'It takes a great deal of bravery to stand up to our enemies, but just as much to stand up to our friends.' – Albus Dumbledore, (Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone: J.K. Rowling)

The Talk

WHACK

Sirius sent the bludger very far off course. He marvelled at the strength which his anger seemed to give him. It felt so good to vent it all on that dangerous black ball.

So she was going out and partying now that they were over, he thought angrily. She obviously never cared.

'At least I beat her in transfiguration,' he muttered, smiling to himself.

It had been worth losing a whole night's sleep just to get back at her with that. It was probably killing her now that he had beaten her and that dish of revenge tasted so sweet.

It was sweet, but he could not dismiss that bitter aftertaste either.

WHACK

He swung at the black ball again and exuded his power over it, showing exactly who was in charge.

He had somehow lost control over his life over these past few months. Now, as he exerted all of his strength on that bludger, he remembered how good it was to be in control. She had not controlled him in the manner which his other girlfriends had attempted to by knowing where he was every second of the day. It was, in fact, quite the contrary; she never asked him what he had been doing or where he had been, showing what he now viewed to be a lack of interest.

No, she had controlled him in another way. He thought that once they started going out, he would think of her less often, but this did not happen. He would usually spend time thinking of her, sometimes staring at her as she sat in front of him for a whole class, only to look at his empty parchment in front of him and discover that class was dismissed. She really was a witch of a woman.

WHACK

'I'm going to find someone else before school's over. It's about time that I had a shag.

WHACK

'There you go, Asteria. You can go party with Snivellud because it's over.'

WHACK

'Sirius Black is back'

Sirius smiled grimly. It was a satisfying feeling.

'Come on. Get up, we're going to Hogsmeade,' Lily said assertively to Helen who was still in bed at ten o'clock.

Having Helen in such a state had forced Lily to adopt a practical attitude. It made her realise very quickly that she would not wallow in depression over Severus' betrayal. It was his problem that he had lost her as a friend, not her own.

'I don't want to. Leave me alone,' Helen mumbled, pulling the covers over her head.

'Get up right now. I'm not going to sit back and watch you do this to yourself because of that bastard,' Lily snapped.

'This has nothing to do with him,' came Helen's muffled voice from under her covers.

'Well I don't care what it has to do with. You either get up right now, or I shall levitate you out of bed. Take your pick,' Lily said, crossing her arms.

Helen slowly sat up and looked at Lily reproachfully.

'Why can't you just leave me be?' she muttered resentfully as she rolled out of bed and found clothes.

Lily smiled sweetly at Helen as she made up her bed.

'I'll be ready in five,' Helen said eventually, going to the bathroom.

------

'There, now that's better!' Lily smiled, upon Helen's emergence from the bathroom. She no longer resembled the mess which she was when she woke up, but her normal radiant self. The only thing which had not disappeared was the dull expression in her normally lively eyes.

Although Helen appreciated what Lily was doing for her and was glad that she could take her mind off Sirius and all the troubles that came with him for a few hours, Hogsmeade really did not raise her spirits much higher. In fact, it served to lower them quite substantially. When she passed James in Honeyduke's, who was with Peter and Remus- Sirius seemed to be elsewhere- he looked her coldly in the eye before walking off in another direction.

Remus looked as though he was going to say something to Helen, but she did not wait for it, taking Lily away from the counter and leaving the shop quickly.

'Lily, I'm going now. I…'

Helen stopped short and stared ahead of her. Lily turned around to see precisely what had caused Helen to stop. Lily had never felt more inclined to committing murder as she had at that point.

Sirius was walking with Melinda North, a fifth year Ravenclaw, into Madam Puddifoot's café.

'Oh, Helen, he's…' Lily faltered, not knowing exactly what to say now that it really hit her that Helen and Sirius were actually over.

Helen wore a peculiar smile on her face which was very unsettling to Lily.

'Where do you want to go now?' she asked Lily calmly, turning to her with a look which Lily understood to mean that Sirius Black was never to be discussed again.

'Remus, can I talk to you?'

Remus looked up from his desk at the library to see Lily looking at him purposefully.

'Sure… is everything okay?' he added, noticing Lily's worried demeanour.

'Do you think we could go somewhere else?'

Remus nodded, packed his books and they left the library and entered the nearest empty classroom. Although Remus had always gotten along amiably with Lily, they never really sought each other for conversations, and he was not quite sure why Lily would seek him if something was troubling her.

'I don't know what to do and you're the only person whom I can think of who can help,' Lily said as soon as she had shut the door.

Remus shot Lily a puzzled expression.

'Er…'

'She pretends like she doesn't care that they've broken up, but she does,' Lily cut in. 'I mean… she's smoking! Helen smoking? She used to be so healthy!... and I'm sure she cries in the bathroom at night because no one spends an hour in the middle of the night going to the toilet. I personally don't think that Black deserves her- so it's for the best that they're not together anymore- but you've been her friend for a long time and you're also friends with Black. Maybe you can talk to her and help her get out of this mess she's in because nothing I say is working and I'm scared of what's going to happen to her if she continues in this manner,' Lily said finally, her eyes wide.

Remus stared at Lily.

'She liked him that much?' he stammered, unable to picture Helen being affected by someone as much as Lily had described.

Lily nodded apprehensively.

'It doesn't help that that blasted Potter is being a prat to her as well…Will you talk with her?'

'Of course! Where is she?' Remus said, feeling terrible at the thought of Helen suffering so much.

'I don't know... I'd say outside somewhere because she said she was going for a walk,' Lily said grimly.

'Okay. I'll try talking some sense into her,' Remus nodded as they left the classroom.

He found her lying in the middle of the quidditch pitch.

'Smoking's bad for you,' he said, taking the cigarette from her and putting it out as he sat next to where she was lying.

Helen opened her eyes and a look of annoyance came across her face.

'That was my last one,' she snapped.

'Well it's gone and you're not going to get any more. What's wrong with you?' he said, angry that she was doing this to herself.

Helen laughed uncharacteristically.

'Oh there are many things that are wrong with me Remus… but I don't care,' she shrugged.

'Well you've been my friend since the first day of school and I do care. I'm not going to sit back and watch you do this to yourself,' he said firmly.

'You know, Remus, I'm going home tomorrow and I'm going to have to put on a good-girl act for a whole three months. I don't have to be perfect now,' she said wearily.

'You're not doing this because you have to go home. You're doing it because of Sirius,' he sighed.

Helen shrugged nonchalantly and closed her eyes. Her thoughts were hazy and her mind was numb. She had started falling down the hill with the crying and now it had turned into this; reckless self-destruction. She had once heard a philosophy which said that the better one is for longer, the harder the crash is when they inevitably fall; because everyone does fall at some stage.

And she had completely crashed now.

Remus surveyed his friend sadly. She had changed so much.

'Was I wrong in what I did?' she asked after a while of silence.

Remus shook his head.

'No. What you did was right… sometimes I wish I could have the courage to stand up to them as you do because they were very wrong in what they did. It's not your fault, Helen,' Remus reassured her.

'But I bet you that he's out there professing that I'm the biggest bitch in the world,' Helen laughed sarcastically.

Remus didn't answer her statement. Although Sirius may not have used those exact words, he pretty much managed to convey the same message anyway.

Helen sighed.

'Either way, it doesn't matter anymore,' she said wearily.

'Please stop doing this to yourself,' Remus said, feeling very sad indeed as he looked at Helen.

Helen opened her eyes and smiled at him.

'Oh, but I've been like this all my life,' she said sadly. 'It's just that you've never seen me get like this… but I guess some things never change,' she finished bitterly, closing her eyes again.

Remus sighed and felt terrible as he left her. He had not been able to help at all, yet she had always helped him when he was going through a hard time.

Remus could stand it no longer. He could not take Sirius' long declarations of how terrible Helen was after his previous conversation with her.

He stood up suddenly and paced the dormitory, running his hands frustratedly through his hair.

'Moony, is everything alright?' James piped up, looking at his friend strangely.

Remus stopped walking.

'No. Everything is not alright,' he said sternly. 'It is time someone made you all realise that you go way too far sometimes.'

Peter, James and Sirius gaped at him.

'Er… let's take him to the hospital wing,' Sirius said to James, nudging him and winking.

'No, Sirius. You have sat here complaining about Helen and saying how terrible she is to us for a whole week, but you don't realise exactly what you did to her. For once, she was very justified in everything she did and said and it's time you understood that.'

'She chose Snivellus over us,' James said self-righteously.

Remus shook his head sadly.

'No, James, she didn't choose him over you two. He has been her friend for a long time and you both put her in a situation where she had to choose between watching you two humiliate him in a disgusting manner, and saving him from that. Didn't you notice that she hardly left a scratch on you two? What she did was what being a true friend is about- she saved him from two bullies. She didn't betray you; she just stood up to you two.'

'Disgusting manner?' Sirius scoffed. 'What are you talking ab…'

'It was, Sirius. It was disgusting and you both should really be ashamed of yourselves. It is one thing to duel and another to humiliate and what you two did was nothing short of what the likes of Bellatrix and Rodolphus would do,' Remus said.

'You sound like Evans,' James said, rolling his eyes. 'Arrogant, big-headed, bullies,' James mimicked in her voice, causing all the marauders except for Remus to laugh.

Remus stared at his friends until the noticed that he was not amused.

'Did it ever occur to you, James, that she may be right? You do bully people and what you did to Snape pretty much epitomised what bullying is. I'm your friend, but you both are arrogant and over-cocky in public and it really gets tiring after a while. Why don't you both just act as you do normally?'

The other three stared at Remus.

'You're sticking up for Snivellus,' Sirius said in a disgusted voice. 'You know he would rat on your 'furry little problem' at the drop of a hat, don't you?'

Remus sighed. They just did not understand him.

'I am not sticking up for Snape. I am merely saying that what you two do to him is unfair- two to one as it was. That's not even a fair duel! As for him being eager to tell the world of my condition, Sirius, is he really that unjustified? That prank you played on him would have killed him had James not stopped it… and did you ever think of how that would make me feel? Huh? How I would feel, knowing that I had killed a student?' Remus said, becoming angry at Sirius' attitude.

Sirius suddenly became sheepish.

'No… er… sorry Moony. I never really thought of it in that way,' he admitted, shifting uncomfortably.

'No. You didn't- just like you're not thinking now about how you made Helen feel when you not only humiliated one of her friends, but abused her for saving him,' Remus finished.

Sirius opened his mouth to protest.

'… and you really did abuse her. You said that you really cared about her, but how could you talk to her in that way- with such language- if you truly liked her? How could you go out with Melinda so quickly?'

'She shouts at me all the time,' Sirius said defensively.

'But she never said or did things to you which were as hurtful as what you said and did to her,' Remus snapped.

Sirius sighed, conceding defeat.

There was a tense silence.

'Do you still like her?' Remus asked quietly, looking at Sirius with scrutinizing eyes.

Sirius face paled as he stared at the other maruaders who waited for his answer. He then hung his head and pursed his lips before giving a jerky nod.

'Well I suggest you try and fix this mess before it's too late because, if you don't, I don't think you'll ever stand a chance with her again,' Remus said, wondering how he became the coach on relationship advice.

Sirius snorted.

'I doubt she even wants to see me ever again. She seems quite happy without me,' he said bitterly.

Remus wondered if he would be betraying Helen by telling Sirius this, but realised that there were enough things which were unsaid between the two and they both really had to confront the truth- the whole truth.

He sighed.

'Sirius, you don't have any idea what she's been going through since you two broke up. Maybe she can act as though she's nonchalant and doesn't give a damn about the whole thing in front of you, but why do you think she would get drunk and stoned the night before her final OWL? Because she thought it would be a blast? No. It was because she was probably devastated… and she hasn't given the smoking up since then either…'

'Hang on a sec… let's just slow down a bit here,' Sirius said, holding up his hand. 'You're making it sound as though she was like… I dunno… like she was… 'in love' with me or something. Trust me, I don't think she liked me that much…' Sirius said as though the idea of Helen being in love with him was a ridiculous joke.

Remus looked at Sirius incredulously.

'How can you be that daft? If she wasn't 'in love' with you, she most definitely was close to it,' he sighed.

James sighed and nodded in agreement with Remus. He had caught the way Helen would look at Sirius sometimes, when she thought no one was watching. This betrayed any supposed façade of indifference which she put on in public.

Sirius stared at them all.

'What do I do?' he asked hopelessly, feeling very stupid, ashamed, and sick about his behaviour now.

They all sat silently, not knowing exactly how Sirius could fix the huge fiasco which he had created.

'You could apologise to Snape,' Remus suggested.

The looks of disgust which he received upon this suggestion made Remus realise that this was probably asking for too much.

'Well it would be a big gesture which she probably would appreciate,' he said defensively.

'Any other suggestions which don't involve Snivellus?' Sirius asked, looking around.

'The only time you'll have will be on the train ride home,' Peter pointed out.

Sirius frowned, as did they all.

'If you let this go into the holidays, it'll be very hard to fix it,' James pointed out, feeling very bad himself for the way he had been treating Helen since the incident.

'Thanks mate,' Sirius said sarcastically. 'What do I do? Will she talk to me? I doubt it. That Evans won't allow it,' he said.

'You will have to talk with her, though. There's no other way… but what will you say? Saying you're sorry will not quite cut it this time,' Remus frowned.

'And what if I don't get through to her by the time we leave?' Sirius asked; his face pale at the thought.

'I would suggest lowering your standards for your next girlfriend,' James muttered.

Remus silently agreed with James.

'You could write her a really good letter. Girls seem to like that stuff,' Peter shrugged.

Sirius looked up at Peter.

'That's a really good idea, you know… I hope I don't have to get to that stage, but if it does…'

Remus nodded, somewhat taken by Peter's moment of cleverness. It was at that moment, as they continued to discuss what Sirius could do, that Remus realised that he no longer wanted Helen as anything more than a close friend.

It was quite an emancipating feeling.

Sirius spent the whole journey home searching for Helen on the train.

'Man, this is the sorriest return trip we ever had,' James grumbled when Sirius came in their compartment, half an hour from King's Cross, and desperately suggested that they split up to find her after having failed to locate her.

Peter wandered down the aisle, feeling very annoyed that he was being used to help Sirius get Helen back. Suddenly, he smelt something which he recognised.

It was her perfume- the same, sweet perfume which she had worn since he first laid eyes upon her. He peered into the compartment window to see Lily Evans talking to… no one. It dawned upon Peter that Helen was inside that compartment and had, somehow, made herself invincible.

He returned back to their compartment where they had arranged to meet.

'Did you see her, Wormtail?' James asked.

He shook his head.

Remus and James exchanged significant looks.

'Poor Sirius,' Remus sighed.

'Poor Pads indeed,' James said. He too had wanted to find Helen and apologise. He had stayed up all night, wracked with the guilt of his behaviour towards her. Now that the train was rolling into King's Cross Station, it would be two months until he next saw her.

Two months was a long time in which a lot could change.

Not the longest chapter and, truth be told, it is a bit of a filler for what is following in our next chapter.

A few important things happened in it, though. Helen is really having a hard time now. I think 'losing' not just Sirius but James as well really has taken its toll on her and next chapter, when she is combined with someone who himself is not the best influence, we see her starting to really go off the rails... we'll also learn more about Helen's past as we see her at home.

At least Remus looks to be moving on... In OotP, Sirius said that Remus sometimes made them feel 'ashamed' of themselves. That's kind of what I was going for in this chapter. In any case, he stuck up for Helen when the 'ringleaders' were both very much against her- which was good of him.

What about Sirius? I'm not too impressed by his attitude and Helen wouldn't be either if she could think straight.

Another thing... did we notice that Peter is not the most loyal friend? Hmmm. (not that we needed to be told that)

Anyway, so now that you are probably stuffed like Christmas turkeys, why don't you write a review to type some of it off? (Come on... you have to admit that it's a pretty original review request... hehe)

Lots of love, Anya