It's a Loud, Loud, Loud, Loud House
Lincoln is looking around and sneaking about in the living room and leaps onto the sofa.
Lincoln: Money. In the Loud House, there just isn't a lot of it to go around. [searches between the cushions and gets wads of chewed gum on his fingers] Ew! [shakes it off and pulls out a pair of dirty underwear and tosses it] Grody! Which is why, if you happen to find some, even the smallest amount...you gotta keep it to yourself. [finds a quarter] Jackpot! [kisses it]
Just then, Anastasia and her aunties happen to come across him and his coin.
Lola: We heard money! A dime! No, a quarter!
Lincoln: That's impossible. Money doesn't make a sound.
Luan: Haven't you ever heard the expression "Money talks"? [laughs at rimshot]
Luna: And that quarter is saying, hand me over, bro!
Lana: It's mine!
Anastasia: In your dreams! That quarter is mine! I hidden it from the rest of you mindless apes!
Leni: Guys, let's just split it 40/40!
Lincoln: No! None of you are getting it! I found it in the couch fair and square!
Lynn: Wait a second! If there was one quarter down there, then maybe there's more!
The girls all then pounce on Lincoln and fight over the quarter and the possibility of more under the sofa while Cliff runs off from the fight. Logan and his parents enters the living room.
Rita: What are they fighting for this time? A nickel under the ottoman?
Logan: Nope. A quarter under the sofa.
Rita: We better stop them before they start biting.
Lola bites Lincoln.
Lincoln: Ow! Lola!
Anastasia bites Lola.
Lola: Ow! Anastasia!
Anastasia: Take that, you pig brat!
Logan: Too late.
Lynn Sr: [whistles and gets them to stop] ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE GET UPSTAIRS AND CLEAN THE ATTIC! That's punishment for fighting over money!
The kids all groan and acquiesce.
Luan: That punishment makes no cents. [laughs to rimshot]
Anastasia hits Luan in the back of her head.
Luan: Ow!
Anastasia: One more joke and i will make it even worse.
Lynn Sr: Upstairs! [to Rita] But that was a good one.
Logan: Kinda.
The attic.
Lynn Sr: AND I WANT THAT WHOLE ATTIC SPARKING! EVEN THE BACK CORNER!
The kids look on to see the horror that is the back corner.
Lucy: But the back corner was my secret dark place.
Anastasia: Not really a secret if me and my Dad sleep up here and i go there myself.
Lola: It's Lincoln fault we're up here, so he can do it!
Anastasia: Well actually, all of us started fighting over a quarter but oh well. And watch out for that loose floorboard.
Lincoln: What loose floorboard? [steps on it and gets hit in the face by it] Stupid loose floorboard... [puts it back and notices an envelope] Hey, what's this? [opens it up and finds a letter]
Dear Future Residents of 1216 Franklin Avenue, my family always fought over money, so i decided to leave my fortune for you in the hope that you will share it. For a clue on where the money is hidden, reflect upon what i said here. Sighed, Mrs. Sharon DeMonet, the original owner.
Lincoln: [gasps] Hey, guys! Check it out I found this letter from the original owner! She says she's hidden money in the house!
Lori: [disbelieving] Yeah, right, Lincoln. Quit stalling. You're not getting out of cleaning the attic.
Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa, and Anastasia: YEAH!!!
Lincoln: Fine! I'll just do it by myself, and when i do, it'll be all mine. [steps on the loose floorboard and gets hit by it again]
When Lincoln comes to, he sees that the girls are gone.
Lincoln: Where'd everybody go?
Outside on the front yard.
Anastasia is seen digging in the yard.
Anastasia: Where is it? Where is it?! Grrrr, this is getting really annoying!
Lincoln: Anastasia! What are you doing?
Anastasia: Why does it matters to you? I'm just making a hole so i can have as get away from you guys.
Lincoln: [suspicious] Oh really? Then what's those for? [points to the other other holes Anastasia made]
Anastasia: I was planning on using them as extra exits but i can use them to hide bodies of nosy uncles.
Lincoln: [backing away scared] Okay...i just leave you to making your hideout or whatever.
Anastasia: Good. [goes back digging] Now where is it?
Meanwhile, in the crawlspace.
Lori: Gross! What is this?
Leni: Get off my pumps!
Lori: I'm gonna pump your face if you don't move faster!
Leni: Let's just get this over with.
Lori: Ugh! Why didn't Mrs. DeMonet just tell us where the money is?
Leni: I don't know. Let's ask her. [shines the flashlight on a skeleton]
They scream in horror.
Lori: [calmly] Wait. That's just a leftover Halloween decoration.
Enter Lincoln.
Lincoln: Hey! What are you two doing?
Lori: Uh...we're just dusting! [dusts with Leni's arm]
Leni: Wait. I thought we were looking for the money.
Lincoln: I KNEW IT!
Everyone has grouped together in the living room.
Lincoln: Okay, you're all looking for the money, aren't you?
Anastasia: Nah! You think?
Leni: Obviously!
Lynn: Uh, duh!
Luna: Heck, yes, we are!
Luan: Where'd you find your first clue, Sherlock?
Lincoln: You guys didn't even believe the money existed! I'm the one who should get it!
Lori: Forget that! I'm finding it for myself!
Leni: Not if i find it first!
Luna: Yeah, dream on!
Lana: It's mine!
They all start fighting again and pull Lincoln into the fray. Logan and his father enters the living room.
Logan: There they go again.
Lynn Sr whistles to get them to stop once again.
Lynn Sr: Obviously, you haven't learned your lesson. Back to the attic!
The kids resume cleaning the attic and Lincoln secretly takes another look at the letter.
Lincoln: The answer must be in here somewhere. I know it. Reflect upon what i said here. What could that mean? [looks in the mirror to find another piece of paper in the rafter and facepalms for not realizing sooner] Reflect! Duh! [casually walks over] I'm just gonna be over here...cleaning the, uh...the dirty thing... [gets on a stack of boxes and grabs the paper]
Lucy: What's that?!
Lincoln: [startled] Ah! Nothing!
Lynn: [finds out] Lincoln found another letter!
Lincoln takes to the rafters and the girls are ready to clobber him if he doesn't read it.
Girls: READ IT!
Lincoln: Okay, okay! Calm down! [opens it and reads]
Well done. You've found the next clue. But beware. If you fight my family did, you'll never get to the bottom of the matter.
Lincoln: You guys, maybe we should listen to her and stop fighting.
Lori: [suspiciously backing away] Yeah...Lincoln's right...as soon as we're done cleaning here, we should totally work together to find the money. [leaves]
Lola: Hey! Lori's going after the money
Anastasia: Get her!
The girls all follow suit.
Lincoln: Wait! [goes after them but steps on and gets whack by the loose floorboard yet again]
When Lincoln comes to, he sees Anastasia looking down at him.
Anastasia: Man, you really need to watch out for that loose floorboard.
Lincoln: Ow! Where's everyone else?
Anastasia pointed down the attic and Lincoln sees the mayhem that his sisters are causing to one another in the search of the fortune.
Lincoln: Guys, the letter! Remember what Sharon DeMonet said!
Lola: Forget Sharon DeMonet! It's every man for himself!
Lincoln gives up and decides to join the battle with Anastasia. Meanwhile outside in the front yard, Logan is relaxing on a relaxing chair.
Logan: [drinking soda] Ahh, this is nice. I really needed this. [continue drinking soda] I wonder how everyone else doing. [hears his siblings and Anastasia running toward the house looking for the money] Well there's go my answer. [put the soda can down and took a quick nap]
Meanwhile upstairs, the kids came out of Lisa and Lily's room upset they didn't find the money.
Lori: We've literally searched the whole house, and nothing!
Leni: Hello! My floral pump is not nothing.
Luna: Maybe we missed something in the letter!
The girls all glare at Lincoln who knows where this is going. They all start fighting over the letter and tear it apart.
Lola: Look what you did!
Lana: You're the one who ripped it!
Luna: Dude, how are we gonna find the money now?
Lincoln: We're not.
Lana: Why?
Luan: What are you talking about?
Lincoln: Cause all we did was fight over it. And this is exactly what Sharon DeMonet warned us about. [the girls start to look regretful] How about this? From now on, whenever we find money, whether it's a hidden fortune or even this quarter... [takea out the quarter] ...we all share it equally.
Lisa: Okay.
Luan: Sure.
Lori: Sounds good.
Luna: Yeah, i kinda like that.
Anastasia: Well if that's the case, i will take back my quarter thank you very much. [takes the quarter from Lincoln]
Lana: I'll even share the dollar i got back from Charles. [shows them the dollar now covered in a Charles' feces]
Lincoln: [thoroughly disgusted] Let's not...
The others agree and Lily comes crawling out from her nap.
Lori: [picks up Lily] Aw...we're sorry, Lily. Did your noisy sisters, brother, and niece wake you? [makes cute faces to Lily]
Something is attached to Lily's butt.
Lynn: Hey. What's that stuck on Lily's bottom?
Lincoln takes it and unfolds it.
Lincoln: It's...a map!
If you're reading this, it means you came together and got to the "bottom" of the matter! Congratulations! You're almost there!
The kids cheer over this discovery.
Anastasia: [suspicious] But wait. How could she known the map would be on Lily's bottom? And also come up with that worst pun?
The others think about that for a brief moment.
Lola: [breaking the silence] Who cares?! Let's find that money!
They all head out on the search.
The backyard. The kids come across a big X.
Lincoln: X marks the spot.
Lisa: [excited] Ooh! I love solving for X!
Lincoln grabs a sandbox shovel and starts starts digging.
Girls: [chanting] DIG! DIG! DIG! DIG!
Lucy: I've got some experience digging holes. [joins Lincoln in digging]
Girls: DIG! DIG! DIG! DIG!
Luan: Digging is fun for the hole family! [laughs] Get it?
Girls: DIG! DIG! DIG! DIG!
Anastasia: Alright, everyone. Stand back and let the pro diggers to do this. Aunty Luna? A little digging music?
Luna: You got it, niece! [starts strumming her acoustic guitar]
Lana and Anastasia digs like Charles and finds briefcare, much to the other girls' amazement.
Lincoln: [takes it but notices...] It's locked!
Leni: I got this. [takes the briefcase, pulls out her barrette, and picks the lock open with it, stunning her sisters and Anastasia] What? There's more to my head than just air, you know.
Lincoln opens the briefcase and everyone gasps to discover that the money is real.
Lola: [checks the total] Five...hundred...DOLLARS!!!
Lincoln: So, if we share it equally, that means we each gey, uh...
Lisa: $45.4545455 each.
The kids all cheer over their achievement. Luna cheers and Lucy is throwing confetti around like a flower girl at a wedding.
Luna: YEAH! WOO-HOO!
Lucy: Yay. Yay. Yay.
Lola: [spreading some of the money out] ONE! TWO! THREE!
Lincoln plays the bongos on his cheeks. Lori and Leni jump for joy and start doing the tango together. Lana is twirling a lasso, Luan is hugging a tree, Luna is tumbling around, and Anastasia did three backfilps and start moonwalking. All the while, Logan and his parents watch on the kids' happiness.
Rita: It was really nice of you to give up your work bonus. Are you ever gonna tell them that you're Sharon DeMonet?
Lynn Sr: Nah.
Logan: I have to admit, Dad, it's nice to see them sharing money and fighting over it.
Lynn Sr: Yep. All part of Sharon's plan.
Rita: Was destroying the house part of Sharon's plan?
Overview of the destruction from the kids' previous Free-For-All.
Lynn Sr: No. No it wad not.
Rita: Well, now she can...Sharon DeCleanUp! [hands him a broom]
Lynn Sr: [turns to Logan] Logan, can you be a good son and help your dear old Dad?
Logan: Nope. You created this, you fix this. [leaves]
Lynn Sr is not cleaning up the attic.
Lynn Sr: [to the viewers] Money. There just isn't a lot of it in the Loud House. But when there is, it's good to know that from now on, the kids will share it. [spots a dime] Ooh! A dime! [picks it up] I'll just, uh...keep this one to myself. [puts it in his pocket and steps right onto the loose floorboard and gets smacked by it]