abby's word that she was his god daughter and Kelly's best friend, mostly because he had needed that connection to Kelly so badly that he would have believed anything she told him right then. Except the fact that Tony was not his enemy, and that no one wanted him to leave.
Knowing that his scrambled brains had made for his abusive behavior and roller coaster emotions didn't make Gibbs feel any less guilty for inflicting that pain on those he knew now were the closest thing to family anyone could have without being related by blood. He'd been in bad situations before, and was always able to keep things under control until whatever had up-ended him had settled or moved on.
This time around he had lost all vestiges of any internal rudder that kept him from listing too far. That Tony happened to be the one he unleashed his inner wounded animal on was the worst thing he could have done before leaving, and now he may not have the chance to fix it. His mind took him back to a time when he had lost his temper with his second due to something that had nothing to do with the case they were working on, or even Tony's behavior, and head slapped him hard for not answering him soon enough.
Kate had been so furious at him she'd gone home for the day without asking permission rather than do bodily harm to her boss, and much worse than that, Tony had looked at him with such wretched disbelief and hurt that Gibbs thought that it might possibly be the end of their friendship. For his part, Tony had taken a personal day the next day, and while he was soothing his hurt with museums and gourmet restaurant food, Gibbs was gnawing his knuckles off in suspense, having little doubt the kid had taken up Fornell on his constant and supposedly joking offer to join his team.
Tony had shown up the next morning without comment about the loss of Gibbs' temper with him, but he knew well enough that his 'mental health day' had done a number on his boss's own mental health.
Gibbs was as sweet as peach pie to him for the rest of the week, until Tony had called a halt to it all and told him to knock it off or he really was going to quit. The day spent thinking Tony was filling out forms at the Hoover Building HR department was a pretty good punishment for Gibbs, and the look on Gibbs' face when he'd shown up to work told the younger agent that his boss had learned his lesson about messin' with someone who didn't deserve his wrath.
Granted, he hadn't laid a hand on Tony this time, but Gibbs knew he'd done something even worse. He'd made memories for Tony that would ruin the younger man's joy of spending time with him in the one place he felt the safest - screamed horrible things about how Tony had gotten onto his team, called him demeaning names, accused him of being a thief and a drug addict, for Gods sake. Where in the hell had that kind of outrageous stuff come from? He was making a judgment call on the kid just by looking at him. As if that kind of shallow, non-gut profiling had ever worked for him in the past. Had gotten him three ex-wives, loads of ex-employees, and several ex-girlfriends is what it had gotten him. He knew better.
But there had been something about Tony at that moment that had made Gibbs want to lash out with all he had to make him go away and leave him alone. Whatever it was, it had frightened the gunny back then. Whatever it was, was frightening him now, too. God, if he hadn't run off to Mexico in the first place, Tony wouldn't be lying in Bethesda right now getting umpteen units of blood and who knew what else to keep him alive? Abby and Kate were going to kill him, right after he killed Phillip Davenport for involving Tony in some bogus undercover operation. The man was the damned Secretary of the Navy, not some rookie trying to make a good impression on his new boss, he was supposed to know better.
Those hours of suspended animation were some of the longest hours of his life. He finally decided that if he had enough time to think of all the crappy things he had done before he left, he'd better take some of that time figuring out how to make up for it. He made a mental list in his head of what he needed to do when Tony was well enough to understand what he was saying, and of his apologies to the rest of them for leaving without telling them. He may not have remembered them, but he had been told they were his team and surrogate family, and he should have had the decency to at least let them know why and where he was going.
He had a feeling that he would find out that Tobias Fornell had stepped in and taken over for him and while the thought made him feel simultaneously grateful and jealous, he knew he owed the man big time.
**NCIS**
Fornell had just decided to go find a decent cup of anything to drink for himself when he looked up to see Director Thomas Morrow heading his way. He knew from talking to his contacts that Morrow had not been a part of SecNav's idiotic power play, had in fact tried to stop the man, but he was still pissed at anyone Tony worked for. Including Jethro Gibbs. Ducking into the nearest supply closet to avoid the man seemed a bit ridiculous, so he waited for Morrow to catch up with him.
"Agent Fornell. May I have a few minutes with you, please?"
Fornell shrugged indifferently, his face unreadable. The man wasn't his boss, he could disrespect him if he felt like it.
"Just wanted to get on the same page with you regarding Agent DiNozzo."
"Meaning...what?" Fornell asked the man suspiciously. "He's not in any trouble, at least he'd better not be!"
Morrow had the grace to smile at the Fibbie's protective stance and attitude. He knew Fornell was close to Gibbs and his crew, he had never appreciated just how much.
"No, of course not, this was not his choice. The op, I mean. Davenport left him no choice. I tried to fight him but in the end, he had better weapons than I did."
"Meaning bigger brass and more political connections."
"Yes. Pretty much sums it up. I'm still not sure of what happened, but I have a pretty good idea, and I've relayed everything I know to Pacci and his team. Anything you can do to help them I would really appreciate, Tony especially. I know Gibbs is usually with him when he ends up in the hospital, but he won't be here for a few hours yet."
"Jethro's on his way here?" Fornell's voice rose an octave in disbelief. " How? I mean, who was able to get in touch with him, I thought he was unreachable!"
"It would seem that Ms. Sciuto planted a twenty dollar cell phone on him loaded with call time in case there was an emergency."
"Well this is about as big of an emergency as they've ever had, but I'm surprised Jethro agreed to come back, especially for Tonio. I heard he laid into the kid pretty good the night before he left. Doesn't translate as concerned and caring in my book."
"Apparently Jethro's been able to remember quite a bit since he's been down there. I don't think it's all come back for him, but a good share of it. Ducky said that could have been all he needed, was some rest and peace and quiet. No one's said that he's not going to go back there as soon as Tony's on his feet again, but at least he's willing to come back now when DiNozzo really needs him."
"Yeah. I guess. I'll believe it when I see him walk through that door and apologize to Skippy. Till then, he's still on my crap list, along with Davenport. You I'm not so sure about, but it'll all come out in the wash, believe you me. I'll make sure of it."
"I'm sure you will, Tobias." Morrow smiled genuinely, knowing that although his part in the whole FUBAR mission was that of a hand-tied subordinate, his role would still be highly scrutinized by Anthony DiNozzo's clan. It was an alarming thought, but he'd not gotten to where he was by running away from confrontations. He'd deal with it all as it happened.
"Abby and Agent Todd are in the VIP waiting room, one of the nurses will take you there, they'll get you whatever you need until you can see DiNozzo. I have to go and see what I can find out about Davenport, the press is having a field day speculating about what happened, and no one from his office will answer anyone's calls. Time to go bang heads, even if it's Davenport's and that idiot Chief of Information."
"You let me know how you make out, Director. I'll keep you posted on what's going on here." Fornell gave him a weak parting smile, and headed for the nurse's station to wait for Ducky to get done gleaning whatever information he could about Tony's surgery status, and then impart whatever news that was, good or bad, to two very worried women. He knew they were expecting him to be the life raft in this sudden storm at sea, but frankly, he wasn't sure how long he could stay afloat himself if things took a turn for the worse with Tony.
He'd never minded admitting he was fond of the kid, and that he worried when Tony was injured on a case, but this was so startlingly more serious than anything that had ever happened to the young agent, that he unexpectedly found himself sick with fear at the prospect of losing him from his life. Gibbs had always been able to circumvent or anticipate most of his second's catastrophes, sometimes with Fornell's help, and now both of them had failed to be there for Tony.
About five hours later, after Tony had come out of surgery and recovery and Fornell had been allowed to see him briefly and report back Tony's surrogate sisters that he was indeed alive, but quite a bit worse for the wear, he got the call he wasn't honestly expecting. Ducking out into the hallway from the VIP waiting room, he answered it quietly, and then informed Kate and Abby he'd be back in about an hour or so. They weren't going to be allowed to see Tony for at least that long, so they headed down to the commissary for a real lunch, and the hospital gift shop to buy some cheery get well gifts for Tony while Fornell took care of his end of things.
A half hour later he was fighting the airport traffic jams and searching through the crowds for one Leroy Jethro Gibbs. He almost walked right past the man, who was sporting much longer hair, a few day's growth of beard, and a very strange looking mustache. Not to mention the golden glow of Gibbs' once pale 'hours of working indoors and then retreating to his basement' skin.
If the man's out appearance took him by surprise, it was nothing compared to the shock he got when Gibbs pulled him into a bear hug and slapped his back, as if it hadn't been only days ago that the man
was barely functioning, much less showing such outward emotion.
"Tobias. Thanks for picking me up." he told him quietly as he withdrew from the unexpected hug.
"Wasn't sure anyone would come."
"Jeze, Jethro, why wouldn't we? We weren't sure you'd actually get here, but we sure as hell wouldn't leave you stranded at the airport!"
"Yeah, well. I've hurt my family, and they're all I've got. Wasn't sure any of you actually wanted me back, but I had to see Tony."
Fornell stood back and squeezed the man's shoulder with conviction.
"We've been waiting for you to come back, Jethro, and we would have kept waiting for you for as long as it took. Nobody blames you for leaving, we understood." It was the way you left that threw us for a loop, Fornell bit his tongue against the last thought. "We're just glad you feel better and want to come see Tony."
"How is he, Tobias? Abby was hysterical, I mean, beyond her usual hysterics. She was angry at me. That's how I knew how serious it was, but I couldn't call on the plane."
Fornell stopped and looked the worried man in the eye, wanting to make sure that Gibbs saw that he was being truthful and not just trying to make him feel better.
"He's in rough shape, but Ducky and his doctors say he's going to make it. It'll just take him longer this time."
"God..." Gibbs seemed to lose inches from his frame as he sagged into himself with relief and closed his eyes. He swallowed the huge lump in his throat, not caring if Fornell saw the dampness threatening to spill from his eyes. "Of all the times for Davenport to go rogue.."
Fornell merely nodded his head and picked up the pace, wanting to get out of the bustling crowd and back to Bethesda. Any longer than his allotted time and the girls would be calling out the National Guard to find him.
"Got more luggage to pick up or just this?"
"Just the carry on. Left most of it back there."
Fornell turned to him with a look of alarm on his face, which Gibbs easily picked up on.
"Don't ask me if I'm going back or not, Tobias, there's too many variables at play here. I didn't leave anything valuable if I don't go back, so either way it doesn't matter."
Fornell wanted to debate it all with him right then, but the airport was teaming with so many Saturday travelers that they could barely hear themselves think, much less carry on an intense conversation, so he once again kept his mouth shut, figuring they could talk once they got on their way to the hospital.
"So Abby and Kate aren't still mad at me?" Gibbs asked, tossing his bag into the back seat and settling into the passenger's seat.
"Honestly, Jethro, I don't think either one of them was mad at you to begin with.' Fornell told him as he pulled out of the airport parking lot and into traffic. "We were – hurt, is more the word for it. And even then we understood that you were only firing on a couple of cylinders. We were worried about you – and shocked that you just took off without telling any of us, but – I don't think any of us were angry at you, not for that, at least."
It took Gibbs a minute or so, but he got what Fornell was trying to tell him. It wasn't that he needed to leave and get his head together, or even that he didn't realize that they needed to hear it from him that he was leaving and where he was going, that they were still upset about. It was something farther reaching than that.
"I – I hurt Tony before I left – how did – did he -"
"No, he didn't tell me. Or Kate or Abby. Abby overheard you when she was coming in to the kitchen to drop off your paperwork from Ducky. She figured there wasn't much she could do but make things worse by getting in the middle of it, so she left and kept it to herself. She told me she wanted to slam your head into your boat and put Tony out of his misery, but didn't think that would help things, either. She said she knew you'd remember every word of it someday and you'd have to live with it, and that would be the worst punishment you could get."
"Christ, she was right. I was sick to my stomach when I remembered. I don't know where the hell it came from, or why I went after him like that, but I can still see the look on his face. God help me, it was what I wanted to see at the time, and I can't begin to tell you why, but now...I just don't know if he'll really forgive me for it."
"Well, Jethro, seeing as how I don't know what you said to him, and by the sounds of it, I don't want to, I can't say with a hundred percent certainty what he'll do, but knowing the bambino like I do, I think he'll find a way to get past it. It may take a little more groveling than you're used to, but I know if you put your mind to it, you'll figure it out."
Gibbs turned to the man he'd called his best friend for the past several years, and took in the new lines of worry around his eyes and mouth. The guy had been carrying both of their loads, and he couldn't be thankful enough to the man. But he could at least try.
"Thank you, Tobias. For not giving up on me, and for doing my job while I was gone. I'm really...I'm glad you're my friend. Thanks."
Fornell had to clear his throat, a tiny bit choked up from the gruff Gunny's heartfelt admission.
"You're welcome, Jethro. You'd do the same for me, no doubt in my mind. It's all gonna work itself out, we just need to take it a little at a time. You've got a good crew, they all care about you, and each other. Never seen anything like it in my career. And I have to say I feel lucky to be a part of it. Everything is going to be fine, it's just gonna be a little rough in some spots. By the way, I haven't told Kate or Abby that you're here, I figured you could surprise them, so be ready for anything when you see them."
Gibbs wasn't sure whether to grimace or smile at that warning. He guessed he'd find out soon enough.