Downward Spiral

Disclaimer: Don't own Victorious

A/N:

Chapter 37 (Intern)

Trina walked to Lizzie's office and a heaviness settled into her heart over what was soon to come, which she was sure wouldn't be easy.

She was delinquent by a great deal of money as far as she knew, which meant she had been unable to afford to make a few payments. In the last three months, she had extremely small paychecks. The bakery had become overstaffed, and as a result, she hadn't been getting a lot of hours. Certainly, not enough to be able to keep up with payments.

Entering her supervisor's office, she was met by an unfamiliar expression of confusion and disappointment. She raised her hand, waving slightly. "Hey Lizzie." Her voice was so weak that it seemed the knot in her throat was crushing her voice box. "Want to talk about money?"

Lizzie said little and looked at her monitor. "I know you're having issues right now." The woman glanced back and Trina frowned heavily.

"Are you angry I haven't made payments?" She pulled the small chair back and took a seat. Inwardly she prayed the woman wasn't too mad at her. It pained her to sit in front of her, knowing how much of a disappointment she was had been. "I know I've messed up."

The blond took a deep breath, then released it with incredibly slowness. "No." Trina held her own breath, waiting with widening eyes as the corners of Lizzie's mouth dimpled her cheeks. "I know you're usually good about it, but I am warning you that your fees are going to continue to pile on each month."

She understood this matter and while she felt like she was, she didn't want to become one of the bad ones. It was embarrassing and humiliating, almost as humiliating as what David had done to her. "Am I in trouble?" She folded her hands over her the outer flap of her purse, clutching it tightly with her fingers.

"No, you're just in danger of having so much that you can't pay it all." It amazed her how Lizzie could be so calm and rational, but then, the woman probably saw this all the time. She felt as though she had to prove she wasn't making excuses not to pay. Lizzie's eyes drifted to the monitor and her hand cupped her chin. "There's the risk that if you still owe money by the time your probation is set to end, you will not be able to complete and your term may very well be extended."

The words shocked her beating heart to a halt, and a quick gasp shot from her lips. "No, I can't." Lizzie's comforting smile and soft eyes returned, allowing her some degree of relaxation.

"Just stop and take a deep breath, okay." She clamped her mouth shut and nodded as the frightful tears welled up in her eyes. "If you need to, we can work out a payment plan."

She breathed in through her nose and wiped under her eyes. "I owe so much already." Lizzie hummed and shook her head while moving her hand over to the mouse.

"Not entirely. In the last three months, you've made payments of twenty, so in probation fees alone, you only owe ninety dollars."

It didn't sound like much, but it felt like a lot. "Just that?" She put her hand to her hcest and sucked in some air. "How much do I owe in court fees and victim restitution?" I mean, I know the totals are for the entire duration of the probation term, but…"

"Yes. You have a couple thousand there, but…" Her heart sank to the pit of her stomach and she felt her muscles beginning to tense. "So long as you make regular payments on those, you will be fine."

She was already far too stressed to think about the fees she owed, much less regular payments for such a high amount. "I-I was thinking about college." Lizzie smiled, but Trina had to look awayh. "How on earth can I afford tuition if I have so much to pay here?"

"Well there are plenty of scholarships and loans."

"Like what?" She rolled her eye. "I can't do any of the 'single moms' ones because I gave up my baby."

"I will help you if you like."

"Thanks…" She gasped out once more and wiped away the remaining tears on her cheeks. "I just can't believe I'm one of the bad ones. I can't stand it."

"You're not one of the bad ones, believe me sweetie. I know you're feeling the stress, so just take a moment to calm down and-"

Just then the phone blared out so loudly that both women nearly jumped from their skins.

Normally, the only time Lizzie would answer the phone when a client was there, was if it was someone within the department.

The woman checked the caller ID and apologized before picking up. "What can I do for you, Henry?" Trina sank back in her chair, breathing easy in an attempt to relax her muscles and waited, closing her eyes so she could calm down by focusing on the rhythmic tapping of Lizzie's fingernails on the desk. "Now, sir?" Lizzie suddenly averted her gaze and turned away, much to Trina's confusion.

There was a long and silent pause where the only sound to be heard was the chatter from her boss. "I understand, and I understand your reasoning. I'm not questioning, but the lesson you want her to realize or learn might not be a good idea right at this minute."

There was another pause. Lizzie closed her eyes and let out a last sigh of defeat.

"Send her on up, I'll notify my client." Trina raised an eyebrow, steeling herself as Lizzie set the receiver down. The woman shook her head slowly and rubbed her forehead with her fingers. "Okay. So I told you on the last field visit that I would be receiving a student intern to shadow me…"

Trina nodded, recalling the conversation. She remembered as well that at the time, Lizzie hadn't known who the intern would be. Lizzie laced her fingers together on the center of her desk and arched her back, groaning softly.

"She's here." Trina nodded again, remaining silent while the nerves inside of her began to grow. "It's her first day with me. It's not the best timing, but it's unavoidable."

"First day with you?"

"Yeah, she had to visit with some other people in the department first, to go through paperwork regarding confidentiality, among other things. Yesterday, she was to watch a video talking about what probation was all about. Now, she's going to be observing me during office visits." Lizzie put her hand to her chest. "I'm the one that typically takes interns, no one else does."

"You said you didn't know just yet last time, so I'm guessing you were told who it was since then…"

"Correct. I only just found out when she started." Lizzie's face gave away the woman's own nervousness, which hit Trina with a great deal of shock. This was unprecedented, so it had to be rough. "I wanted a little more time to prepare, since I knew the situation. Unfortunately, I can't tell her not to shadow me when she is supposed to be observing my office visits."

It wasn't good that Lizzie was being cryptic, or at least, Trina felt the woman was doing just that. "Why would it be a problem?" She bit her lip and steadied her breathing. "I don't mind an intern." So long as it was confidential, she was fine. She didn't like someone else knowing all about her situation in this manner, but she had no choice.

"It could potentially be if there's history there."

Trina paused, leaning back slowly and squinting in thought. She was curious now, for this seemed to suggest Trina might know the person. It seemed unlikely, since no one she knew would be into this line of work as far as she was concerned. "Who is it? Its' starting to sound like someone I know."

"It is." Lizzie let her shoulders fall and let out a heavy sigh. "She's eager to learn how the system works. The only reason I'm nervous is because I was hoping she could see a few clients first before meeting you."

There was a sharp pain in her side, and she looked carefully at the closed door. "That's a problem, why?" What reason could Lizzie possibly have for not wanting Trina to be the first probationer her intern interacted with? Maybe there was a lesson she wanted to teach first, but Trina couldn't pinpoint it.

"I wanted to groom her a little first. Let her learn about the different situations people get into without judging them. I don't want her judging you, and I know what you've said about her." Trina tensed her brow and started to worry.

Before she could ask, a knock on the door silenced the pair. She twisted around, startled by the interruption. The door slid open, and Trina's blood turned to ice as she laid eyes on a familiar dark-haired girl walking in with her father. "J-Jade?"

Her breathing quaked and her chest began to churn as if a storm were tearing it apart. This wasn't right; it couldn't be this girl. "N-No." She could deal with anyone else being here, learning about her life, but not her. This was the one person that might judge the hell out of her and laugh at her circumstances.

Jade's own eyes lit up with surprise, and the girl's hands flew over her mouth. "That can't be right," Jade muttered, "Trina? You're on probation? How are you on probation?" Jade looked at her father and pointed at Trina. "I know this girl, she's no criminal. If anything, her dad-"

"Step dad," Trina corrected with silence. Jade froze and Trina looked down at the carpet under her feet. "Davis my step-dad."

Henry crossed his arms and breathed in slow. "The reason I do this now, Jade, is for you to see and learn that just about anyone can end up making mistakes and bad choices in their life."

Trina's eyes closed tight and she swallowed the lump in her throat. "I was trying to protect mom and Tori. He was going on another one of his rages, and I went to protect them. Of course, I'd been drinking, so he used that to say the beating he gave me was done in self-defense. The police looked the other way, and I got put on deferred probation as a result for assault."

She felt weak, and wanted to scream. Her lungs were on fire and her entire body felt as though stones were being thrown into her.

It would be hard to talk about things if Jade was going to be here, but she could try. It would involve a lot of swallowing of her pride and her concerns, but it wasn't impossible.

"I'm here to learn," Jade replied, "I'm not here to judge."

"That'd be a first."

"I know…I'm only here to observe, okay? I'm not going to say anything, I'm just going to listen. I have to be impartial, and that's what I'm going to do." Lizzie nodded and motioned at Jade.

"I personally would rather you do that, not say much of anything to her and just observe how office visits and field visits go. There's history between the two of you, but unfortunately it only counts as a conflict of interest for the actual officers, not the interns. If it becomes too uncomfortable, I can have you go shred papers…"

"I'll try," Trina replied softly, "I'll try and be okay with this."

As per the beginning conversation, it's some point after this which Gary pays off the probation fees. Trina's been wanting to be independent and able to take care of things herself, but there's a time asking for help becomes pivotal. Now Jade's finally here as the intern.