Chapter 37: The Yagami siblings
Taichi didn't remember how it was before Hikari was born, but he knew that it had been a less joyful period of his life. His most intense memories revolved around his parents arguing, especially when his father returned home drunk after work. Not that Hikari's birth changed that, but the presence of his little sister took the boy's mind away from their shouting. He liked to look at her peaceful baby face and play with her until she slept.
When Hikari became a toddler, their mother began to leave them alone for many hours during the day. Taichi was responsible for taking care of his little sister. She was very calm and hardly cried; when that happened, he was able to soothe her by reminding the girl that he was there and everything would be fine. Taichi never stopped telling her that.
A few times, she fixated her eyes in a corner of the apartment, as if she could see something that wasn't there. Their mother noticed that behavior once and became concerned. The woman brought it up to her husband, but he dismissed it as nothing to worry about, which led to a new argument.
The next times Hikari behaved that way, Taichi put a lot of effort in convincing her that there was nothing where she was looking. It didn't work, though. One day, not only did his sister see something, but she also heard the thing crying for help. His attempts to dissuade her didn't stop Hikari from taking a few steps away from him, kneeling on the floor and stretching her hand. As she talked to the invisible being, pink sparks left her fingertips and vanished in the air. At the same time, the lights of the apartment began to flicker and the electronic devices emitted strange sounds.
"HIKARI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!" Taichi cried, pulling the girl by her shoulders. In that moment, she lost consciousness.
Taichi didn't know what to do. Their mother wasn't at home and wouldn't be back for hours, like usual. He took the toddler to her bed and observed her. Hikari seemed to be just asleep. She had a tired but happy expression when she woke up one hour later.
"I saved her, Onii-chan." Hikari muttered. "She won't suffer anymore…"
"Who are you talking about?"
"The white beastie from the other world." Hikari replied. "She's always calling me… she wants me to go where she is."
Taichi had believed that whatever Hikari thought she had seen only existed in her imagination. But after the events of that day, he began to wonder if there really was something out there trying to get his sister.
"I'm going to protect you!" The boy vowed. "I won't let anything from another world get close to you!"
Hikari didn't react to his words with relief. Instead, she showed him a sad expression.
The girl didn't bring up any strange thing for the next year, nor did she seem to remember about any beastie. Taichi wondered if he had imagined the flickering lights, strange noises and the sparks emanating from his sister's fingers. Whatever that was, he was relieved to think it was over.
His parents still fought a lot. During a particularly intense argument, Hikari woke up in tears. Taichi sat on her bed, caressed her head and sang for her, to try to calm her down.
"I'm going to leave you if you don't stop drinking!" They could hear their mother threatening their father at the kitchen, through the closed bedroom door.
"You're a high school drop-out! You'll never survive without me!" The man retorted.
Hikari trembled, making Taichi tighten the hug.
"You don't have to be afraid of anything. I'm here with you." He assured. "I will always be with you."
The shouts got louder and scarier as accusations of one of them ruining the other's life were thrown around. Taichi had begun to tremble more than his sister, despite trying to soothe her. Before he could react, Hikari broke free of his embrace and ran towards the kitchen.
"Hikari, don't!" He tried to stop her.
Their parents were terrifying when they were angry at each other. What would they do to the little girl if she interrupted them? Taichi sometimes had nightmares about his drunken father walking menacingly in his direction, with rage in the eyes. "It's all because of you!" The man roared, pointing an accusing finger to the boy, right before the mother put herself between them and ordered the kid to go back to his bedroom. On his way there, the boy heard his father calling him "mistake." Taichi wasn't sure if those images in his dreams were just a product of his imagination.
Taichi followed her and trembled at the sight of the adults, fearing that his sister would be yelled at. However, Hikari was the one to shout:
"Please, stop yelling! You're making us upset!"
The two adults stared at the little girl, seemingly in shock. Hikari had small tears shining in her eyes, but didn't look away from them, clenching her fists despite slightly trembling. Taichi put himself between his sister and his parents. He wanted to say something, to ask them not to be mad at the girl, but to be under their gaze paralyzed him. He noticed a bit later that Hikari was holding his right arm and pulling him, silently asking for them to go back to the bedroom. They did so, without hearing any protest from the adults. The two kids didn't hear their parents raising their voices again.
"It's going to be okay, Onii-chan." Hikari promised, tucking herself under her sheet.
Taichi climbed the stair to his bed in silence, feeling as if his heart had gotten heavier. Despite being so young, his sister showed more courage and resolve than he had. Taichi believed that he should have been the one to protect the girl, the one to take the initiative to stand up for others. Deep shame ate him from the inside out.
With time, their father began to drink less often, which made their mother smile more. The times when the two adults yelled at each other seemed to have passed. All of that because of what Hikari did. Taichi wondered, after a while, if the results would've been the same had he been the one to call them out. Could it be that they never noticed how their arguments affected their son? Or did they only change their behavior once they realized that Hikari was being hurt as well?
It wasn't as if his parents ever said anything to Taichi directly, but the boy could feel that they showed more care and concern for Hikari than for him. Maybe it was because she was small or because she was a girl, or because she was nice and sweet. He still had sometimes nightmares where his father said everything had been Taichi's fault. Taichi had never heard any similar comment regarding the girl. Maybe there wasn't anything meaningful behind that. Hikari was Taichi's favorite person, it should be normal for her to be the same for other people too.
After they moved to Odaiba, Hikari got the flu and stayed in bed for many days. Taichi felt terrible about her having to stay at home for so long. One day, after returning from school, Taichi found his sister watching TV on the couch, home alone, more bored than he had ever seen her. Assuming that she was feeling better, he took her to the park to play soccer.
The girl wasn't kicking the ball the right way. Taichi had already taught her how to do that.
"Hikari, kick it right!" He said, a bit annoyed.
It didn't take long before she collapsed.
Taichi called an ambulance and went with his sister to the hospital. His mother arrived there a couple of hours later. Furious, the woman slapped him.
"You knew she was sick!" His mother shouted, among tears. "How could you take her out?! What's the matter with you?!"
Taichi had just wanted to play with her, so Hikari could have fun. He had thought she was better and she didn't say she wasn't, she didn't say anything, he had not noticed there was something wrong.
When his father came, he looked at him the same way he did in the boy's nightmares.
"If something happens… if she dies, it'll be your fault!" The man roared, trembling in rage.
Those words echoed in Taichi's mind, hitting him like a wall of bricks. Hikari could die? She could die because of what he did? Because he didn't think things through? Taichi had just wanted to make her happy, he had just wanted for her to have a good time. He should've realized it, he should've noticed it. He neglected her, he made an unforgivable mistake.
Taichi was the mistake. He ruined people's lives. He was the cause of everything. It was all his fault.
After days between life and death, Hikari was liberated from the hospital. As she was carried by their father, she glanced at her brother and muttered:
"I'm sorry for not kicking the ball right… Onii-chan…"
To hear those words in his sister's guilty voice made him feel like the worst person who had ever lived. Taichi wished he could dig a deep and dark hole and jump in there, not to be seen by anyone else, only able to listen to his own cries.
Once they were home and Hikari was in her bed, Taichi apologized to her.
"I shouldn't have taken you out! I'm so sorry!"
"It's okay..." She said, weakly.
"It was dangerous for you! I p-put you in danger! I-I…" He sobbed. "I'll never let anything happen to you again! I'm going to protect you, Hikari! I swear! "
She gave him a sad look, but didn't say anything. After that experience, Hikari became quieter and more mysterious. Strangely, she smiled more.
Sora had met Taichi in her first day of kindergarten, the same day when the other kids made fun of her hair, which was tied in the clip Toshiko had given her. The unknown boy got angry at the kids and told them to stop, which they didn't. It was only a matter of time until Taichi got into a fist fight with them.
He was sent to the infirmary and Sora went to see how he was.
"You didn't have to do that for me." She said.
"Those guys pissed me off and I punched them. It's simple as that." Taichi explained, sitting on a chair. Some bandages had been put on his face and arms.
"Why would you be angry at that? It didn't happen to you." Sora contested.
"Those boys were dumb for making fun of your hair. It looks really cool, like fire!" Taichi interjected.
"You find fire cool…." The girl mumbled, looking away.
"Of course! I wish my hair was like that!" He stated, running his fingers through his hair. "It'd make me look like a human torch! Nothing could be cooler than that!"
Sora smirked at the comment, which made the boy grin.
"I made you laugh! It means that we're friends now!" He said that in such a happy voice that Sora had to smile.
They became inseparable after that.
It didn't take long for Taichi to introduce Sora to his sister and for the three of them to play together. The boy was always enthusiastic about making sure that both girls had fun. Sora found her friend's sister sweet and cute, but perhaps too shy. Nevertheless, she liked Hikari a lot.
Sora had grown accustomed to seeing Taichi's grin whenever she saw him. Then one day, after days of absence, he appeared at school with haunted red eyes and a devastated expression. Before the class started, Sora sat with him in the corridor and asked what had happened. He tried to deny that there was anything out of the ordinary, but the girl's insistence made him talk.
"I took Hikari to play outside when she was sick… I-I thought she was b-better already…" He said, among sobs, while rubbing his eyes. "She was taken to the hospital and almost… I almost k-killed my sister!"
His cry became uglier and louder. Sora pulled his shaking body to a tight hug.
"I'm the worst brother in the world…" Taichi murmured, burying his face in her shoulder.
"That's not true at all!" She affirmed. "You're always thinking about Hikari-chan! Anyone can tell that you love her!"
"I should've noticed that she wasn't well! I should've protected her! A good brother would!" Taichi cried. "Hikari never says anything, she never complains… she's too nice of a person… I should've noticed she was still sick!"
"There's nothing you can do about what happened, but you can be more careful from now on. Don't be so hard on yourself. I know you won't ever let anything bad happen to her again." Sora assured.
"I'll take better care of her. I'll protect her from everything." Taichi vowed.
"You can count on me to help you with that." Sora said. "I'll be always there for you."
She woke up in her futon, with Piyomon by her right and Agumon by her left. Sora stood up and walked to her desk, where her digivice and the quadrangular amulet she had gotten from Picodevimon the day before were. The painted arrow had vanished from it. According to Agumon, that object was used to locate a godly power in the human world, which she assumed was Fate's. When she opened her bedroom's window, the girl saw, under the clear sky, no signs of snow.
It was a sunny and hot summer morning.
Something had happened and had to be discussed in the reunion the chosen children would have that day. Sora took a shower and then put on a pair of jeans pants and a red blouse with short sleeves. She put on new bandages on her hands and covered them with a pair of black gloves. Then, she stuck her digivice on her belt, also picking up the amulet from the desk. The girl opened the hats drawer in her wardrobe but didn't feel like picking one up.
"Don't you have any wig?" Agumon asked behind her. Both he and Piyomon had woken up.
"Sorry." Sora said. "But if you have interest in hats-"
"Alright! If you insist so much, this one will do!" Agumon interrupted, picking up a dark orange fabric hat that almost covered his eyes. "What do you call it?"
"It's just an ordinary orange hat." Sora replied.
"Then, my name now will be Just-an-ordinary-orange-hat-Agumon!"
"Nobody is ever going to call you that!" Piyomon said, looking then at the window's direction. "What happened to the snow?"
"It's gone, as if it had been never there." Sora muttered in a worried voice, showing the amulet to them. "The arrow vanished too."
"According to Monzaemon, that should only happen if the godly power disappeared." Agumon explained.
"Didn't Mimi say that Fate was in the snow? Does this mean that Fate has left the human world?" Piyomon wondered.
"She also said that Fate was possessing Monzaemon…" Sora said. "Then, Fate created a tool to allow others to find it and then just bailed out? It doesn't make any sense!"
"Maybe it's how deities prank mortals." Agumon theorized.
"Either way, it'd be nice if we didn't have to worry about that thing anymore, right, Sora?" Piyomon asked, cheerfully.
Sora nodded, but she still had a bad feeling.
The girl took the two digimon to have breakfast with her parents. Toshiko and Haruhiko were at the low table, looking into an old album of photos she had never seen before.
"Hey, I know those two!" Sora exclaimed from behind the couple, pointing at a photo that had a groom and a bride, next to two other people. "Those are Mr. and Mrs. Izumi, Koushiro-kun's parents! I didn't know you knew them."
"Then…" Haruhiko murmured to Toshiko, "… the warning Ame gave me in that dream…"
"Did something happen?" Sora asked, concerned.
Toshiko and Haruhiko exchanged anxious glances.
"We met them a few times… in a wedding… at a funeral…" The man whispered.
Sora noticed the placard next to the people in the photo, which read Yukimura – Fuyokawa wedding. She knew that Fuyokawa was her father's family name before he married her mother. The girl looked at the photo again, paying closer attention to the bride's bright red hair and luminous smile. Her bridal kimono was as white as snow.
"Is that aunt Ame?"
"I helped her to dress up that day." Toshiko reminisced. The woman invited Sora to sit; Piyomon and Agumon sat at the opposite side of the table.
"Ame was so happy…" Haruhiko murmured in a sorrowful voice. "This photo is from the day she married Yukimura Shunsui… unaware of the car crash that would…"
The man had to stop talking, but still let some tears escape his eyes.
"You don't have to talk if it's too difficult." Sora assured.
"It hurt so much to be reminded of her…" Haruhiko said. "I couldn't look at her photos without bawling… I couldn't stay… I couldn't take in… I ran away and let other people replace me in my duty to her…"
"Dad, it's okay! It's going to be okay now!" Sora tried to make him feel better.
"You don't understand…" Haruhiko contested. "Because of my broken heart, I did something unforgivable…"
"Sora, how is your friend Koushiro?" Toshiko asked.
"What?" The girl didn't understand what possible connection Koushiro had with what her father was going through, aside from his parents attending her aunt's wedding. Were Mr. and Mrs. Izumi her friends, perhaps?
"Is he a happy child? Do you get along well with him?" Toshiko asked in a soft voice.
"He had some issues, but I think he's better now." Sora replied. "He's a sweet kid that loves to learn new things and help people. Koushiro-kun helped me a lot in the Digital World… he's one of my closest friends."
"I'm glad." Haruhiko said, rubbing his eyes. "I'm really glad."
"He's very intelligent. You would like each other a lot, Dad. I could introduce him to you someday." Sora told her father, beaming.
At first, Haruhiko seemed fearful of the idea. But then a little smile made its way to his lips and he muttered:
"Someday… maybe…"
A few minutes later, loud knocks were heard at the door, as if the person at the other side was trying to bring it down. When Sora got there and opened it, Taichi was standing there, sweaty and trembling, wearing large brown pants and a beige sweatshirt that looked like what one would wear to sleep. His face was pale and had visible trails of tears. His cold hands held the girl by the arms as he pleaded in a weak voice:
"Sora… help me…"
Koushiro and Tentomon had accompanied Jyou and Gomamon to the park, where Mimi, Palmon and Picodevimon were already waiting for the reunion. Koushiro was wearing a gray shirt with long sleeves and black shorts; Jyou had dark brown shorts and a light blue shirt with short sleeves; Mimi had her pink hat and was wearing jeans shorts that almost reached her knees and a white shirt with straps that had flower drawings on it.
The park was empty, despite it being a warm summer morning. Mimi, Palmon and Picodevimon were sitting under the shade of a tree. The grass was still wet from the snow that had covered it the day before.
As soon as he saw her, Koushiro ran in her direction, stopping two steps in front of her. He bowed and profusely apologized for what had happened to the girl, her mother and Palmon, about which Jyou had informed him. Mimi was about to protest, but Koushiro hurried to tell her about the real nature of the Spirit of the World.
"When Wisemon said that a Koushiro from another universe had helped him to create Homeostasis… w-what he meant was not what we imagined. Wisemon murdered that other me… uploaded his consciousness to the machine… and that's what you know as Fate."
The boy explained everything, giving details about what had happened to him the night before. Mimi listened to everything in silence, increasingly paler and horrified. Palmon was so shocked that she could barely move. Picodevimon was so startled that he couldn't keep his mouth closed. Once Koushiro finished his narration, he expected the girl to say something. Mimi stood up, pulled the boy into a hug and cried quietly on his shoulder. Jyou hugged them both.
"The snow is gone. All of it…" Palmon commented. "Does this mean that he left this world?"
"Please, don't use a personal pronoun to that thing too." Gomamon sighed, crawling in her direction. Tentomon pointedly ignored him.
"Koushiro-han was looking through the open window when I woke up." The insect said. "He had this sad and lost look… he told me that… he felt as if a part of him had disappeared…"
"This is madness…" Picodevimon muttered, still taking the information in.
"There you are! I've finally found you!" A voice said from above. Wizarmon was hovering a couple of meters from them.
The children immediately broke the hug. Jyou assumed a fighting pose while Gomamon put himself in front of the boy.
"I won't let you get close to my partner!" Gomamon stated.
"I have no time to waste on you!" Wizarmon shouted. "I'm here for the boy with red hair!"
"What do you want from me?" Koushiro asked.
"You're the only one who can help me to find my friend." Wizarmon explained, landing in front of the children. "If you're still connected to the remains of the Spirit of the World, you can locate Hikari!"
"Hikari?!" The three children asked at the same time.
"Remains? W-What do you mean by that?" Tentomon asked, worried.
In that minute, Takeru, wearing a light green shirt with long sleeves and brown shorts and carrying Patamon, was heading towards the other children with Gabumon and Yamato, who was wearing a magenta shirt and jeans.
"Who is this digimon?" Takeru asked.
"Are you guys being threatened?" Yamato asked, clenching his fists.
Wizarmon swung his staff in a menacing way.
"I'm interested in Fate's proxy, don't force me to harm you!" He said.
"Did you seriously just call me a proxy?" Koushiro asked in an offended tone.
"Is that an insult?" Mimi wondered.
"I have no idea." Jyou replied.
"You talk with too much confidence." Palmon said. "Do you seriously think you can defeat all of us?"
Wizarmon observed her for a few seconds before answering:
"The strongest fairy, huh? I've heard stories about you." He said. "But you can't evolve to ultimate level yet. With my magic, I can take you down."
"I can't reach ultimate level either." Patamon told him. "Do you think you can handle me as well?"
Wizarmon took a glance at the little animal and froze. His eyes widened, his body shivered and some drops of sweat appeared on the mage's face.
"Bloody Lord…" He muttered, horrified.
"That's right." Patamon said. "So, do you want to talk or would you rather fight me?"
Taichi had woken up alone in his apartment. As he sat up, what had happened the night before came back to him. Taichi jumped to his feet and ran through the place, calling Hikari's name as loud as he could. But she wasn't there.
He put on his sneakers by the door, not bothering to change his clothes, and ran, not thinking in any place to go. All that occupied his mind was his sister.
"You're a terrible brother, Onii-chan."
He tried to be a good brother, especially after the incident. He tried to be better, to be always there for her… as if it could compensate for what he had done.
"It's all because of you!"
"Mistake!"
"If something happens… if she dies, it'll be your fault!"
Maybe, that was who he was. Who was he fooling to think he could be something else? To think that he could help anyone, that he could make anyone happy, that he could be needed? He was nothing but a sad little boy.
"I don't need you for anything."
He stopped in front of Sora's door, only then taking notice of the wetness on his face and the coldness of his body. He knocked, unable to say anything. When she opened, it took a while for Taichi to recover his voice, but he was able to ask for her help.
"Hikari said she was a chosen child! That she was going to save the Digital World!" Taichi said, his voice was getting louder after every word. "A cat came for her and became an angel and took her! I don't know where she is now! My sister… m-my sister…"
He began to cry, letting go of the girl. She gently pulled him to a hug, like she had done years before.
"We're going to see the others and figure something out together. It's going to be okay." Sora promised.
"What's going on, Sora?" A pink bird asked behind the girl, next to a yellow dinosaur.
"You have two new partners now…?" Taichi asked, almost inaudibly.
"This is Piyomon, Pyokomon's evolution." Sora explained.
"And I am Just-an-ordinary-" The dinosaur began to say, offering a hand to the boy.
"His name is Agumon!" Piyomon interrupted. "He's just staying here, but doesn't have any partner."
"Nice to meet you… I'm Taichi…" The boy said, reluctantly shaking the other's strange hand.
"I'm going to tell my parents and grab something for us to eat; then, we can go." Sora told him.
"Parents? The two of them?!" Taichi asked, shocked. He had never seen his friend's father before.
"Yeah… it's a long story." Sora said. "I'll tell you about it after we find Hikari-chan."
"Sure…" Taichi whispered, glancing down.
While the four of them headed to the park, a few people commented on how incredible the costumes of two of those kids were. Piyomon didn't pay too much attention to it, but Agumon thanked the people with "excellent taste." Involuntarily, Taichi smiled over that. He's a fun guy, he thought.
The boy explained better what had happened to his sister, to which Sora paid full attention. She had a concerned expression, but still tried to smile and soothe him. The girl had to force him to eat some of the onigiris she had brought along, saying that he couldn't help his sister if he didn't take care of himself first. Sora's kindness and thoughtfulness was comparable to Hikari's.
When they arrived at their destination, they found the other children and digimon sitting under a tree, bearing astonished expressions as Wizarmon talked to them, in the middle of the circle. Taichi's blood boiled when he saw the guy.
"WHERE IS MY SISTER?!" He questioned, ready to jump on the mage and punch him, but being stopped by Sora, Piyomon and Agumon, who held him back. Koushiro, next to a trembling and tearful Tentomon, stood up and went to him and Sora.
"About Hikari-san… about Fate…" Koushiro said as tears brimmed in his eyes. "I have a lot to explain to you."
While Koushiro was telling Sora, Taichi, Piyomon and Agumon what had happened, the others were interrogating Wizarmon a few meters away.
"Because of you Homura-san and the others died!" Jyou said, trembling in anger.
"You almost got my brother killed!" Yamato accused.
"Because of you, hundreds of digimon I knew were killed in that base!" Picodevimon affirmed. "Some of them were nice!"
"They wanted to murder us, though." Takeru pointed out.
"You have to remember that, for most digimon, human children are evil." Picodevimon contested.
"Everything I did was for the sake of my friend." Wizarmon defended himself. "I had no reason to be loyal to the humans who ruined my world and banished my Queen."
"Ofanimon is very dear to you, isn't she?" Patamon asked.
"I tried to be loyal to both her and Tailmon, I wanted them both to be safe and happy. Now, because of my foolishness, Tailmon will be the tool that will bring my Queen's death." Wizarmon lamented.
"Hikari-chan didn't seem like a bad person to me." Mimi said.
"That's right! This could all be a misunderstanding!" Jyou agreed. "We can talk her out of-"
"But if Ofanimon really wants to destroy the Digital World and this Hikari can stop her, shouldn't we let her do it? If she's a chosen child, she's our ally!" Takeru interrupted. After seeing the heartbroken expression on his partner's face, the boy added: "I'm not saying that she should kill Ofanimon, just stop her. If Hikari has Fate's power and really is a good person-"
"She killed Koushiro-han." Tentomon stated, capturing everybody's attention.
"Fate was a corrupted computer program, Tentomon." Gomamon affirmed.
"That creature did terrible things… it convinced me to…" Patamon muttered. "I'd rather not think of it as Koushiro."
"But Koushiro-han reached out to him!" Tentomon said. "He could've been saved!"
"After your partner's heart-to-heart conversation with that thing, Fate took advantage of my emotional vulnerability to manipulate me!" Palmon reminded the other. "There was nothing good in that thing, stop trying to see something else!"
"That just makes things easier for you all!" Tentomon accused. "I bet you're so damn relieved, thinking that you got rid of the problem without dirtying your hands! But the problem was my partner! He was brutalized, broken, driven to desperation! And just when I thought there was hope for him, he's murdered! Again! And you guys are happy about it!"
"We're not happy! Not at all!" Mimi denied. "What happened to the other Koushiro-kun was tragic, but it doesn't erase the bad things he did."
"Koushiro-kun wanted to make him stop suffering. He offered help, but it wasn't accepted by the other." Jyou said.
"From what I understood, this Fate guy has been messing with Taichi's sister's head since she was little, which is wrong on several levels!" Yamato gave his opinion. "What happened to him was the result of his actions."
"He brought about his own end…" Tentomon murmured, looking down.
"I don't really understand the implications of everything you guys are discussing. But I don't see much of a point to arguing about someone who is no longer here." Gabumon said.
"So I'm supposed to just get over it?! Is that what you're trying to say?!" Tentomon nearly snapped.
"Why are you so upset about Fate, anyway?!" Gomamon shouted. "It's not like you ever had a relationship with him!"
"Didn't he try to kill your partner at least three times?" Palmon asked.
"And that all happened yesterday…" Yamato muttered.
"None of you can understand!" Tentomon yelled. "If Fate had been any of your partners-"
"Jyou would never-" Gomamon began to say, but was interrupted.
"It could've happened to any of us!" Takeru stated. "If we were in that situation, if we were broken to that extent… who can tell what we would have done?"
They exchanged somber looks.
"Taichi-san, are you okay?" Koushiro asked in a concerned tone after finishing his narration.
"It's a lot for him to take in, Koushiro-kun." Sora said, looking from Taichi to him with sadness. "Everything that happened… you can't be alright."
"I guess the other me got peace in the end, although not in the way I wished…" Koushiro muttered, looking away. "He got rid of the glitches and stopped being… what he did to Hikari-san…"
"In his twisted way, he wanted to help his friends." Sora told him. "I don't know if it's any consolation, but it was your heart that stopped him from doing worse things."
"Like that Sora clone that froze me and attacked Koushiro in the orb." Piyomon commented. "She also thought she was helping…"
"I wish we could be similar in less depressing ways." Koushiro said, smiling sadly.
Taichi observed them quietly. They talked freely, as if they had forgotten he was there, and even referenced things Taichi hadn't been told about. He couldn't think of anything to tell Koushiro after hearing his story, but Sora just had to say a few things to make the younger boy relax.
"So… Hikari had been talking to another Koushiro since she was little and never told me about it." Taichi said, earning their attention. "The guy that killed you in other universes and tried to do it again here was my sister's closest friend… and then she killed him, took his powers and now wants to be a heroine…?"
"I'm sure Hikari-chan thinks she's doing the right thing." Sora told him.
"I can't really blame her for what she did to Fate…" Koushiro murmured.
"No wonder she called me a terrible brother and told me she didn't need me for anything." Taichi said, smirking, trying to fight the tears from coming to his eyes. "I didn't notice anything. It was happening under my nose, my sister was in trouble, and I didn't notice it!"
"Taichi, we haven't noticed anything either." Sora told him. "Hikari-chan is very closed off."
"I doubt anyone could guess what was going on with her." Koushiro commented.
"But I had to have noticed! I had to have figured it out! I'm her big brother!" Taichi shouted, giving in to the tears. "I was always with her, taking care of her! I played with her, I gave her advice! I did everything I could think of to make her happy! To make her know that she could always count on me! But she didn't! Everything I did was for nothing!"
"It's not your fault, Taichi!" Sora stated. "You were always kind and sweet to her! Overprotective even! Hikari-chan must know that!"
"Take in consideration what she had just gone through. Hikari-san wasn't in her best emotional state; she must've told you those things without meaning to!" Koushiro said.
"She was angry at me! I must've given her a reason to be angry! I did give her… I did something awful…" Taichi contested.
"Taichi, you can't put yourself down like that!" Sora told him. "When you took her out to play when she was sick… you were just a kid! You didn't know what was going to happen!"
"You're one of the kindest people I've ever met in my life, Taichi-san!"Koushiro let him know. "There's no doubt that you're a loving brother!"
"What did you say to her before her outburst, anyway?" Agumon inquired, taking Taichi and the others by surprise.
"How is this relevant? She was clearly upset because of what the other me-" Koushiro began to say.
"Something specific and recent angered her in that moment. If we figure out what it was, it's simpler to solve the problem." Agumon interrupted. "Other than that, the more details we have about the situation, the better we can understand it. Besides, it's more productive to do that than to keep this 'it's not your fault, don't feel bad' routine."
"That's… actually a good idea." Piyomon said, not fully believing that Agumon was able to say something that intelligent.
"What I said to her… let's see… I…" Taichi tried to remember. "I told her she couldn't go to the Digital World without me, because she'd be in danger and I had to protect her and… I… I said she couldn't do that to me…"
The former night, saying that felt completely ordinary for him. However, Taichi could now feel the harshness in his own words and understand his sister's response to them.
"This is happening to you?!"
Why did he have to phrase it like that? He was worried about Hikari's well-being, wasn't he? Just like he had been worried about Sora and Koushiro alone in the Digital World! He cared for them and was only thinking of them! Taichi simply wanted to be a good brother and friend! But if that was the case, why was he framing the situation that way?
"I was like a bridge to them and now it's like they're leaving me behind… as if they didn't need me anymore…"
"You can't just all abandon me like this, as if I didn't matter, you can't… what am I going to do without you…?"
More of his words resurfaced in his mind. They sounded so horrid. What part of that was something an actual good friend and brother would say? Sora and Koushiro had suffered several hardships; his sister was heading towards a dangerous world. Why was Taichi putting himself as the victim in all that? Why did it seem like the biggest issue wasn't what his loved ones were going through, but instead how what they were going through affected him?
"That sounded kind of self-centered." Agumon said.
Self-centered… Taichi remembered that had been what Mimi had called him the day before, when he was trying to make Sora and Koushiro tell more details about what had happened to them. He was being forceful, inconsiderate, but it was because he was worried! Sora understood that! She knew he only had good intentions!
"Don't call him that!" Sora reprehended Agumon. "Taichi is always trying to help people! He stands up for them and cheers them up! He doesn't have one selfish bone in his body!"
"That's right!" Koushiro agreed. "In the soccer club, he treated everybody equally! He went out of his way to make me feel comfortable and integrated to the team, he even trained with me sometimes! And it wasn't just in the club! He sought me and was always so kind to me! He invited me to the summer camp, and he didn't have to do that because he already had so many friends to keep him company!"
I did those things! That means I'm a good person, right?! Taichi thought, feeling his heart racing. A good person… he wanted to be that so badly. If he wasn't that, what was he? His parents' mistake? The neglectful brother that almost killed the person he loved most in the world? Taichi wanted to be good, to make others happy, that made him feel better about himself.
His heart skipped a beat when the conclusion came to his mind.
"I… wanted validation…" Taichi murmured.
"What?" Koushiro asked. Both he and Sora looked at the other boy with concern.
"I wanted to be good for people, to feel that I could do something right… to feel that I mattered to someone…" Taichi said, letting a few tears roll down. "When you guys came back, I could tell how much closer you had grown… I thought I was just worried about you guys, but I think I was actually feeling threatened because you didn't need me anymore. And then, Hikari turned out to be a chosen child too and I thought I was going to lose her as well… I was afraid…"
"Taichi, you didn't lose us." Sora told him, reaching out to grab his hands. "You'll never stop being our friend!"
"In the Digital World, we wished you could be there with us. We were lost without you." Koushiro said, approaching the boy as well.
"I had to be their leader and that made me so anxious. I kept thinking that things would've been so much easier if you were there... it was scary…" Sora confessed. "I made so many mistakes… I endangered Koushiro-kun and got trapped in a prison that fed on my guilt…"
"Sora…" Taichi muttered, feeling terrible at seeing her sad face. "I-I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to… I shouldn't be talking about myself when you had it so much worse."
"It's important to be honest about your feelings, Taichi-san. Especially the negative ones. Otherwise, they eat you from the inside and make you perceive reality in a distorted way." Koushiro said, placing his hands on Taichi's and Sora's. "Sora-san and I have gone through that. We never suspected that you could be like that too. You seemed like such a happy person, always smiling…"
"And despite you being an extrovert, it was hard to make you talk about what bothered you." Sora continued. "You didn't want us to worry about you."
"I think the three of us have that trait in common. It can be very destructive." Koushiro commented.
"Hikari used to smile all the time and never complain…" Taichi muttered. He thought those were qualities and admired his sister for having them. But maybe she was forcing herself to be like that because he acted the same way. Maybe, she also had self-doubt and a poor vision of herself, and wanted to feel validation.
"You two are very alike." Sora said, smiling. "If you two talked honestly, you would understand each other very well."
"Yeah…" Taichi agreed, showing his friends a little smile. They kept holding hands for a moment, until Koushiro remembered:
"Wizarmon mentioned that I could help him to locate Hikari-san. I should go and ask him about it."
"I'll go with you." Sora said, before accompanying him along with Piyomon.
Alone with the lizard monster, Taichi told him:
"You helped me a lot. Thank you, Agumon."
"It's okay, Taichi." The digimon said. "But I need to tell you something really important."
"What is it?"
"You should call me Just-an-ordinary-orange-hat-Agumon."
One minute of silence went by before Taichi replied:
"No."
Reunited with everybody, Wizarmon told them that his idea was to use his psychic powers to connect Koushiro's mind to whatever had remained of Fate. But the plan wasn't well-accepted.
"He died. There's no guarantee that I'd get linked to anything." Koushiro pointed out. "And even if I were, I could be trapped there or worse."
"It's definitely not worth the risk!" Tentomon stated.
"That guy can't be trusted lurking in anyone's mind!" Jyou said, looking disapprovingly at Wizarmon.
"That's right!" Gomamon agreed.
"Not to mention that he hasn't done much to earn our trust in any way." Takeru pointed out.
"It's the only plan I have." Wizarmon said, annoyed.
"Hikari-san wants to go to the Digital World. Is there any way to predict where she can open a gate?" Koushiro asked.
"Gates are usually opened in weak points of the space-time continuum." Wizarmon answered. "It demands a lot of time and energy to open one."
"Unless she uses a gate that had been previously opened but not completely sealed." Picodevimon said.
"Like the one in the camp, maybe?" Sora asked. "But it's going to take hours for us to get there…"
"There's a closer one on the little island where Vamdemon brought his tower." Picodevimon informed.
"Let's go there, then!" Taichi decided.
"But what are we going to do once we get there?" Mimi wanted to know.
"Can we even fight someone that has the powers of the Spirit of the World now?" Takeru was worried.
"Nobody is going to fight her!" Taichi forbade. "I want to talk to her and sort things out."
"What's our objective after she's talked to?" Patamon inquired.
"She's one of us and very powerful. She can open the gate and let us all go to the Digital World together." Takeru said.
"We have to go back already…" Mimi muttered.
"We left things unresolved there." Palmon told her partner. "Without the Academy around, who knows what the Sanctuary is up to?"
"I came here to ask for your help in taking back the Village of the Beginnings." Gabumon said. "We need to return to File Island!"
"The Queen has some ominous plan called 'Salvation.' I don't know what it is, but Vamdemon was afraid of that." Picodevimon let them know.
"She might really want to destroy the world, then." Piyomon murmured.
"Ofanimon made many sacrifices for the sake of the Digital World. I don't believe for one second that she would want to destroy it." Wizarmon contested.
"But we still have to return to the Digital World to find out." Sora said.
Somber but resigned looks were visible on the faces of the chosen children.
"Do you really have to go, Takeru?" Yamato asked, fearful.
"Sora-san and the others will be there with me, don't worry." Takeru tried to reassure his brother. Yamato glanced at Sora and saw her smiling encouragingly at him.
"I promise I'll look out for him, Yamato-kun." She told him.
"I know you will." He replied. "Thank you, Sora."
"You and Sora better take care of each other too, okay?" Taichi told Koushiro, approaching the boy. "And you both take care of Hikari."
"We won't let you down, Taichi-san." Koushiro vowed, smiling at him.
"Before we go, we should pick stuff we'll need, like food and empty plastic containers." Jyou said.
"What are the containers for?" Mimi asked.
"So we can carry the healing water if we find that magical lake again, of course!" Jyou replied. "It's been months and I'm still mad that Sora-kun and Koushiro-kun didn't bring any of that water along!"
"Actually, it's been only a few days." Gomamon pointed out.
"It feels like a life-time, though." Mimi sighed.
"But it's going to be over soon." Sora said, looking at the clear sky. The east wind messed her hair and brought tears to her eyes, but she didn't close them. She could feel it in her soul that something huge was about to happen.
It had started. The beginning of the end.
It's probably not very relevant, but Koushiro thought that Wizarmon had called him a proxy server, which is a computer network service that allows clients to make indirect network connections to other network services.