Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine.

Note: I seriously love you all. But I'm sorry to say that since schools coming back to haunt me in like…1 day, my posting might be a little slower. I'll try to keep it at a new chapter every 3 days at most, but exams are coming soon too.

I'm planning to write more before the exams so I'll still be able to post them but…that's just a plan right now.

We'll see how it plays out.

Review review review again!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Do we have to do this James, or should I say Prongs?" asked Lily, pouting to the boy next to her.

He rolled his eyes. "How many time do I have to tell you, stick with James! You calling me Prongs is just…weird."

"Fine. I just can't believe it…do we really have to do this?"

He sighed, imagining the four grand tables in the great hall lined with people for dinner. Everyone had returned since class began the next day.

"Not if you don't want to," he answered, "but, we'll have to eventually Lily."

She pinched the bridge of her nose lightly in an attempt to calm her pounding head. "Alright," she resigned. "It's not like they don't already know."

"True. Do you think we can stun even Dumbledore?" asked James, looking hopefully at Lily to see if she would laugh.

She did. "Honestly James, he knows everything. We could hardly surprise him. I'll bet he planned it all out. Why else would you have become head boy?" she joked.

"Thanks for the boost of confidence Lils."

She smiled and grabbed the hand hanging loosely at his side. "Ready?"

He gave her hand a tight squeeze. "Here we go." James stepped forward, pulling Lily along gently, towards the doors of the great hall.

"Remind me again why your friends didn't wait for us," she hissed as she stumbled forward to catch up with James' long strides.

Together, they stepped through the doors and stopped, unsure of what to anticipate.

Nothing happened. Everyone in the room continued their chatter with their reunited friends whilst eating. Lily breathed a sigh of relief and headed towards their spots at the table, her hand still in James'. Sirius and Jodie had saved two spots between them.

And then, she heard the clatter of dropped silverware. She stopped moving, causing James to nearly run into her.

"What the—Lily?" asked James, suddenly also aware of the quietness in the room.

He looked around to see that everybody, even the Slytherins at the far table, were looking at them—staring at them. Their glances went from their intertwined hands to their faces, back and forth disbelievingly.

Lily looked up at the teachers' tables only to encounter a similar reaction.

She suddenly felt very self-conscious, hating now that she hadn't chosen a more flattering outfit to wear. She lifted her free hand to smooth over her hair instinctively, but snapped it back to her side when she felt wet patches under her arms.

"Somebody up there hates me," she cursed under her breath. She felt James squeeze her hand again and she felt comforted by the fact that he was there beside her. She looked over at him and smiled.

Encouraged by her smile, James let go of her hand and put his arm around her waist, pulling her closer to him. He kissed her forehead sweetly, amused by the soft gasps echoing around the room. Then he smiled politely at the people around him, occasionally winking, before walking purposefully to their spot near their friends.

As if triggered by his act to move, the chatter started up again. The excitement in the voices was evident. James and Lily could feel many eyes boring into their backs. Actually, it felt like eyes were boring into them from all directions—the back, the sides and the front.

"That," commented Sirius the moment they sat down, "should get the award for being the most shocking moment of the year."

Lily chuckled and got up to spoon some mashed potato on her plate. She leaned over and put her hand on the large spoon. She froze when she noticed that her movement had caused almost the whole Gryffindor table to turn and stare at her. She let go of the spoon, and slowly leaned back into her seat.

"Jodie," she said, smiling sheepishly, "could you pass me some potatoes?"

Her friend laughed and helped her out.

"I just don't get it. What's so shocking about—" began Lily while she spooned some potato into her mouth.

"Lily, you've been rejecting the boy for years and suddenly, you're walking in here with your hand in his. Hell, while smiling even. No, nothing shocking there right?" said Jodie, handing back James' plate after spooning some mashed potato into his plate as well.

"Yes, but half the people had to have seen us around last week," Lily whined, conjuring up a glass of pumpkin juice.

"Nobody really stays around here over winter break," said Beth quietly, finally speaking up for the first time in a while.

Sirius, who had been about to say something, clamped his mouth shut and looked at his food.

"Besides, we stayed in the rooms a lot."

"Yeah, well they must've told their friends today!" said James.

"Who would've believed it? I don't even think you guys would've if we told you that you'd be together a month ago," Remus, sitting across from Jodie, pointed out to Lily and James.

"Fine, point taken. It's just weird," said Lily. She looked around discreetly. "Everyone's staring at us."

"No," said Peter, joining in on the conversation, "everyone's staring at you two."

"Great," commented James sarcastically. "Just keep your mouth shut buddy, you're not helping." In response, Peter quickly stuffed some food into his mouth.

"So Remus," started Jodie, "why were you in the hospital wing today? Are you alright?"

She was concerned, but she was also wondering why Remus had talked to Lily. She watched his face for any signs of deception.

"Tripped this morning," he said nonchalantly. "I blame it on Sirius' messy habits."

Surprising everybody, Beth spoke. "Sirius doesn't have…" she paused, aware that she shouldn't have spoken but continued anyways in a barely audible voice, "…messy habits."

Sirius blushed in his seat, secretly elated that Beth cared. It wasn't big, but it was something.

Remus shrugged it off. "You haven't seen our room."

Not able to help himself, he sent a knowing glance at Lily, which unfortunately, Jodie caught as well.

She looked from Remus to Lily, who were both smiling in a secretive way. A surge of jealousy shot through her. He had never smiled like that to her. It was the type of smile that contained hidden meanings, and secrets only the two people would know.

"Jodie?" said Lily, breaking Jodie out of her trance.

"Mm," she answered, looking at her friend smiling innocently at her. She sighed. Jodie knew she shouldn't be feeling jealous. Lily had told her enough times how much she liked James. In fact, it was endless. Lily would never go behind James and be with Remus.

It was just hard not to get worked up. Remus wasn't a very talkative guy, especially about his feelings. Jodie didn't know how to feel about him. He had said he liked her too, but how could she put away what she knew about Remus liking Lily before?

She wondered for the first time if he ever really got over her.

"Lily?" she whispered, "can I talk to you outside for a moment?"

Worried, Lily nodded silently and followed her friend out, ignoring the curious glances of the people around them.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"What's up?" asked Lily, seating herself beside Jodie on the floor with her back against the wall.

"So, on New Years, I kissed Remus," said Jodie.

"And I quote: 'I swear he's like a cow. He can't take a hint. I think the only way for him to figure it out is if I walk right up to him and kiss him.' I didn't think you'd actually do it," laughed Lily.

Jodie chuckled. "I had no choice," she defended. Then she sobered up.

"Lily?"

Lily sensed that her friend had something to say so she kept quiet.

"I've changed Lily."

Lily looked at Jodie uncertainly. "Changed?"

"I guess we've all changed. I used to be like Sirius was you know? It was always boys, boys and boys. One after the other. He's not like that anymore….and….neither am I."

Jodie watched her friend nod.

"It's not a bad thing Jodie."

"I never used to get jealous. There never was a need. I never really cared I think."

"What are you saying?" Lily asked softly.

Jodie snapped back, "Just let me finish."

"Sorry," she apologized immediately afterward, "It's just…I used to want to be like Beth. You know, how she liked Sirius so much?"

Lily nodded. "I used to want to be like her too. To be able to really love someone, not caring about anything else."

"Yeah," agreed Jodie, "but now that I do like someone like that, I find that it's not really that great. It hurts. I've never doubted myself when it came to boys, but it seems that all I do now. I'm so confused Lils, I don't know what to do."

"Oh Jodie," sighed Lily, "That's how liking someone feels like."

Jodie stared at her friend, wide eyed.

"Yeah," conceded Lily. "Crazy. That's how I felt at first with James this year you know."

"Lily, you don't get it. I'm..I'm jealous."

Lily looked up thoughtfully. "Well, when you like someone, you do get jealous a lot," she said, more to herself as she reflected on herself with James.

"No, no! I'm jealous...of you."

At that, she snapped her head back down. "Of me?"

"I'm not jealous because you and James are happy. I'm jealous because…you and Remus share something special."

"We don't—"

"I know he liked you Lily. And knowing you, you probably just pretended to be ignorant."

Lily bit her lip nervously.

"I'm right aren't I?" laughed Jodie sadly. "I was hoping you would tell me I was hallucinating."

"Jodie, it was a long time ago."

"Why didn't you just tell us Lily? You know you can trust me and Beth."

"I know, but…how could I tell you that the person you may like, liked me?"

"He looks at you differently you know, like today."

"Today?" asked Lily. "Oh! That wasn't anything." Lily didn't know how to explain. How could she tell her friend that the smile was because she knew Remus' deepest secret, without telling her what it was.

"You have to believe me Jodie, I wouldn't…you know. I mean, I have James!"

"I know Lily, I know you don't like him. But what if he likes you. You can't just pretend forever."

"He doesn't," said Lily firmly, refusing to let Jodie's suggestions bother her.

"But what if?" cried Jodie. "Don't you see? Whether you want it or not, Remus will always care for you in a way that he won't for me."

"Jodie. Remus is just shy—"

"Don't feed me that Lils, he's not just shy. There's something else."

Yes, because he's scared that if he's with you, he'll end up hurting you. Because he knows he can't do long relationship. Because he needs to really trust you.

"Remus likes you Jodie. He may not act like it sometimes, but I know it's true. You have to trust him."

"I just don't know sometimes. I don't know how I fell for him."

"He does have a certain charm doesn't he," smiled Lily.

"Sort of an easygoing, boyish charm I'd say. Irresistable," laughed Jodie. "Oh, and he's got that whole mysterious thing going."

"Yes, I dare say he does," said Lily, pretending to consider him.

"Hey! Go back to dreaming about James!" laughed Jodie, lightening the mood.

"Wouldn't dream about leaving him in the first place," smiled Lily, pulling her friend in for a hug. Then she whispered, "I didn't know Jodie. I'm sorry. I should have told you."

Jodie pulled away. "I know you didn't mean to. And I know I really have no reason to be jealous. I just wanted to tell you."

Lily smiled. "I'm glad you did."

"I think we left Beth alone to face her worst fear long enough. How about we head back?" asked Jodie, who had already stood up by now and extended her arm to help Lily up.

Lily took the offered hand.

"You know Jodie. I like the new you."

"Me too."

"And I think you're right."

"About?" asked Jodie as they walked back.

"We all really have changed. Look at Sirius, and James. Me, and you. Even Beth."

"What about Remus then?"

Lily winked. "Not yet. But I know a certain blue eyed girl named Jodie Williams who might be able to do something about that."

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Beth, I'm sorry. How are you?

Stupid.

Beth, I'm an idiot. I shouldn't have broken up with you. Do you think that maybe, we could give it another shot?

Lame.

Beth, James had thought it would be funny to feed me a potion that would say the opposite of what I really mean. That's what really happened that day. So what I really meant was I want to spend the rest of my life—

Okay, that's just stupid AND creepy.

"Beth," said Sirius, deciding to just go for it.

He watched as she looked up at him uncertainly from across the table.

"What?" she snapped.

"Beth," he repeated.

She narrowed her eyes, as if to protect herself from him—to create a barrier, a wall.

"Yes?" she prodded.

"Beth," he said again. He was stalling time. I sound like an idiot who only knows how to say her name, he thought.

"What?" She gave him a look that clearly said she was waiting.

At the moment, Lily and Jodie came back laughing.

"I miss you," he said quietly and quickly. And even though Sirius was certain no one had heard him, Beth did. Beth heard him.

She smiled inwardly, for the first time in nearly a week. He missed her. Then she made herself erase that smile.

It shouldn't matter, she yelled inside. But she knew…it did. He missed me!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

That night, Sirius found himself in the dungeons, similar to where Lily had been just two nights ago. Except in his case, Sirius had a clear purpose for coming down.

He leaned against the wall and crossed his arms.

When a Slytherin walked by him, he grabbed the person by the arm. It happened to be a second year boy.

"Kid, go in there and tell Regulus Black to come out here."

"H-he won't li-listen to a second year like me," the kid pointed out fairly.

"Listen," he said, roughly grabbing the person by the collar, "do you know who I am?"

The second year boy nodded immediately. "Sirius Black."

"Yes," he growled. "Tell Regulus his brother is outside waiting for him."

Then he let the boy scurry into the dorm.

"What do you want?" Regulus wore an expression on his face that clearly showed he was bored already.

"You were right."

"This is the day," said Regulus incredulously. "Sirius Black admitting that I, Regulus Black, was right. And pray, what was I right about?"

"I'm simply not a Black. Thank god for that. Remember when you told me that I shouldn't love and that love was a weakness?"

"Yes," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"You were wrong Regulus. You were so, so wrong. I should love, and you know what?"

"Oh don't tell me," said Regulus in a condescending voice.

"I do. And that's what makes me not a Black. It makes me better and stronger than people like you. I do love. Love isn't a weakness, brother, and it'd do you well to remember that."

He paused to look at his brother.

"Don't even bother saying anything, because I don't care. I don't even know why I let you guys get to me last time. But I feel sorry for you Regulus. I feel sorry for you because you'll never know this feeling."

Sirius began walking away.

"I just wanted you to know. I love her and I don't give a shit about what you think."

Regulus would have never admitted it, but to the day he died, he had never once forgotten his brothers words. Love isn't a weakness. It isn't something to be ashamed of.