Summary: When Halo lures Kitty into the sewer, she must find her way home with the help of a rather strange new ally.

After the roller coaster that was the previous chapter, I decided that you guys could do with a little break. So, here's a fun, quirky chapter that takes place during the events of "In Loving Memory." We'll get back to the plot-heavy stuff later.

Also, it would be beneficial for you to see the FOP episode, "Gone Flushin'" before you read this. It's not a requirement, but it would help.

Chapters Recommended Before Reading:

Black Cat's Cradle

Imagine That

In Loving Memory

When the Cat's Away

The day was disgustingly sunny. Why couldn't they have done this on a rainy day or at least waited until nightfall? It was probably for Denzel's sake. Foop constantly had to remind himself that humans didn't take to darkness and gloomy days like anti-fairies did. Kitty didn't like them either. Foop refused to acknowledge the spirit animal floating next to him, her big green eyes staring in awe at every little thing. Foop could handle the dumb cat visiting Earth for the first time, but did she have to come with him and Halo? This was supposed to be the day that Foop introduced Halo to Dark Laser and Mr. Crocker. Stupid Kitty had begged to come, and Foop had agreed just to shut her up.

Fine. He put up with her at home, he could put up with her on Earth.

Today, Crocker was eager to introduce his non-human friends to "the many wonders of Earth," as he put it. Foop had to admit, he was a little curious. Unlike Kitty, he, Halo, and Laser had been to Earth countless times, but none of them had ever really paid much attention to anything that wasn't Timmy Turner's house or the Cake 'N' Bacon.

Foop just hoped they didn't run into that bear. Or, Vicky. Or, those peppy-happy-whatever weirdos. Seriously, no one is that peppy or happy! He just knew those two were hiding something!

"And, the next stop on our tour of planet Earth, or at least Dimmsdale," Crocker said as he lead them down the sidewalk, cars flying by and people occasionally giving them strange looks, "is the pet store." He held open the doors to the shop and let his friends through. "This is where humans buy inferior creatures in an attempt to fill the void in their lives. Sometimes, people even drop off creatures that have failed to fill the void in their lives. I once tried to bring Mother here, but it turns you have to be genetically classified as an animal in order to be sold as one."

"We know what pet stores are, Denzel," Foop said, rolling his eyes. "We have them in Anti-Fairy World."

"We have nothing like this place on my home planet," Dark Laser commented, observing a laser pointer. "On my planet, we simply capture wild animals and tame them ourselves." He grinned at the toy dog he'd sat on the self. "But, not you, Flipsie. You've always been as sweet as they come, haven't you?" Flipsie let out a mechanical bark and flipped, making Laser laugh and everyone else groan.

Laser accidentally pushed the tiny button on the laser pointer he was holding, shining a tiny red light on the ceiling. Kitty's attention shot right to it. "What's that thing on the ceiling?"

Halo blinked in confusion. "Um...a red dot?"

Kitty flew up to it, as if in a trance. "It's glorious…" She reached up and smacked her paw on it, surprised when it seemingly phased through her and rested on top of her paw. She jerked back. "Witchcraft!"

Foop laughed, swiped the laser pointer, and started shining at various places on the ceiling. He laughed harder, when she started crawling along the ceiling, chasing after it. "Typical cat! Obsessed with a stupid red dot. Halo, you gotta try this."

Halo turned away from the rabbit he'd been making kissy-faces at, saw what Foop was doing, and frowned at him. "That seems unnecessarily cruel."

"That's what makes it fun."

Crocker cleared his throat and waved his arms. "Hello? I'm trying to give a guided tour here. Is anyone even listening?" Foop kept messing with Kitty, Halo had moved on to gawking at hamsters, and Dark Laser was asking Flipsie if it wanted a new collar. Crocker sighed. "I may as well be teaching."

"Hey, he's waking up," a feminine voice said.

Foop opened his eyes and squinted at that Goddess-forsaken Earth sun. Why in Her name was he now on concrete? Weren't they just in the pet store?

Halo gently nudged him, dark purple eyes even darker with worry. "Foop. Are you okay? C-Can you hear me?"

Foop gazed at his blurry surroundings, every movement setting his head on fire. And, since he was mostly head, that was a pretty bad feeling. They were the only ones around, by the look of things. Foop tried to ask what happened, but a loud gag came out instead of actual words.

"Oh my," Dark Laser said, grabbing Foop and holding him over a trash can.

Foop dry heaved for a little while, wondering what he did (this time) to deserve such torture. He eventually recovered enough to form sentences, though his breathing was still heavier than he thought was healthy. "I...I hate my life."

Kitty folded her arms and scowled at him. "You see? This is exactly why I wanted to come with you. You're still recovering from giving Halo a body. Your dad and Dr. Anti-Studwell said that too much stimuli can be harmful."

"Well, the joke's on you, Kitty." Foop kicked his legs in the universal toddler language for "Unhand me, or you will lose the arms you are imprisoning me with." Laser let go of him, apparently fluent in said language. Foop leaned back on his elbows on the edge of the trash can because it made him look cool and not because floating without the trash can's support was making him dizzy all over again. Nope. That had nothing to do with it. He wasn't even dizzy, and he would deny it if someone said otherwise. "I don't even know what stimuli is."

Kitty rolled her eyes. "Either way, I should just take you home now, before something else goes wrong- Oh no! The dot is back!"

As she chased around the little red dot that had appeared on the sidewalk, Crocker whispered to Foop, who was holding the laser pointer from earlier, "You stole that, didn't you?"

"Duh," Foop responded. "That stupid cat has been a thorn in my side since I met her. Honestly, life was so much easier before she and Father did that stupid binding-blood-thing or whatever it was. Now, I can't get rid of her."

Halo smiled at that and held out his hand. "Gimme that, Foop. I'll get Kitty out of here. You rest up."

Foop smiled back and handed him the laser pointer. "Halo, what did I do before you became an actual person?" Pointing the light at the ground, Halo lured Kitty down the street. "He is so nice," Foop commented.

"Yes," Laser agreed, "but don't you think you were a little hard on Kitty? I mean, she's not exactly my favorite creature either - too much of a goody-two-shoes for my liking - but is she not just looking out for you?"

Foop raised a suspicious eyebrow. "You're asking for Flipsie, aren't you?"

Laser flinched and looked apologetically at the toy in his hand. "Sorry, Flipsie. Looks like you've been caught red-handed." Flipsie fell on to its side.

If he'd known it would be this much fun, Halo would have done this a long time ago. Kitty followed the red light wherever he shined it. He could lead her through the sewer, and she'd have no idea what happened.

Hm. There was an idea.

What had Anti-Cosmo once said about a spirit animal's powers? That they were nature-based, yes, but also that they didn't work around pollution. Sewers were full of that stuff, right?

Halo realized that he'd stopped moving the light. Kitty aggressively pawed at the ground where the tiny dot remained stagnant, screaming, "How is it doing that!?" as the light appeared on top of her black paws as she moved them.

Halo spotted two human workers with some supplies near an open manhole. That was convenient, but how would he get Kitty down there without being spotted?

And, where was that poorly recorded music coming from?

An ice cream truck shaped like a cartoonish rocket ship pulled up not far from the workers, who looked over at it. A dirty, scruffy-looking young man popped his head out the driver's side window.

"Excuse me, gentlemen," the ice cream man called. "I took a wrong turn, and now I'm totally lost! I'll give both of you free ice cream if you can tell me how get back to Muckledunk from here."

"Muckledunk?" one of the workers said in surprise.

The other worker replied, "You're awful far from home, buddy."

The ice cream man glared at them. "I'm bad with directions, okay? Now, do you want your ice cream or not?"

The workers looked at each other, shrugged, and walked over to the ice cream man.

"That was almost too convenient," Halo mused. He shined the light into the sewer, and Kitty followed it like an idiot. "Here, Kitty, Kitty," He couldn't resist adding.

Kitty looked into the sewer and hissed, shrinking back from the stench. "I'd keep chasing you, dot, but you're in a gross sewer."

Halo pushed her into the manhole and said a quick, "Goodbye, Kitty!" Once he heard a satisfying splash, he pulled the nearby grate back over the manhole and proudly stuck the laser pointer in his hoodie pocket. "Well, that takes care of her. Now, Foop can be happy!"

Ew, ew, ew!

Trying to lick herself clean was terrible idea. Curse her instincts! Standing on all fours on what could probably pass for a walkway, Kitty shook herself out like a dog. She was still wet with things she didn't want to think about, but at least she wasn't soaked through anymore. Though the urge to lick was still there for some reason. Instincts were weird.

Kitty wanted to claw at herself. If she had only resisted that dot's tempting red glow, she wouldn't have been forced into this disgusting place. Not only did it reek of...Mother Nature knows what, but the smell itself told Kitty that it the pollution down there was enough to make even the most basic magic null and void. Until she found a way out, she was basically a talking cat with wings that didn't work. No problem. She just had to climb up those rungs on the wall and somehow pry open the grate up there-

"Why, hello there, fellow feline." A large hand grabbed her by the scruff and lifted her up. Before she could react, she found herself face-to-face with a human she'd never seen before. He had violet eyes, wrinkly skin, and...an orange cat costume? A dirty costume at that, though that was probably the sewer's fault. "I must admit, I hadn't expected to see any other cats down here."

Other cats? There were other cats in the sewer? "Uh, who are you?"

"The name's Ratman. I mean, Catman. Sorry. About a week ago, I got flushed down the toilet and found a rat costume in this very sewer, so I started calling myself Ratman. Then, I escaped with the help of my good friend, Tim- Uh, I mean, Fishman and started wearing my backup Catman suit. So, now I'm back to being the superhero known simply as Catman!"

Kitty just stared at him and his filthy costume. "So...basically you're a crazy guy in a cat suit."

"Bingo," Catman confirmed.

Well, at least he admits it. "Can you put me down, now? This is starting to get uncomfortable. In more ways than one."

But, Catman just kept talking, as though she hadn't said a gosh-darned thing. "I bet you're wondering why I've returned here."

"Actually, I'm not."

"You see, during my days here, I befriended a boa constrictor named Cuddles."

"Please, put me down."

"He returned to the surface with me, and all was well."

"Seriously not caring."

"Or, so I thought."

"Is this really what my life has come to?"

"One day, I saw Cuddles get pulled down here by some other snake."

"Oh, wow. Who cares?"

"So, I'm here to rescue him." Catman blinked at her. "Sorry, I don't think I caught your name."

"It's Kitty. Can I go home now? There's a ladder right next to us."

Catman flashed her a determined smile. "Tell ya what, Kitty. You help me save Cuddles, and I'll help you find a way out."

"I can tell I'm fighting an uphill battle here, so I guess my only option is to grudgingly say yes."

This is time I'll never get back, Kitty lamented. She and this crazy old human had been wandering the sewers, looking for a snake that she wasn't entirely convinced existed, for longer than she cared to admit. Plus, every time she tried to escape, Catman would grab her and tell her to focus. Really, even without magic, she should have at least clawed his face off at this point. Mother Nature knows she'd considered it several times through the course of this ridiculous adventure.

Catman flattened his back against the wall and peered around a corner. "Okay, Kitty," he said quietly. "I think I've found the kidnapper. And, he's got Cuddles. Now, before we go into battle, I need to know what kind of superpowers you have. I like to know what I'm working with."

"Normally, I can fly and bend nature to my wim," Kitty informed. "But, there's so much pollution down here, my powers are as useless as trying to reason with you."

"So, pollution is your one weakness, eh?" Catman said, either oblivious of or simply ignoring that last comment. "In that case, I'll distract the kidnapper, and you get Cuddles out of here."

Before Kitty could snark at him again, probably by informing him that the "kidnapper" was a female, he pounced at the brown-green boa constrictor. The she-snake lunged, but it was the male snake that wrapped himself tightly around Catman. "C-C-Cuddles?" Catman choked out. The snake - so Cuddles did exist, then - seemed to recognize him and loosened his grip. "I don't understand. Shouldn't you be attacking that monster that kidnapped you?"

Cuddles released Catman and slithered toward the female snake. The two of them slid their bodies gently around each other, and Cuddles gave Catman a meaningful look.

Since Catman still seemed confused, Kitty smiled and spelled it out for him. "Catman, I think Cuddles and that girl snake are mates." Catman still didn't get it. Kitty narrowed her eyes. "They're in love, dummy."

"Oh! Why didn't you just say that in the first place?" Catman looked back at the snakes and smiled. "Well, if Cuddles is happy, then I'm happy. Hey, what are they doing now?"

Kitty paled under her fur. "Uh, just a...romantic dance." Knowing that Cuddles would leave his mate after...dancing romantically...with her, Kitty grabbed Catman by the hand and dragged him away, not wanting to be pulled into another weird adventure with this weird old man. "Okay, let's get out of here."

Feeling much better than he had two hours ago, Foop happily licked the ice cream Crocker had bought them all (with his mother's medicine money, bless his soul) from what he described as a "really loud ice cream man." Foop didn't know what that meant, and frankly, he didn't want to. As the mint-chocolatey flavor bathed his tongue, he, Halo, and Laser sat on the park bench, watching Crocker poke his head out of the bush next to them and half-listening to the man rant about how the park was the perfect place to search for "FAIRY GODPARENTS!"

Fortunately, Crocker's stupid antics were interrupted by an exhausted Kitty floating up to them. "Hey, guys. I'm back."

"How are you here?" Halo asked vehemently, then he caught himself. "I-I mean, where have you been?"

Dark Laser sniffed the air. "And, what smells like a gas station bathroom?"

"Don't ask," Kitty deadpanned. "It's been a long two hours, and right now all I wanna do is go home."

"Yeah, me too," Foop agreed, polishing off his ice cream. "This is getting boring." He took a bite out of the cone.

Halo looked from Kitty to Foop. "Well, if Foop's bored, then I'm bored."

"Where do you even live?" Foop asked him.

Halo shrugged. "I just kinda go wherever. I find that I don't really need food or water or anything. Formerly-Imaginary and all. I'll bet anything I don't even need sleep."

"I wish I didn't need sleep," Laser commented. "Then, I wouldn't have taken that nap during Denzel's rant. Oh, who am I kidding? I would have done that anyway."

"Hey, I'm right here!" Crocker snapped.

When Foop and Kitty got home, they flew into the living room and found Anti-Cosmo pacing and Anti-Wanda sitting on the couch with her head in her hands. The adults looked up at them, unintentionally showing reddened, puffy eyes. Also, their clothes were stained with what appeared to be anti-fairy blood. And, Anti-Cosmo's hands were bandaged, and his wings were...covered in jagged green lines?

"You wanna ask," Kitty said to Foop, "or should I?"

"I'll do it." Foop cleared his throat. "So...what did we miss this time?"

The End?

Can't decide if I wanna post another filler next or stick with this more serious thing I have planned. Meh, I'll figure that out later. Review!